


Being Heard

by Victuuri gives me feelings (Help_Im_Shipper_Trash)



Series: It's like a bad romance novel [1]
Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drunk Ritsu, Established Relationship, Jealous Takano, M/M, Masamune has issues, Oblivious Ritsu, Possessive Masamune, Protective Ritsu, Ritsu has issues, Some things are the same but a lot of things are different, Takano is so done, They're both a mess but they're trying, This was supossed to be a oneshot, oh yeah i almost forgot, these idiots are so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-04-05 05:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 131,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14037096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Help_Im_Shipper_Trash/pseuds/Victuuri%20gives%20me%20feelings
Summary: Ritsu Onodera is not sure about a lot of things, least of all his feelings. But one thing he does know is that he's spent his entire life not being heard.At least, he has until now.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I literally haven't written anything in a good year or two but last night at 2 a.m I could not sleep so I present you with this. Please take it away from me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why. Do. I. Keep. Accidently. Deleting. This. Chapter?????

Onodera Ritsu is not sure about a lot of things.

He's not sure if he  _actually_  has a fiance. He's not sure if he has what it takes to learn to be a decent Manga Editor. And he is certainly not sure about his own feelings. But he  _is_  sure about one thing.

Ever since he can remember, no matter what he says, or how loudly he speaks, his voice is always being drowned out.

This is not always literal, of course.

_"I won't marry An-Chan."_

He is ignored.

_"I don't want to take over Onodera Publishing."_

His words are brushed off.

_"This is not love!"_

His own heart disregards the things he says. The traitor.

_"I love you."_

_..._

Well, he said his voice wasn't  _always_  literally drowned out. He still hasn't forgiven the rain for that one.

But now, he needs to be heard.

_"Takano!"_

The man in question stops, turning his head to peer over his shoulder at his terrified looking subordinate.

_Just this once._

_"Takano, I…"_

He raises an eyebrow in question, and Onodera almost loses his nerve. Almost cuts his own voice off before it can speak. But he doesn't, because he can't. He  _can't_  let the words die  _again._  So he clenches his fist, takes a deep breath, and  _speaks._

_Please_

_"I love you! I have only ever loved you!"_

This is it. Ritsu breathes heavily and forces himself not to run away. If his voice is not heard, if his words are drowned out  _again,_  he wonders if he'll ever find the will to speak again.

Hazel eyes widen, and Takano... doesn't say anything.

That damn suffocating silence that always falls between them is back, and Ritsu can honestly state that he has never hated it more than in this moment. He's just about ready to bolt, change his name, and move far, far away. He can't use  _Oda,_ Takano already knows that one. But it's fine, he'll figure something out. Before he can make good on his escape plan, though, the most amazing thing happens.

Takano  _smiles._

The sheer relief that Ritsu feels is staggering. Because  _finally._

"Well, that confession certainly took long enough." Takano's tone is teasing, but his eyes are soft, and his smile is the brightest Ritsu has ever seen it.

The instant scowl on Ritsu's face is half-assed, at best. And his cheeks are glowing far too brightly to appear indifferent. "It's not my fault you didn't hear me the first time," he says petulantly, turning away so that Takano can't see his face.

He almost expects not to be heard. His heart twinges painfully.

But Takano's eyes widen, and he inhales sharply. Quick as lightning, he is at Ritsu's side, holding his hand tightly, as if to prevent him from running away. Ritsu almost wishes that he didn't know him  _quite_  so well.

Predictably, He bombards Ritsu with nonstop questions as they walk towards their apartment.

 _'Separate apartments,'_ he has to sharply remind himself. But the word  _Home_  has already planted itself in his head. It sounds disgustingly appropriate.

He looks at his and Takano's linked hands.

He doesn't honestly mind it.

* * *

Onodera Ritsu isn't sure about a lot of things.

Hes not sure about his future, he's not sure if he  _really_  has a fiance, and he's not sure he can make it as a proper manga editor.

But as he walks home with Takano, the older man demanding more information about  _"the first time",_ he is sure of two things.

One is that he is, against  _all_  of his better judgement, irrevocably in love with Masamune Takano.

And two, is that after years of being ignored and brushed off and lost to the wind, his voice has finally,  _finally_  been heard.

It's one of the most wonderful feelings He's ever experienced.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The difference between Oda, and Onodera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this. I don't know what happened or where this came from but here have some boys being idiots.

* * *

Ritsu Oda. Ritsu Onodera. One in the same, and yet so achingly different.

Masamune Takano loved Ritsu Oda.

Ritsu Oda, the shy, clumsy kid who could barely order a damn sandwich without having a heart attack. The kid who struggled to look him in the eyes, or open his mouth when Masamune kissed him, but in the same breath, could utter such genuine, heartfelt confessions.

But he also loved Ritsu Onodera.

The stubborn, prickly workaholic who refused to confess his feelings.The man who was determined to a fault, and didn't seem to know the meaning of the word “limit”. The man who pushed him away again and again, but always came back to him in the end.

Yeah, Oda and Onodera were pretty different.

“Takano, please stop slacking and give me your manuscript. You are the only one who hasn't submitted theirs yet.” Ritsu huffs in annoyance.

Effectively distracted from his idle thoughts, Masamune looks up to stare at his unamused subordinate.

While he can honestly say that he is very much in love with the man in front of him, there's no denying that he had been quite infatuated with the blushing, lovestruck idiot Ritsu had been in high school as well.

“Stop staring, you creep! And are you even listening to me," Ritsu demands, outraged.

Masamune frowns. “When did you get bossy," he asks, decidedly displeased  

Not phased in the slightest, Ritsu glares evenly. “When you made it part of my job to collect everyone's work,” he replies flatly.

Damn, he's right  Masamune sighs. “You were so much nicer and cuter before," he says wistfully, smirking a bit as he hears Ritsu sputter.

“I'm sorry sir, but I'm not exactly sure what it is that you're referring to,” Ritsu insists stiffly, not meeting Masamune's gaze.

He makes it so _easy._ “I'm talking about high school of course, when we-"

“Takano!” Ritsu shouts, face beet red.

“What,” Masamune asks, faux innocently.

“I would appreciate it if you didn't talk about unnecessary things during work.” Ritsu’s voice is firm, but _just_ high pitched enough to give away his nervousness.

It's cute, so Masamune decides to let Ritsu off the hook. For now at least. “Fine fine.” He sighs. “I'll have the manuscript by the end of the end of the day.” He promises.

Ritsu blinks. “Good... Thank you,” He says slowly, confused by the man’s uncharacteristic compliance.

Masamune grunts and waves him away.

Ritsu turns to make his way back to his chair, but freezes when he hears a violent sneeze.

“Damn. How long does it take to get over a stupid cold?” Masamune sniffs absently.

Ritsu turns back around, eyebrows raised in suspicion. “Are you still sick?” he asks incredulously.

Masamune shrugs. “How the hell should I know?”

“You idiot,” Ritsu declares hotly. “Go home! You'll just make yourself even worse.”

Masamune raises an eyebrow. “What's this? Are you worried about me, Onodera?”

“Of course not!”

Masamune smirks at the all too quick denial

“It would just be a pain for me if you were to go passing out here, and I ended up having to drag you home or something.”

It's a logical explanation, and if Masamune hadn't known any better, he might have believed it. But the fact that Ritsu won't look him in the eyes tells him all he needs to know.

“Just go home. Taking one day off won't kill you, you know?” Ritsu’s face is a noticeable red. He clenches his fist. “And besides, didn't I already say to tell me when you're sick?”

Masamune's smirk softens into a fond smile at that, and he stands. Walking until he ends up in front of Ritsu, he ruffles the younger editors hair. “Alright, there's no need to worry so much. I promise I'll go straight home," he says teasingly.

“I never said I was worried, you jerk!” Ritsu knocks Masamune's hand away, face red in anger and embarrassment.

Snickering openly now, Masamune makes to exit the department. But he stops as Ritsu calls after him.

“Hey, be careful. Don't pass out on the train. I'll pick up some soup and medicine on the way home.” Ritsu speaks to the floor; his face practically in flames.

In that moment, he looks so much like _Oda_ again that it hurts.

The image strikes Masamune with a powerful wave of nostalgia, and he can't help but return to Ritsu’s side to pull him into a kiss.

“Takano you idiot, we're at work!”

Cheerfully ignoring any and all of Ritsu’s protests, Masamune waves at him over his shoulder as he escapes the building.

He touches a hand to the corner of his mouth, and is unsurprised to find himself smiling.  _‘Huh. Maybe he and Oda are more alike than I thought.’_

Yes, Ritsu Onodera had changed very much from the shy, stuttering mess he had been in high school, but Masamune was glad to note that there is still a bit of Oda left after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ nothing. Btw this *may* become a little drabble series. Maybe. I am bad at commitment so we'll see.
> 
> Update: okay, so I accidently deleted this earlier. After having a minor panic attack, the chapters are back now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a drunken Ritsu accidently reveals just s bit more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this. I don't know what happened or where this came from but here have some boys being idiots.

Masamune Takano is amused.

Really, the first time it had happened he thought it was a fluke. After all, who in their right mind would have ever guessed that Ritsu Onodera, self declared workaholic, could possibly be such an unrefined drunk?

"Whaddare you smirking at, jerk!?" Ritsu's words are hopelessly slurred as he glares at his boss pathetically.

Masamune doesn't trust himself not to laugh if he attempts to answer his drunken boyfriend, so he merely shakes his head; hiding a smile behind his hand.

The young editors drunken behavior had been so unexpected that Masamune felt as if it was his civic duty to perform an experiment.

' _For science,"_ he reasoned.

It had yielded quite entertaining results, and along the way, he had made one very important discovery.

"Are you laffin' at me," Ritsu demands, face flushed and expression pouting.

Ritsu Onodera is _very_ fond of drinking.

When Ritsu fails to receive a reply he scowls, and shoves Masamune's shoulder with all of his intoxicated might. Needless to say, it is not very effective.

Masamune can't hold back a snort, which soon grows into full on laughter at the outraged expression on his boyfriend's face.

"I knew it!" Ritsu points at him accusingly. "Stop laffin' at me, you jerk!"

Choosing to ignore him, Masamune reaches out to touch Ritsu's hair, ruffling it into an even more disheveled state than it normally is. He takes great pleasure in the resulting shrieks of protest. "You know, you're adorable when you're drunk," he said fondly, ceasing his attack on Ritsu's hair

The young editor simply hisses. "You liar! You said that I was an obnoxious and whiny drunk. Make up your mind!" He fruitlessly tries to fix his wrecked hair.

"Wow," Masamune deadpans. "I'm honestly impressed. You remember that little comment, but you forgot about in high school when we-"

"Shut up!" Ritsu shrieks, slapping his hand over the older man's mouth. His face suddenly flushes brighter after realizing that he has crawled into Masamune's lap in order to silence the man's impending, most likely vulgar comment.

Masamune wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, knowing that it will provoke an entertaining reaction. True to form, Ritsu lets out a short squeak, and scrambles back to his original position sitting beside his boss.

"Besides," Ritsu begins, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the floor. "I always remember everything you say, no matter what it is, asshole!" He raises his head to stare defiantly at Masamune.

The shock of Ritsu's honest words hits Masamune like a shot to the heart, and he grabs the young editor's hands in his own tightly.

"H-hey! What do you think you're doing," Ritsu demands, trying to pull away from his boss to no avail.

"What, exactly, did you just say," Masamune asks slowly, forcing his voice to sound calm. Ritsu stops struggling as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"I called you an asshole?"

"No, before that."

"I said I always remembered whatever you say?"

Masamune lets those words wash over him once again.

Understanding finally slaps Ritsu in the face. "That's not what I meant, so don't take it the wrong way," he insists, finally managing to free himself and trying to make a break for the door.

Having already foreseen this, Masamune blocks his path. "And just how the hell am I supposed to take that any other way, you idiot!"

"I don't care! Just don't think it means I have feelings for you or anything. I'm going home," Ritsu declares, reaching for the doorknob.

"Ritsu. We have been dating for six months, and living together for three. Where  _exactly_ do you think you're going," Masamune asks, very close to losing his patience.

Ritsu blinks in confusion, which quickly turns to horror. "Say  _what!?"_ he shouts, and takes a step back in shock. Unfortunately, a stray piece of paper from an old manuscript finds it's way underneath his feet, and he falls down. Hard.

Masamune sighs heavily. "Why are you like this?"

Dazed from the pain, Ritsu lets out a groan, then a hiccup.

Masamune slaps his palm to his forehead. "Dammit, I forgot you were drunk. Are you okay," he asks, exasperatedly concerned.

Ritsu simply nods.

Masamune releases another long-suffering exhale. "Come on, dummy. It's time to get you to bed." He picks Ritsu up and throws him over his shoulder.

Ritsu lets out a grumble of protest, but otherwise doesn't complain. He only speaks again when he's placed on the bed and tucked in. "Don't even think about trying any funny business, jerk," he warns.

"Yeah yeah I know. Besides, there's no point if you don't remember it tomorrow, is there?" Masamune yawns.

"That's your only reason?" Ritsu wishes he could say he was surprised.

"Yup. Goodnight Ritsu."

"Goodnight."

There is silence for a bit.

"Ritsu?"

"Yes?"

"I know I said I wouldn't try anything tonight, but in the morning, all bets are off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ nothing. Btw this *may* become a little drabble series. Maybe. I am bad at commitment so we'll see.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long overdue apology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I accidently deleted this entire fic earlier. I think I had a not so minor panic attack but I got all of the chapters reposted and I'm all good now. In other news, this chapter decided to say "screw you" when i tried to make it end, and long story short, it's like twice as long as all the other ones. I don't know what happened. Anyway, enjoy! I'm gonna go cry.

The question itself is heartbreakingly innocent, and so full of  _hope_  that it hurts.

_"Senpai, do you… feel anything for me?"_

As usual, Ritsu is looking down. But for once, his words aren't stuttered.

Masamune can't even take a moment to appreciate this fact though, because he's too distracted thinking about how best to  _gently_ explain to Ritsu that he is a dumbass.  _'Yes!' He thinks desperately. 'God, how could you even ask me something like that, idiot? I'm pretty sure that I've never loved anyone more than you."_

He inhales slightly, preparing himself to say the words so desperate to escape. They're meant to reassure. But that's not what happens.

What happens instead is this: Masamune Takano opens his mouth to soothe Ritsu's heart.

He ends up breaking it instead.

* * *

Masamune shoots up in bed. He puts a hand over his chest, where his heart is pounding heavily. 

_'What the hell was that?'_

He's never had that dream before, but something about it makes his stomach twist and his chest ache. A horrifying possibility strikes him, then, that _prays_ isn't true. Then again, Ritsu had said he had laughed...

_'Was that why we broke up?'_

Up until that point, he honestly had not remembered the exact details of their breakup. Except, of course, for being drop kicked in the face for no apparent reason. That, he remembered in  _excruciating_ detail. But if that dream, no,  _nightmare_ had any truth to it...

 _'Wow.'_ Masamune stares at the ceiling in contemplation.  _'I am an asshole.'_ He looks to his right, where the very object of his thoughts is dozing obliviously.  _'No wonder he drop-kicked me._ I  _want to drop-kick me.'_

Ritsu's eyes are closed, and his breathing is deep and even. He's snoring just a little, and like everything else about him, Masamune finds it adorable. He's also not wearing a shirt, or much of anything, to Masamune's delight, as clothes had become...  _ahem, bothersome,_ earlier.

Asleep and unguarded for once, Ritsu seems like an angel. He looks so at peace, and so uncharacteristically vulnerable.

 _'I almost ruined this.'_ Something in Masamune's heart fills until it hurts.  _'I_  did  _ruin it. I almost lost him forever.'_ As usual when it concerns Ritsu, Masamune is not in control of his actions as he pulls the sleeping man to his chest in a firm embrace.  _'I hurt him. And cost us both ten years of unnecessary suffering.'_ the thought stings like acid.

A questioning groan pierces the air, signalling that Ritsu is awake.

Masamune freezes.

"Takano?"

Well  _shit,_ he wasn't supposed to wake up.

"Takano, hey, is something wrong?"

The concern in Ritsu's voice makes Masamune smile, and he relaxes slightly.  _'To hell with it,'_ he thinks, tightening his grip around the younger man.  _'This has been a long time coming anyways.'_

"Takano, you're kind of freaking me out here, you know?" Ritsu twists his neck around to look at Masamune's face.

Sensing an opportunity to tease, Masamune smirks. "Sorry, you just looked so peaceful," he says, leaning in so that he can whisper in Ritsu's ear. "It really made me want to mess you up."

A  _noise_ escapes Ritsu's throat, and his face explodes into flames, but otherwise there is no outward reaction.

_'Damn, I must be losing my touch.'_

"Takano." Ritsu's voice is firm. "Please tell me that you did not wake me up at whatever the hell time it is because you want sex."

Pointedly, Masamune says nothing. 

"Oh my god, I hate you."

Masamune chuckles and presses a kiss to Ritsu's head. "Relax, why don't you. I'm just kidding." He rests his chin on the shoulder of the grumbling man. "Besides, if that had been why I woke you up, we wouldn't be talking right now, would we?"

Ritsu sputters. "Shameless jerk!"

Masamune shrugs. What? It's true.

"Well, if there's not  _any_ reason for you waking me up at this unholy hour," Ritsu glares pointedly, "I'm going back to bed."

Masamune sighs. Looks like it's time to be serious now. "Actually, there was something."

Ritsu raises an eyebrow, and stares expectantly.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm an asshole."

Ritsu blinks once.

Twice.

"Okay? I already knew that. Is there any particular reason you felt the need to point it out in the middle of the night?"

Ritsu's bluntness startles a laugh out of Masamune. "Alright, I walked into that one."

Ritsu sticks his tongue out at him.

God, he loves this man. How could he have hurt somebody so precious to him? 

That's it; Masamune needs to apologize. This is long overdue. "It's just…" he hesitates. Too late, he remembers that apologizing is not one of his strengths. 

Observant as always, Ritsu frowns. Slowly, he reaches out to grab Masamune's hand. "What? What is it?" The concern in his voice goes straight to Masamune's heart.

It's official. Masamune does  _not_ deserve him.

'It's nothing, really. I just had a weird dream, and it made me realize some things." He squeezes Ritsu's hand back tightly.

He doesn't deserve him, but like hell is he ever letting him go again.

"Like how I never really apologized, did I?" He runs his thumb across Ritsu's knuckles.

"Huh?" Ritsu furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

Masamune laughs wryly. A walking contradiction as always, Risu is just as oblivious as he is observant. "For back then. Ten years ago," he clarifies gently.

Ritsu's breath hitches.

"Back then, I broke your heart. And I never even said I was sorry."

"W-what are you talking about?" Ritsu's voice is high pitched and panicked. His eyes are wildy scanning the room, looking desperately at anything but Masamune. "Besides, that's ancient history. You don't need to-"

"Ritsu, I love you."

Ritsu's rambling finally dies out, and he, very attractively, gapes like a fish for a few moments.

"That's what I should have said when you asked if I loved you. It's what I was  _going_ to say but," Masamune lifts the hand that not holding Ritsu's up to cover his face. "That  _clearly_ did not happen."

"Taka-"

"It's fine. I know now that I messed up pretty bad, then. So, while it may have taken me ten years, I just wanted to finally answer you properly." Masamune shifts until he is fully facing Ritsu. He takes both of his hands and interlaces their fingers.

The younger man's eyes are wide in amazement, and Masamune loves it, loves  _him,_ painfully.

"Yes, Ritsu, I  _do_ have feelings for you." He kisses the backs of both of Ritsu's hands.

The strangled hitch it brings Ritsu's throat is music to Masamune's ears.

" _Very_ strong feelings."

A kiss on his forehead.

"You drive me crazy, you know?" He leans in, lips  _just_ touching Ritsu's own. "And I'm pretty sure that I've never loved anyone more than-"

"Okay, that's enough!"

Masamune blinks, and notes with displeasure that Ritsu's face is now much too far away.

Ritsu's cheeks are burning fiercely, and his gaze is stubbornly locked on their joined hands.

Masamune watches with avid interest as Ritsu takes a deep breath, and squares his shoulders.

"Look, it's true, what happened back then really messed me up." He tears his gaze upwards to look into Masamune's eyes, and there's a challenge in them. "But don't you dare try to put all of the blame on yourself!"

Masamune's eyebrows raise in shock.

"After all, It was partly my fault, and I know that I hurt you too. So can't we just, I don't know," Ritsu pauses, struggling to find the proper words.

Masamune absently wonders how the hell he managed to live without this man for ten years.

"How about, let's just, call it even?" Ritsu smiles. It's weary, but also hopeful.

Masamune thinks it's beautiful.

A weight worth ten years of heartbreak is lifted from his shoulders. Masamune exhales, long and deep. "How can you be so amazing? I really don't deserve you." He leans forward so that his forehead is resting in the crook of Ritsu's neck. "Thank you, Ritsu."

"S-shut up and stop saying embarrassing things," Ritsu complains.

It would be more convincing if Masamune couldn't feel the heat of his blush. "Alright, alright, I'll stop for now," he relents. "But it's your own fault. Can't you see what time it is? You should know better than to keep your boss up this late."

Ritsu gasps, outraged. "You're the one who woke me up!"

"Did I? That doesn't seem right."

Ritsu clenches his teeth, and sends a quick prayer for patience. "I am going to bed. If you wake me up again before eight tomorrow, I will not be held responsible for my actions." he promises vehemently.

Masamune snorts at the threat. "Right. Whatever you say."

Ritsu grumbles at the patronizing tone, and let's out a huge yawn.

Masamune feels a slight twinge of guilt. "Wow, it really is late. Come here." He opens his arms. The lack of hesitation Ritsu displays in accepting his offer warms his heart greatly. "Sorry for waking you up. I really didn't mean to."

Ritsu yawns again. "It's okay. I'm glad you told me. I've already said that it's a pain for me if you don't tell me what's bothering you," he says, his voice fading quickly.

Masamune smiles fondly.

"And thanks for apologising. You really didn't have to, but it means a lot to me that you did."

His face feels suspiciously warm against Masamune's chest.

"Goodnight, Takano." Ritsu's voice is more of a sigh, and he is out like a light in seconds.

Masamune huffs out a laugh, and pulls Ritsu closer. He doesn't know  _what_ he could have possibly done to earn Ritsu's forgiveness, but so far all evidence is pointing towards being a saint in a previous life.

 _'You are far,_ far  _too good for me.'_

"Goodnight, Ritsu. I love you."

He doesn't receive a response, but he could swear that Ritsu smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Masamune: so what you're saying is I broke your heart, you broke my face, and now we're even?
> 
> Ritsu: yeah pretty much
> 
> Masamune: god I love you


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts and Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what this is. Enjoy! And I apologize in advance.

 Ritsu Onodera is confused.

Not that this is anything unusual. He’s confused about a lot of things, if he's being honest. But he doesn't have the time to make a list right now. Maybe later.

Right now, though, he knows _exactly_ what's causing his confusion, and he doesn't like it one bit. His eyes narrow in the direction of one Masamune Takano. This involves…

He shudders.

_Feelings._

At the moment, Masamune isn't doing anything out of the ordinary. He's hard at work, doing his job as chief editor, just like always. By which of course, Ritsu means that he is currently locked in a heated shouting match with Yokozawa.

Like he said, nothing out of the ordinary.  _‘So why am I distracting myself with these ridiculous thoughts?’_

Masamune says something snarky, finally managing to make Yokozawa angry enough to leave, much to Ritsu’s relief. The man may have somewhat accepted him, but that doesn't mean Ritsu feels any less wary of him. It's a work in progress.

Masamune sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Ritsu does _not_ find the action endearing. At all. (Okay, fine; maybe a little.)  _‘This is all his fault.’_ The man is confusion in its true form.

As if hearing his thoughts, at that exact moment, Masamune straightens his neck, and frowns directly at Ritsu.

Ritsu cringes.

“Oi, Onodera!”

_Crap!_

_"_ Y-yes sir?”

“Stop ogling me on company time and get back to work. You can stare at me all you want later.” Masamune smirks.

Ritsu wants to scream. “Huh!? I was not-!”

His protests are drowned out by Kisa’s wild laughter and Hatori’s quieter chuckles. Mino just smiles. That guy is weird.

 _‘Jackass!’_ Ritsu glares fiercely at his boyfriend. _‘Well at least there's one thing I'm not confused about anymore: I hate him!’_

It sounds half-assed. Even to him.

* * *

_'Okay, that's it!’_

This is where Ritsu draws the line.

He and Masamune are finally home,, relaxing on the couch after a ridiculously long day. Masamune is giving one of his manuscripts a final once over, and Ritsu is _trying_ to read a book.

He's trying, but He. _Can't. Focus._ And when something is able to prevent _Ritsu Onodera_ from enjoying a good book, it's a sign that something is _very_ wrong in the universe.

He has to put a stop to this. His reading time is at stake!

He hides his face behind the book he was _not_ reading. ”Hey, Ma-Masamune?” He tries to sound casual, but his hands are shaking like a leaf.

“Hmm?” If he noticed Ritsu’s rare use of his first name, he doesn't show it.

Ritsu is both grateful and slightly disappointed. “Can I,” he clears his throat. “Can I ask you a question?”

“That depends, I guess. Does it have anything to do with why you've been acting even weirder than normal all day?” Masamune doesn't miss a beat.

_‘He noticed!’_

“Oh.” Ritsu laughs nervously. “You noticed that, did you?” he pretends to turn a page in his book, and squeaks when we nearly rips it.

“Of course I did, Idiot.” Masamune sighs, sounding almost bored.

Ritsu desperately wishes he knew what expression the man was making right now. But that would mean lowering his book shield, and he _really_ doesn't want to do that.

Masamune sighs again, this time sounding exasperated. “It pains me to say this, but you don't usually stare at me so much in public. _Especially_ at work.”

There's the sound of a body shifting closer, but Ritsu still forces his eyes to stay glued to the pages in front of him. 

“And calling me _Masamune?_ Yeah, something's definitely not right.”

 _‘_ That's _what gave me away!’_ Ritsu glares at the words in his book.

“So come on, spit it out. Before I start to seriously think that somebody kidnapped my boyfriend and replaced him with a very realistic clone." Masamune sounds almost annoyed, but Ritsu can detect the genuine concern underneath his tone.

_‘Is he… worried about me?’_

The thought warms Ritsu’s cheeks. “It's stupid," he warns.

Masamune huffs. “Nothing that bothers you will ever be stupid to me."

Ritsu blanches. _‘How can he say things like that so casually!?’_

A hand appears, landing on top of his book and pulling it from his grip. “Stop hiding.” Masamune's tone is firm, but the way he cups Ritsu’s face, and slowly guides it so that they finally make eye contact, is achingly gentle. “Talk to me, Ritsu.”

Well, Ritsu's never been able to resist him before. It doesn't look like he's going to start now. He just hopes he doesn't embarrass himself too much because of this. "It's just…” he hates how small his voice suddenly becomes. “We're… going out? Right?”

The words taste bitter, and they wash through him with a sickening wave of déjà vu. They way Masamune's eyes widen tells him that the other man feels it too.

It's hard to push away the memories of poorly timed laughs and heartbreak.

“Ritsu...” Masamune's voice sounds pained.

“No, I wasn't going to ask if you... feel anything for me.” Ritsu forces himself back to the present. “I- I know that you do.” he winces at the stutter.

Masamune nods, but stays silent, quietly urging him to continue.

“I just, don't understand... _why,_  I guess." Ritsu vaguely wishes he could hide behind his book again.

“Why, what,” Masamune encourages softly.

Ritsu flinches. “I mean,” he stares stubbornly at his feet. “Why _me?”_

Masamune furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

It feels like a dam bursts somewhere inside Ritsu’s chest.

“You could have anyone you wanted. Why would you pick a jaded workaholic who can barely tell you he loves you?”

Masamune inhales sharply.

Now that Ritsu’s started though, it's hard to stop the words forcing themselves out of his throat like vomit. “You do so much for me, and I don't deserve any of it! I'm a mess!" His eyes burn. “I'm stubborn, I always push you away, and I've got way too many trust issues. Not to mention the fact that my parents are trying to force me into an arranged marriage! How can you put up with me?!” His chest is heaving.

“Hey, Ritsu!” Masamune's eyes are wide. “Please, I need you to take a deep breath-"

“And even back in high school!” Ritsu rambles on, despite Masamune's protests. “You could have gone out with anyone. And you picked the creepy first year stalker that could barely look at you? I don't get it.” He laughs. It sounds choked and pitiful, even to his own ears.

Something warm and wet slides down his cheeks. He blinks a few times in confusion, and finds his vision to be strangely blurry as well.

Oh, he's crying.

“Ritsu…” Masamune looks horrified.

 _‘Now look what you've done.’_ Ritsu’s lungs burn. ' _You just had to open your big mouth and say all those useless things, didn't you?’_

“I…” Ritsu reaches up to furiously wipe the tears away from his face. “I'm sorry. You didn't need to hear all of that.”

_‘He must hate me now. I can't blame him. I'm pathetic.’_

“Told you I was a mess. God, I'm annoying, aren't I?” His eyes still sting, and his face is wet, but he forces a smile so fake his teeth hurt. “I-" his voice breaks.  “I understand if you don't want me any-"

“Don't you dare finish that sentence.”

“W-what?”

The _anger_ in Masamune's voice is enough to shock the artificial smile away.

“Ritsu, you… how can you _say_ those things about yourself?”

“Because they're true?”

“No they're not!” Masamune growls. He looks hurt. As if Ritsu had just slapped him across the face.

Ritsu’s eyes widen.

“Listen to me.” Masamune grabs both of his shoulders. His grip is strong, but not painful.  _“I love you,_ Ritsu Onodera. _All_ of you. The good, the bad, and everything in between."

Ritsu’s cheeks burn, and a strangled sob escapes his throat.

"I have for more than ten years now, and that won't  _ever_ change," Masamune promises solemnly. "You asked, “why you"? Idiot. It's because for me, there has never been anyone _but_ you.”

The raw _adoration_ in his gaze makes Ritsu want to cry again.  _‘He's… telling the truth.’_ Ritsu thinks, awestruck.

Masamune pulls him in closer, and kisses Ritsu with a gentle fierceness.

Ritsu quickly melts into it, wrapping his arms around Masamune and kissing back desperately. ' _I hope you know that there's never been anyone but you for me, too.'_ When they seperate, Ritsu feels as if he can breathe properly again.

“So don’t don’t ever say things like that about yourself again," Masamune commands. “Nobody's allowed to insult the guy I love. Even if it's you.”

Ritsu laughs weakly. “Okay.” Hw droops slightly, suddenly exhausted. 

"Good. Now come here."

Ritsu squeaks when Masamune lays down on the couch, pulling Ritsu on top of him. For once though, Instead of protesting, hi just relaxes and rests his head on Masamune's chest.

Masamune happily brings his hand up to comb through his boyfriend's soft hair with his fingers.

Ritsu sighs in contentment. _‘This is nice,’_ he absently muses. He doesn't usually appreciate being touched by other people, but Masamune has always been the exception to that rule. 

After a while, Masamune breaks the silence. “I loved you in high school, you know? When my life was falling apart, there was nothing good left in it except for you." He brings a hand up to cup Ritsu’s face. “And I love you now. So much more than I ever thought I would.”

Ritsu’s breath hitches.

“I love _everything_ about you. Your stubbornness, your shyness, and your insecurities. Sorry, but you're stuck with me.”

Fresh tears roll down Ritsu’s cheeks, but this time they're from happiness.  _‘I love this man.’_

“Even though I'm a ridiculous mess? Ritsu coughs a laugh, wiping his eyes.

“Yeah.” Masamune smiles as he gently helps wipe the tears away. “You're a mess. But you're _my_ mess.”

Ritsu scoffs.

Masamune kisses the top of his head. “I love you. And I know that you know that already, but I'm going to start saying it a lot now. So deal with it.” Masamune smiles cockily.

Another sob, but this one sounds just a bit more like a laugh. “Takano, you jerk. How can you even make a confession sound like an insult.” Ritsu complains, but his smile is genuine now.

“It's part of my charm.”

Ritsu snorts. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. I can't believe I put up with you.”

Laughing, Masamune resumes his earlier action of combing his boyfriend's hair with his fingers. “I can't either. I'm the worst.” He smiles. “I love you, Ritsu. And don't forget it.”

“I won't. And, I love you too… Masamune.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Masamune Takano is a jealous idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't judge me I needed more jealous Takano in my life. Tbh I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I'm more of the type to get sad and insecure when I'm jealous, so I hope I was able to do this justice.

Masamune Takano is about three seconds away from breaking something.

Preferably this guy's nose.

“So, _you're_ Onodera? I've got to say, you're cuter than I thought you'd be.” The man's tone is smug, and he is standing _way_ too close to Ritsu.

Masamune frowns. He would like to state that, for the record, he does not usually make a habit of punching strangers.

“Um, I'm sorry, but have we met before,” Ritsu questions, eyes drawn in confusion.

Masamune's eye twitches as the man steps even _more_ into his boyfriend's personal space. He doesn't _usually_ punch strangers, but that's about to change _very_ soon if this idiot doesn't get away from the love of his life _right now._ _‘Dammit. I was actually in a good mood today for once.’_

“Oh, no. I just saw the book that you were reading earlier. I'm a big fan of the author.” The man’s words are innocent enough, but there's a predatory glint in his eyes.

 _‘Liar.’_ Masamune glares. He hopes that Ritsu will be able to sense the man’s untrustworthiness as well.  

Ritsu's eyes widen. “Oh, really," he asks excitedly.

No such luck.

Masamune mentally groans. ‘ _I_ _'m dating an idiot.’_

“Yeah.” The man’s sharp smile widens. “I was actually hoping you would grab a drink with me and we could talk about it.”

Ritsu, bless his soul, smiles brightly.

 _‘You have_ got _to be kidding me.’_

He loves Ritsu. Really, he does. But his boyfriend is denser than a sack of rocks. “Thanks, but I'm afraid he's going to have to pass.” Masamune says coldly.

The man _finally_ tears his gaze away from Ritsu long enough to acknowledge Masamune's presence. “Yeah, I wasn't really asking _you._ ” The plastic smile on his face has been replaced with a scowl.

Masamune scowls right back.

“Takano!” Ritsu protests. “Don't make decisions for me."

The man’s slimy smile is back. “Yeah, what Onodera said.” He actually has the _audacity_ to touch Ritsu, wrapping an arm around the young editor's shoulders and pulling him closer in a manner that is _far_ too friendly.

_Strike one._

Ritsu gasps, scrunching his eyebrows in bewilderment.

Masamune sees red.  _‘Let go of him.’_

“You may be his boss, but you don't mind if I borrow him for some… _fun_ right?” The _suggestiveness_ dripping from the man's sets something hotchurning in Masamune's stomach.

_Strike two._

_‘This guy clearly has a death wish.’_

As if finally noticing the precarious position he's in, apprehension dawns in Ritsu’s eyes, and he looks at Masamune pleadingly.

 _‘Ah. Look who finally decided to join the party.’_ Masamune mentally berates his boyfriend, but his fist is already clenched. Because Ritsu _never_ asks for help. And like hell is Masamune going to let _this_ jackass be the one to make him start.

_He's going down._

“You're making him uncomfortable. I suggest you let him go.”

Ritsu shivers at the venom in his voice.

But the asshole who's about to have a broken face just scoffs. “You really can't take a hint, can you. Get lost.”

Well, Masamune _tried_ to warn him.

_Strike three. You're out._

The sound of the creep’s head painfully meeting the wall is _divine _.__ His face twists unattractively in surprise as Masamune drives his fist into his cheek, and he lets out a high pitched yelp of pain.

It's _almost_ as satisfying as the beautiful smile of relief and gratitude he receives from Ritsu. Masamune shakes out his hand. It's already sore, and he knows its gonna hurt like _hell_ later.

“Takano! C'mon, you didn't have to hit him _that_ hard, you idiot," Ritsu scolds, but his eyes are concerned as he takes Masamune's reddened hand in his own and assesses the damage.

_‘Definitely worth it.’_

Masamune allows himself a moment to enjoy Ritsu’s fussing.

“What the hell?” The man is protectively holding his hand over his aching cheek, and there's now a glint of fear in his eyes.

Masamune allows himself a moment to enjoy that as well. “It seems like you're the one that can't take a hint.” He grins ferally. “So allow me to spell it out for you.”

_‘He’s mine.’_

Ritsu's gasp as Masamune curls an arm around around his waist and pulls him closer only fuels the fire of his possessiveness.

“What are you- _mph!”_

Masamune presses his lips to Ritsu’s harshly.

Predictably, Ritsu’s eyes widen, and he braces his hands against Masamune's chest, attempting to push him away.

_‘Don't even think about it.’_

Masamune deepens the kiss, brings his uninjured hand up to the back of Ritsu’s head, tangles his fingers in his soft hair, and _tugs._ It's like magic, and he greedily swallows the ridiculously _sinful_ choked moan of surprise that's pulled from the back of Ritsu’s throat.

_God, Ritsu is going to be the death of him._

Finally giving in, Ritsu’s eyes drift closed, and he stops fighting him after that.

 _‘Take that, asshole,'_ he thinks absently.

Reluctantly, and only when his lungs are beginning to burn, Masamune breaks the kiss.

Ritsu gasps for breath, and slowly opens his eyes; desperately trying to regain control of his breathing. 

Masamune notes with pleasure that he looks positively _disheveled,_ with glowing cheeks, bruised lips, and hair a mess. It takes all of his willpower not to pull Ritsu into another kiss, to mess him up even _more,_ but he manages.

_‘Later.’_

It's a promise.

“What the hell...” a voice whispers in bewilderment.

Masamune groans, frowning in distaste. He'd nearly forgotten that they had an audience.  _‘Ugh. Can't this guy just go crawl in a hole?’_

He huffs in annoyance. “In case that still wasn't enough for you, I'll tell you point blank: We’re dating. Now fuck off.”

The other man flinches at the iciness in his tone, and takes off running.  

Masamune smirks as the man disappears from sight.  _‘Finally.’_

A light tug on his sleeve draws Masamune's attention back to his boyfriend.

“Um…” Ritsu’s voice is hoarse, and his eyes are still dazed.

The combination is not good for Masamune's heart.

“Thank- thank you. For doing that. I didn't think he would…” Ritsu trails off, staring at his feet.

Yet another blow to his heart.

_‘Dammit. How is it possible for a grown man to be so cute?’_

The world may never know.

Masamune smirks, and places his hand on the small of Ritsu's back. “Of course. Anything for you, Ritsu. C'mon, let's go home."

“Okay.” Ritsu says. His expression is starstruck.

_‘He’s too cute for his own good.’_

Speaking of which…

“And when we get home, you and I are going to have a little _discussion_ about trusting people too easily." Masamune smiles just a _bit_ sadistically.

Ritsu pales.

“Right…”

He has a _bad_ feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶e̶n̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶.̶


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, relating to a character and projecting MY issues onto them? 
> 
> It's more likely than you think.
> 
> Fun fact, I named Takano's father Hebi, because Google told me it means Snake. :)
> 
> P.s: Happy Easter!!!

You see them all the time. In movies and on TV; they're nearly impossible to escape.

Families, that is.  _Perfect_ families. With a successful and handsome father, a beautiful stay at home mother, and probably a golden retriever somewhere in there. 

 _‘Hah. What a load of crap.’_ Masamune squints suspiciously at the envelope he's currently holding, making sure he hasn't misread it or something.  _‘Maybe it’s time for new glasses.’_ But despite his unreliable vision, the name printed crisply on the front does not magically change.

_Kotoko Saga._

His mother.

Masamune is.. not really on speaking terms with his parents, to put it lightly. He supposes that he should feel some remorse about that.

He doesn't.

Yeah, sure, their divorce _kind of_ sent him into a self-destructive spiral at some point or another, but he got over it. Mostly.

Anyways, the point is that he and his parents don't talk much.

 _‘So why the hell did my mother send me a letter?’_ Masamune wonders in bafflement. For a brief, but _oh so tempting_ moment, he imagines tearing the note to shreds.  

Yeah, he's petty. So what? He's earned it.

 _‘Almost ten years without a word, and she can't even be bothered to call.’_ the thought shouldn't depress him. And it doesn't. It _annoys_ him.  _‘I'm going to rip it up, throw it in the trash where it belongs, and go about my day.’_ Masamune decides, fingers tensed precariously around the envelope. He tears it.

Trying to contact him out of the blue with a _note?_ What a joke.

_So why is he opening it?_

Against his will, Masamune opens the letter carefully, and pulls out the piece of paper neatly tucked inside. The strict, typed font inscribed onto the paper is the first thing he notices.  _‘Wow. Not even handwritten.’_ He rolls his eyes. _‘Of course not. That would require actual_ effort _on their part.’_

However it’s the second thing that he notices that makes him stop cold.

“What?” Masamune stares at the deceptively innocent sheet of paper in his hands uncomprehendingly. Just as he suspected, he definitely needs new glasses. 

 _‘This has got to be some kind of sick joke.’_ But no matter how many times he rereads the letter, he can't find the punchline.

“What the _hell?”_

It has to be fake. There's no other explanation.

 _‘It’s real,'_ a nasty little voice inside his head whispers.

The invitation falls out of his hand, floating almost inappropriately gently to the ground.  

Masamune's hands are eerily steady as he draws out his cellphone.

* * *

  _You are formally invited to attend the memorial service of Hebi Takano. He passed away this week-_

* * *

Ritsu is just leaving work when his cell phone rings. It had been a pretty productive day, if he does say so himself, so his mood is light as he takes his phone out of his pocket.

It's Takano. Which is… not surprising. Seriously, does he even use his phone for anything other that calling or texting that guy?

 _‘No, not really,'_ his mind oh-so helpfully replies.

Ritsu sighs. Oh well, he can worry about his lack of a social life later. “Hi! I'm on my way home now. Did you want me to stop and pick up something for dinner?” Ritsu asks, pointedly ignoring the fact that he sounds like some kind of housewife.

There is no response.

“Hello?” Ritsu frowns. “Takano? Are you there?”

Still nothing.

 _‘Weird. Maybe he called me by accident.’_ He shrugs. He's just about to hang up and head for the train station when Masamune finally speaks.

“Ritsu? Sorry, I'm here.”

Ritsu freezes. Bright red flags of alarm wave violently in his mind.

Because Masamune has always had this _way_ of speaking; of projecting confidence and self assurance into his voice at all times. It's something that Ritsu has always admired, and envied, about him. But right now, Masamune sounds… _lost._ Or confused.

_‘Something's wrong.’_

“Hey, is everything okay?” Ritsu doesn't bother trying to keep the concern out of his voice.

Masamune doesn't try brush off Ritsu's worry, which is the final warning bell. “I- I don't know.”

The confession hurts something in Ritsu's chest. “Tell me what happened.” He tries to make his voice soothing.

 _‘Forget the train, it'll take too long. I need to get to him_ now.’ he starts trying to hail a taxi.

“I got a letter today.” Masamune shares cryptically.

“A letter?” Ritsu repeats in confusion, thrown off by the seemingly random announcement. He manages to halt a cab; but in his haste to get in, he accidentally slams the door. Loudly.

_‘Oops.’_

The driver of the cab sends him a dirty look through the rear view mirror.

“Did you just get in a taxi?” Masamune asks curiously. “That's not necessary. Don't waste your money.”

“I didn't.” Ritsu denies hastily, covering the speaker of his phone briefly to mutter an apology and the address of their apartment building to the driver.

“Still such a bad liar.” Masamune's tone is quiet; wistful. It's clear that he didn't mean to be heard.  

Ritsu doesn't comment. After all, he can't argue with him. “So,” he begins, none-too subtly steering the conversation back to the topic at hand. “What about this letter?”

“It was from my mother.” Masamune informs him grimly.  

Ritsu gasps, all too aware of the weight behind that statement.

For most people, getting a letter from their mother would be nothing unusual. For Masamune, who is on less than familiar terms with his parents, it has the same effect as a bombshell being dropped.

“But you haven't spoken in-"

"I know. Trust me, I was more surprised than you are.” Masamune laughs, but its dry and humorless.

The bitter sound pierces Ritsu's heart.  _'Can't this thing go any faster?’_

“I was going to throw it away.” Masamune says matter-of-factly. “But I…” he trails off, inhaling deeply and slowly exhaling.

Ritsu desperately wishes he could spontaneously develop the power to teleport. “But, I'm guessing you didn't,” he says softly, encouraging him to continue.

“No, I didn't.” Masamune agrees. “But I kind of wish I had.”

Ritsu's heart squeezes painfully. “So can I ask what it said,” he asks tentatively.

There's a pause.

“Sorry, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to,” Ritsu promises immediately. His grip tightens around the back of his phone. Thank god, he can see their apartment now.

“It was an invitation.” Masamune finally breaks the silence.

Ritsu notes with worry that all of the emotion is gone from his voice.

“To my father's funeral.”

Ritsu gasps.  _‘Oh my god.’_

“Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too.” Masamune's voice is still toneless.

The taxi _finally_ slows to a stop outside of their building, and Ritsu practically _jumps_ out of the car, hurriedly paying the driver and running inside. “Hold on, I just got here. I'll be at our door in a second,” he promises, racing for the elevators.

“Wow. You got here _that_ fast on the subway?” There’s a hint of teasing in Masamune's tone.

“I took a taxi.” Ritsu is too relieved at the return of emotion to Masamune's voice to be irritated. He nearly trips over his own feet as he sharply rounds the corner, and comes to a dead stop in front of the elevators.

 _‘Are you_ kidding _me right now!?’_

There's a bright sign taped to the elevator doors. Ritsu _swears_ it's mocking him.

It's becoming painfully clear that the universe has decided to be an asshole today.

_Elevators are closed for maintenance. We apologise for the inconvenience._

“ _Shit."_

“What's wrong?” Masamune asks.

_‘Nothing's wrong. Except that we live on the fifteenth floor!’_

Ritsu shakes his head furiously, before he remembers that Masamune can't actually see him right now. “Nothing,” he promises.

Looks like there's only one option left.

He eyes the entrance to the stairs with determination. “Keep talking. I'm almost there.”

* * *

Ritsu would like to declare that fifteen flights of stairs is just… _too many._ _‘Oh my_ god _that was a terrible idea I'm never doing that again!’_

Ritsu sincerely wonders how he's still alive at this moment. His legs and his lungs are _burning._

 _‘How do people exercise for fun?!’_ The very thought exhausts him even more. He hunches over, places his hands on his knees, and desperately tries to just _breathe._

The sound of approaching footsteps causes Ritsu to look up instinctively.  _‘That sounds like…’_

“Did you just _run_ up fifteen flights of stairs?” Masamune's arms are crossed. He sounds almost impressed.

“No!” Ritsu wheezes, and instantly regrets wasting precious oxygen he really needs right now.

Masamune laughs.

The sound is unexpected, and doesn't last long, but it makes Ritsu feel lighter. Suddenly he can breathe a little easier. Well, not literally. He is _so_ out of shape.  _‘Maybe the stairs weren't so bad,’_ he admits. They did help him get to Masamune's side faster, so he's grateful for that at least.

But he's still never doing it again.

“Are you ok-" Ritsu tries to ask, but stops, because _wow,_ breathing is _really_ hard right now _._

“Hey, relax.” Masamune rests his hand on Ritsu's back. “I'm fine.” he says easily.

 _Too_ easily.

“Liar.” Ritsu coughs out, but he notices it's slowly getting easier to breathe. “Nobody would be fine after something like that.”

Masamune sighs.

Ritsu stares at him expectantly.

“Alright, that's fair. Maybe _fine_ isn't the right word.” Masamune smiles dryly, and shrugs. “Let's go with… still processing? It just doesn't really feel real to me yet.”

Ritsu's heart twinges.  _‘I can't even imagine how shocked he must have felt. I mean, finding out a family member died so unexpectedly? It's cruel.’_

For a brief, and _terrible_ moment, Ritsu pictures himself finding an invitation to Masamune's funeral inside his mailbox.

The abruptness.

The confusion.

It's enough to make him feel sick, and he banishes the horrifying thought away roughly. “That's understandable. It'd be more worrying if you weren't shocked,” Ritsu says gently, as he straightens up and takes Masamune's hand in his own.

“I suppose you're right.” Masamune squeezes his hand gratefully. “C'mon, let's go inside. I don't think this kind of conversation is meant to be had in a hallway.”

“Sure.” Ritsu nods, and together, they make their way back into their apartment.

The second that the door closes, Masamune seizes Ritsu and pulls him into a desperate hug.

“Hey!” Ritsu protests purely out of surprise. This is actually nothing out of the ordinary, as Masamune does something like this whenever he and Ritsu enter their apartment together. He will _never_ admit this to anyone, but he's reluctantly come to expect what he affectionately refers to as a ‘Masamune attack’ pretty much daily. He was only caught off guard this time because _really,_ Masamune? Is now _really_ the time?

“Sorry.” Masamune whispers, burying his face in the crook of Ritsu's neck. “I was about to explode.”

_'Oh.’_

“It's okay.” Ritsu reassures him.

 _‘Looks like it's starting to sink in.’_ He wraps his arms around tightly around Masamune's waist, hoping to provide even the smallest bit of comfort.  _‘At least this is something I can do for him.’_

Ritsu doesn't know exactly how long they stay like that. He doesn't really care either. If _anyone_ dares to interrupt them, or causes Masamune to retreat back into his own head, Ritsu vows to hunt them down.

 _“_ Ten years." Masamune speaks, and squeezes Ritsu tighter.

It's honestly getting a little painful, but Ritsu's not about to complain.

“I haven't spoken to either of them for almost _ten years,_ and today I found out my father was dead from a _letter.’_

The hurt and betrayal in his voice stabs Ritsu's heart. He reaches up to gently run his fingers through Masamune's dark hair. He's never met Masamune's parents before, and now he'll definitely never meet his father. But he wishes he could have.

It's really not fair.

He would have at least liked the opportunity to kindly inform the both of them about how their son deserved so much _better_ than them.

‘ _Oh, Masamune…’_

“Uh oh. You're calling me Masamune again?”

Ritsu realizes that he had spoken aloud.

“That means you're worried about me.” Masamune smiles. It's small and weary, sure; but it's genuine.

Ritsu smiles back, and shakes his head. “No, that's not it. I mean, of course I'm worried, but mostly I'm mad for you.”

“Mad for me?” Masamune repeats, an eyebrow quirked in vague amusement.

“Yes.” Ritsu's smile melts away, and he digs his fingers into Masamune's back.

Masamune hums, encouraging him to continue.

Ritsu gladly obliges, but only after making _damn_ sure that he and Masamune are making eye contact. This is something that he _needs_ Masamune to understand. “You deserved better than a half assed invitation in the mail, Masamune,” he says firmly, raising up to the tips of his toes to place a kiss on Masamune's forehead.

_‘The fact that I even have to tell you that makes me sick.’_

“And you deserved better parents. I haven't met your mother yet, but I don't like her,” he says hotly.

Ritsu's declaration surprises a brief laugh out of Masamune.

“I'm serious!” Ritsu claims, but he can feel the corners of his mouth turning up traitorously. “I will never be able to respect someone who couldn't even be bothered to call her son about something so important.”

Masamune is openly laughing now, and the mood of despair that had been present is effectively banished. 

Ritsu is not sad to see it go. “You're laughing,” he points out unnecessarily. His chest warms with relief.

“Of course I am.” Masamune places his head in the crook of Ritsu's neck again. “How could I not? You just made me really happy.”

Ritsu yelps when Masamune kisses his shoulder.

“Thank you.”

Ritsu's cheeks burn at the reverent tone of Masamune's voice.

“I… still don't know how to feel about all of this, but as long as you're with me, I think I'll be okay.”

Masamune smiles.

“You _will_ be okay.” Ritsu smiles back. “Maybe not right now, but we'll get there,” he promises.

Masamune kisses Ritsu's cheek, and finally releases him, but only to take both of his hands in his own.

“I almost forgot, there's something I need to ask you.”

Ritsu tilts his head curiously.

“Will you be my date to my father's funeral?” Masamune asks seriously,  but his eyes are amused.

Ritsu laughs. “Well when you ask like that, how could I say no?” He steps forward to place a chaste kiss on Masamune's lips.

Yeah, Masamune isn't fine right now, and they still need to talk about this more.

And that's okay, Ritsu thinks. Because Masamune is _strong._ Stronger and so much _better_ than his parents.

And Ritsu's not going to stop until he makes _sure_ that Masamune knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession time: something pretty similar to this actually happened to me irl, but instead of a letter, I found out from a Facebook post :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Ritsu, I swear. But he reminds me too much of me so he has to Suffer™
> 
> P.s. I named Ritsu's mother Aia, which can mean "Ruler of the house", and I picked Takao for his father, which means "Nobleman".
> 
> Btw, I got the names from Google so if they're wrong pls don't @ me

Ritsu has always had a rather… complicated relationship with his family, to say the least.

Don't get him wrong, he loves them. But they drive him _insane._

It's always _An-chan_ this, or _Take over Onodera Publishing_ that. It all piles up and up and up until he can't _breathe_ because he's too busy being crushed by the weight of his parents expectations.

But he loves them. Truly, he does.

Which is why he'd really like to know _why the hell they're outside of his apartment right now!_

This is not going to end well.

“Mom, Dad?” Ritsu calls out hesitantly, almost afraid of drawing their attention.

 _‘Maybe it’s not them. Maybe it's just some people who happen to_ look _exactly like my parents.’_

“Ritsu, there you are!” His small hope is crushed when the all too familiar voice of Aia Onodera rings commandingly through the air.

Ritsu cringes.n _‘Yeah, I knew that would be too good to be true.’_

“Um, what are you guys doing here,” he asks, baffled.

His mother tsks. “How rude.” She reprimands him.

 _‘Sure._ They _showed up without any warning whatsoever, but_ I’m _the rude one. That makes sense.’_

Ritsu smiles apologetically. “I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't expect to see you guys here.” He reluctantly approaches his parents, all the while fighting his natural impulse to flee.

Aia’s sour look softens. It seems she's decided to forgive him. How kind of her.

He somehow manages not to jolt away as his mother brushes an airy kiss against his cheek.

“Your father and I recently realized that we have hardly seen you lately, so we thought we'd drop by and pay you a surprise visit.” She beams, as if she has just bestowed some generous gift upon him.

Ritsu forces a smile back. “Well, I'm very surprised. You shouldn't have.”

_‘Really. You shouldn't have.’_

“Oh nonsense.” His mother, as usual, waves him off. “We tried to get An-chan to join us, but the poor girl isn't feeling well lately.”

_‘Neither am I, all of a sudden.’_

Ritsu also does not believe An-chan for one second. He’d spoken to her just the day before, and she had sounded fine.

 _‘She must have lied to them to spare me a little grief,'_ Ritsu concludes. Honestly, god _bless_ An-chan. Even if Ritsu was not currently in a relationship _with a man,_ that girl would still be far too good for him.

“Her _fiance_ should go visit her.” Aia sniffs pointedly, never missing an opportunity to meddle.

Ritsu mentally sighs, and bites back his instinctive denial of being anyone's fiance. It will do him no good here; his mother is far too stubborn. And that's coming from _him._

Aia smiles smugly, apparently taking the lack of Ritsu's usual protests as a victory.

Ritsu resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. He can already tell that he is going to have a _hell_ of a headache soon enough.

“Well, son? Aren't you going to invite us in?” Takao Onodera speaks up, patting Ritsu roughly on the shoulder.

Well _that_ certainly wasn't part of the plan. ‘ _Why aren't they leaving!?’_ Breathing is supposed to be easier than this, right?

They want to come into his apartment. His _shared_ apartment. The apartment he shares with his _boyfriend._

_'No.’_

“Oh, of course! Where are my manners? Please come in.”

Ritsu seals his own fate, and involuntarily leads his parents to his and Masamune's door. He takes longer than strictly necessary in searching for his keys. ‘ _Thank God Takano’s working late today.’_

Aia frowns. “How strange. I could have sworn that you lived next door.”

Ritsu drops the keys.

“Huh. Now that you mention it, I thought so too.” Takao agrees.

 _‘Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!’_ _He is completely and utterly_ screwed.

Ritsu doesn't realize he's stopped breathing until his lungs are burning. He forces himself to take a breath. “N-no, I live here.” By some miracle, his voice sounds normal. He does his best to stop his hands from shaking as he picks up his keys unlocks the door.

Predictably, his mother breezes past him, and surveys the living room with a critical eye.

Ritsu does the same, and notes with horror that one of Masamune's jackets, which are easily two sizes too big to be worn by himself, is hanging on the coat rack.

 _‘Please don't notice, please don't notice,_ please _don't notice.’_ he silently begs.

“Hey, nice place you've got here.” His father sounds more patronizing than sincere. “A little small for my tastes though.” Takao laughs, as if this is all terribly amusing to him.

“How…” Aia pauses, and scrunches her nose. “Cute.”

Ritsu has never heard something so obviously _not_ a compliment in his life. But he's too relieved to be appropriately offended.  _‘They haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary yet.’_ the thought is both comforting and slightly disappointing.

But of course, his mother has only just begun in her interfering. "I just still don't understand, Ritsu,” Aia continues.

Ritsu mentally groans. _‘And, here we go.’_

“This place is… nice.” Aia's features are still contorted with distaste. “But wouldn't you rather live more comfortably? You know, you could always move back home. Your room is still waiting for you,” she says enticingly.

Ritsu nearly gags. The very _thought_ of returning to that place and becoming their puppet once again makes him want to tear off his own skin.

_‘No way in hell.’_

“Oh come now dear.” Takao spares him from having to answer.

Ritsu feels a slight bit of hope, but it's quickly dashed.

“It may not be how we would live, but he's still young. Let him have his fun. He'll come to his senses soon enough.” He winks at Ritsu conspiratorially.

 _Come to his senses._ As if Ritsu is a rebellious child, who is simply pretending to be an adult. It hurts, but it's always been this way. He's used to it. Taking a deep breath, he silently counts to ten. _‘Patience,'_ he reminds himself.

“I'll make some tea,” he says robotically.

 _‘Just one cup. And then they'll leave. Right?’_ For some reasons he doubts it.

Ritsu distracts himself from the impending sense of doom growing painfully in his stomach by switching on the stove and gathering everything he needs for the tea.  _'_ _It's still pretty early,’_ he thinks, after sneaking a glance at the clock on the wall. _‘Takano still shouldn't be home for a little while.’_

Which is _fine._ Because he absolutely _does not_ need or _want_ Masamune to come rescue him like some kind of damsel in distress.

_At all._

So inevitably, at that exact moment, two things happen:

One: Ritsu, in all his absent minded glory, accidentally brushes his hand against the _hot_ tea kettle on the stove. He yelps and pulls it away, but the damage is already done.

And two: The sound of the front door being unlocked can be heard, and one Masamune Takano walks through the doorway.

Ritsu's heart _stops_ , and plummets downward; landing somewhere below his feet.

He's home early. Because _of course_ he is.

_‘Well, fuck.’_

“Hey, I'm home,” Masamune announces, walking into the living room. “Yokozawa pissed me off, so we're going out to eat tonight,” he says, and then freezes when he notices two strangers staring at him in bafflement.

Shit. This is happening.

“W-welcome back,” Ritsu says weakly, running his reddened hand under some cold water. “You're home early.”

“Ritsu, who is this man,” Aia demands, staring at Masamune suspiciously.

Ritsu briefly wonders if he could possibly come up with a lie elaborate enough to get himself out of this.  _‘What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?’_

"Well, uh, you see..."

But he knows the game is up when his mother's eyes drift over to Masamune's jacket hanging oh-so-innocently on the coat rack, and widen in understanding.  _'She knows.’_

An unexpected wave of calm washes over Ritsu. Not having to hide anything anymore, it feels like a great weight has been lifted off his shoulders. His hand still burns, but he'll worry about that later.

Masamune is standing still, looking back and forth between Ritsu and his parents. He locks eyes with Ritsu, and wordlessly asks him what to do.

Ritsu smiles. It's reassuring, knowing that someone has his back. Even if his parents don't.

 _‘Fuck it.’_ This has gone on long enough. Ritsu walks out of the kitchen, and makes his way to stand beside Masamune. He takes a deep breath, and meets his mother's glare head on. It's time for both of them to understand that he is no longer a child, and they can't _control_ him anymore.

“Mom, dad, this is Masamune Takano.” Ritsu takes Masamune's hand and interlaces their fingers firmly.

Masamune's eyes widen, but Ritsu simply tightens his grip. He won't back down. Not anymore. Not from this.

“He is my boss, and we are currently in a relationship.”

The following silence is so _loud_ it makes Ritsu’s ears ring.

_‘My stomach hurts.’_

“Excuse me?” Takao finally speaks. His tone is icy, and it nearly freezes Ritsu’s resolve.

“Exactly how long has this been going on,” Aia demands, outraged.

It was always clear that his parents would most likely not be supportive, but this open _hostility_ is shocking. Ritsu’s hand clenches reflexively. “I've been in love with him since high school,’ he admits shakily.

_‘There’s definitely no going back now.’_

But Masamune squeezes back comfortingly, and he knows he made the right choice.

For just a moment, it feels like everything will be okay. But then that moment ends.

“No.” Aia shakes her head. “This is unacceptable.”

Ritsu swears he can hear something crack in his chest.

“That's enough of this foolishness. I've allowed you to ‘have have your fun’, as your father said, but this has gone too far.” She gestures towards their joined hands in disgust.

Now, Ritsu hears something shatter.

“Pack your things. You're moving back home immediately,” his mother commands.

“What? No,” Ritsu chokes out. Panic makes his blood run cold. He _can't_ go back to that place. And he _won't_ leave Masamune. Not ever again. The very thought makes his chest hurts, and breathing more difficult than it should be.

“Don’t argue with your mother.” Takao sneers. “This behavior will not be tolerated any longer. Do not forget that you are an Onodera. You have responsibilities.”

And that's just it then, isn't it? His parents have never cared about _Ritsu._ They've never seen him as anything more than _the Onodera heir._ It's always been this way. He's used to it.

But it _hurts._

 _‘I don't want to be an Onodera anymore.”_ The thought is intrusive, but no less honest. Ritsu realizes a split second too late that he's spoken it aloud.

The sharp sound of a hand connecting mercilessly with flesh echoes throughout the room.

Ritsu unwillingly lets go of Masamune's hand, and stumbles back a few steps. He brings a hand up to his stinging cheek, and winces. It comes away bloody.

His mother must have caught him with her ring.

His ears are ringing. There have been some close calls in the past, but neither of his parents have ever actually _hit_ him before.

“Hey! Don't touch him,” Masamune shouts angrily, but Ritsu can't bring himself to focus.

“Stay out of this,” Takao says warningly.

“Like hell,” Masamune growls. “Get out.”

Aia bristles at the order. “How dare you! This has nothing to do with you.”

“Bullshit.” Masamune glares dangerously. “You come into _our_ home, insult your son, the man I love, and then _hit_ him? I'd say it has _a lot_ to do with me.”

“Insolent brat.” Aia scoffs.

“Only when it comes to him. Now get _out_ of our house.” Masamune's glare deepens.

Takao starts forward aggressively, but Aia holds her arm out in a halting gesture.

“Fine, we’ll leave now. But make no mistake.” she spares a glance toward Ritsu. “He’ll always be an Onodera through and through. He'll understand what that truly means at some point.”

Ritsu flinches.

“We’ll be going now. No need to show us to the exit.” Aia gracefully spins on her heel, and marches elegantly out the door. Takao semds a final nasty glare over his shoulder at Takano, but follows closely behind.

And just like that, they're gone.

 _Exhaustion_ like he's never known crashes into him, and Ritsu’s knees buckle before he sinks to the floor.  _‘Did that really just happen?’_ It’s hard to believe. With how dazed he feels right now, he wouldn't be surprised to find out this had all been some wild fever dream.

“Hey, Ritsu!” Masamune calls out in alarm.

Ritsu comes back to reality when Masamune kneels to the floor, and cups his uninjured cheek.

“Are you okay? Let me see.” He turns Ritsu's head gently to inspect the cut.

The action makes Ritsu’s eyes burn.  _‘It was worth it.’_ Some warmth fills Ritsu's chest, and he leans into Masamune's palm gratefully.

“Damn, she got you good.” Masamune frowns.

Ritsu hums in response. He doesn't trust himself to speak at the moment.

Masamune frowns at his silence. “Hey, don't let what they said get to you. You're not just an Onodera.”

Ritsu flinches, and looks stubbornly at the floor.

“I'm serious.” Masamune carefully forces Ritsu to make eye contact with him. “You're so much _more_ than that. I can't even begin to explain how special you are. Your parents are idiots if they can't appreciate that you're _Ritsu_.”

Ritsu's eyes widen.

“And for what it's worth, I like Ritsu _a lot_ better,” Masamune declares, kissing Ritsu's forehead.

Ritsu's eyes burn even more, but he refuses to cry. He lets out a breath, but it sounds more like a sob.  _‘How can he always know exactly what I need to hear?’_ It will forever remain a mystery to Ritsu.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Masamune scans him worriedly.

Ritsu holds up the palm he burned earlier silently. It's even more red than it was before, if that's possible.

Masamune hisses. “How on earth did you manage that,” he asks incredulously.

Ritsu shrugs. He honestly kind of just wants to take a nap now, please.

Masamune sighs. “Alright, let's go get the first aid kit.” He stands, and holds out a hand to help Ritsu to his feet.

Ritsu doesn't let go.

He knows that this isn't the last time his parents will cause problems for them. He's willing to bet that they'll call sometime tomorrow with a fake apology full of excuses. And he knows that he'll probably accept their shitty apology, because that's what he does. And then, they'll be right back to where they started.

He's been trying to escape the Onodera name for as long as he can remember. There's no way it will be over any time soon.

He's already exhausted just thinking about it. But he also knows that he has something different know. He has _resolve._ He and Masamune have something _good,_ and he is determined to protect that. He _won't_ let his life be decided by his parents anymore.

Besides, Masamune likes _Ritsu_ better than _Onodera_ anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I feel like I haven't updated in forever, so I want to apologize. But in my defense, college is a bitch. 
> 
> Also I may or may not have been seduced by Hitorijime My Hero for a while... it's just... so good??? And I love it??? But anyways, here, have some fluff!

Masamune Takano is worried.

Well, he’s more than just worried, honestly, but he's not sure how else to describe this tense, agonizing feeling that is currently making him want to tear his hair out. 

Ritsu has been acting… strangely, recently. Which, considering that Ritsu is eccentric on even an average day, is saying _a lot._

Not that Masamune doesn't know exactly what's causing his boyfriend's unusual behavior.  _‘I guess having your overbearing parents show up out of the blue and find out that you're dating a man_ would _be a little difficult.’_

Huh, who knew?

And as if that wasn't enough, both Aia and Takano Onodera’s reactions had been… _unideal,_ to put it lightly.

Masamune's blood still _boils_ when he thinks about how Ritsu's own _mother_ had dared to strike him; and even accidentally made him _bleed._ Suffice to say, Ritsu's reaction is _completely_ justified.

But Masamune is still worried. Because since that day, Ritsu has hardly said a single word. And he hasn't smiled once.

Masamune is about to go _insane._ _‘I have to do something about this.’_ But therein lies the problem. He wants, no, _needs,_ to help Ritsu, but he doesn't have a clue what to do. Why are emotions so _annoying_ , dammit!? Oh well, he’ll have time to hate feelings of any kind later.

“I'm home.”

Masamune jolts at the quiet voice that suddenly speaks from behind him.  _‘How did he do that? I didn't even hear the door open.’_

Masamune is starting to suspect that his boyfriend is actually a ghost. “Hey, you're just in time. Food’s almost done.” he says casually.

Ritsu nods.

Masamune sneakily takes in his boyfriend's appearance.

To put it nicely, Ritsu looks like absolute hell. There are dark bags under his eyes, his skin is paler than normal, and there's still a bandaid on his cheek.

The sight squeezes Masamune's heart. “Did you even sleep at all last night?” Masamune tries to sound firm, but even he can hear the concern in his voice.

Ritsu nods.

 _‘Liar.’_ Does he think Masamune's an idiot?

Don't answer that.

Masamune crosses his arms, and stares at him unwaveringly; one eyebrow raised in disbelief.

Knowing he's been busted, Ritsu shakes his head sheepishly.

Masamune sighs.  _‘Damn. I need to get him into bed.’_ He’s not ashamed to admit that this is hardly an uncommon thought, but this time he can honestly say that he has pure intentions. Really, he does.

Okay fine, he wouldn't usually believe himself either but this is _serious._

“Take a nap,” Masamune urges, taking a step closer so that he can soothingly stroke Ritsu’s ridiculously soft hair.

Ritsu sighs quietly in contentment, and slumps slightly. He seems to be considering resting, at least.

Masamune wonders if a hug would be welcomed. Normally he wouldn't care, but Ritsu is kind of in a delicate place right now, and he has _some_ decency.

Stop laughing.

“Go sleep. I'll wake you up in an hour.”

Ritsu bites his lip; conflicted.

Masamune smirks. Pure intentions or not, he knows how to trick Ritsu into taking care of himself. “Or,” he starts, leaning closer so that his lips brush Ritsu’s ear, “if you think that you'll get lonely, I can come with you. But you probably won't get much sleep if I do that,” he warns lowly.

As always, it works like a charm. Ritsu’s face practically bursts into flames. He sputters, and shakes his head violently, before practically bolting into their bedroom and pointedly slamming the door.

Masamune might be hurt if he wasn't so amused.  _‘Some things never change.’_

And now that Ritsu is getting some much needed, and well deserved rest, Masamune can breathe a little easier.

 _Objective: Make Ritsu sleep._ **_Completed._ **

_Next task: Make Ritsu laugh._

Masamune frowns.  _‘What to do, what to do, what to do?’_

An idea strikes him like a bolt of lightning, and Masamune’s eyes widen.

 _‘Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.’_ He smiles wickedly. He may or may not have a boyfriend after this, but that's a risk he's willing to take.

In an hour. Maybe two.

What? Ritsu really looked like he needed a nap, okay?

* * *

Ritsu is _tired._

Mostly emotionally, but his physical exhaustion is nothing to be ignored.  _‘I am going to sleep forever,’_ he decides.

It's perfect. Nothing can go wrong.

But then his bedroom door creak open slowly.  _‘Who the hell is in my room?’_ Ritsu mentally groans. He's trying to sleep here! He doesn't have time or energy for people breaking into his apartment.  _‘If I'm about to get killed by a serial killer I hope Masamune knows that I love him,’_ he thinks absently, rolling over on his side.

The sound of footsteps approaching grows louder.

 _‘Dammit. Masamune's gonna kill me when he finds out I died.’_ Oh well. Ritsu is way too exhausted to run away from a murderer right now.

“Sorry, Ritsu, but this is for your own good.” A voice speaks out suddenly; not sounding particularly sorry at all. 

Ritsu is instantly on high alert.  _Danger!_

He _knows_ that voice. He knows that voice _very_ well and it sounds far too smug.

_Escape!_

But it's already too late. A familiar weight settles on top of him, and Ritsu is effectively immobilized. “Masa-!” He gasps when he feels fingers run along his sides and _squeeze._

_‘Oh god, please no.’_

“Ritsu,” Masamune says solemnly, but he can't hide his triumphant smile. “Just know that I'm doing this because I love you.”

“What the hell are you talking about!?” Ritsu squirms violently; desperately trying to remove himself from underneath his _way too close_ boyfriend.

In response, Masamune wiggles his fingers against Ritsu’s sides.

Ritsu _shrieks._

Masamune freezes, his eyes wide in shock.

Ritsu covers his mouth, but the damage has already been done.  _‘Oh shit.’_ This is _not happening._

But clearly it is. “I'll be honest, I didn't really think you were ticklish.” Masamune smirks.

“I'm not!” Ritsu denies fiercely.

_‘Shit, shit, shit!’_

“Liar.” Masamune calls his bluff flatly.

Ritsu hisses angrily. Nobody was _ever_ supposed to find out about this.  _Especially_ Masamune. He almost would have preferred the serial killer.

Without warning, Masamune begins his attack on Ritsu again; this time tickling his sides, his stomach. under his neck, his _feet._

Uncontrollable laughter forces itself out of Ritsu until his chest is heaving and tears are welled up in his eyes. It's pure _torture!_ “Masamune stop,” he pleads breathlessly in between giggles to no avail.

“Sorry. You need this,” Masamune says cryptically. He happily ignores any and all of Ritsu’s wild thrashing in favor of tickling the younger man mercilessly.

Ritsu finally stops struggling. He knows that resistance is futile. Besides, right now he's more worried about trying to keep breathing than escaping.

“Wow. I should have done this days ago.” Masamune says amusedly.

Ritsu is laughing too hard to respond properly. He's pretty sure his face is more red than a tomato at this point, and he can feel that his cheeks are soaked from tears of laughter. “Masamune, please, I can't breathe!” Ritsu begs. His stomach is starting to hurt. He hasn't laughed this much in a while.

Apparently satisfied for now, Masamune finally lets up on his viscous assault.

Ritsu pants, still laughing a little, and wipes the salty tears off of his face.

“It's about time. I was getting worried about you.” Masamune smiles at Ritsu in relief.

“What do you mean? And did you really have to do that? I thought I was gonna die.” Ritsu pouts.

Masamune chuckles. “Thank goodness. It seems like you're back to normal.” He ruffles Ritsu's hair fondly.

Ritsu scowls. As usual, be doesn't know what the _hell_ Masamune is talking about.

“This is the most you've said to me in almost three days,” Masamune points out.

"Oh." Ritsu’s eyes widen.

_‘He’s right!’_

Masamune smiles wryly. “I was trying to give you space, but I just wanted to help you. You haven't smiled or laughed lately either,” he says gently.

That's right. Ever since Ritsu’s parents showed up and made a mess of things, he supposes he hasn't been very good company. “I'm sorry,” he whispers.

“No.” Masamune says firmly, grabbing Ritsu's hand and squeezing it in reassurance. “Don’t you dare apologize. I know that you're doing your best.”

Ritsu gives him a small smile of gratitude.

“I just wanted to see you smile. Hear you laugh,” Masamune explains. “I missed it.”

Ritsu's face is _hot._ _‘How can he say that so easily!?’_

Masamune laughs fondly at his boyfriend's scandalized expression.

Ritsu tries to say something, _anything,_ but he can't.

Masamune pats Ritsu's head a few times. “Just remember that I'm here whenever you need to talk, okay?”

Ritsu nods. God, Masamune can be an absolute asshole sometimes, but then he'll go and say stuff like _that_ and Ritsu swears his heart will beat out of his chest. He wouldn't change it for the world.

“Good.” Masamune stands. “Now c’mon. I let you sleep for two hours and I'm hungry.” he holds a hand out to help Ritsu up as well.

Ritsu takes it and doesn't let go. “Masamune, I just…” Dammit, why is he so _bad_ with words? “Thank you. I feel a lot better thanks to you.” Ritsu smiles.

Masamune smiles back. “Always.” he promises.

The lackluster words are not enough. It'll _never_ be enough to convey just how grateful Ritsu is to him, but it'll have to do for now. Hopefully, Masamune understands what Ritsu can't bring himself to say. He is creepily good at reading Ritsu these days. It's a little concerning.

Masamune tilts Ritsu's chin up just a little in order to kiss him properly.

They stay like that for an embarrassingly long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I gave myself a cavity writing this tbh.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumor has it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I hate this chapter. I literally hate it. It's so terrible, but I couldn't make myself delete it. I tried. Don't look at me.

"Um, Takano, can I talk to you for a second?” The voice that speaks seems calm enough, but there's an underlying sense of something unpleasant in their tone.

Masamune Takano is so absorbed with proofreading Erika Ichinose’s latest manuscript that it takes him a moment to realize that Kisa Shouta has asked him a question. “Sure. What's up?” Masamune frowns as he notices yet another mistake his star author has made. 

_'He probably just wants to ask for more prints of his book for that one store that always sells the most copies.’_

Hmm. Somebody who works there must _really_ like Kisa’s work. But that's none of his business.

“It's about Rittie.” Kisa’s tone is more urgent now.

Masamune's head snaps up so fast that he hisses and slaps a hand to a sudden crick in his neck. Well, that's certainly one way to get his undivided attention quickly. Apprehension settles in his chest when Kisa doesn't even crack a smile at his rare display of surprise.

“He asked me to keep quiet about this, but I really think that you should know.”

That doesn't sound good. “Smart,” Masamune says appreciatively; crossing his arms over his chest. “What has he gotten himself into this time?”

It's been historically proven that when Ritsu doesn't want to talk to Masamune about things that are bothering him _bad things happen._ Like breaking up for ten years over a stupid misunderstanding, for example.

Kisa fidgets nervously. “Well, there have been… rumors going around lately,” he begins hesitantly.

Masamune frowns. “What kind of rumors,” he asks, but he's pretty sure he can make an educated guess.

”They're about the both of you, but mostly Rittie.” Kisa wrinkles his nose in disgust.

A protective spark ignites within Masamune.

“They're saying that he…” Kisa shudders and looks as if he may be sick. “That he… _does_ things for you so that you'll give him special treatment.”

The careful word choice makes it clear that there's much more to that statement. The protective spark instantly bursts into a flame that makes Masamune's blood boil. Somebody in Marukawa Publishing clearly has a death wish.

“Of course, we all know the truth,” Kisa reassures him hastily. “We've been trying to put a stop to them, but they just keep getting worse.”

 _'Calm. I will stay calm. I will stay calm because killing people is still illegal.’_ Masamune spares a moment to be grateful that he and Ritsu had revealed their relationship to the Emerald team.

“But now it's gone too far.” Kisa places a crumpled up note on top of Masamune's desk. Then he snatches he had away as if the paper had burned him. “We found this on his desk today. It's not pretty,” he warns.

“A note? What is this, middle school?” Masamune unfurls the abused paper none too gently and scowls.

_You're disgusting._

The first words hit Masamune with a nauseating feeling of déjà vu.

 _It's not enough for you to have your job handed to you on a silver platter, but now you want_ more _favors?_

He absently notes that his knuckles are whitening.

 _We already knew that Takano would sleep with anyone, but he has truly lowered his standards if_ you're _his new toy._

His stomach churns threateningly with anger.

_Oh, how the mighty Onodera clan has fallen. People like you will never understand what it means to work hard. Do everyone a favor and run back to daddy now._

It's a short note, but by the time Masamune has finished reading, his hands are shaking so badly that it rips in half.

“I'm guessing you don't know who wrote this garbage,” he asks carefully through gritted teeth.

Kisa shakes his head. “No. If we did, you and Rittie would be the first to know.”

_‘Shit, Ritsu!’_

“Where's Ritsu,” Masamune asks, standing up abruptly.

Kisa takes a step back in surprise. “I don’t know. I think he said he was going home.’

 _‘Dammit.’_ He doesn't give a shit about the rumors. But Ritsu, on the other hand, has always been the type to stress himself out about what people think of him.

Masamune needs to find him _now._ “I'm leaving for the day,” he declares. He's not completely finished with his work yet, but he's the boss. He can do what he wants. And right now he wants to find his boyfriend.

“Understood. When you find Rittie, please tell him that me and everyone else are on your side,” Kisa requests sincerely.

“I will.” Masamune nods and quickly strides over to the elevators.

“And one more thing.”

Masamune glances at Kisa over his shoulder with an eyebrow raised.

“When you find whoever did this, give them a message for me.”

The angry tone Kisa speaks in takes Masamune aback for a moment.

“Tell them that if they decide to keep messing with Rittie, or _any_ of my friends, they will regret it,” he promises lowly. He smiles, but it's more than a bit cruel.

 _‘Hm. Never would have pegged Kisa as the sadistic type.’_ What a surprise. Masamune approves. “With pleasure.” He nods once and enters the elevator.

The doors slide shut, and Masamune presses the button for the first floor. It hasn't been that long. There's no way that Ritsu could have made it too far.  _‘But where is he?’_

Masamune is pleasantly surprised when his question is answered unexpectedly as soon as the elevator doors open.

“So are you the ones who have been spreading this gossip or not?” an all too familiar voice demands.

Well, that was easy.  _‘There he is.’_ Masamune smiles wryly. He would recognize that defiant tone anywhere.

"I have no idea what you're talking about,” an obnoxious voice rings out. “I haven't heard any gossip. Only what's true,” it says maliciously.

Anger spikes in Masamune's chest, and causes his fist to clench. He follows the sound of arguing to an almost hidden side hallway.

Once again, it seems that Ritsu has landed himself in a rather unpleasant situation. “Don’t lie,” He demands heatedly. He's currently backed into a corner; surrounded by three men Masamune doesn't recognize.

 _‘Three against one?’_ Masamune scoffs in disgust. _‘Cowards.’_ But as expected, being outnumbered is hardly enough to deter Ritsu from his angry tirade. He can’t decide if he should be worried or proud.

“I know you're the one who put the note on my desk. Mino told me he saw you hanging around the Emerald department earlier. You work on a completely different floor!”

Masamune's instinct of worry prevails, along with a sharp stab of possessiveness as one of the three buffoons snickers, and invades Ritsu's personal space.  _‘Get_ away _from him.’_ He's trying his best to let Ritsu handle this on his own, but he's never been one for self-control.

“Oh, Mino saw us, did he? Why weren't _you_ at your desk,” the man asks knowingly. “Perhaps you were too busy having _fun_ with Takano, hm,” he mocks.

“That's none of your concern!” Ritsu sputters. His face is an alarming shade of red.

“What,” a different man from the group chimes in. “Too proud to admit that you're a pampered prince who can't do anything for himself except fucking his boss?” He sneers.

Masamune sees _red._

“T- take that back!” Ritsu commands, but his protests are becoming weaker.

“Or what, you'll send Takano after us,” the third man asks sarcastically. “Please, like he actually cares about you.” He rolls his eyes.

Ritsu recoils.

That's the final straw. “He doesn't have to do a thing.” Masamune finally reveals his presence. “I'll kick your asses of my own free will,” he promises coldly. 

“Ta- Takano!”

“Masamune!”

Four voices call out in unison, but Masamune only cares about one.

Ritsu's eyes are blown wide, and his face is flushed. He jolts when he and Masamune make eye contact. Cute.

_‘Too bad I don't care how cute you are. We are having a conversation about you and communication when we get home.’_

Almost as if he heard the ominous thought, Ritsu cringes.

“Takano, we were just-" the one who had been standing _far_ too close to Ritsu suddenly stumbles back a few steps.

_‘Too little too late.’_

“Oh, I know _exactly_ what you were doing,” Masamune says, eyes narrowed dangerously.

The man flinches.

“Sorry I'm late, _Ritsu_ ,” Masamune emphasizes using the editor's first name. He walks purposefully over to stand next to Ritsu and is darkly amused when the other men scramble away desperately.

“What are you doing here,” Ritsu asks confusedly. “There's no way it's time for you to be leaving yet.”

“Kisa told me you had gone home early, so I got worried,” Masamune explains. “After all…” he glares icily at the three morons, “I happen to care about you quite a bit.”

Ritsu blinks in shock, and his eyes dart wildly around, before focusing on the floor determinedly.

The action is so endearing Masamune can’t stop himself from ruffling Ritsu’s hair affectionately.

Three pairs of eyes shift rapidly between them, and dawn in apprehension.

 _‘Hm. Maybe they have brains after all.’_ Masamune doubts it.

The idiots who had dared to harass Ritsu now look absolutely terrified.

 _‘Good. As they should.’_ Masamune feels grimly satisfied.

“So of course, I left to go home and find you. And it's it's a good thing I did, too.” He places a hand on Ritsu's shoulder, and tries to inject as much venom in his voice as possible. It's a shame, really. If these imbeciles had quit while they were ahead, maybe they would have been able to keep their jobs. Too bad. They picked the _one_ person who renders Masamune irresponsible of his actions. It's their own fault. “I'm sure that Mr. Isaka will be absolutely _thrilled_ when I inform him that three dumbasses have been violating Marukawa Publishing’s Sexual Harassment Policy.”

The men all pale at the realization of their own stupidity.

“You can’t be serious,” one of them protests weakly. “C'mon, Takano, don’t act like this.”

The one next to him nods wildly in agreement. “We were just trying to help. You can't honestly expect us to believe that he actually gives a shit about you or this job. I mean, he's an _Onodera._ He's just using you because that's what they do.”

Ritsu flinches as if he's been slapped. He tries to pretend it doesn't bother him, but his parents are still a sore subject.

Masamune scowls; outraged and disgusted at the _wrongness_ of these strangers’ assumptions.

_‘That's enough.’_

“Listen up, because I'll only say this once.”

These guys have _really_ overstayed their welcome.

Masamune squeezes Ritsu's shoulder comfortingly. “This guy right here, is the single most hardworking person I've ever met.” he proclaims unabashedly.

Ritsu lets out a surprised sound.

Masamune sneaks a glance at him, and notes appreciatively that his eyes are wide and awestruck.

“Sure he was a bit useless when he started here,” Masamune admits.

The adoring look that had been on Ritsu's face vanishes in a second. “Useless?” he questions under his breath.

“But,” Masamune continues, “He started from complete scratch, and in no time at all he learned more than I could have ever hoped. He proved really quickly that he's so much _more_ than just an Onodera. And I know that I can rely on him. So if you three have time to waste harassing my employee, go do your own work. Maybe then you'll be half as good as him.”

A stunned silence sweeps over them.

_‘Not good enough.”_

“Have I made myself clear,” Masamune questions dangerously.

Three shaky nods are all the response he needs.

“Good. Now _scram.”_

They don't need to be told twice, apparently. In almost the blink of an eye, Masamune and Ritsu are alone.  _‘Pathetic.’_ Masamune shakes his head in disgust. He can't wait to track them down and watch Isaka fire them.

“Um… Thank you,” Ritsu says quietly. His eyes are stubbornly locked on his feet.

Masamune frowns. “Are you okay? They didn't actually touch you, did they?” If they somehow dared to physically hurt him, Masamune _will_ go after them _right now._

Thankfully, Ritsu shakes his head. “No, I'm fine.”

Masamune scoffs in disbelief, but nevertheless feels himself calm down. Slightly. “Good.” If that's the case… “What the hell were you thinking!?” 

Ritsu jerks his head up reflexively at Masamune's outburst.

“You should have come to me the _instant_ you found that note. Not lied about where you were going and try to confront them on your own!”

Ritsu winces.

Masamune's anger sizzles out. He sighs. “Sorry, I know it wasn't your fault,” he says reassuringly. “But there was _three of them._ I know they turned out to be cowards, but what if they had actually wanted to hurt you?”

“You're right. I'm sorry.” Ritsu smiles sheepishly.

_Dammit._

“I'm sorry too. I really didn't mean to yell at you.” Masamune gives up. It's _impossible_ to stay mad at Ritsu for long. “But if something like this ever happens again, please talk to me first. I already said that I rely on you. It's okay if you rely on me a little, too.” He balls his fist and lightly hits Ritsu on the head.

“Yeah yeah,” Ritsu huffs. He tries to sound annoyed, but the red stain on his cheeks betrays him.

Masamune rolls his eyes fondly. God, he hopes Ritsu never changes.

“Well, since we both seem to have decided not to do our work anymore today, can we go home now,” Ritsu asks.

“Whats this,” Masamune fakes shock. “You actually want to go home _early?”_ The world must be coming to an end.

“Come on,” Ritsu pouts. “I was sexually harassed, according to you. I deserve a break.”

Masamune raises an eyebrow. “You do realize that going home only prevents other people from distracting me from you, right? There _will_ be sexual harassment.” he points out.

Ritsu frowns. “Shit. Yeah, I didn't think that one through. Never mind, I'm going back to work!” he declares, and turns on his heel to flee.

_‘As if.’_

Masamune snatches the back of Ritsu's shirt collar. “Relax, I was kidding. Mostly.”

Ritsu sputters.

“We’ll go home for the day, but tomorrow you should file a report with Isaka about this,” Masamune advises.

Ritsu frowns, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“Or I could just go find them right now and-"

“No! I'll do the report!” Ritsu promises.

Masamune feels slightly disappointed. “Okay then.”

Ritsu breathes a sigh of relief.

Masamune still doesn't like that they still don't know who actually started the rumors, but he's willing to let it go. For now. “Well, shall we both leave in the middle of the day and give these dunces something to talk about,” he asks teasingly.

Ritsu laughs wryly. “Sure, why not?”

This probably won't be the last time something like this happens. But, what can you do?

Besides, who gives a shit about a few rumors anyway?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abrupt ending is abrupt. I'm sorry this is so shitty. I blame finals.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heart attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is... nothing but pure fluff... I love it!
> 
> Also: me, craving romantic affection desperately and writing something ridiculously self indulgent? It's more likely than you think. 
> 
> (P.s. I have to take finals this week, so I honestly don't know when my next update will be. I'm sorry! I'd much rather write about these idiots than study but sadly that's not an option. I hate studying!)

Ritsu Onodera is sincerely worried about the state of his heart. You see, it's been doing this thing recently, where it will just _stop_ with no warning whatsoever.

Strangely,  it only seems to be triggered whenever a certain someone says a certain phrase: “I love you, Ritsu.”

_Thud._

See, there it goes again! Maybe he should think about seeing a doctor.

Okay, fine. Ritsu's not _completely_ clueless about what it is that's going to lead to his early death, but it's not something he likes to talk about. He'll be the first to admit that he is... hardly the most experienced person when it comes to dating. And by that, he means that he's only seriously dated one person in his entire life. Or two, if you count Saga and Takano as separate people. Thinking about that is confusing, and it makes Ritsu's stomach hurt; so he doesn't.

Anyways, the point is: he doesn't really know how to _be_ in a relationship. Ergo, whenever he receives romantic affection of any kind… he panics.

Masamune is less than sympathetic to his plight.

Every time the man randomly declares his love, Ritsu swears that he gets one step closer to full-blown cardiac arrest.

Ritsu makes dinner?

_‘I love you.’_

_Thud._

Ritsu wakes up cranky and downs eight cups of coffee?

_‘I love you.’_

_Thud._

Ritsu makes flimsy excuses to stay late after work so they can walk home together?

_‘I love you.’_

_Thud._

Ritsu pulls yet another all-nighter, and has deep bags under his eyes the next day because _somebody_ distracted him from finishing his work at a respectable hour?

_‘I love you.’_

_Thud._

Ritsu does literally _anything_?

_‘I love you.’_

_Thud._

It's a miracle that he's still alive. Ritsu… doesn't _not_ like it; but if Masamune doesn't tone it down, he’s going to explode.

The mattress suddenly shifts, and a squeak of surprise escapes Ritsu as a pair of arms snake around him, and he's yanked back into a firm chest.

“Why,” Masamune's voice is thick with sleep, and it sends shivers down Ritsu's spine. “Do you insist on staying up past unholy hours almost _every night,”_ he complains.

“I wasn't even doing anything,” Ritsu retorts defensively and prays that his heartbeat isn't really _that_ loud.

Masamune scoffs. “You think _way_ too loudly, you know? Turn your brain off,” he orders.

Now it's Ritsu's turn to scoff. “If it was that easy, don’t you think I would have done it already? Besides it's your fault anyway," he declares petulantly.

“And just how do you figure that,” Masamune asks incredulously.

“Everything's your fault!”

Masamune sighs heavily. Why is Ritsu so damn _weird_?,“Whatever you say.” It’s way too late, or early, for this. “Any chance you want to tell me what I did this time?”

Ritsu seals his lips firmly.

Masamune sighs. “Fine then.”

Ritsu's breath hitches in his throat and his eyes widen as he's suddenly rolled onto his back and a heavy, but _oh so familiar_ weight settles on top of him.

_Thud thud thud._

Yup, it's official. He's dead.

“I guess that makes me responsible for getting you to stop thinking.”

Ritsu fails to suppress a shudder at the pure suggestiveness in Masamune's tone.

“Any ideas,” Masamune whispers, leaning closer and closer and _closer_ to brush his lips against Ritsu’s neck.

Ritsu's skin _burns._ _Oh, so many ideas._

He squeezes his eyes shut, and desperately draws in a ragged breath. “N-no. No ideas whatsoever.”

Masamune chuckles at Ritsu's predictability. “You're an idiot. I love you.”

Ritsu's eyes fly open.

_Thud._

He brings a hand up to his chest and lays it flat. Just as he expected, his heart is racing entirely too fast to be healthy.

“Hey, what's wrong? Does something hurt?” Masamune leans back slightly and stares at Ritsu in concern.

“You keep saying… _that,_ ” Ritsu starts, looking anywhere but directly at Masamune.

“Saying what?” The worry in Masamune's eyes fades into confusion.

“That you… love me.” Ritsu's cheeks warm. “No one's ever said it to me as much as you do. I guess I'm still not used to it." He clears his suddenly dry throat nervously. "I don't think I'll _ever_ get used to it,” he admits quietly.

Masamune's eyes soften in understanding. No longer able to resist, he leans back in and kisses Ritsu deeply. Not a word is spoken, but it doesn't have to be. The ‘I love you’ is heard loud and clear.

 _Warmth_ fills Ritsu's chest, and he _melts._ _‘I love this man way too much for my own good.’_

When Masamune pulls away, a small, almost inaudible whine of protest is drawn from the back of Ritsu's throat. “H-hey, why did you stop?” Even to his own ears, his voice sounds thoroughly displeased.

Masamune laughs. “Because I wanted to tell you that I love you,” he says affectionately.

_Thud._

Ritsu's cheeks aren't just warm anymore. They're an _inferno_.

“I guess there's no choice,” Masamune says, his tone shifting to mischievous. “I'm going to start saying it even more, now.”

_Oh no._

Yeah, Ritsu's a goner. “Please don’t," he requests weakly.

“Okay.” Masamune agrees easily.

“Really?”

“No. I love you.”

_Thud._

Ritsu smothers his groan into the pillow.

Masamune snickers, definitely enjoying his boyfriend's torment.

“I hate you.”

“I love you.”

_Thud._

“You're going to kill me.” Ritsu declares flatly. He attempts to suffocate himself with his pillow, but sadly, it doesn't work.

“Love is going to kill you?” Masamune snorts in disbelief.

“Yes.” His reply is muffled. Ritsu can't see him, but he can _hear_ the eyebrow Masamune raises skeptically.

“That's too bad.”

Cold air hits Ritsu's flaming face and he gasps as Masamune removes his pillow shield.

“Because I'm going to keep telling you I love you.”

Ritsu's eyes widen, and his breath stutters in his chest.

“After all,” a note of anguish enters Masamune's voice now, and Ritsu can tell he's desperately trying to hide it. “I wasn't able to say it for ten years.”

_Oh._

Misunderstandings and wasted time suddenly weigh heavily in Ritsu's stomach. “Masa-" he's cut off by lips pressing firmly against his own. And even though a kiss between the two of them is hardly an unfamiliar sensation, It feels different this time. It feels like a promise. His eyes are still closed a few moments after Masamune pulls away _just_ slightly.

“So I've got a lot to make up for,” Masamune says, tracing along the side of Ritsu's face with his finger reverently.

“Masamune…” Ritsu whispers breathlessly, unable to think properly and come up with any other response.

This does not escape Masamune's attention. “Well, would you look at that? Told you I could get you to stop thinking,” he says quietly in fond amusement.

So it would appear. Ritsu simply nods absently in agreement. What is _thinking_ anyways? It sounds awful.

“Ritsu…” Masamune once again closes the distance between them.

As always, Ritsu's very skin catches fire, and he melts; completely helpless to resist. But that's okay. He doesn't want to.

“I love you.”

_Thud._

Ritsu Onodera is still sincerely worried about the state of his heart. So for now, he’ll leave it with Masamune for safe keeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S o self indulgent.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ritsu does (not) handle jealousy well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I passed all my finals!!! So of course now everything has gone to shit. 
> 
> Today has... not been a good day.
> 
> First, I wake up early for work completely without a voice, feeling like I just survived hell week. (Barely.) And then I find out my dog has heartworms. Fun times all around. 
> 
> Sorry for my bitterness. I'm good now. 
> 
> In other news, this chapter (and pretty much this entire fic tbh) is dedicated to two people. My amazing irl angel of a best friend who puts up with me ranting about this mess pretty much 24/7. Love you Lori!!!!! And also to DardaSaba, who comments on *Every* chapter. You're awesome!
> 
> Alright, enough rambling. Enjoy!

All Ritsu had wanted was _one_ normal night out to celebrate with his boyfriend; was that too much to ask?

Well, with the way things were going right now, apparently so. Question: is it possible to spontaneously combust in order to escape awkward, uncomfortable, and painful situations?

Ritsu's answer: unfortunately, it is not. He's been trying for the last five minutes. No dice. 

With a sigh, he cups his hand around his drink protectively. He idly notices that the ice is melting. He should finish it now, right? Before it gets all watered down? He probably shouldn't. He does anyway. The alcohol burns his throat on the way down, but Ritsu hardly notices. He vaguely wishes he had gotten something stronger.  _‘And everything had started out so great.’_

He'd actually been _excited_ for tonight. Work had been… tough lately, to say the least. Hell week had recently been stretching into hell _months_ , and every _single_ author who worked for the Emerald Department seems to have conspired together to make their editors suffer as much as humanly possible.

And that wasn't even the worst of it.

The sudden and unending workload would have been at least tolerable, though still a pain in the ass, if it hadn't been the direct cause of Ritsu not being able to see his own boyfriend for more than five minutes at a time for almost two weeks.  _Five minutes!_

Don't ask him how he knows the exact time; he’ll never tell.

(Okay, fine. Ritsu had set a timer.)

Don't judge him! It had only confirmed his suspicions that this was getting to be _ridiculous_. Luckily for Ritsu though, Masamune was even more displeased with the situation than he was. Apparently, when he doesn't get enough _‘Ritsu time’,_ as he'd so eloquently put it, Masamune tends to become rather… upset.

By which Ritsu means that he ends up pushed against walls, floors, and pretty much any flat surface even more than usual. Which is saying a lot.

Ritsu honestly doesn't particularly mind this development, but _still_! So when Masamune had declared that they were going out for the evening, Ritsu hadn't put up a fight.

It was nice. Masamune had driven them around with no specific destination in mind; and when they had gotten hungry, they'd stopped at the first restaurant they saw and agreed on. Nothing excessively fancy or anything, but the food was excellent.

Everything was going fine.  _Perfectly_ , even.

Ritsu wishes that they had just gone back home after that.

But after dinner, he and Masamune both noticed that it was still not that late. And since neither of them were in too much of a hurry to end their night out, they'd decided to make one more stop. Masamune suggested grabbing a drink. And Ritsu, like a damn _fool_ , had agreed without hesitation. Curse that man, and his knowledge about how little self-control Ritsu has when it comes to alcohol.

They hadn't been at the bar for that long. Maybe half an hour or so? Enough time for Ritsu to finish his first drink, at least. They really should have gone home after that.

But Masamune was _laughing_. And calling Ritsu a lightweight affectionately. And Ritsu was valiantly pretending to ignore him and they were having _fun_ dammit. He didn't want to leave. Until…

“Masamune!”

They should have gone home.

The voice that dared to be so familiar and use Masamune's first name cuts across the room; making itself impossible to disregard. The first thing that Ritsu notices is that the voice belongs to a woman. The second thing he notices is that she is _beautiful._

Her hair is a rich, creamy chestnut color that tumbles past her shoulder elegantly. It perfectly accentuates her flawless, doll-like face, and the ruby red of her stunning dress. Her eyes, the same blue as a bright and clear sky, are locked on Masamune.

Ritsu hates her instantly.

Masamune stops speaking mid-sentence, and Ritsu notes just a bit smugly how displeased the other man looks at being interrupted.

“Masamune, is that you,” the woman asks, crossing the room with graceful strides.

 _‘Please don’t,’_ Ritsu silently pleads.

She does. “It is you!” Her blindingly white smile widens in delight.

“Sorry,” Masamune says, sounding almost bored. “Do I know you?” Not a hint of emotion is given away from his expression as he examines the woman critically.

She just laughs, seemingly not put off by Masamune's obvious disinterest in the least. “Just as tactful as ever I see,” she says teasingly. “But I guess it has been a long time. It's me, Kuri.”

Masamune's eyes widen, and he chokes.

Kuri beams.  

Foreboding washes over Ritsu, and he signals for another drink. He has a feeling he's going to need it.

Kuri huffs, rolls her eyes, and directs her attention to Ritsu. “We haven't met. I'm Kuri.” She extends her hand to shake Ritsu's.

Ritsu takes it and is not surprised to find that her hands are unfairly soft.

“Hopefully _you'll_ remember.” She glances pointedly at Masamune. _“_ Can you believe him,” she asks accusingly.

Ritsu forces a small smile. “Nice to meet you. And don't take it personally. It took him _days_ to recognize me.”

“Hey, you didn't recognize me either.” Masamune protests, crossing his arms across his chest almost childishly.

Ritsu just shrugs. That's true enough.

Masamune lightly flicks him on the forehead. “What are you doing here anyway, Kuri?” his tone is slightly wary as he expertly changes the subject.

Kuri raises one well-groomed eyebrow. “Trying to get rid of me already? That's not very nice of you.” She pouts.

Masamune sighs. “You know that's not what I meant.”

Ritsu looks back and forth between the two. He can't help but notice how natural their banter seems. He is… not sure how he feels about that. “Um, if you don't mind my asking, how do you two know each other?” He wants to kick himself as soon as he asks the question.

Masamune grimaces.

Apprehension squeezes Ritsu's heart. He’s not sure he really wants to know the answer.

“What a lovely expression you have there, Masamune.” Kuri scoffs, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

“Kuri-" Masamune interjects, but her attention has already returned to Ritsu.

“You can't tell by looking at him now, but we were very good…” she pauses, and the slightest of smirks twists her features. “ _Friends_ , back in college."

_'Friends?'_

_Oh._

_‘So this woman and Masamune…’_

Ritsu doesn't know _everything_ about Masamune's college days, but thanks to Yokozawa, he knows enough to understand exactly what kind of _friendship_ is being referred to here. Nausea curls in the pit of his stomach. He wishes he hadn't asked. “I see.” He takes a large gulp of his drink. It's bitter; which he finds appropriate.

 _‘It was a long time ago,'_ he reminds himself of this fact firmly. _‘It doesn't matter anymore.’_ It _doesn't_. (So why does he suddenly feel so inadequate?)

“That's ancient history,” Masamune states firmly. “And just so you know, I'm dating somebody right now.”

Ritsu's heart skips a beat, and he resists the urge to flinch.

Kuri frowns. “Really? Who,” she demands.

Masamune waves his hand dismissively. “That's nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

Kuri rolls her eyes. “Do you know who it is,” she asks Ritsu.

Ritsu, who had been concentrating on fighting his natural instinct to run and remove himself from this uncomfortable situation, jolts when he realizes that she's addressing him. “Uh, yeah I guess you could say that.” he raises his drink to his lips in the hopes that she'll go back to ignoring him.

Kuri puts her hand on her hip. “Well, whoever it is, I'm sure they're not all that great.” She tosses a lock of hair over her shoulder flippantly.

 _‘Ouch.’_ Ritsu cringes.

“Kuri!” Masamune exclaims angrily.

“Well,” Ritsu doesn't realize he's spoken out loud until the sound of his own voice hits his ears. “She’s right. They're really nothing special.” he punctuates his sentence by quickly finishing off what remains of his drink.

 _Nothing special._ The alcohol does nothing to dull the sudden stab of pain in his chest.  _‘I want to go home now.’_

Masamune inhales sharply, like he's just been slapped. He opens his mouth, most likely to reprimand Ritsu for being self-deprecating again, but Kuri doesn't give him the opportunity.

“I knew it,” she says triumphantly. “If that's how it is, you should come and hang out with me for a while.” She smoothly sits in the open seat next to Masamune and leans in _far_ too close to his personal space.

Dread and dejection punch Ritsu in the stomach. He fights the nearly overwhelming impulse to shove Kuri.

“We used to have such a _good time_ together." Kuri’s flirtatious whisper is unreasonably loud. “I'm certainly not opposed to doing it again.”

Ritsu stands abruptly.  _‘That's enough.’_ He can't take any more of this. The confusion, the self-doubt, the jealousy. It's too many emotions for one person, dammit!

“I think I've had enough for tonight.” He’s not talking about the alcohol, but he's pretty sure there's a bit more of that than strictly necessary in his system as well.

“Ritsu, wait-"

Masamune's voice almost gets Ritsu to meet his gaze, but he can’t seem to look at anything that's not the floor right now. “It's fine.”

It's not fine.

“Besides, it's getting late.” At least that part is true. The fact that Ritsu is running away _again_ makes him furious with himself. But if he doesn't leave _now,_ he's gonna scream. Or cry. Probably both, if he's being honest.

“Bye,” Kuri says cheerfully.

“Bye.” Ritsu forces a smile, and walks away without another word. He vaguely hears Masamune protesting behind him, but he's already out the door.

* * *

_’I'm a coward.’_

Outside, the air is thankfully much cooler than the stifling bar.

Ritsu takes a deep, shaky breath, closes his eyes, and counts to five. He's still hanging out outside the front of the bar. He's not sure why.  _‘I should go home.’_

But he can't. Home means Masamune. And that's kind of exactly what Ritsu is trying to avoid right now. So, to recap: he can't stay here, but he can't go home either. He has effectively screwed himself.

_‘I am an idiot!’_

“Ritsu! There you are, you idiot!”

Ritsu nearly jumps out of his own skin.

Masamune somehow managed to sneak up behind him. And he looks _pissed._

_‘Well, shit.’_

“What the hell was that?” Masamune demands incredulously. And if Ritsu didn't know better, he wouldn't have been able to detect the worry masked by the anger.

“Sorry…” Ritsu hates how small his voice sounds right now. He tugs a strand of his hair nervously to distract himself. He feels so _stupid._

Masamune's eyebrows furrow. “Don’t apologize.” His voice is significantly softer now. “Explain.”

Ritsu draws in a breath. But just as they always seem to do, words fail him. He bites his lip in frustration. Shock, envy, hurt. He can’t even attempt to begin to describe the jumbled mess of _everything_ inside his head. “I just…” he tries anyway. “I couldn't stand it anymore.” He clenches his fist until his nails dig into his palms painfully.

Masamune frowns. “Stand _what,_ ” he asks somewhat exasperatedly.

“Any of it.” Ritsu's knuckles whiten. “She was… perfect.” He forces the words out, and feels hollow. “Gorgeous. And you two have a history! Anyone would want to get back together with someone like her.” His hands slowly unfurl.

There's dead silence.

Ritsu's heart beats loudly in his ears. His gaze is locked safely on his feet.

“Oh my god.” Masamune's hand meets his forehead with a slap. “You're a dumbass.”

Ritsu's head snaps up at _that_. Outrage boils his blood. “What-!”

“I love _you,_ ” Masamune says. It shouldn't be possible to make a declaration of love sound both annoyed and sincere, but somehow he manages it.  _“_ Not that girl, not anyone else.  _You."_

Ritsu's eyes widen. He takes a single step back as the force of Masamune's words hit him.

Masamune takes a step forward. “The _only_ reason that she and I ‘have a history’, is because _you_ and I had a past. You complete and utter moron!”

Ritsu… has no idea how to respond to that. All he knows is that his cheeks are suddenly _burning_ , and that he is probably gaping like a very unintelligent fish.

But Masamune isn't done with him yet. _“Nothing special?”_  He spits the words out like they're poisoning him. He closes the distance between them, and grips Ritsu’s shoulders firmly, but never enough to actually hurt.

Ritsu’s breath catches somewhere in his chest.

“Don't ever say something like that again. You are _the_ single most important thing that has ever happened to me, and you have been since day one. Nobody, especially not some fling I had years ago, could _ever_ be better than you.” Masamune's eyes burn with blazing sincerity.

Ritsu's heart pretty much explodes.  _‘I'm an idiot.’_ He opens his mouth, because he has to say something; _anything._ But all that comes out is a breathless sound that is suspiciously similar to a sob. He realizes with dawning horror that his vision is blurry.

“Are you crying?” Masamune's voice is concerned. He squeezes Ritsu's shoulders slightly, and tries to make eye contact.

Ritsu stubbornly refuses. “N-no!” He keeps his gaze firmly on the ground to hide his face.

“Ugh, you're an idiot.” Masamune sighs heavily. It sounds amused, and also slightly defeated. “But you're adorable. How the hell did I ever live without you?”

Ritsu sniffs. “You didn't. You slept with girls like Kuri and had Yokozawa baby you.”

Masamune winces, then laughs. “Okay, I deserved that one.”

Ritsu doesn't disagree.

“However can I earn your forgiveness?” Masamune asks just a bit teasingly.

Ritsu doesn't respond. Instead. He grabs the front of Masamune's jacket to pull him down a little. Because Masamune is way too tall, and Ritsu is _not_ going to stand on his tiptoes.  _‘You're already forgiven.’_ is what he wants to say. He just doesn't know how to do it out loud. His heart is pounding wildly as he plants a brief kiss on Masamune's lips. He tightens his grip on Masamune's coat when he notices his hands are beginning to shake.

The kiss is almost broken, but Masamune hums in disapproval when he feels Ritsu start to pull away. He wraps an arm around Ritsu’s waist and pulls him even closer in order to deepen the kiss. He doesn't let him go for quite a while.

“Well,” Masamune smirks as he takes in Ritsu’s appearance, which is more than a little disheveled compared to earlier. “I think we've had enough excitement for one night. At least in public,” he leers.

Ritsu's head had been in a daze, but he snaps out of it to glare at his boyfriend. There's no real malice behind it, though, and he can tell that his cheeks are glowing traitorously.

“What do you say? Ready to go home?”

Ritsu nods enthusiastically. He'd been ready to leave the second _emotions_ started happening.

Masamune laughs, and Ritsu feels so light he could fly.  

They begin walking home, and it takes all of ten seconds before Ritsu feels a hand slip into his own and give a light squeeze. He blushes, but makes no move to pull away. Instead, he squeezes back.  _‘Nobody could ever be better than me, huh? What a load of crap. You've got me beat any day of the week.’_

But there's no way Ritsu's telling _him_ that. The man has a big enough ego already, thank you very much.

They walk the rest of the way back home together, hand in hand; without a care in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two idiots istg. I love them. Also, I have to go out of town this weekend, so next update might be a little delayed. Sorry!
> 
> Edit: Well, this is embarrassing. It has been brought to my attention that I had Ritsu and Masamune walk home after driving. Let's say the bar is reasonably close to their apartment, and that Masamune didn't want to drive after drinking. Oops! Gotta love continuity errors.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In sickness and in health (but mostly sickness.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This is v e r y bad and cliche. I regret nothing.

_‘You have got to be kidding me.’_

Ritsu Onodera slowly cracks one eye open and winces. The small amount of light streaming in from the hallway is searing and lethal. His pillow usually feels soft as a feather, but his head is _killing_ him. To put it lightly, it feels like someone decided to attack his skull with a metal baseball bat. Repeatedly. He can already tell that this is  _not_ going to be a good day.

The smell of food cooking drifts through the air. Normally, this would be a pleasant smell, and it would entice Ritsu into finding the energy to leave the bed. But today, it makes his stomach churn violently.  

 _‘Oh god.’_ Ritsu barely makes it to the toilet before the contents of his stomach decide to make a thoroughly unpleasant reappearance. His throat aches painfully.

“Why,” he asks miserably to no one in particular. Once he determines that the bathroom floor is no longer in any danger from his rebellious stomach, he tiredly slumps against the side of the bathtub. The porcelain is alarmingly cold against his forehead. Looks like he has a fever, too. Great.

“Ritsu! Come on, food’s ready," Masamune announces from the kitchen.  

Ritsu shivers. His stomach protests threateningly. He does _not_ want food right now.  _‘You've got to be kidding me.’_

Today is not going to be a good day.

* * *

Masamune Takano is concerned.

From a distance, everything seems normal. The Emerald Team appears to be running at full speed. Kisa is typing frantically, while also pausing every thirty seconds to sneak glances at his cell phone. Hatori is yelling obscenities at his notoriously uncooperative author. Mino is doing… whatever it is that Mino does.

But his normally overachieving Ritsu is just staring blankly at his computer screen.

Something is wrong.

Masamune isn't sure _what_ the problem is, exactly, but Ritsu has been acting weird all day. He woke up late, he barely ate any breakfast, and he didn't even have any coffee. Of course, Ritsu is always weird. But when he starts behaving even _more_ strangely than normal, Masamune knows it's time to worry.

”Onodera!” Masamune calls out to him yet again in an attempt to capture the man's attention.

Ritsu barely reacts. He blinks a few times, before forcing his gaze to focus on Masamune.

Masamune frowns. _‘Something is_ really _wrong.’_

Ritsu may space out from time to time, but he's _never_ been so unfocused at work. Masamune needs to get to the bottom of this. “Where's your head at today?” He does his best to hide his worry behind sharp words. He expects Ritsu to make some sort of witty retort like he always does.

Instead, Ritsu cringes and seems to curl into himself. “Sorry. I guess I didn't sleep too well last night,” he says quietly.

Masamune's frown deepens. Now he feels guilty. How did he not notice this earlier?  _‘He does look kind of pale… even for him.’_ He takes a breath, about to voice his concerns, but he doesn't get the chance.

“Rittie!” Kisa shouts. His eyes are panicked and there's a noticeable tinge of desperation in his voice. “Can you _please_ go make me some copies of this? I was just about to, but I need to contact the author right now!” He holds out a stack of papers pleadingly.

Ritsu nods. “Sure.” He stands up quickly, and he seems to turn a shade paler, if possible. Squeezing his eyes shut, he presses his palm against his forehead for a brief moment.

Masamune's eyes narrow and uneasiness settles in his stomach when he notices this. He opens his mouth to say something, but Ritsu is already gone.  _‘I have a bad feeling about this.’_

But there's nothing Masamune can do about it right now, so he makes himself refocus on his work, and wait patiently for Ritsu to get back from his impromptu mission.

Ten minutes go by.

Ritsu does not return.

Apprehension attacks Masamune full force. ‘ _He's been gone too long.’_ It doesn't take _that_ long to make copies. He's just about to excuse himself so that he can go search for Ritsu, when the man himself finally wanders back into the office.

“Sorry... sorry it took me so long.”

Masamune gets to his feet instantly.

Ritsu had already looked pale earlier, but now he could rival a sheet of paper. His voice is conspicuously shaky, and his eyes are disturbingly unfocused.

“The copy machine was broken so I had to go to the tenth floor…” Ritsu's explanation goes unfinished as he trails off. His fingers loosen around the copies he's holding, and they scatter across the floor. His knees buckle, and that's the only warning sign there is before he completely collapses.

Masamune's eyes widen. He's pretty sure his heart stops. It's the only explanation for why he suddenly feels so cold. He rushes forward, and barely manages to catch Ritsu before he hits the ground. His arms automatically cradle the younger man closer to himself. “Ritsu?!” His heart is pounding erratically. He's never moved so fast in his _life_. Except maybe that time Ritsu nearly cracked his head open at the library.

Ritsu is totally unresponsive. His head rests against Masamune's chest, but he is unnaturally still.

Masamune's lungs seem to be malfunctioning; he can't quite remember how to breathe. He subconsciously tightens his grip around Ritsu's shoulders.  _‘Has he always felt so small?’_

“Is Rittie okay?” Kisa must have gotten up from his desk at some point, because he's suddenly at Masamune's side, staring at Ritsu worriedly.

“I don’t know,” Masamune answers; and that _terrifies_ him.

_‘Please don’t do this. Please let him be okay. Please, please, please…’_

“Should we call a doctor?” Hatori asks, and now he's standing as well. His forehead is creased with concern.

Masamune is just about to tell him _‘Yes, get an ambulance here, now!’_ when Ritsu groans and his eyes flutter open.

“What… what happened?”

Masamune closes his eyes. _‘Thank goodness.’_ He sends his gratitude to anyone who may be listening. Now he can breathe again.

Ritsu notices his and Masamune's new position on the ground. “Uh, why are we on the floor?”

“That's what I'd like to know.” Masamune carefully brushes Ritsu's bangs back from where they've fallen into his face. His eyes widen the second his hand meets Ritsu’s forehead.

_‘He's burning up!’_

Confused green eyes stare up at Masamune.

“Rittie! Are you okay?” Kisa draws Ritsu's attention away. “I'm so sorry! I should have gone to get the copies myself,” he frets.

Ritsu smiles reassuringly. “It's okay. I'm fine now," he promises.

 _‘Liar.’_ Masamune's eyes narrow, but he's spared from having to call his boyfriend's bluff.

Ritsu abruptly freezes in his arms. What little color he’d managed to regain drains from his face. He slaps one hand against his mouth hurriedly and clutches his stomach tightly with the other.

“Ritsu, what's wrong,” Masamune asks worriedly.

Ritsu's eyes dart frantically around. Luckily, at least one person seems to understand what he's looking for.

“Here.” Mino passes a trashcan to Masamune not a moment too soon.

Ritsu heaves. Tears well up in the corners of his eyes because they're shut so tight.

Masamune helplessly rubs circles between Ritsu's shoulder blades. He feels _useless_ right now, and it's pissing him off.

When the worst of it finally passes, Ritsu coughs weakly.

Masamune pats his back a few times. “Why didn't you tell me you were sick?” He asks, not bothering to disguise the dismay in his tone.

“Sorry.” Ritsu's voice comes out scratchy, so he clears his throat before speaking again. “I didn't want to worry you.”

Masamune sighs heavily. _‘And you didn't think_ _that overworking yourself until you blacked out would worry me?’_ Honestly, he will never understand Ritsu's logic.

Ritsu succumbs to another coughing fit. Masamune's throat stings in sympathy.

“I'll go get some water.” Kisa offers as he stands up.

Masamune nods once in acknowledgment. “And after that, _we_ are going to the doctor.” He declares, leaving no room for argument in his tone.

Of course, Ritsu, being the stubborn ass that he is, shakes his head in disagreement. “No, no doctor. I'm fine,” he insists.

Masamune feels his eyebrow twitch. “You are most definitely not _fine!_ ” His voice is significantly louder than he intended.

Ritsu flinches.

Masamune silently curses himself. “I'm worried about you,” he admits, making sure to soften his voice. “You literally just passed out, and then threw up the second you woke up. Plus you're really hot.”

Ritsu blinks a few times, before glaring at him flatly. “Is now really the time to be hitting on me?” He sounds unimpressed.

Masamune rolls his eyes and _gently_ flicks Ritsu in the forehead; which is still worryingly warm. “First: it's always a good time to hit on you. Second: I meant that you have a fever, dumbass.”

“Oh.” Ritsu touches his forehead curiously. “Dammit, still?”

Masamune frowns. “ _Still,_ ” he repeats sternly.

_What the hell?_

“Are you telling me,” Masamune asks carefully, hoping against hope that his boyfriend is not _that_ much of an idiot. "That you knew you were ridiculously sick, but you came to work anyway?”

“Um..” Ritsu's awkward stammering, and sudden refusal to meet Masamune's eyes, is answer enough.

Masamune loves Ritsu. But he's gonna kill him.

“Rittie!” Kisa unwittingly becomes Ritsu's new favorite person. He turns the corner of the office and drops to his knees next to Masamune. “Here, take this.” He hands Ritsu a bottle of water with the cap already off.

Ritsu smiles gratefully. “Thanks, Kisa.” He takes a few sips cautiously, still wary of his stomach.

Hatori crosses his arms over his chest. “Are you sure you're okay now, Onodera? You gave us quite the scare,” he says matter-of-factly.

Mino and Kisa both nod in agreement.

“I'll say.” Masamune huffs, and subtly squeezes Ritsu to reassure himself.

Color floods Ritsu's cheeks at the onslaught of attention he’s now receiving. It's a bit alarming, but a welcome contrast to the deathly pale he had been earlier. And if he happens to vaguely resemble a stop sign now, so be it.

“Thanks everyone. Sorry for making you all worry.” Ritsu scratches behind his ear and smiles sheepishly. “I'll get back to work now-"

Irritation and exasperation fuel Masamune's next, slightly less gentle flick of Ritsu's forehead.  _‘Idiot.’_

“Like hell you will.”

Ritsu covers his abused forehead protectively. His eyes narrow, and his jaw sets stubbornly. It's an expression that's all too familiar.

“Don't look at me like that," Masamune scolds him. “We’re going home. And _you_ are going to get some rest if it means I have to strap you to the bed.”

Ritsu sputters angrily. Even more color floods his cheeks, and now he's Masamune's favorite shade of red.

“Mr. Takano, please refrain from talking about your and Onodera’s private time at work.” Hatori requests, his voice monotone.

“Agreed.” Kisa exaggerates a look of disgust. It disappears quickly though, and he snickers goodnaturedly at Ritsu's scandalized face.

Mino simply covers his mouth with the back of his hand. It's hard to tell with him, but it kind of looks like he's smiling wider than usual.

“Traitors, all of you,” Ritsu declares, hiding his glowing face behind his hands.

“Yes yes, we're all horrible to you.” Masamune smiles wryly in amusement.

“Don’t patronize me.” Ritsu peeks between his fingers to glare at Masamune.

“Don’t come to work if you feel so bad you think you'll collapse,” Masamune retorts.

Ritsu draws in a breath, but then releases it slowly and pouts when he realizes that he really can't argue.

Masamune only laughs at him a little.

“Fine fine, I get it. I'll go home, geez.” Ritsu shakily attempts to get to his feet. The rosy red quickly drains from his face. He manages to stand for all of three seconds until his knees give out on him yet again.

Masamune reflexively catches him. “Hey, hey, be careful.” He'll probably be embarrassed about how soft he sounds later, but right now he doesn't give a shit. He wraps an arm around Ritsu's waist to support him.

It's a testament to just how unwell he truly is that Ritsu doesn't even snap at him. Instead, he rewards Masamune with a weary, but grateful smile.

That smile warms Masamune's heart more than he cares to admit. Or maybe it's the unnatural heat radiating off of Ritsu. Either one is just as likely at this point. "I think we'll be going for the day,” he announces. He's still got some work to do, but it's not that much. He's got more important things to worry about at the moment.

The chorus of Get Well Soons Ritsu is treated to is enough to make the tips of his ears burn.

Masamune is glad they have such a good team.

Ritsu _very_ reluctantly accepts Masamune's help walking out of the office. He may be a pig-headed fool, but even he realizes that his legs are still far too untrustworthy.

Any and all of Masamune's offers to carry him are harshly rejected.

At least until Ritsu falls asleep on the subway.

Masamune can’t quite bring himself to wake him. He carefully hoists Ritsu onto his back, and adjusts him to make sure that he won't fall off and hurt himself. He'll tease Ritsu about being heavy later, when the other man is feeling better. Until then though, he contentedly walks home; a concerningly hot forehead pressed against the back of his neck.

Of course, Ritsu's presence has always been undeniably warm; so Masamune doesn't give the fever too much credit.

“Tell me when you're sick next time, okay?” Masamune whispers. He smiles faintly as he recalls an order once given to him by a flustered Ritsu. “After all, it would be a pain for me if you died, or something.”

Masamune can’t see his face, but he thinks Ritsu smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it ends kind of suddenly I'm s o r r y. But I felt like it was starting to drag out. I promise Ritsu's fine; just an overworking idiot who needs to take care of himself more. Masamune didn't let him leave the bed for three days ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family affair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone remember like a million years ago when I wrote about Ritsu's parents? Well they're baaaaaccckk! I don't??? Know what happened??? Or where this came from??? I'm n̶o̶t̶ sorry. Also this chapter got s o long I'm sorry.

Ritsu Onodera would like to state that he had been having a perfectly average day, thank you very much.

He'd woken up, and only after reciving a very _thorough_ good morning from Masamune did he manage to escape the bed and attempt to make them breakfast. He may or may not have fallen off the counter trying to reach the frying pan. But in his defense, why the hell was the frying pan being kept up so high, anyway!?

He blames Masamune and his damn height.

After they'd arrived at work, Ritsu spent the day giving the entire Emerald department a lecture on the definition of a deadline. Because not a single one of them seemed to understand what one was, or how to get a damn manuscript turned in when said deadline was due.

Like he said, a perfectly average day.

Ritsu should have known _something_ was wrong in the universe. He’s not allowed to have average days, apparently. So when his cell phone rings exactly as he steps through his front door, and he sees just _who_ is calling him unexpectedly, all he thinks is _‘I knew it!’_

Her voice is just as sweet and earnest as always, but there's something in it that Ritsu knows all too well. “Uh, Rittie?”

It's anxiety. She _never_ sounds anxious. Something's not right.

“An!? What… what a surprise.”

Long story short, Ritsu has mixed feelings about his ex “fiancée”. And the fact that he had never had any intention of marrying her in the first place certainly does not make things any easier.

“Thank goodness! I wasn't sure you would pick up.”

_‘I almost didn't.’_

Ritsu hopes the awkward laugh he lets out doesn't sound guilty. “It's good to hear from you. How have you been?” A genuine smile appears on his face.

What? Just because he didn't want to marry her doesn't mean he doesn't _like_ her. You know, as an important childhood friend.

An sighs, and Ritsu feels his smile fade slightly. “Is everything okay?”

There's an uncomfortably long pause before An responds. “Rittie, when's the last time you spoke to your parents,” she asks suddenly.

Ritsu almost drops his phone. “Uh... It's been a while.”

 _‘That's an understatement.’_ Ritsu hasn't spoken to either of his parents since they inadvertently found out that he was in a happy, loving relationship. With a man. Aia and Takao Onodera had _not_ been thrilled.

“W-why do you ask?”

An takes a deep breath as if steeling herself for something.

Confusion and dread weigh heavily in Ritsu's stomach.

“They called me earlier. They were asking if I had any ideas for our wedding date.”

Ritsu drops his phone.

_‘What the hell?’_

Let's list some facts: Ritsu is dating Masamune. His parents, for better or for worse, (hint: it's for the worst.) _know_ that he is dating Masamune. And yet they still contacted his friend to harass her about a wedding that is _not going to happen_.

Ritsu's stomach hurts.

“Rittie?” An’s voice calls worriedly.

Ritsu quickly grabs his phone and brings it back to his ear. “Sorry, I dropped my phone,” he explains. “What… what did you tell them?” His fingers tighten around his phone.

“I told them that we weren't getting married of course.” An reassures him. “Since there's no way I could ever win against that person you've been in love with since junior high.”

Ritsu's cheeks heat up, and he almost drops his phone again.  _‘She actually told them that!?’_ His respect for An increases significantly.

“But they were being really persistent. I think they might be heading to your apartment. They tried to get me to go with them.”

That's it. Ritsu's moving out; immediately.  _‘What do they want? I have nothing to say to them.’_ He scowls in frustration, but he's honestly not that surprised. This is exactly the kind of stunt he would expect from his mother.

“I'm sorry you got dragged back into this, An.” Ritsu rubs his forehead briefly. For some reason, now he has a headache. ”Thank you for letting me know.“

“Always, Rittie.” An promises. “Are you going to be okay?”

_‘Probably not.’_

“Of course.” There's no need to involve An any further in this mess. Nobody should be subjected to dealing with his family more than they _absolutely_ have to.

“Right then.” An says slowly; because she is not an idiot, and doesn't believe Ritsu for one second. But she's also known him long enough to understand when he wants to deal with things on his own.

Ritsu's said it before but he'll say it again: An has always been, and always will be, far too good for him.

“Can I just ask you one thing,” An requests hesitantly.

“Sure. What is it?” Ritsu owes her that much, at least.

“Are you happy? With him?”

Ritsu's eyes widen, and his cheeks heat up again. He certainly hadn't been expecting _that,_ but he doesn't hesitate when he replies, “Yes. I am.”

“I see.”

The defeat in An’s voice makes Ritsu want to apologize. He knows it wouldn't be very appreciated though, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“Then I'm glad. That's all that matters.” An’s tone is back to being cheerful. “Good luck with your parents.”

Ritsu has a feeling he's going to need a lot more than just luck. “Thank you, An.”

An ends the call, and Ritsu just hopes that she can tell that he's thanking her _everything_ , not just the warning.

Ritsu's eyes drift to an empty coffee mug sitting inconspicuously on the living room table. It's Masamune's. Because as much as he picks on Ritsu for his tendency to never clean up after himself, _he's_ the one with a terrible habit of leaving coffee cups anywhere and everywhere.  _‘I guess I should tell Masamune to stay away from the house for a while.’_ He sends a text and prays that for _once_ Masamune actually checks the messages on his phone. 

_6:08 p.m_

_I think my parents are on their way here. Please don't come home until I can get rid of them._

Barely thirty seconds pass, however, before Ritsu’s cell phone alerts him of an incoming notification.

_6:09 p.m_

_As if. I'm on my way._

Only six words, but Ritsu feels the nervousness in his stomach ease slightly. He can't even pretend to be irritated with Masamune's blatant overprotectiveness. He will deny this later, but he gets so distracted staring at the message on his screen that he loses track of time, and almost doesn't hear the doorbell ring.

Ritsu's heart skips a beat. _‘They're here already?!’_ He suddenly feels very cold.

The doorbell rings again.

Ritsu was _not_ mentally prepared! He doesn't know what to do. Maybe he can pretend he's not home? No, that's stupid.

Apparently giving up on the doorbell, loud knocking can be heard instead.

 _‘I guess I have to answer the door.’_ Ritsu ignores the not so small part of him that wants to run away via the fire escape. Slowly, _very_ slowly, he approaches the door and turns the handle. The door opens slightly, but he makes sure there's not enough room for anyone to enter or exit.

“Ritsu, hello dear.” Aia Onodera smiles oh-so-charmingly from the hallway. She's clearly decided pretend that their last meeting never happened.

Ritsu has no desire to play along. “Mother,” he says flatly. He can still remember the sting on his cheek from when she slapped him. “What a surprise.”

_‘Aren't surprises supposed to be pleasant?’_

‘Is that how you greet your mother after you haven't seen her in so long?” Takao Onodera demands,  crossing his arms over his chest.

_‘It hasn't been nearly long enough.’_

Ritsu bites his tongue to keep himself from voicing his true thoughts. “Sorry, but I wasn't exactly expecting company. I was actually just on my way out.”

His mother's eyes narrow slightly, but then in an instant, the bright smile is back on her face. “Then we won't take too much of your time. May we come in?” she asks, but it's clear that it's not really a question.

 _‘No way in hell.’_ Ritsu fights off the strong urge to shut the door and lock it behind him. Against all of his better judgment, he wordlessly opens the door wider to let them pass.

“Sure. But my boyfriend,” he emphasizes the word, and takes no small amount of pleasure from the discomfort that briefly contorts both of his parents’ expressions. “is on his way home and we have plans.”

“Of course.“ Aia agrees quickly “We just wanted a quick visit.” She's got that look on her face. The one that always means she's lying through her teeth.

 _‘This is a bad idea,'_ Ritsu thinks as he steps away from the door and leads his parents to the living room. But as usual, he doesn't really have much of a choice.

“Would you like some tea,” he asks listlessly, and only out of habit. He pointedly does not invite them to sit.

“No thank you,” Takao denies stiffly. He seems _almost_ as uncomfortable with this situation as Ritsu if that were possible.

“Thank you, but I think it's best we just get straight to the point.” His mother finally drops her plastic smile. “Don’t you agree?”

“Right.” Ritsu has never agreed with anything less in his entire life.

“Your father and I have talked extensively about this,” Aia informs him solemnly.

 _‘Translation:_ you _talked about this and he went along with it so you wouldn't throw a fit.’_

“And we think it's about time for you to end your childish rebellious phase and come home.”

_Home?_

Ritsu may have lived there at one point, but that cold, empty place that always swallowed his voice was _never_ a home to him.

“You're plenty old enough now to start seriously thinking about taking over the company,” Takao declares pompously. 

 _‘Haven't we had this conversation before?’_ Indeed, Ritsu's lost count of how many times he's specifically said that he _doesn't_ want to inherit Onodera Publishing.

“I don’t-"

“You are an adult now. There's no excuse for this insubordinate behavior anymore.” His mother cuts him off sharply. “You need to start acting like an Onodera.”

Ritsu flinches. He's twenty-five years old, but right now he feels like a scolded child. “Mother, please don't start this again.” He says desperately. Despite everything, he doesn't want to fight with his parents. But why can't they just _listen_ to him for once?

Aia narrows her eyes warningly. “Don't you take that tone with me. I just want what's best for you.”

 _‘What's “best for me”, is parents that actually give a shit about my happiness instead of their reputation,'_ he thinks bitterly.

His father scowls. “When you first told me you were leaving Onodera Publishing for Marukawa, I thought for sure that I was having an unpleasant dream. I couldn't fathom another reason you would do something so unthinkably stupid.”

The air leaves Ritsu’s lungs in a rush.

“I had Mr. Isaka place you in the shojo manga department because I hoped it would help you return to your senses and realize the correct path. I don't understand why you insist on being so stubborn.” Takao glares, and shakes his head in disappointment.

Ritsu’s chest feels far too constricted to be healthy. He hates himself for feeling so shocked. He had _known_ that his father was somewhat involved in his seemingly random transfer from literature to manga, but it looks like a small part of him had still been in denial.

 _‘Where the heck is Masamune?’_ Ritsu can't even bring himself to be embarrassed about how much he wishes he wasn't alone right now.

It's a little scary how at that exact moment the door swings open.

Ritsu would almost suspect that Masamune is capable of reading his thoughts, what with the way his timing can either be perfect or devastating. But it's more likely that since he had driven them to work in his car today, he didn't have to wait for the subway.

“You.” Aia instantly sneers as Masamune joins them in the living room.

“Me,” Masamune agrees coldly.

The tightness in Ritsu’s chest eases just a little, and now he can actually breathe.

Takao frowns as if he's just smelled something unsavory. “Excuse me. Could you please leave? We're in the middle of a rather important discussion, and it's really more of a family affair,” he says condescendingly.

 _‘No!’_ Panic sweeps through Ritsu at the thought of being left alone with his parents _again._

Masamune scoffs. “Sorry,” he says dryly. “But I'm not going anywhere unless Ritsu tells me to.”

Now Ritsu's chest feels tight for a different reason. “He's staying.” His voice comes out slightly shaky. He impulsively walks to stand next to Masamune and gives his hand a quick squeeze of gratitude.

Masamune squeezes back briefly before he lets go. “Are you okay,” he asks, keeping his voice low enough so that only Ritsu can hear him.

“Yeah.” Ritsu smiles, and it's only _slightly_ forced.

His mother tsks, and Ritsu’s shoulders tense at the sound. “How sweet. But you do realize that Ritsu is engaged, right?” she asks, contempt dripping from her tone.

Ritsu’s cheeks burn with anger and mortification. “Why do you insist on calling her that? I _never_ agreed to marry her,” he says for what must be the millionth time in his life.

“This is exactly the kind of unreasonable behavior your father and I cannot tolerate anymore.” His mother states icily. “Why on earth do you not want to settle down? An is perfect, and she is sensible enough to know that you two are meant to be together.”

 _‘And somehow, it always comes back to this.’_ Ritsu has had enough. Normally he would freeze up, and let his parents belittle him like a kid. But with Masamune next to him, he feels braver than he ever has. That's the only reason he's able to gather his courage for what he's about to do.

“No.” Ritsu clenches his fists so that no one can see his hands shaking. “I don't want to argue, but I can't do this anymore.”

“Do what?” His father snaps.

“Any of this.” Somewhere inside Ritsu, a dam bursts. “You're _wrong_. About An. And Masamune. And especially me.”

Masamune places a hand on his shoulder in a very much needed show of support.

Aia looks as if she wants to interject, but she's done more than enough of that for one day.

“I am not some… perfect doll you can do whatever the hell you want with. You can't decide my life, and you can't decide who I marry.” Words normally don't like to cooperate with Ritsu, but they come easily this time. Perhaps because this is something he's wanted to say for a very long time.

“How dare you-" Takao starts, but Ritsu's on a roll, he can't stop now.

“An and I are _friends._ That's it. She knows that I never planned on going through with the engagement. And she's okay with it. Because I'm _happy._ ” He hears a sharp inhale come from Masamune. He almost turns around. Almost.

_‘So, so incredibly happy.’_

“Does that mean  _anything_  to you at all?”

Silence. Deafening silence.

 _‘I didn't think so.’_ Ritsu's heart breaks in two.

“Of course it does,” Aia says belatedly. But that one look is back on her face. She's lying.

Ritsu shouldn't be so surprised. But it still hurts. “Please go.” Even he thinks his voice sounds hollow.

“Son, please-" his father pleads.

Ritsu's eyes start to burn. “Don't call me that. You don't even see me as a _person._ Let alone your son. I'm more than just your figurehead. And if you can't accept that, then I'm done being an Onodera.” his breath catches in his throat at those last words. He hadn't meant to say them, but he won't take them back.

“Ritsu…” His mother whispers.

Ritsu just shakes his head. If he opens his mouth, he doesn't know what will happen. So he keeps it closed just in case.

Masamune's hand slides from his shoulder gently, and he steps in front of Ritsu; as if to shield him from his parents. “I believe he asked you to leave.” He says firmly.

“You insolent-" Takao scowls, and looks as if he wants to fight. He starts forward but freezes the moment Aia grabs his bicep.

“Stop. It's Okay.” Nothing about this is okay. “Clearly we all need some time to… cool our heads. We’ll excuse ourselves then.” It's impossible to decipher what emotion is in her voice.

Masamune nods.

Takao furrows his eyebrows in confusion, but he goes along willingly enough as he is dragged to the door.

Aia pauses in the doorway and sends one last cryptic look over her shoulder at Ritsu. She opens her mouth, but whatever she had planned to say never escapes her lips. She shakes her head, and the door closes behind them with a soft _click._

 _‘Finally.’_ Ritsu's back roughly meets the wall. He lets out a deep sigh, and all the tension leaves his body at once. He sinks until he ends up sitting on the floor. _‘That went just as well as I expected.’_

Masamune kneels down next to him without hesitation. “Are you okay,” he asks, but his tone makes it clear that he already knows the answer.

Ritsu nearly chokes on a laugh. Or maybe it's a sob. Who knows? “I don't think so.” He slumps forward until his head lands on a warm chest.

Masamune's arms are around him in the blink of an eye.

“Thanks.” Ritsu's voice is uncharacteristically gravely. He breathes in, greedily taking in the scent of cigarette smoke and _Masamune_ until his lungs hurt.

“I'm sorry.” Masamune apologizes randomly, pressing his lips to the side of Ritsu's head softly.

Ritsu frowns. “What for?” His question is muffled by Masamune's shirt.

“That you have even shittier parents than I do.”

Taken by surprise, Ritsu laughs weakly. “Wow. Have I finally graduated from being a spoiled rich kid?” His voice does _not_ break. (Yes it does.)

Masamune doesn't answer. Instead, he just tightens his hold on Ritsu and brings one hand up to tangle in his hair comfortingly.

The space behind Ritsu's eyes aches. “I'm tired," he confesses. It's a massive understatement, but he's not good enough with words to describe the _heaviness_ that's weighing down on him.

“I know.” Masamune strokes Ritsu's hair gently.

Ritsu buries his face further into Masamune's chest. He's still not so vaguely in shock from the day's events.

On one hand: now he doesn't have to deal with the overwhelming anxiety coupled with his parent's expectations of him every single day of his life. On the other hand: he may or may not have just irreversibly exiled himself from his family.

It's all confusing and painful and _exhausting._ But now Ritsu knows for certain that if his parents ever truly forced him to choose between them and Masamune, it wouldn't be a difficult choice. Honestly, a small part of him acknowledges that Masamune may be only one in the world that he considers family anymore. It doesn't sadden him as much as he expects.

_‘At least I still have you.’_

Ritsu will have to apologize for ruining Masamune's shirt with salty tears later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. 
> 
> P.s. Next chapter will feature a surprise guest! (And a terrible pun.) Cookies to anyone that guesses who correctly! ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking awkwardness to a whole new level! (Or not.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just a quick announcement: DardaSaba, Congratulations! You were right, and all the cookies are now yours! Thank you!!

Ritsu Onodera is currently in quite the predicament, and there is only one thing he would like to make absolutely, perfectly clear: this is all Masamune's fault!

 _‘He could have sent_ anyone _to deliver the damn manuscripts to the printers but nnooo, it just_ had _to be me.’_

Okay fine, Ritsu will admit that this ordeal isn't _totally_ because of Masamune, but he's the one that's getting blamed for it, so too bad. He's willing to bet that if Kisa, Hatori, or Mino had been sent instead, they would have been just fine. But of course, because it's _him,_ and since he has such _wonderful_ luck, he has to deal with…

Takafumi Yokozawa scoffs distastefully as he steps into the elevator.

 _‘I knew I should have taken the stairs,’_ Ritsu thinks forlornly. He makes a silent vow to never let laziness dictate his decisions ever again.

“Of course I had to run into _you_ of all people so early in the morning.”

“Sorry.” Ritsu apologizes out of habit, even though it's hardly _his_ fault that they are being forced to interact. If it were up to him, he'd only have to see Yokozawa’s face once a millennium. “Good… good morning.”

Yokozawa raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed with the weak greeting, and doesn't bother returning it.

Ritsu mentally sighs in defeat. He had thought that they were past all of this _awkwardness_ between them, but that's clearly not the case. The elevator doors slide close with a silent thud, and he tries not to feel like he's just been sealed into his tomb. “First floor,” he asks, needing to do _something_ to prevent the oppressive silence that will inevitably fall over them.

Yokozawa sighs long-sufferingly. “Where else would I be going,” he asks sardonically.

“Right.” Ritsu gives up and despairingly lets the oppressive silence win.

‘ _Please please please just hurry up and get me out of here,’_ he begs the elevator. Traitorously, the elevator does not instantly teleport them to the first floor. In fact, it actually seems to _slow down._

Wait a minute… it _is_ slowing down!

“Hey,” Yokozawa scowls, startling Ritsu out of his private conversation with the elevator. “What the hell is wrong with this thing?” The elevator shakes slightly as if insulted by his rude question.

 _‘Oh no.’_ So it _wasn't_ just Ritsu's imagination. His pulse quickens and he nearly loses his balance as the elevator lags even further and shudders slightly.

Yokozawa curses and instinctively places a steadying hand on Ritsu's shoulder. It's hard to tell which one of them is more surprised.

The elevator, along with Ritsu's heart, screeches to a halt.

_‘Oh no.’_

Yokozawa removes his hand from Ritsu's shoulder quickly. “You okay,” he asks gruffly.

“I'm fine.” Ritsu wills his heartbeat to return to a less concerning rhythm.

“Good. Because it looks like we may be stuck here for a while.”

Ritsu wants to scream. “Perfect.”

_‘I just wanted to deliver some manuscripts, dammit!’_

Masamune is definitely sleeping on the couch tonight.

* * *

Ritsu is a calm, rational adult. He goes to work, pays his bills, etc. No matter what the situation, he can and will handle any unexpected curveballs life decides to throw at him with endless maturity and sophistication. He can certainly deal with something as mundane as being stuck in an elevator for twenty minutes.

_Not._

_‘Don't freak out, don't freak out, do_  not _freak out!’_ Ritsu commands himself firmly, as he freaks out. Here's the thing: he wouldn't exactly classify himself as _claustrophobic,_ per se, but he _hates, hates, hates_ confined spaces with a burning passion.

“What the hell's your problem,” Yokozawa asks, annoyance coloring his tone. His eyes had been closed, but be cracks one open to stare peevishly. He couldn't appear more bored if he tried. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he's leaning against the wall casually. Until a moment ago, he’d looked like he'd fallen asleep.

Ritsu hates him just a little bit for managing to seem so relaxed. “It's nothing. I'm just… not a fan of small spaces,” he confesses.

“Oh. That sucks.”

 _‘Thank you so much for that valuable input.’_ Ritsu can truly feel the sympathy being directed his way. But that's fine, it's not like he wants Yokozawa’s pity or anything. What he _wants_ is to get off of this damn elevator _right now._

But that doesn't seem likely.

“I'm sure that somebody's already complained to maintenance about the elevator being stuck, so hopefully they'll try to fix this thing quickly,” Yokozawa says with all the emotion as someone reciting a particularly uninteresting script.

Ritsu's panic abates slightly, in favor of being replaced by confusion. _‘Is he… trying to make me feel better?’_ Maybe the elevator had taken them to some alternate dimension.

Yokozawa huffs at Ritsu's baffled expression. “What? You looked like you were about to pass out. And just for the record, I don't want to be stuck here any more than you do.”

 _‘And, he's back to normal.’_ Yokozawa’s surly attitude is a bit disheartening, but at least it's predictable. The idea of him trying to be _nice_ , however, is decidedly unnerving.  _‘I wish Masamune was here.’_ Ritsu banishes that intrusive thought away the second it floats through his mind. Masamune is the one that got him into this mess in the first place!

Well, not really, but it's the principle of the thing.

Irritated as he may be though, Ritsu knows that he needs to inform his boss about the manuscripts being delayed. He just hopes there's enough signal for his phone to send a message.

_11:43 AM_

_Tell the printers the manuscripts are going to be a little late. I got stuck in the elevator._

_11:43 AM_

_With Yokozawa._

_11:44 AM_

_In case you were wondering, he still hates me._

Masamune replies suspiciously quickly. Ritsu makes a mental note to scold him for checking his cell phone at work later.

_11:44 AM_

_How the hell did you manage that? The printers will get over it. And Yokozawa does not hate you._

_11:45 AM_

_Okay, maybe he does hate you a little._  

_11:45 AM_

_Wow, you are so helpful._

_11:46 AM_

_I try._  

Ritsu tightens his grip on his phone so much that it almost snaps in two. Dating or not, that jerk _really_ likes to test his patience.

Yokozawa snorts. “Talking to Masamune,” he asks knowingly.

Ritsu snaps his phone shut with a rush of satisfaction, and pointedly ignores his rapidly heating cheeks. “Was it that obvious?” He braces himself for some scathing response.

But Yokozawa merely shakes his head. “No. I'm just painfully familiar with the expression of someone who has to put up with Masamune Takano being a smartass.”

 _‘Oh, that's right.’_ With how much Ritsu actively tries to avoid him, he forgets that Yokozawa has been Masamune's best, and possibly only friend, for a number of years.

“How's he doing, by the way?”

“He's fine.” Ritsu is helpless to the small smile that breaks out across his face. “Sarcastic and disagreeable as always, but fine.”

“I see. Well, that definitely sounds like him at least.” Yokozawa laughs, and it seems to startle him more than Ritsu.

 _‘This is weird.’_ Ritsu and Yokozawa have been imprisoned for nearly half an hour now, and it's officially the longest time they've ever been alone together. Perhaps they're finally making some progress?

“You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.” Yokozawa straightens up and stares at Ritsu with a curious glint in his eyes.

Ritsu hums questioningly, wariness creeping into his stomach.  

“It's not like this changes anything,” Yokozawa informs him matter-of-factly, “but when you were always going on and on about how you got hurt when the two of you broke up in high school, what did you mean?”

Ritsu's eyes widen. An invisible fist closes around his heart and threatens to crush it. “Why do you… Where the hell did that come from,” he demands in bewilderment.

Yokozawa just shrugs. “I'm just curious,” is all he says in explanation.

It's not a very compelling argument.

“Um…” Ritsu stammers awkwardly. He doesn't want to sound rude or anything, but if there was anyone he would willingly spill his heart out to regarding his and Masamune's… “misunderstanding", ten years ago, it certainly wouldn't be _Yokozawa._

Yokozawa, clearly not bothered by Ritsu's obvious discomfort in the slightest, furrows his eyebrows and stares expectantly.

 _‘I don't have a choice, do I?’_ Ritsu silently sighs in defeat and roughly brushes his hand through his hair.

“Fine. But it's stupid,” he warns, hoping against hope that Yokozawa will take the hint and spare him from having to relive one of the most painful moments of his life.

Yokozawa does not comply.

 _‘Damn it all.’_ Ritsu gives up and lets his back hit the wall, and slides down until he is sitting on the floor.

Yokozawa copies him, although in a far more fluid manner. For someone who is often compared to a bear, he is surprisingly graceful.

Ritsu begins, and his eyes drift closed without waiting for his approval. “We’d been going out for a little while.” He opens his eyes again, and for just a second, the constricted space around him is transformed into the distant memory of his beloved _Saga Senpai’s_ bedroom. But then he blinks, and it's gone. “A few weeks, maybe a few months? I can't remember.” His throat is suspiciously dry.

Yokozawa’s nod to acknowledge that he's paying attention almost goes unnoticed.

“He was always so closed off back then,” Ritsu remembers. “It was so hard to tell what he was thinking. I couldn't even tell if he really liked me. So one day, I asked him.”

_‘Senpai, do you feel anything for me?’_

That unseen hand squeezes his heart a little more tightly. “He laughed at me.” His eyes burn, so he blinks rapidly until they stop.

Yokozawa’s eyes widen in genuine shock. But that's to be expected, considering that even Masamune hadn't remembered that particular detail until recently as well.

“So I kicked him and ran away. I didn't meet him again for ten years until I started working here.” Ritsu recalls the shock he felt when he realized what _Saga_ and _Takano_ had in common.

“Wow.” Yokozawa whistles lowly, snapping Ritsu out of his daydreaming. “Really?” It's hard to decipher the emotion on his face.

Ritsu nods solemnly.

Yokozawa scowls, and now it's all too easy to tell that he is furious. “That bastard, I'm gonna kick his ass,” he declares angrily.

 _‘Wait, what?’_ Ritsu is severely confused.

“That moron never told me that part. He just made it seem like you dumped him for no reason whatsoever.” Yokozawa sounds utterly pissed.

 _‘Oh.’_ Ritsu is slightly less confused now. He gets to his feet and prepares to explain that he no longer blames Masamune _that_ much. That both of them had been even younger and stupider back then than they were now, and that they've pretty much gotten past the whole issue.

The elevator, however, has other plans.

“What the-" Ritsu's stomach drops slightly, and he nearly earns himself a nice concussion as the elevator suddenly jerks and starts descending.  

“We’re moving?” Yokozawa stands as well. The two of them wait with baited breath as they _finally_ make it to the first floor. The elevator comes to a stop, and the doors slide open with a _ding_ that sounds as mocking as a machine is capable of sounding.

“There you are.” One Masamune Takano is revealed. His tone is serious, but the way his lips are quirked betrays his amusement.

“Masamune!” Ritsu and Yokozawa call out in unison. They both freeze, and share a surprised and vaguely uncomfortable look.

Masamune laughs at their almost matching expressions, and doesn't even try to hide it; the jerk.

Yokozawa recovers first and frowns unhappily. “Masamune, you and I are having words later,” he promises, stepping out of the elevator and poking Masamune in the chest as he passes him.

Ritsu waits for the expected stab of jealousy to hit his stomach. But much to his pleasant surprise, it never comes.

“What?” Masamune raises his eyebrows incredulously. “What did I do now?”

“Later,” Yokozawa says irritably. “Right now I have to go catch up on work. This little misadventure has set me behind schedule,” he fumes.

Ritsu pities the Sales Team and all of the blank documents that had dared not to fill themselves out in Yokozawa’s absence.

“Hey-"

“And Onodera?” Yokozawa completely ignores an indignant Masamune.

“Yes, sir?” Ritsu braces himself for a final barbed comment.

But Yokozawa is just full of surprises today, it seems. “You're not so bad.” His mouth twitches a bit before he rounds the corner and disappears from sight.

Ritsu is utterly perplexed. It was hardly a compliment, but coming from _Yokozawa_ , it was pretty much holy praise.

“See,” Masamune breaks him out of his gaping. “I told you he didn't hate you,” he says smugly, mussing Ritsu's hair into disarray.  

Ritsu shouts in protest and smacks the hand away. “Whatever. I'm leaving. I still have to go drop these damn papers off,” he grumbles.

“Alright then. Be sure to take the stairs, okay?” The only way to describe the wide grin on Masamune's face is shit-eating.

 _‘This guy!’_ Ritsu takes a few deep breaths to try and stop himself from following through with his impulse to punch his boyfriend. Besides, Yokozawa will probably do that for him later, anyway.

But still… “Masamune,” Ritsu says carefully, drawing out the syllables slowly.

“Huh?”

“You are sleeping on the couch tonight,” Ritsu announces coldly, turning around and walking towards the main front doors.

“What, why!?”

Ritsu doesn't hide his smirk at Masamune's outraged yelling as the doors close behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain, the entire time I'm writing this: Two bros, chillin' on an elevator, five feet apart because they hate each other and they're both gay!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Masamune's mother is a complete b***h.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't ramble too much today. I just want to say one thing:
> 
> To everyone that reads and comments on this mess, thank you all so much!!!!!! This fic now has over 1000 hits????? And almost 100 kudos?????? I'm so so happy!!!!! 
> 
> Okay, I'm done now. Thank you!!!!!! (Warning: extra long chapter ahead.)

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

Masamune Takano’s phone rings, and ruins his focus for what has to be the third time in as few minutes. _‘Again?’_ His eyebrow twitches in irritation. He's honestly getting ready to chuck the device out the nearest window. 

“What does she _want,_ ” he hisses under his breath. The woman persistently contacting him _knows_ that he has absolutely no desire to speak with her. He'd told her as much. Many times. Clearly, though, she does not care. Which isn't too surprising; she never had cared much for his wishes, after all. 

“-kano. Takano!”

Masamune sighs at the familiar voice that cuts through his thoughts, and has no problem ignoring his phone in favor of directing his attention to look at his much more appealing boyfriend. 

Ritsu frowns. Apparently, he does not share the sentiment. “If you're going to continue receiving personal calls at work, at least put your phone on silent,” he says peevishly.

 _‘Well well, look who's getting bold.’_ Masamune allows a smile to flicker across his face. He has a certain hobby you see, and Ritsu has just given him the perfect opportunity to indulge in it.

“Oh, and why should I do that?” 

Ritsu; naive, sweet, workaholic Ritsu, is adamant about keeping “professional distance” between the two of them while they're at work.

Masamune is adamant about _not_ keeping “professional distance”. It's quite enjoyable making his dear Ritsu lose his oh-so-strict composure at places other than home. It's his own fault, really. He's just far too enticing when he's flustered. Case in point… 

“Because it's annoying,” Ritsu snaps sternly, but his face is traitorously turning a conspicuous red. 

 _‘Way too easy.’_ Masamune carefully keeps his expression as neutral as possible.  

“Could it be that you're jealous?” 

“ _What_?” Predictably, Ritsu's eyes widen before narrowing warningly. “Of course not!”  

“I understand,” Masamune continues as if he hadn't heard anything. “ But I promise, no matter how many admirers I have, my heart will always belong only to you.” 

Ritsu's face turns even redder, and he sputters incoherently for e few moments. 

“Wow.” Kisa snickers openly. “How romantic.” 

This causes the entire Emerald Team to break into laughter, sans Ritsu of course. 

Masamune finally cracks, and he laughs the hardest of all. He greatly appreciates the fact that everyone seems to mutually find amusement in teasing his boyfriend. He knows when enough is enough though, and he doesn't want to risk getting banished to the couch again, so he gets back to work. 

Masamune's cell phone’s repeated ringing goes completely forgotten; along with the words on its screen that make his stomach churn. 

_Missed calls: 18_

* * *

_’_ _I'm. So. Tired.’_  

Ritsu Onodera wearily rubs his eyes. He's exhausted, but right now he has one objective, and one objective only: to take a bath before Masamune gets home. Time is of the essence! 

Okay, that all seems a little overdramatic, but there's a good reason. You see, every once in a while, _(translation: far more often than he will ever admit)_ , Masamune uses… advanced persuasive tactics, in order to coerce Ritsu into letting them bathe together. Usually, he doesn't mind too terribly much. But today Masamune pissed him off, so it's not happening. 

 _‘Serves that jerk right,’_ he thinks pettily. Now if you'll excuse him, he has a nice, relaxing bath to take. Alone!  

“Excuse me.” 

Ritsu isn't really paying attention, so it takes him a few moments to realize that the clipped voice that he heard is speaking to _him._  

“Excuse me,” the voice says again after failing to receive a response. It sounds notably more irritated now. 

 _‘Please don't.’_ Ritsu stifles a groan. He _really_ doesn't want to interact with anyone right now. But curse his manners, he doesn't have a choice.  

“Hello. Is there something I can help you with?” He plasters a smile on his face and turns to see who the hell wants to talk to him so badly. 

It's a woman. Ritsu's not a good judge of age, but she looks as if she's in her late forties. Her hair is brown, and stick straight. The suit she’s wearing is impressively pristine, like it's never been worn before. She also looks familiar for some reason, but Ritsu can't quite put his finger on who she reminds him of. 

“I'm looking for my son,” she announces, and Ritsu feels another stab of recognition when he sees her hazel eyes. “I know that he lives in this building. Can you direct me to the elevators?” Her voice is all cool professionalism. It's clear that this woman is used to getting what she wants. 

“Sure.” Ritsu nods. It's a simple enough request, but he does think it's a little weird that her son didn't come to get her himself. And he still can't shake the nagging suspicion that he knows this woman. “They're right this way.” 

“Thank you,” she says curtly, following him around the corner to the elevators. “Honestly, that boy has no manners,” she frowns as she hits the button to summon the elevator. 

Ritsu is severely confused until he realizes that she's talking about her son. He really doesn't know how to respond to that, but luckily the arrival of the elevator saves him. The doors close behind them silently. “Do you know what floor he lives on?” 

The woman nods. “I believe his apartment is on the fifteenth floor."

 _‘No way.’_  

“Really? That's where I live too.” Ritsu smiles politely. “I just got here from work, so this was really perfect timing. I was going there now,” he says as he pushes the button that will take them to the desired floor. 

“I see. What a coincidence.” Her tone does not betray any surprise. “What is it exactly that you do for work?” 

“Well…” Ritsu hides his grimace. “I used to be a literature editor, but due to certain circumstances, I ended up transferring. Don't ask me how, but I somehow ended up becoming a shoujo manga editor.” Yeah, he still isn't quite used to having to explain that yet. 

“Shoujo manga,” the woman repeats skeptically. 

“Yes ma'am,” Ritsu nods. 

“What a  juvenile genre.” 

The dismissive haughtiness in that statement takes Ritsu aback. Sure, manga was definitely not his first choice, but he likes his job quite a bit, thank you very much; people he doesn't know insulting it does not sit well with him. 

The elevator stops, and the doors open. She steps off first, and Ritsu follows; keeping a bit more distance between them now. He kind of hopes that she’ll start walking in the other direction now, but of course she falls into step with him, and they walk down the hallway together. 

 _‘I guess her son's apartment is this way too. How lucky.’_ Ritsu sneaks a glance at her out of the corner of his eye. Her eyebrows are furrowed on thought, and her hazel eyes are distant. The expression makes his heart jump because he's seen it before. He _knows_ this woman; he just can't figure out how. _‘I’m acting ridiculous. I've never met her in my life.’_  

Ritsu is ready to pass this whole strange experience off as his tired mind playing tricks on him when he comes to a stop outside the front of his apartment. 

But then the woman stops as well. 

“Um, did you still need help?” Ritsu definitely has no desire to provide any further assistance to this rude, and awfully familiar woman, but again: manners.   

“No, I'm fine. Thank you for taking me all this way. You can go home now.” She nods once stiffly. “This is his place, so I'll just stay here and wait for him to get home,” she says matter-of-factly. 

Ritsu hesitates and tries to think of a nice way to explain that this is _his_ house; that she has the wrong address, when suddenly a puzzle piece falls into place in his mind.  

 _‘No way.’_ His stomach weighs heavily with suspicion, and he thinks he's finally realized who this woman is. But he asks anyway, just to make sure.  

“Um, if you don't mind me asking, exactly what is your son's name?" 

The answer is already painfully obvious to him though, and now the only thing he can't figure out is how the hell it took him so long to put it together. Those hazel eyes, and that far away expression? He felt like he has seen them before because he _had_ seen them before; just on a different face.

“Well, I suppose he goes by Takano now, but it really should be Saga,” the woman states grudgingly. “His given name is Masamune.” 

Any doubts Ritsu had left over are blown away with a force that leaves him feeling lightheaded. 

“Why, do you know him,” she asks sharply. 

 _‘Yeah, you could say that.’_ They know each other _quite_ intimately at this point, but like hell is he about to explain that to her.  

Masamune's _mother._  

Yeah, he needs a second to process that. 

From what Masamune has told him about her, which is not very much, he has the vague feeling that he should run away as fast as he can. Strangely, rather than panicking, Ritsu's first thought is more along the lines of _Well, there goes my bath._  

What a shame. It had sounded so nice too.

* * *

There isn't exactly a protocol for dealing with this type of situation; so Ritsu does what any rational person would do when faced with the somewhat rude mother of the man you're in love with ends up quite literally at your doorstep. “Would you like some tea, or maybe coffee?” 

Okay, so that probably _wasn't_ the best option, but cut him a break! He doesn't know what else to do.

“No.” The woman, whose name is apparently Kotoko, says firmly from where she's currently sitting primly on the couch. “I would like to know why you have a key to my son's apartment.” 

It's the second time he's been asked about that, and Ritsu still does not have an acceptable answer to give her. 

 _I'm dating your son, and we've been living together for a long time. Which is something you would know if you'd_ ever _bothered to visit him?_ For some reason, it doesn't seem like that explanation would go over very well. But It's the truth at least, and a tinge of bitterness fills him on Masamune's behalf.  _‘I need to warn him.’_

Masamune has never spoken about his parents much, except for in throwaway lines that had painted a grim picture of his less than ideal childhood.

But Ritsu vividly remembers one instance in which a rare exception had been made: when his apparently not biological father had passed away. His expression had been… awful. Lost, betrayed, hurt. He'll be damned if he lets anyone make Masamune feel like that ever again. Even if it's his own mother. 

“I… I'm not the right person to explain that to you. He's the one you should ask. But with all due respect, I think it would be best if you waited, and maybe you should leave, and come back another time. I don't think Masamune knows you're here and-" 

Kotoko stands abruptly, and her previously calm and detached features are now twisted with fury. “ _Excuse me?_ ”

Ritsu flinches. “I just meant-" 

“How dare you speak to me like that. I don't know who you think you are, but you have no right to tell me when to leave my own son's home,” she says icily. 

Ritsu shivers and holds his hands up in a gesture of peace. “Ma'am please, that's not what I was saying. I only-"

“Listen here young man, I-"

Their voices must have risen at some point because neither of them hears the door open. 

“What the hell is going on in here?” 

Ritsu freezes, and his and Kotoko’s shouts die out instantly. 

“Masamune…” Ritsu isn't sure if his voice is actually loud enough to be heard, but it must be, considering that Masamune turns to look at him. His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, and his eyes are full of questions. 

Kotoko is more than happy to interrupt with more questions of her own. “There you are. Where have you been?” She demands. 

When he sees her, it's like he sees a ghost. Masamune exhales sharply like he's just been punched in the stomach. “ _Mother_?” 

Kotoko doesn't give him the opportunity to recover from his shock. “Why haven't you returned any of my calls? And who on earth is this disrespectful boy that has your house key?” It's practically an interrogation. 

Ritsu cringes. True, he doesn't really _care_ about what this woman thinks of him, all things considered, but still.  

Masamune blinks a few times, attempting to gather his wits. “Mother, what are you doing here?” His voice holds genuine bewilderment. 

“How impertinent,” Kotoko says, clearly offended. “Isn't it normal for a mother to visit her son every once in a while?” 

 _‘What bullshit.’_ Ritsu knows for a damn fact that she has _never_ just “dropped in for a visit". He bites his tongue, carefully keeping his protests in check.  

“No.” Masamune shakes his head. “Not when it's you,” he says bluntly. “I haven't heard from you in… in so long. I thought you dialed the wrong number when my phone showed that you were calling me.” 

Ritsu's heart aches painfully at the confession. He adds another bullet to his list of _Reasons he hates Kotoko Saga._ He's starting to run out of room. 

“What? That's hardly fair,” Kotoko says defensively. “You know how busy I am.” 

Masamune sighs heavily, and the sound goes straight to Ritsu's chest. “Yes, I am very aware. But you've been busy for the last twenty-eight years. What makes today any different?” His voice is completely void of emotion now. 

Kotoko's stoic facade cracks for just a moment, and she winces like _she's_ the one that's hurt. But then the mask slides right back into place. 

Ritsu's heart breaks clean in half, and he reaches a hand out towards Masamune. He's not sure what he's going to do, but he needs to do _something._  

Kotoko's face twists into a scowl. “Why are you still here,” she demands. 

Ritsu jolts at the unwanted return of her attention and brings his hand back to his side at lightning speed. 

“I don't appreciate nosy people,” Kotoko informs him. “I am his mother, but you're _not_ family. This has nothing to do with you. I think _you_ should leave.” 

Ritsu's pulse pounds annoyingly in his ears. “ _I…_ ” 

 _‘I have no idea what to do in this kind of situation.’_ But he does know that there's no way in hell he's going anywhere unless Masamune tells him to.  

“I'm sorry, but I can't do that.” 

Kotoko's pale cheeks color slightly with outrage at being defied. “You have a lot of nerve,” she says harshly; it's clearly not meant as a compliment. 

 _‘No, I really don't.’_  

“Hey, leave him out of this,” Masamune commands sharply. “I'll admit that you're right about one thing: this is between you and me.  _I_ don't appreciate people insulting my boyfriend. Especially you.” 

Well, _that's_ certainly one way to reveal a relationship. Ritsu's eyes widen, and his breath gets caught somewhere in the back of his throat. 

Kotoko appears to have a similar reaction. “Pardon me?” 

Masamune simply crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow in challenge. Ritsu can practically hear him saying _You heard me._  

 _“_ Exactly how long has this been going on,” she shouts incredulously.  

“I've been in love with him since high school,” Masamune shugs; a contradiction to his hard, unapologetic tone. “It's kind of a defining characteristic of mine.” 

Not for the first time, and most likely not for the last, Ritsu wonders how he can say things like that so shamelessly. Not that he minds really… 

Kotoko shakes her head vigorously and begins pacing back and forth. 

Ritsu thinks it's the most human trait she's shown all day. 

Kotoko shakes her head for the final time. “No, that's impossible,” she says it like an indisputable fact. “I remember very well that in high school you always kept to yourself. You knew you were too smart to associate with those heathens,” she says matter of factly. 

Disgust curls in the pit of Ritsu's stomach and the back of his throat suddenly tastes like bile. _‘Does she honestly think that little of him?’ Reason_ _number…_ okay, he lost count of reasons to dislike Masamune's mother a long time ago, but he assures you it's a very long list. 

Masamune scoffs and laughs humorlessly. “I almost forgot how shallow you are. Thanks for the reminder. Although I suppose you aren't _completely_ wrong.” He smiles scornfully. “I _did_ choose not to interact with many people back then. But not for the reasons you think.” 

Ritsu doesn't realize that he's been holding his breath in anticipation until his lungs begin to scream at him. 

“I avoided them because they were always so damn _happy_. Not because I thought I was too good for them," Masamune scoffs. "It freaked me out because I didn't understand how it was possible for anyone to be cheerful all the time. It was _weird_. I would have been perfectly content never speaking to any of them.”

The confession drives a knife into Ritsu's stomach painfully, but it eases slightly when Masamune glances towards him, and his “smile" softens into something far more genuine. 

“But then I met the weirdest one of all.” 

 _‘He’s talking about me, isn't he?’_ Ritsu's not sure if he should take that as a compliment or an insult. He'll worry about it later. 

“There was this one kid, who was always so ridiculously happy whenever he saw me.” Masamune grins knowingly at Ritsu as his face turns red. “It never made any sense, and even now, I still don't get it. How someone like _me_ could be responsible for another person's happiness like that.” 

Kotoko draws in a breath like she wants to object, but shock must have made her voice abandon her because she doesn't say anything. 

Ritsu vaguely wishes that she'll _keep_ saying nothing.  

“But I'm grateful.” 

Ritsu's chest does a flip at the honesty and what even he can only describe as pure love on Masamune's face. 

“Because if I hadn't met him, I honestly don't know where I'd be right now. He was the only thing that kept me sane when you and dad would fight so loudly the neighbors called the police.” 

Kotoko winces guiltily. 

 _‘I had no idea that I was capable of affecting him so much back then either.’_  

Ritsu is completely gobsmacked, to put it simply. An unpleasant mixture of anger, sadness, and… protectiveness(?), churns in his stomach. A fundamental fact that he had come to accept about Masamune, was that the man did _not_ talk much about his past; something that both relieved and confused him to no end, but now he thinks he understands why. 

 _‘I promise, I'll never let anyone hurt you, or make you feel like that ever again.’_ Ritsu vows silently to himself. His heart flips again when he notices that Masamune is suddenly looking directly at him. He swears that man can read his mind. 

“At this point, he's more family to me than anyone else,” Masamune declares firmly. 

Yet another flutter in his chest. _‘He can't say things like that without warning me!’_ Ritsu spares some hope that his face isn't as red as it feels, but with his luck, he's sure it is. 

“And I don't particularly care if you have a problem with it. But if you do, then I think you should just go.” 

A tense silence falls over the room. 

 _‘Please say something._ Anything _.’_ Ritsu mentally begs Kotoko. He's already lost any and all semblance of respect for her, but she's still Masamune's _mother._ He doesn't want to be the cause of any further estrangement between the two.  

The uncomfortable quiet stretches on, and on, and _on_ until it's finally shattered. 

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._  

Kotoko's sighs as her cellphone screams for attention. 

 _‘Don't answer it. Can't you see that you have more pressing matters at the moment?’_  

Masamune's face is carefully blank as he watches to see what his mother will do, and Ritsu would be lying if he said he wasn't doing the same. 

 _‘Please, just this once, put your son first.’_  

Kotoko looks back and forth between her phone and her son. There's some obvious symbolism hiding behind the choice she now has to make, but the ringing continues, and for a minute, it looks like she'll make the right one. 

She doesn't. 

Ritsu's heart sinks to somewhere around his feet when she grabs her phone and takes the call with an irritated huff. 

“Yes, this is Saga,” Kotoko greets cooly. Only one side of the conversation can be heard, but whoever's on the other end of the line must say something pretty shocking, because her eyes widen in horror. “What!?” 

Masamune doesn't bat an eyelash at the sudden loud shriek. 

Ritsu nearly jumps five feet into the air. 

“No. Do not. What were you _thinking_? How could you say that to a client?” Kotoko pauses in her conversation to pinch the bridge of her nose. 

Ritsu's stomach tugs unpleasantly. He recognizes that habit. Now he knows where Masamune gets it from. 

“Nevermind, I'll deal with it. Don't you dare; you've already done quite enough. I'm on my way.” Kotoko hangs up her phone with a growl of irritation. “Something's come up at work. I have to leave immediately.” 

 _‘After all that, you're just going to act like nothing happened and disappear?’_ Outrage and disbelief make Ritsu's hands start to shake, so he clenches them into fists at his side to keep them still.

“Then please, by all means. Don't let us keep you.” Sarcasm drips like acid from Masamune's voice, but he doesn't seem surprised in the least. Ritsu's heart twinges in sympathy. 

“What do you want me to do, Masamune? It's an emergency,” she says accusingly; like _he's_ the one being unreasonable.  

Masamune rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. It's always an emergency.” 

“Don’t act like this. You're being immature.” 

 _‘That's it.’_ The last shed of Ritsu's patience snaps.  

“Are you serious,” he asks quietly. 

Not quietly enough though, because Kotoko instantly frowns, and turns to stare at him with something that seems awfully similar to hatred. “What did you just say to me?” 

 _Danger, danger!_ Ritsu forces himself to ignore the warning bells going off in his head. “You,” Ritsu’s voice shakes, but whether it's from fear or fury, he can't tell. “You're the one that came here. Masamune clearly didn't invite you. You can't show up without any warning after… however long it's been since you've seen him, and then just leave again not even ten minutes later.”  

Kotoko is practically seething now. “You insolent brat. I already told you this is none of your concern. Who the hell do you think you are," he asks darkly. 

“Nobody,” Ritsu claims instinctively. “I'm nobody. And I know that this isn't my place, but I…” 

 _Say it._  

“I…” 

 _Say it, you idiot!_  

“I love your son, very much. So while I do know that I shouldn't interfere, I had to tell you that the way you're treating him isn't right.” Ritsu heartbeat is erratic, and he spares it a brief thought of concern. 

Kotoko's eyes flash angrily, and she draws her hand back with blatant intent. 

Ritsu reflexively flinches, and braces himself. But the expected strike never comes. 

“ _Don’t._ ” 

Confused, Ritsu cracks an eye open and sees that Masamune has caught his mother's arm inches away from his face. His eyes are narrowed dangerously, and the phrase “if looks could kill" has never been more appropriate.

“Don't touch me.” Kotoko scowls and wrenches her wrist away harshly. “I don't have time for this. I have to go.” She whirls around, and walks purposefully towards the door, pausing in the doorway. “I'll come back another time. Hopefully, there won't be any unwanted company lurking around when I do.” She glares at Ritsu pointedly. When she leaves, the door slams behind her loud enough to make teeth rattle. 

“Unbelievable.” Masamune glowers holes into the front door.

The adrenaline that Ritsu hadn't been aware he was experiencing dulls, and he takes the first deep breath he has in a while. “I don't think she likes me very much.” But the feeling was mutual, so honestly, he doesn't mind so much. “What do you-" 

Masamune, who is suddenly _much_ closer than before, pulls Ritsu into a painfully tight hug. He's kind of having trouble breathing now.

“H-hey! What's the big idea?” 

“I love you.” Masamune tightens his hold on Ritsu even more if that's possible. You'd think that after that line being dropped a ridiculous number of times every day, it would start to lose some of its’ power. 

Sadly, that is not the case. 

Ritsu's breath gets stuck in his lungs, and his face heats up alarmingly. “I know that-” 

Masamune suddenly releases him, but only in order to tilt Ritsu's head up and kiss the hell out of him. 

As usual, Ritsu's brain short circuits. The sensations of Masamune's lips on his, an arm wrapping firmly around his waist, and fingers cradling the back of his head and tangling in his hair is too much for him. His legs turn to jelly, and almost give out on him before he is guided until his back hits the wall roughly. 

Masamune happily takes advantage of the surprised gasp Ritsu lets out and deepens the kiss even more until he sees stars. He swears that one of these days his lungs are going to explode. But hey, who needs to breathe anyway? 

By the time Masamune deigns to have mercy, Ritsu is in a total daze. He's surprised his feet are still on the ground, because he feels like he could float away any second. 

“Thank you” Masamune hugs him again, and rests his forehead on Ritsu's shoulder. 

Some of the fog clears out of Ritsu's head. “For what?” 

“For everything.” Masamune presses his lips, curved into a crooked smile, to Ritsu's neck briefly, and he involuntary shivers. “And I'm so, so sorry you had to get involved with this. I never thought she would actually show up like that, but honestly, I'm not too surprised. She always was the dramatic type.” 

 _‘Pot, meet kettle.’_  

“You say that like you're not,” Ritsu teases lightly. 

“Oh, haha, very funny.” Masamune laughs dryly and rewards Ritsu's sass with a very loving flick on the forehead. “But in all seriousness, if you ever see her hanging around the building again, call me,” he says solemnly. 

Ritsu can only nod in agreement. 

“Good.” Masamune smiles and messes up Ritsu's hair even more than he already had earlier. “Now come on, let's take a nap. I was not mentally prepared to deal with my mother today, and I'm exhausted.” 

“Uh, why do I have to take a nap too? I'm not tired.” Ritsu protests purely out of habit. Now that the idea has been put into his mind, a nap does sound nice… 

Masamune must somehow literally be able to smell weakness. “Please?” He leans in _far_ too close so that he can whisper in Ritsu's ear.  “I'm emotionally compromised. And you know I don't sleep as well without you.” 

 _‘Unfair!’_ Ritsu sputters, and his face heats up a dangerous amount yet again. Dammit, it's not like he has any other option now.  

“Fine.” Why can he never say no to this guy!? “But only for a little bit. I'm waiting for Ms. Mutou to send me her rough draft.” 

“Of course.” Masamune agrees quickly. His tone is innocent, but the victorious smirk on his face is decidedly _not._  

Ritsu fights his childish impulse to kick him in the shin. “I mean it.” 

“I know.” Masamune's smirk softens into a real smile, and his eyes are full of something hazardous to Ritsu's heart. 

 _‘I hope he knows that his mother never deserved anyone like him.’_  

Non-confrontational though Ritsu may be, he has no trouble wishing for Kotoko Saga to go crawl in a hole somewhere and never cause Masamune any kind of pain again. But that's probably unrealistic. For now, though, they're okay. _Masamune_ is okay and that's all Ritsu cares about right now. Well, that, and taking a quick nap. Damn, he had forgotten how tired he was earlier.

Ritsu sets his alarm for six o'clock; he knows he does. He triple checked it. 

But later, when he wakes up to see Masamune snoring beside him, it takes him awhile to process the unmistakable bright red _nine o'clock_ glaring at him. After blinking blearily a few times, Ritsu realizes two things:

One: Masamune tampered with his alarm. 

Two: Masamune tampered with his alarm and Mutou has called him _three times!_

_‘Oh, he is so dead!’_

Ritsu's indignant scream of _Wake the hell up, you jerk!_ Has their apartment receiving noise complaints for the next half an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending is bad, but consider: I'm tired.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, guys, this is not a drill! This fic has officially reached 100 kudos!!!!! I'm so so happy!!! I'm honestly a little drunk right now and crying too much to thank all of you properly, so instead I offer you the latest chapter of my mess. Enjoy!

_I·ro·ny- A state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result._

Ritsu Onodera has never been a fan of that term, especially when he had still been trapped at Onodera Publishing, and it was overused as a cliche plot device by his authors. But there's really no other way to describe the ridiculous scenario he has found himself in.  _‘Why me,’_ he thinks despairingly, as he clutches the sheet of paper in his hands, and rereads it for what has to be about the tenth time. Just like every other time, it makes his skin crawl.

Confused? Here's a bit of an explanation: You see, back in high school -and there's no way to explain this without it seeming creepy; he's tried- he had somehow become… a stalker. Not on purpose! All he had wanted was to be closer to the oh-so-mysterious _Saga-senpai._ He's not proud of it, but it's the truth, and it's all in the past.

The irony of the situation is that now, more than ten years later, _he's_ the one with a stalker. Although this one seems far more dedicated than he had been as a high schooler.

Go figure.

“What are you looking at?”

Ritsu, who had been very busy doing nothing but zoning out and staring off into space thinking about his predicament, does _not_ shriek. He does, however, feel his soul leave his body. “It's nothing!” He lies through his teeth as he stuffs the note into his pocket so fast he thinks he should earn a world record.

Masamune lifts an eyebrow in doubt. Over time he's become quite fluent in _Ritsu-ese_ if he does say so himself. And if he says it's nothing, it's _definitely_ something. “Yeah, I don't believe you.”

_‘Crap!’_

“Well, who asked you anyway,” Ritsu huffs. “I said it's nothing, so it's nothing.”

Masamune opens his mouth to argue some more, but he doesn't get an opportunity.

“Oh, what's this,” Kisa says slyly, butting into a conversation Ritsu had _not_ been having with him. “Could Rittie possibly be hiding a secret admirer?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

_‘Betrayal!’_

“Of course not!” Ritsu exclaims, glaring at his now ex-friend warningly. But much to his annoyance, it just makes Kisa laugh. Does  _nobody_ take him seriously around here?

“My my, Onodera,” Hatori chimes in. Fake disappointment colors his voice. “I never figured you for the player type. But I guess looks can be deceiving.” His poker face is flawless; except for the slightest curve of his lips.

“I'm not!”

Mino thankfully doesn't comment. Not that he has to; his wide grin says more than enough.

_‘Traitors, all of you.’_

“That's impossible,” Masamune says airily, waving his hand in front of his face as if to brush away the absurd idea.

Ritsu's hope rises a bit. Is Masamune defending his honor?

“Nobody sane would choose to admire _him_ from afar.”

That would be a no then.

_‘Now hold on just a minute.’_

“Hey, what's that supposed to mean,” Ritsu demands irritably.

Masamune laughs once. “It means exactly what I said. You're too dense for a secret admirer. Hell, you're too dense for a _not_ secret admirer.”

Ritsu fumes, far too angry to come up with a proper witty retort.

“Too easy,” Masamune smirks in victory.

Ritsu firmly reminds himself that he'll probably get fired if he strangles his boss. That doesn't make the idea any less appealing though.

“Okay, I think we've all had our fun, but that's enough of that.” Masamune claps his hands together; smoothly transforming back into Takano. “You can all tease Onodera later. But right now I need my program director back.”

Kisa groans in disappointment.

 _‘Ha! Serves you right.’_ Ritsu is a mature adult, so he does not stick his tongue out at his coworker. But he does wad up a ball of paper and throw it at his face.

_‘Bullseye!’_

“Lucky shot,” Kisa grumbles good-naturedly. He jolts when Masamune glares at him pointedly and gets back to work.

Ritsu breathes a sigh of relief. Looks like no one's caught on to him yet. Now that the attention is where he prefers it, which is _not_ on him, he sneakily reaches into his pocket to grab the note that got him into this mess in the first place. He's read it, and all the other ones so many times, he pretty much has them memorized at this point.

_Hello. I hope you're getting my letters._

Ritsu rolls his eyes. To put it simply, he _is_ , as a matter of fact, getting the letters. All of them.

_I noticed something the other day. Your hair looks even shinier and softer than usual recently. Did you by any chance change your shampoo? I must know!_

_‘Yeah, that is_ really _creepy.’_ Especially considering that Ritsu _had_ changed his shampoo lately. _‘Just how closely are they watching me?’_ He pauses. Yeah, he really doesn't want to know the answer to that question.

_Your eyes are as beautiful and vibrant as always. Such an incredible and unique color. I wish I could stare into them forever._

_‘No thank you.’_ Ritsu shudders.

_I can't stop thinking about you. It doesn't matter what I do. I always end up trapped in thoughts about your gorgeous eyes, your silky hair that I desperately want to run my fingers through, and your sweet smile that you almost never let anyone see. Then I get angry._

Ritsu frowns.

_Because then I start thinking about how your eyes are always looking at someone else. How I'm not the one you let close enough to touch your hair. And how your smile is never directed at me. I just can't stand it. When will you finally realize that you belong completely to me? Well, whenever you do, I promise I'll be waiting._

This time, the letter ends rather abruptly, and on an ominous note. But Ritsu tries his best to ignore it. It's not like there's anything he can do about it. He hasn't noticed anyone unusual hanging around, and he has no clues to try and determine his “admirer’s" identity.

 _‘i should probably tell somebody about this.’_ He's not sure why he hasn't yet. He knows for a fact that Masamune will be pissed when he finds out that Ritsu hid this from him. Plus, this whole thing is really starting to get out of hand.

This is the fifth letter he's gotten this week.

It's Wednesday.

* * *

Okay, Ritsu's done everything in his power to avoid telling anyone about his “new friend". That said, he _has_ to do something about this.

_‘This is bad.’_

A gross understatement. This is _really bad._ Since this whole fiasco had started, Ritsu had received about two letters a day from his… stalker; god he hates that word. But today he had only gotten one. He'd naively hoped that perhaps that meant his stalker was losing interest. Then he'd found his second note for the day.

In his mailbox.

_‘They know where I live.’_

The message is only a single sentence, but it's one that makes shivers crawl down his spine.

 _Wow, I'm hurt my dear Ritsu; even after how much I watch you, I didn't know you lived with_ him.

_‘Masamune…’_

Suddenly a hand lands on his shoulder. Ritsu chokes on a scream, and jumps back; putting as much space as possible between himself and…

“Whoa, hey, easy there. Sorry, I didn't mean to actually scare you. But don't you think that's a little much?”

Masamune.

“Don't sneak up on me like that!” Ritsu snaps, placing his hand over his chest. His heart is pounding too wildly to be healthy. A typical reaction he usually suffers around Masamune, but this time it's from fear rather than… other things.

Masamune draws in a breath, no doubt preparing to deliver some snarky response, but falters when he notices the paper clutched tightly in Ritsu's hand. “Hold on, isn't that what you were reading earlier? Why do you still have it?”

_‘Well, shit.’_

“N-no way! You have it all wrong. This isn't the same one.” Ritsu only partially lies. It _is_ a different letter than the one from earlier.

Masamune frowns. “Kisa wasn't right, was he? Should I be worried about you cheating on me,” he says half-jokingly.

“What? No!” Ritsu panics, too distracted to realize that he's just being teased. “You know that I would never do that to you.” He bites his lip when his voice shakes slightly.

Masamune's eyes widen, and the traces of amusement on his face fade. “Of course I know that. I was kidding.” He promises.

 _‘Oh.’_ Ritsu feels like a complete idiot.

“What's the matter with you lately? You've been so jumpy.”

“I have not.”

Masamune quirks an eyebrow as if to say _Oh, really?_ And steps closer, and _closer,_ until Ritsu no longer remembers what it's like to have personal space.

Ritsu barely manages not to flinch; making his argument invalid.

“Something's wrong,” Masamune states confidently. “What's going on?” Concerned hazel eyes stare into startled green ones questioningly.

“It… it's really nothing.” Ritsu tries one last time to reassure him.

“You saying that only makes me more worried.” The corners of Masamune's lips turn down unhappily. “Come on, talk to me. You know it never ends well when you hide things from me.”

Ritsu wavers. _‘It's not like I_ want _to hide things from you. But this is serious.'_

“I'm scared.”

Masamune inhales sharply, and Ritsu mentally kicks himself. He hadn't meant to say that out loud.

“Scared? Scared of _what,_ ” Masamune prompts urgently.

Ritsu bites his lip; conflicted. But a part of him knows that there was only one way this was going to end. He sighs in defeat, but also relief. He's honestly surprised he made it this far. He's never been good at lying to Masamune. A heavy weight he hadn't been aware of lifts from his shoulders as he surrenders and hands over his latest “love letter”. “Fine. But please don't freak out.”

“Why would I freak out,” Masamune asks curiously as he takes the paper.

“Because I freaked out. It's _freaky,_ ” Ritsu mutters petulantly.

Masamune doesn't respond. Instead, he goes completely still; not moving an inch as he reads carefully.

Ritsu resists the urge to chew on his nails.

The paper crinkles. Most likely due to Masamune's grip on it tightening until his knuckles are white. “What the _hell_ is this?”

Ritsu shrugs helplessly. “That's what I'd like to know.”

 _“How much I watch you?_ What the fuck?” Masamune turns to look at him, and there's an angry fire burning in his eyes.

Ritsu cringes, even though he knows the anger isn't directed at him.

“Sorry.” Masamune takes a deep breath to calm himself. “But now I guess your weirdness earlier makes more sense. I know you, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you've been getting these notes for a while now.”

Ritsu's sudden silence is all the confirmation Masamune needs.

“Dammit.” Masamune pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don't know how many times I have to say to _tell_ me if something's wrong, but this definitely qualifies.”

“Sorry,” Ritsu says quietly. He can't look Masamune in the eye right now.

“Hey, no no no.” Masamune is having none of that. He cups Ritsu's cheek with the palm of his hand and carefully tilts his face until they're making eye contact. “I am not mad at _you._ I'm angry with whoever the hell decided to harass you, but I promise, we'll find them.”

Ritsu forces a small smile. He hadn't realized how much he needed to hear those words until now. He vigorously rubs his suspiciously achy eyes. “Thanks.”

“Always,” Masamune vows. “Come on, let's go back upstairs. We need to figure out who the hell this idiot is so that I can pulverize them.”

Caught off guard, Ritsu laughs at his boyfriend's predictably overprotective behavior. “Okay.”

As they leave the first-floor mailroom in favor of the comfort provided by their own apartment, neither of them notice the lone figure step out of the supply closet, glaring darkly.

He heard every word his lovely Ritsu and that damnable Takano said about him, and he is not pleased.

* * *

The back of Ritsu's neck prickles. It feels like somebody is watching him.

 _‘Oh yeah, someone_ is _watching me.’_ He’d been so busy with work that he almost forgot. And his … ugh, _stalker -_ wow, he still hates that word with a passion- hasn't sent the usual message today. He wonders why that is. _‘Maybe they finally gave up?’_ No, that doesn't seem right. A cold fist of foreboding squeezes his stomach.

“Excuse me, I'm looking for Onodera?”

Ritsu suppresses a groan. Can't he catch a break? _‘Onodera's not here right now. He's at home reading a book. Please leave a message.’_

“I'm Onodera. Can I help you?”

The man hovering in the entrance of the Emerald Department smiles pleasantly. His eyes are the same color as his short dark brown hair. At first glance, he seems to be about the same age as Ritsu. “Sorry to disturb you, but there's a visitor for you downstairs. She claims that she's your fiancée?”

 _‘An?!’_ There's no way. She would have called him if she were coming to see him. And she knows very well that they are no longer engaged. Something doesn't seem right.

“She's also throwing quite the fit. It would be greatly appreciated if you would please escort her to somewhere less public.”

 _‘Ugh, screw it.’_ If An really is somewhere downstairs making a scene, there's no way in hell there's not a good reason. Ritsu's heart skips a beat. _‘Oh god, I hope my mother hasn't done anything to her.’_

That's it, he's going.

“I'm so sorry,” Ritsu apologizes as he stands up from his desk. He directs a short bow towards Hatori. “This shouldn't take me long. Takano is still at the meeting, but if he happens to get back before me, please explain where I went.”

“Of course.” Hatori agrees quickly. “I hope your friend is okay.”

_‘So do I.’_

“If you would please follow me.” The man's voice is suddenly much closer than before.

Ritsu flinches. When the hell did the guy get so close? “R-right.” He takes as big a step away as possible in order to regain some semblance of personal space.

The man doesn't seem to like that much. His jaw tightens a little bit, and something worrying flashes in his eyes. It only lasts a split second though, and Ritsu almost believes he imagined it.

_‘I have a bad feeling about this.’_

* * *

Ritsu's not sure what he was expecting when he stepped out of the elevator doors onto the first floor.

An hysterically looking for him? Severely unlikely, but not impossible. His mother? Even though Ritsu hadn't spoken to his parents in quite a while, he wouldn't put it past her. Being led _away_ from the main lobby and into a small, empty side room? Yeah, not what he'd had in mind.

”Uh, where's An?” Where's _anyone_ for that matter?

The man closes the door behind them with a soft _click_ that sounds far too sinister for this situation. “Who?”

Bright red flags wave around wildly inside Ritsu's mind. “The girl you said was asking for me. Where is she?” He slowly takes a step backward.

“Oh, so that was her name. I knew I had forgotten something.” The man turns away from the door, and each step he takes across the tiled floor goes along in perfect synchronization with Ritsu's racing heartbeat.

 _‘I need to leave.’_ His only escape route is cut off, though, when he realizes that suddenly he can't move away any further. He's unintentionally backed himself into a corner.

“I'm sorry I lied to you, but you left me no choice.”

_‘Wait, this guy is…’_

“Did you, my dear Ritsu?”

 _‘Oh, you've got to be kidding me.’_ Ritsu mentally kicks himself for being such an idiot. He literally followed his stalker into a room with no other people in sight. Masamune will _never_ let him live this down. But strangely, now that he has a face to go along with the previously anonymous subject of his apprehension, he finds that the fear is fading somewhat.

“So you're the one that's been sending me the notes.” Ritsu's voice comes out shakier than he would like. Don't get him wrong, he's still scared as hell, but now his irritation is balancing it out nicely. “Why? I don't even know your name. What the hell makes _me_ so interesting to you,” he demands.

The man doesn't even look phased. “I could never put into words how incredibly fascinating I find you.” His eyes glitter with awe. He reaches out, and just barely brushes the tips of Ritsu’s bangs. “You're so kind-hearted. And beautiful,” he breathes.

The unexpected touch sends waves of repulsion rolling in Ritsu's stomach. “Don't touch me!” He smacks the hand away.

The man winces, looking remarkably similar to a scolded child.

“I don't know who gave you all these misconceptions about me, but they're wrong. This whole thing has gone on long enough.” Ritsu pushes the man away from himself by the chest.

His eyes widen in surprise, and he stumbles back a few steps.

Ritsu allows himself to feel a bit of pride. He will never admit this, but being… vertically challenged, can have its advantages. Such as being constantly underestimated. ”Look, you've had your fun, but I'm going to leave now. If you continue to follow me, or keep sending me weird letters, I will call the police,” he promises as he walks purposefully towards the door.

 _‘I can't believe I let myself get behind on work for this.’_ Oh well, at least now he can relax a little-

“Wait, please!” The man’s voice is desperate. He grabs Ritsu's wrist and yanks him into a constricting embrace.

Ritsu chokes on a breath and his heart stops completely for a second, before his fight or flight instinct kicks in, and causes it to speed up to about a million beats per minute.

Okay so that's probably an exaggeration, but that's what it feels like.

“I said don't touch me!” Ritsu uses the palms of his hands to push the man away yet again. This time, though, he uses more force, and loses his balance. Which would have been fine, were it not for the table being in the path between him and the floor. Excruciating pain explodes behind his eyes and at the base of his neck as he somehow manages to hit the back of his head on the corner of said table when he falls.

He'll be honest: to this day, he's still fuzzy on the details of exactly what happens after that. He thinks it goes something like this:

“Ritsu?” The door opens, but neither of the room's occupants acknowledges it. “Are you in here?”

Hey, Ritsu knows that voice, doesn't he? He thinks he does. It sounds _so_ familiar. And nice. He likes that voice. Why does his head hurt so much? Eh, who cares? He's gonna take a nap.

“Ritsu!”

 _‘Me?’_ Ritsu doesn't like how the voice sounds now; upset and… worried? Yeah, he liked it better before, when it was calmer.

“What did you do to him,” te voice demands angrily.

“I didn't do anything, I swear,” a different voice, one Ritsu definitely does not like, says hastily. “Is he okay?”

A cold hand touches Ritsu's arm for a second, but then in another second, it's gone.

_“Get. Your hands. Off of him.”_

Ritsu shivers. He doesn't know why the nice voice sounds angry, but he wants to make it stop. “Hey, I'm fine.” He tries to sit up, but the white-hot flash of pain in his skull warns him that it's not a good idea. He does it anyway. “I'm fine,” he says again.

“Thank goodness. You almost gave me a heart attack, you know that?” A hand, much warmer than the other one, goes around the back of Ritsu's waist and helps him stand up. “Careful now.”

Ritsu comes to his senses just enough to recognize Masamune's worried expression. “What are you doing here?”

Masamune huffs. “That's gratitude for you. Hatori told me you led the office earlier and had been gone for awhile,” he explains. “It wasn't that hard to find you. You're never exactly quiet.”

Ritsu is offended, but he's too dazed to argue right now.

Masamune turns his head to pin the other person in the room with a glare. “So tell me,” he starts conversationally. “Am I right in assuming that you're the one who's been stalking my boyfriend?”

“No!” The man denies quickly. “I just…”

“Stalked him,” Masamune says firmly.

The man doesn't say anything else in his defense.

“I see.”

It's hard for Ritsu to determine the emotion in Masamune's voice. Whatever it is, he's just glad it's not aimed at him.

“Are you okay to stand now,” Masamune asks him softly.

Ritsu starts. He'd forgotten that Masamune was supporting him. “I told you, I'm fine.” He steps out of Masamune's hold to prove his point.

A brief smile flickers across Masamune's face. “Good.” Then the smile melts away into a frown. Without another word, He turns around quick as lightning and grabs the man who had been staring at them silently by the collar.

His eyes widen in shock. “H-hey, let me go.”

“Not a chance.” Masamune scoffs. “Now listen closely. Because I'll only say this once.” His tone drips ice and venom. “You were just a faceless boogeyman before, so I couldn't do anything. But now I know what you look like.”

The man shivers. He looks absolutely terrified.

Ritsu can't bring himself to spare any sympathy.

“If I, _ever,_ see you again, and especially anywhere near him,” Masamune gestures towards Ritsu, “You are a dead man walking. Do you understand me?”

The man nods and lets out a rather pathetic whimper.

“Good,” Masamune smirks darkly. Then, faster than he can blink, he clenches his hand into a fist and drives it into the man's stomach mercilessly. “That's for following him around like an obsessed creep and making him feel uncomfortable.”

A strangled gasp escapes the man's lips as he drops to his knees, and dry heaves onto the floor.

Ritsu winces. Now he feels just a little sympathetic.

The man unsteadily attempts to get to his feet, but Masamune kicks his feet out from underneath him before he can fully stand; sending him sprawling back to the floor.

 _“That_ was for me. I understand that he's completely irresistible quite well. But that's why _I'm_ dating him. Don't forget that.”

The man responds with a weak nod and another heave.

Masamune wrinkles his nose in disgust. "Let's get out of here, yeah?” He walks to the exit and holds the door open.

Ritsu doesn't need to be told twice. He nods vigorously, but cringes when it causes a sharp stab of pain at the back of his head.

Masamune frowns. “Okay, scratch that. You're going home.”

 _‘But what about work?’_ Ritsu opens his mouth to protest.

“And if you say anything about work I'll carry you out of here," Masamune threatens.

Ritsu closes his mouth. _‘I've clearly been spending too much time around him,'_ he decides as he walks through the door. The _click_ it makes when it shuts behind them fills him with a sense of peace he hasn't felt since before this disaster began.

“Are you hurt anywhere else,” Masamune asks, concerned hazel eyes scanning Ritsu for any unseen injuries.

Ritsu sighs. As much as Masamune's protectiveness can irritate him sometimes, it also has its endearing moments. “No, just my head.” His eyes drift downwards to his wrist. More specifically, the obviously handprint-shaped bruise forming on it. Looks like he'll have to wear long sleeved shirts for the next few days. “And I guess my wrist, too. But that's all.”

Masamune's expression darkens and he sucks in a breath through his teeth.  _“That's all,_ he says. I should go back and punch that asshole again.”

“Please don't.”

Masamune grumbles in disappointment. “Fine. But I was serious. If you ever see or hear from him again, tell me. I'll make sure it's the last time.”

Ritsu smiles wearily. “I know you will,” he promises.

Masamune gives a little hum of approval. He'd expected some more resistance. Ritsu must be _really_ tired. “Let's just go get our stuff, then we'll go home. It wasn't that much. We'll get it done over the weekend," he says reasonably.

Ritsu stares at him flatly. They both know damn well that they will not, in fact, do any actual work during the weekend. But he's too drained to call Masamune out on his bluff. Actually, he's just done caring for the day, period.

He needs a book. Or a nap. Or both. Both would be perfect.

* * *

”You know, I just thought of something,” Masamune announces later that night. He's currently happily allowing his chest to be used as a makeshift pillow.

Ritsu hums to show that he's listening. He's not sure for how long though, he's already half asleep. He's also absently plotting the best way to make this a regular occurrence, because Masamune has proven that he is the most comfortable pillow in existence.

He supposes that if he just asked, Masamune would absolutely agree. But that would involve… actually asking. Which Ritsu cannot do. Dammit.

He must subconsciously make a face or something, since Masamune laughs quietly, and runs his fingers through Ritsu's hair; being extremely careful so that he doesn't accidentally brush the wound on the back of his head. “Don't you think it's strange that we've both been stalked at some point in our lives?”

Ritsu instantly protests that he _was never a stalker, you jerk!_ It would probably be more convincing without all the yawning.

“But I'm pretty sure that mine was a lot cuter than yours,” Masamune says matter-of-factly.

It's not that funny. It's really not. But Ritsu laughs so hard tears leak out of the corners of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 
> 
> (P.s- If anyone happens to be a fan of Detroit: Become Human, I've recently become not so mildly obsessed with it. I wrote a tiny little drabble and posted it the other day. If by any chance you wanted to check it out, I certainly wouldn't stop you *wink wink*)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Masamune wants to fight a book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is... so short and terrible... I'm sorry! I'm literally more of an awkward mess than Ritsu and I c a n n o t write kissing scenes to save my life. But I needed the fluff. I tried!

Masamune Takano is dissatisfied. It's a rare day off for him and Ritsu, but he's so irritated that he can't even enjoy it; which makes him even more dissatisfied. _'_ _Why is he ignoring me?’_

Wait, that's a trick question. Masamune knows exactly why he's being snubbed. He narrows his eyes disdainfully at the culprit responsible for his current agitation.

It's that damn book's fault.

Ritsu's been reading the same thing off and on again for the last two weeks. And Masamune gets it, he really does. He likes reading too. When he was in high school, he’d read every single book in his admittedly small library. So he understands why Ritsu seems to enjoy it to the extent that he does.

But that's not the point. The point is that Ritsu's done _nothing_ but bury his nose in his oh-so-interesting novel for the last _hour._

Masamune is losing Ritsu's attention to a bundle of _paper._ He will _not_ stand for this. “Ritsu.” He tries to keep his voice firm. “Let's go out.”

No response. Except for Ritsu turning to the next page.

Masamune's eyebrow twitches. It most certainly does not help matters that Ritsu is currently lounging on the couch, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and deep blue, button-down shirt that does not belong to him. ‘ _I thought I lost that shirt ages ago.’_

Needless to say, he looks _adorable._ And hot. And Masamune kind of _really_ wants to kiss the hell out of him, but he can't do that, because he can't get Ritsu to look up from his book for more than half a second.

“Ritsu.” Masamune tries again. “Yokozawa just called and confessed that he's in love with you.”

Still nothing.

“The building is on fire.”

This time there's _almost_ a reaction. If Ritsu absently humming in response counts as a reaction.

 _‘You've got to be kidding me.’_ Masamune will not be disregarded for a dead tree, dammit!

“Hey,” he says peevishly, finally losing his patience and plucking the accursed book out of Ritsu's loose grip. “At least pretend to be aware of your surroundings,”he gripes.

It's like waking up a princess from a hundred year slumber.

“Huh?” Ritsu blinks a few times in confusion before he finally crashes back into reality. “Hey, give that back,” he demands, reaching to try and reclaim his book.

Masamune simply raises it up higher and holds it up above his head. “Not a chance.” He scowls at the title in his hands that's stolen so much of his boyfriend's attention. “What's this thing even about, anyway? It can't be that great.”

As expected, Ritsu gasps in outrage and a familiar fire of defiance lights behind his eyes.

 _‘Now that's better.’_ Masamune inwardly smirks. He vaguely wonders if Ritsu has even noticed that all of his focus has been redirected from his book to his boyfriend, as it should be.

“I'll have you know Mr. Sumi’s books are always _amazing,_ and that I was very caught up in the story before you so rudely interrupted me.”

_‘Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.’_

Ritsu makes a frustrated sound and leans up to try and reclaim his book yet again.

 _‘No way.’_ Masamune quickly hides the book behind his back. He's had nowhere near enough of Ritsu's attention yet to justify surrendering it again so quickly. Plus, he's been neglected all day. Ritsu has to pay for that.

“Of course, I'm sure that Mr. Sumo’s book is _very_ fascinating,” Masamune says patronizingly, intentionally messing up the author's name so that he can see Ritsu's endearingly infuriated expression again. Just as he'd planned, The fire burns hotter behind Ritsu's eyes. He uses the distraction to his advantage as he slowly inches closer towards his so far unsuspecting target.

“Mr. _Sumi,”_ Ritsu corrects with a pointed glare. “Is one of the best authors I ever worked with. He-"

The time is now!

Masamune moves quickly, using Ritsu's surprise against him as he forces the smaller man to lay down fully on the couch. He places both hands on either side of Ritsu's head, and rests one of his knees in between his captive’s own.

“W-what the hell?” Ritsu's eyes are wide and bewildered, and his face is only a little red.

Well, that just won't do.

Masamune rolls his eyes. Why is it so hard to seduce an idiot? “I understand that you like reading, but wouldn't you rather do something more… pleasurable?” He punctuates his question with a light kiss to the curve between Ritsu's neck and shoulder.

The way Ritsu's breath stutters, how his pulse jumps at the contact, and his face finally turning that beautiful shade of dark red _almost_ makes up for being ignored all day.

Almost, but not quite. Masamune's going to need a lot more before he's satisfied.

He wonders when exactly it was that he became so greedy regarding… well, pretty much all things Ritsu. But then he realizes that that's a stupid question; because the answer is obviously more than ten years ago, the moment he saw a pair of bright green eyes watching him from behind a bookcase.

Ritsu doesn't seem like he's about to protest, but Masamune leans in and kisses him anyway, just in case. He's got Ritsu right where he wants him; there's no way he's letting go any time soon.

_‘Much better.’_

Masamune draws a map on Ritsu's feverish skin; starting at his shoulder, and tracing upwards along the side of his neck, where he can feel the steadily racing heartbeat at his fingertips, and ending when he reaches his destination, entangling his fingers in a forest of silky brown hair.

Ritsu gasps, and Masamune, never one to waste an opportunity, deepens the kiss. Like he said, he's just greedy like that.

Ritsu raises his arms, and for a second Masamune thinks he's going to try and steal his book back again. But he's pleasantly surprised to be proved wrong when instead of that, Ritsu hesitantly wraps them around the back of his neck.

_Book: 0_

_Masamune: 1_

He can't help himself from pressing even closer to Ritsu, until their bodies are flush together, and he can't tell whose wild heartbeat is whose.

Masamune's not sure how long they stay like that, but he can't be bothered to care. After all, he is a bit preoccupied at the moment. He “accidentally” drops the finally forgotten book to the floor, and absently notes that the sound it makes as it hits the ground is very pleasing. Now, if you'll excuse him, he has a boyfriend to kiss, thank you very much.

Eventually, the need for air becomes too great to ignore and forces him to pull away, which he does with _extreme_ reluctance. But then a small, most likely subconscious noise of protest slips through Ritsu's lips, and goes straight to Masamune's heart. He barely stops himself from leaning back in for another kiss because _come on, Ritsu, have mercy!_

What? He only has so much self-control. And who needs to breathe when the other option is kissing Ritsu Onodera?

Ritsu's eyes are still closed as he takes a deep, ragged breath. He's quite the sight; hair thoroughly mussed, lips bruised, and stolen shirt askew.

Masamune is more than slightly biased, but he thinks it's a good look on him. He allows himself to stare unabashedly at his handiwork. “You know,” he starts, and appreciates the way Ritsu shivers at his voice slightly, and slowly opens his gorgeous green eyes. “You are _killing_ me right now. Who said that you're allowed to look so good in my clothes?” It should honestly be a crime.

It takes Ritsu's brain a few seconds to catch up with the conversation; something Masamune feels no small amount of pride about. “This," he asks, tugging on the hem of the shirt and inadvertently causing it to rise up a little more.

Masamune's eyes instantly narrow in on the action. Ritsu's playing with fire right now, and if Masamune didn't already know that he's just a painfully oblivious dork, he'd think that Ritsu was doing it on purpose.

Ritsu must misinterpret Masamune's silence. “I just grabbed the first thing I saw this morning. I didn't know it was yours until after I'd already put it on.” He explains. “I'll give it back-"

“No,” Masamune says firmly. “Don't ever take that off.” No, wait, that's not what he wants. “Actually, forget I said that. Please take it off right now.” Dammit, he can't make up his mind. This is a very serious dilemma.

“How can you say things like that so casually?” Ritsu scowls and hits his shoulder. There's no real heat behind it though, and his face is red enough to give him away.

Masamune smiles wickedly and lowers his head so that he can whisper in Ritsu's ear. “It's pretty easy. Especially when you've been neglected all day for some pieces of paper,” he says pointedly. He pulls back just in time to be rewarded with an always entertaining scandalized expression from his boyfriend.

“You cannot be serious right now,” Ritsu says incredulously. “All of this was because you were jealous of my book?”

“Of course. And don't you agree that this was a much more fun pastime than reading?” Masamune snickers when Ritsu groans and covers his glowing cheeks with his hands.

“You're impossible.”

“I am, aren't I,” Masamune agrees, taking Ritsu's hands and moving them away so that he can see his face.

“I can't believe you.” Ritsu groans again and unsuccessfully tries to hide his face, which enough heat is radiating from that he could probably fry an egg.

“You act like this is unusual behavior of me. Shouldn't you be used to it by now?”

Ritsu sighs heavily in exasperation. "Just shut up and kiss me again,” he orders.

Masamune's eyes widen, and for once, he does exactly what he's told without question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶b̶a̶d̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶t̶ ̶r̶ ̶i̶ ̶e̶ ̶d̶.̶


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ritsu needs new coworkers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen. L i s t e n. Remember when Ritsu made that one throw away comment about having girlfriends after he and Masamune broke up? Yeah, he is a l i a r. You can't change my mind. Not sure how I feel about this chapter tbh. Oh well. 
> 
> P.s. Did somebody order more Emerald Team Shenanigans™?

* * *

“Come on, Rittie, answer the question!”

“No.”

“Why nnnnooott?”

Ritsu Onodera groans heavily and takes another long swing of his drink. He's not nearly drunk enough for this conversation. He'll need at least three more beers before he even gets close. He would also like to state that he had known this was going to be a bad idea, and that his common sense had told him so.

Unfortunately, that same common sense had flown out the window the second alcohol had been mentioned.

“Rittie,” Kisa whines, shoving his shoulder slightly.

It shouldn't make him sway the way it does, and nearly topple off the stool he's sitting on. Hm, maybe he's drunker than he thought?

 _‘Nah.’_ He takes yet another gulp.

“Kisa.” Hatori scolds. “If Onodera chooses not to discuss his private life then you have to respect that.”

In unrelated news, Hatori is Ritsu's new favorite.

“Boo.” Kisa pouts and folds his arms on the counter, and buries his face in them as if in despair. “Now I'm really curious.”

Hatori tsks at the supposedly thirty-year-old man’s childish behavior.

Mino just laughs and pats him on the shoulder consolingly. “It's okay. I want to know too,” he whispers none too quietly.

Ritsu makes a mental note to himself to never trust any of his coworkers again.

Excerpt Hatori. Hatori is cool.

“I don't get what the big deal is,” Masamune announces boredly, practically yawning in the face of Ritsu's peril. He doesn't appear to be in any hurry to rush to his boyfriend's defense, in any case. “They already know that you and I are dating, and that everyone seems to think that I'm a player for some reason. What's the harm in telling them a little more?”

Kisa perks right up at that. “Exactly! See, he gets it.” He flings an arm around Masamune's shoulder in a show of camaraderie. It stays there for all of three seconds before he removes it sheepishly at the skeptical stare he receives. “Wow, tough crowd.”

Ritsu huffs. “I just don't understand why you're suddenly obsessed with my dating life.” Honestly, of all the topics Kisa could have become hooked on, why did it have to be the only one Ritsu prefers to keep to himself?

Kisa shrugs. “It's because you don't want to talk about it. You're being so evasive it's driving me mad.” He proclaims, suddenly hugging Ritsu around the middle.

“Whoa!” Ritsu flounders and barely manages to keep the both of them from falling over. “Hey, watch it.” Geez, for being such a small guy, Kisa sure is heavy.

“Reveal to me, the forbidden romantic history of Ritsu Onodera!” Kisa commands dramatically.

“No.”

“Please!”

“No!” Ritsu says _again,_ struggling and failing to remove his leech-like friend away from his side.

Masamune hums and quirks an eyebrow in false thought.

Ritsu cannot believe what he is seeing. _‘Don't just sit there, help me!’_

Yeah, even he thinks that that's unlikely.

“Kisa seems to be awfully persistent about this. Do you think I should be worried about him trying to steal my boyfriend,” Masamune stage whispers to Hatori and Mino.

Ritsu sputters. _‘You're getting_ very _close to couch territory.’_ He silently promises with a resentful glare at Masamune.

“Maybe so,” Hatori says solemnly. His stoic facade makes it impossible to tell if he's joking or not.

Mino nods in agreement.

In related news, Hatori has now lost his status as Ritsu's favorite.

“I knew it,” Masamune states, leveling a determined stare at his employee. “Sorry to disappoint you, Kisa, but I'm afraid he's taken. By me,” He adds for good measure.

“Takano!” Ritsu shouts, face flushed in anger. It's true… but that doesn't mean he has to say it!

Kisa scoffs. “Oh please,” he says, releasing his hold on Ritsu and crossing his arms over his chest defiantly. “If I was interested in him like that, I would have stolen him away a long time ago,” he says matter-of-factly. “Don’t worry, Rittie is safe from the likes of me.”

Ritsu really needs to find new coworkers. He can't deal with this anymore. Maybe another drink will help.

“Good to know,” Masamune says, taking a sip from his glass.

“Besides, I'm taken too,” Kisa announces nonchalantly.

“What!?” Ritsu had not been expecting that at all. Damn, now he kind of understands Kisa's curiosity.

Even Masamune and Hatori look surprised. Mino, not so much. “I thought that I was imagining things when you started checking your cell phone almost constantly. No single person is that glued to their phone,” he declares sagely.

 _‘He figured it out from something so small?’_ Mino is kind of terrifying. 

Kisa nods. “So, sorry to say, Rittie, you're just not my type. Our love was never meant to be. Perhaps in another life.” He pretends to sob, but his fake sadness melts away quickly into a crooked grin. 

 _‘I'm not sure if I should be offended or relieved.’_ Ritsu settles for a strange combination of both, and another drink.

“So?” Kisa looks at Ritsu expectantly.

Ritsu frowns. “So… what,” he asks suspiciously. 

Kisa makes a sound reminiscent of a dying walrus. “So, now I've told you about my dating life. Tell me about yours!” 

 _‘And we're back to this again.’_ Ritsu really wishes that someone would change the subject already. This topic isn't something he really knows how to approach. Especially with other people. Ugh, why does he have to be so painfully awkward?

Ritsu is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't notice when his shoulders hunch and his hand squeezes around the luckily thick glass he's holding until his knuckles turn white.

Masamune does though. His eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Ritsu,” he asks, voice colored with concern. His worry only grows when he doesn't get a response. Ritsu's eyes are distant, and he looks like he's trying to make himself so small that he disappears. Speaking from experience, when Ritsu starts acting like this, he's hiding something. He and Ritsu don't really discuss past relationships too often. Mostly because Masamune's… vast experience, makes Ritsu fidgety and unable to look him in the eye for the next few hours. But now that it's been brought up he's dying to know more. How could he not be? There are ten years of unknown territory stretching out before him.

“I…” Ritsu trails off. It's not that he doesn't _want_ to talk about his relationships- actually no, he really doesn't, but only because there's just… not much to tell. After all, he’s only ever truly dated one person in his entire life. “I need more alcohol,” he states firmly and raises his glass, draining it until there's nothing left. He puts it back down on the counter with more force than he had intended. 

“Rittie,” Kisa starts hesitantly, and all traces of amusement are gone from his face. “Hey, you don't have to talk about it if you really don't want to. I was joking, and I'm really sorry if I made you legitimately uncomfortable in any way," he apologizes sincerely.

Ritsu's shoulders relax, and his grip loosens around his now empty glass. “Thanks, but it wasn't your fault. I'm just… embarrassed, I guess?”

“Huh? Why,” Kisa asks curiously.

Ritsu's lips seal themselves of their own accord. He finds that it's suddenly difficult to make eye contact with anyone; especially Masamune. 

Hatori pats his shoulder. “Onodera, you don't have to tell us anything you would rather keep to yourself, but just know that none of us will judge you,” he promises sincerely. 

Mino nods in agreement. 

“He's right!” Kisa reassures him quickly. “And anyway, there's no way you could be anywhere near as bad as our local ex-playboy, here.” He glances towards Masamune meaningfully.

“Hey.” Masamune frowns unhappily.

Kisa and Mino laugh at his thoroughly displeased expression, and even Hatori cracks a smile. 

Ritsu can't help but join in when he sees the incredulous look on Masamune's face at his “underlings" daring to make fun of him. 

“You're all fired,” Masamune grumbles, taking a deep drink from his cup, and signaling the bartender for another one. 

“Really,” Kisa asks hopefully. “Yay! Finally, our suffering is over!”

This results in renewed laughter all around, and Masamune huffs before chuckling along with them.

When Ritsu finally manages to regain some semblance of composure, he notices that Masamune is just, staring at him; lips curved into some ridiculous, sappily content smile. It's… nice. Ritsu likes that smile. His chest suddenly feels inexplicably warm. He blames it on the alcohol.  _‘What am I so worried about?’_ He can't answer his own question. These people here with him are his friends. They've all known each other long enough that they deserve to know more about him if they want. He doesn't know _why_ they would want to, he's honestly not that remarkable, but whatever.

“So,” Ritsu rubs the back of his head self consciously. “Sorry for acting so weird about all this. I've been told I stress out about little things too much.” He sends a pointed look towards Masamune.

“Which you do,” Masamune counters without missing a beat.

Ritsu swallows his natural instinct to argue. Mostly because he knows that he would lose. “But I really don't mind telling you guys what you want to know if you still want.”

As expected, Kisa is the first one to leap at the offer. “Of course! C’mon, Rittie, you can trust us.” He grins widely.

Ritsu squints suspiciously. But despite his best efforts, he can't find any hint of deception. “Okay then,” he says hesitantly. “Here goes: I'm sure you all know by now about An.” His very dear childhood friend slash ex-fiancée.

Yes, the entire team is _very_ aware of An’s existence. Mostly due to Masamune taking any and every opportunity presented to him to gripe about Ritsu's “cute girlfriend”. Or, if he's feeling particularly petty, “cute wife”.

“She does _not_ count.”

“What?” Kisa's eyes widen in disbelief.

“Really,” Hatori says, eyebrows raised in surprise. “But Takano made it seem like-"

“Yes, I know. Ignore him.” Ritsu commands, shooting a quick glare at his boyfriend who is currently openly snickering at him. “That was something our parents arranged without our consent, and we have both rejected it since we were kids.” 

Yikes. Ritsu always forgets how weird that sounds until he says it out loud. 

“Okay, so the girl you were engaged to doesn't count,” Mino says easily. “Got it.”

 _‘He makes it sound so simple.’_ Mino is certainly a strange one. Ritsu is okay with that.

Kisa taps his fingers on the bar counter impatiently. “Okay, okay, who else,” he asks excitedly.

Masamune jaw twitches just slightly. It's impossible for Ritsu to ignore the way he oh-so-subtly leans forward to listen. He may not seem like it, but he is paying _very_ close attention to Ritsu's words. This realization does absolutely nothing to make this any easier. 

_‘And…’_

“And, Masamune.” 

Masamune relaxes, and his lips curl into a smug grin. 

Ritsu inwardly rolls his eyes. Sometimes he forgets just how possessive his boyfriend can be. Never for long though; Masamune is always far too happy to remind him. 

“Yeah, yeah, we already know about him.” Kisa waves his hand dismissively. “Who else?” 

This is the part Ritsu was afraid of. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself. “And… that's it.” Yup. Just as humiliating as he thought it would be. “Masamune's the only one.” He shrugs, trying to make his confession appear casual. His shaking hands and pounding heartbeat, however, don't seem to want to cooperate with him. 

The following silence makes his ears ring. 

Kisa blinks a few times.

Hatori’s mouth hands open just a little bit. He looks more shocked than Ritsu's ever seen him.

Mino… well, Mino’s facial expression doesn't change in the slightest. Seriously, is this guys face a plastic mask? 

The glass Masamune is holding slips out of his hand and falls onto the floor. It must be made out of some magical substance considering it doesn't shatter. But it does make a noise loud enough to cause Ritsu to flinch, and finally direct his gaze towards the person he's been avoiding eye contact with.

“You never…” Masamune is, for once, too surprised to articulate his words. 

Ritsu's known him for over ten years, but this is the first time he's ever seen Masamune rendered totally speechless. His eyes are blown wide, and he looks as if he's just been dumped into the middle of the ocean. Ritsu would think it was funny if he weren't so busy internally panicking.

“You never dated _anybody?_ But _me?”_

Ritsu focuses somewhere much safer for his health; the ground. Unrelated note: this place has a surprisingly nice floor.  _‘Don't make this any weirder than it already is!’_ He feels like he's standing too close to a bonfire because his face is _burning. ‘Wait a second, does it actually smell like smoke in here? What the hell?’_

Oh, right; he's at a bar. That reminds him: where the hell is his drink? Wait, now is not the time! Focus Ritsu!

“That's what I said, isn't it,” he says defiantly. It would probably be more effective if he could actually say it while looking somewhere other than the floor, but give him a break! He's trying his best here. “Got a problem with that,” he demands fiercely. 

“No.” It only takes Masamune a split second to shake his head firmly. “Definitely not.”

“Good.” Ritsu still can't bring himself to look up. He doesn't know why he feels so ridiculously embarrassed right now, but he does know that it also feels like a crushing weight has been lifted off of his chest. He'll never admit this of course, but Masamune's reaction had been the one he was the most worried about. 

“But… why,” Masamune asks uncomprehendingly. “I mean, there was nobody you were interested in for ten years,” he asks disbelievingly. 

“No, not particularly.” The invisible bonfire has suddenly become much hotter; at least if Ritsu's flaming cheeks have anything to say about it. “And besides, I was hardly worried about getting myself into a relationship. I was too focused on work,” he explains firmly. “I'm pretty sure I told you that more than a few times.” 

 _‘And also I ended up with severe trust issues. Thanks for that, by the way.’_ Yes, they have both made their peace for their dramatic breakup in high school. But Ritsu still thinks that he's entirely justified in his bitterness. 

Masamune is, once again, at a loss for words.

Kisa isn't though. “Damn,” he says, and it looks like he's talking more to himself than anyone else. “That is not what I was expecting.” His face is blank for just a moment before a wide smile breaks out across it. “It's so much better!” 

 _‘What?’_  

“Kisa.” Hatori scolds, shaking his head at the man's unprofessional behavior; as if they hadn't left _professional_ behind about four beers and one painfully awkward conversation ago. ”Don't mind him. And for what it's worth, I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about. I actually find it quite admirable.”

Kisa ignores him, continuing as if Hatori had never said anything in the first place. “I'm not making fun of you, I swear. I'm legitimately impressed.” He takes both of Ritsu's hands, and his eyes seem to be… sparkling? Something that should not be physically possible. 

_‘I have no idea what is going on right now and I'm kind of scared.’_

“I don't think I've ever met a person who can honestly say that they've gone out with one person their whole life. I didn't think they existed.” He looks solemnly at Hatori and Mino. “We must protect this pure, mythical being at all costs!”

Well, as far as reactions go, it's certainly better than what Ritsu had been expecting.

“Right!” Mino nods in determination.

That said, Ritsu _really_ needs to find a new job.

Hatori sighs long-sufferingly. “I think that's our cue to leave. These two have clearly had too much to drink.” 

“Hey, that's rude.” Kisa pouts, letting go of Ritsu's hands to stick his tongue out at his much more sober coworker.

“Am I wrong,” Hatori asks knowingly.

Kisa grins. “Nope,” he answers cheerfully. “But come on, Tori, we're shoujo manga editors. This is the stuff of dreams!” 

Mino laughs loudly as if he's just heard some hilarious joke. Coming from the usually most reserved member of the Emerald Team, it's highly disconcerting. Clearly, Kisa's not the only one who's a little tipsy.

Ritsu would also be lying if he said he was one-hundred percent sober. Regardless, he won't deny that it felt good to talk about this with his friends. Maybe, just maybe, confiding in people he trusts isn't a bad thing. That doesn't mean he's ever doing it again, though.

“Do you want me to get you guys a taxi,” Ritsu asks. He can't remember if Hatori has a car or not, but he doesn't think that the other man drives. “I didn't realize that we'd been here so long.” That's a massive understatement. 

 _‘When the hell did it turn midnight, and why didn't any of us notice?’_ Thank goodness they don't have work tomorrow.

Hatori smiles in gratitude. “Thank you, but that won't be necessary. I'll take care of them.” He glances towards the _them_ in question. Kisa and Mino seem to be locked into an intense debate regarding different types of ink. Ah, the joys of being editors. “I think you have your work cut out for you as it is.” He smirks slightly and tilts his chin at his boss. 

Masamune hasn't moved a muscle. His face is still frozen into a shell-shocked expression. Long story short, he doesn't look like he's moving anytime soon.

 _‘Damn it all.’_  

Hatori stands. “Best of luck, Onodera,” he says, patting Ritsu on the shoulder in a show of support. “You two, it's time to go,” he declares sternly.

“No fair,” Kisa grumbles, but he and Mino get to their feet quickly enough. Drunk or not, they know better than to think they could possibly win an argument with Hatori.

Hatori sighs exasperatedly. Ritsu wonders if he's even aware of the unexpected tint of fondness in it. “Good night, Onodera. Get home safely,” he says as he guides Kisa and Mino to the door. 

“Night, Rittie!” Kisa calls over his shoulder.

“See you on Monday!” Mino waves until the door closes behind all three of them.

A wave of exhaustion washes over Ritsu as he stands. His coworkers sure can be quite charismatic. But a bit of warmth fills his chest when he thinks about how they'd all been so accepting, and he realizes that he wouldn't have it any other way. 

Ok, that's enough emotions for one night. It's late, or early, depending on how you look at it, and Ritsu is ready to get home and go to bed. “Masamune.” He taps his boyfriend on the shoulder twice. 

It takes a few seconds before Masamune finally snaps out of whatever daze he was in. “Everyone's gone,” he asks, noticing the telling silence not normally possible when their friends are within close proximity.

“Uh, yes,” Ritsu says hesitantly, nodding in confirmation. There's… something in his voice that instantly puts Ritsu on high alert. It's hard to tell what he's thinking, but there's an unmistakable intensity hiding in his hazel eyes.

“Good.” Masamune stands up abruptly and tilts his head down so that he can whisper in Ritsu's ear. “As soon as we get home, I am going to make love to you.” He straightens up after he says this, and continues walking as if he hadn't said a word.

Ritsu's breath most certainly does _not_ freeze in his throat. His pulse definitely does _not_ quicken. And he also does _not_ feel shivers run down his spine at the promise in Masamune's voice. “W-what? Where the hell did that come from,” he demands. He knows that his boyfriend is kind of a pervert, but to randomly announce… _that,_ is a bit much. Even for him!

Masamune just stares at him like he's an idiot. “You didn't really think you could just confess something like that and that there wouldn't be consequences, did you? You basically told me that I was your one and only.” 

That damn invisible bonfire is back again; this time with a vengeance. “How the hell could you have possibly interpreted it that way?” Ritsu will never understand how Masamune's mind works. 

“How the hell could I have possibly interpreted it any _other_ way,” Masamune asks. 

Ritsu… does not have an answer for that.

Unrelated note: Ritsu regrets every decision he's made in his life; ever.

_‘So much for sleep.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Ritsu eventually got some sleep. Much, much later ;)
> 
> P.s.- I somehow ended up rewatching Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. Again! Send help!!!!!!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hell Week becomes even more unpleasant than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only thing I have to say about this chapter is this:
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/ ¯

The second Ritsu Onodera opens his eyes, far too early in the morning might he add, he knows that today is going to be a bad day. He doesn't know _why_ yet, but the heavy ball of dread currently sitting heavily in the pit of his stomach has never steered him wrong before 

_‘I'm going back to bed.’_

It's a tempting thought, as always. And just like always, Ritsu forces himself to ignore it. He has work to get done, and he'll be damned if he falls behind.

Later, of course, he'll wish he'd listened to his instincts for once, but there's no way for him to know that yet. 

What a shame; hindsight really is twenty-twenty.

* * *

Masamune Takano has a confession to make: he hates Hell Week. He hates it with every fiber of his being. Yes, he is the boss, and yes, it's all a routine part of the job by now, blah blah blah he doesn't care; he _hates it._

The authors _know_ that their deadlines are at the same time every month, and yet they can still never seem to get their damn manuscripts done until the absolute last possible moment. They always seem to conveniently forget that the printers are constantly breathing down _his_ neck, despite the fact that he's not the one who _just can't get this scene right,_ or, _doesn't like the way this panel turned out._  

Plus, Isaka likes to schedule even more meetings than usual. He swears that the sadistic bastard does it on purpose. 

And that's another thing he can't stand: those neverending, insufferable meetings where nothing ever gets done. All that happens is a bunch of pointless arguing, and when it's all said and done they still always end up getting screwed over, because nobody ever _listens to him._  

_Don't be stupid, Takano. There's no reason for us to print so many copies. There's no way we'll sell out that quickly._

Spoiler alert: There _was_ in fact, a reason to print so many copies. And they _did_ sell out that quickly.

Idiots.

And last, but certainly not least, there's Ritsu.

Masamune hardly ever gets to see him during Hell Week. Either he's in some meeting, or Ritsu's off trying to convince the Printers to give them an extension. With their temporarily hectic schedules, they can't even just eat dinner together most nights. 

Yeah, Masamune has a lot of reasons to hate Hell Week. And so does everyone on the Emerald Team. 

Kisa has collapsed from exhaustion, and while at first glance it seems like he has no intention of moving again anytime soon, previous experience tells that he'll be back in commission in about five minutes. Power naps may or may not be the only thing keeping him alive at this point.

Hatori isn't physically in the office right now. Rather, he's on a very important mission: his author is three days past his deadline. Again. Masamune sent him with very specific instructions to collect the storyboard by any means necessary. Hatori had been quite happy to comply. 

Mino is diligently pasting screentones. An outsider would never be able to tell, but the absence of his usual smile means that it would _not_ be advisable to speak to him right now. 

Ritsu has just returned from the copy room, bearing the printouts Kisa had requested from him. He's winded, which means that the idiot probably ran all the way there and back without a break. For being “more suited to literature,” he sure is dedicated to his job as a manga editor. 

Right on schedule, Kisa's head pops up, and he's right back to work like he'd never stopped.

All in all, it's a typical day as far as Hell Week is concerned.

“Pardon me, I'm looking for Onodera?”

And apparently, someone has decided that _now_ is a good time to bother his team.

Spoiler alert: it's not.

Masamune looks up from the manuscript in front of him that had honestly started blurring together ages ago, and frowns when he sees just who is standing in the Emerald Department doorway. 

“It's quite urgent.” The dark-haired man’s neutral expression and monotone voice contrast with his statement.

 _‘Wait a minute, isn't that Asahina?’_ What the hell is Isaka’s lackey doing here? And more importantly, what the hell does he want with Ritsu? 

“Um, I'm here,” Ritsu says, eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement. “Is something wrong?” 

Asahina shakes his head. “No, but Mr. Isaka would like to see you in his office.” His face is still blank; impossible to read. 

Well, that doesn't sound good. Masamune doesn't like this. “Hey, tell Mr. Isaka that he can't kidnap my employees right now,” he says sourly. 

Ritsu sends him a tiny smile of gratitude, which Masamune greedily takes and stores away for later use as motivation not to murder anyone during yet another worthless meeting. 

Asahina bows slightly. “I apologize, but I must insist.” He straightens up and looks at Ritsu expectantly.

Masamune _really_ doesn't like this. Something feels off.

Ritsu nervously scratches his forearm, looking back and forth between Asahina and Masamune; conflicted.

Masamune, despite all of his better judgment, nods slightly at Ritsu. “You'd better go see what he wants. Just try to come back quickly, okay?”

Truly, their president has excellent timing. (Note the sarcasm.)

Ritsu nods determinedly. “Will do,” he says, standing up from his chair.

Masamune turns his gaze towards Asahina. “Please tell Mr. Isaka that if he wants the magazine to be released this month, I need my Program Director back as soon as possible.” 

“Of course,” Asahina says. He takes a brief moment to ensure that Ritsu is following behind him before he walks out of the room.

Ritsu shoots him a small smile before he disappears around the doorway, and if Masamune was anyone else, he wouldn't have noticed the apprehension hiding behind it.

As Masamune watches Ritsu go, he can't quite shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. Then he scolds himself for being so ridiculous. 

_‘Everything's fine. I'm sure that this is all in my head.’_

Spoiler alert: it isn't.

* * *

Ritsu Onodera has a lot of questions. But first and foremost, he would like to know what the hell could possibly warrant Isaka deciding to drag him away from his work _now._  

“Um, excuse me, but can I ask what the “urgent matter" is?” The ball of dread in his stomach that he’d been doing his best to ignore all day returns with a vengeance. 

Asahina’s blank facial expression does not change. “You have a visitor,” he says simply, and does not give the impression that he has any intention of elaborating. 

‘ _That doesn't sound ominous at all.’_ Ritsu follows behind Asahina silently. After such a specific and detailed answer, he’s hardly inclined to ask any of the other questions burning his tongue. _‘Whoever it is, it must be somebody pretty important for Mr. Isaka to disrupt us during Hell Week.’_  

Despite what it may seem, Isaka is quite a responsible CEO. He knows how critical this time before the magazine's release is. So Ritsu's “visitor" must be very influential indeed, for Isaka to interrupt his work.

Ritsu's stomach twists. _‘Why on earth would someone like that be so insistent on talking to_ me _?’_  

Something tells him that he's probably not going to like the answer.

“We're here,” Asahina informs him, coming to a stop in front of Isaka’s office. The door is closed, of course, so it's impossible to discern who's inside. 

 _‘Already!?’_ Ritsu curses himself for spacing out so much. He fights the sudden impulse to smack Asahina’s hand away as the man reaches for the doorknob.

“Pardon the intrusion,” Asahina says, turning the doorknob and pushing the door inwards. He walks calmly into the office, bowing shortly to the room's occupants. 

Ritsu hesitates. His feet appear to have been turned into stone; he can't move them. _‘Idiot, you can't just stand here.’_ He scolds himself. Taking a deep breath to gather his courage, he forces himself to move. Walking into the room, he also bows in greeting. 

“Hello.” Ritsu thanks his lucky stars that his voice doesn't falter. “I'm Onodera. I heard that you wanted to see me? 

Somebody clears their throat.

Ritsu's blood runs cold. Because that voice sounds _awfully_ familiar. _‘Please, do_ not _let that be who I think it is.’_  

Isaka laughs. “You might want to look up, kid.”

No thank you. Ritsu would rather do literally anything else in the world right now than that.

“It's been too long, son.”

Ritsu bites his lip. _‘Not nearly long enough.’_ He _very_ reluctantly raises his head; only to confirm his worst fear. 

Takao Onodera frowns at his son from where he's sitting in the chair across from Isaka's desk. He doesn't look any happier to see Ritsu than Ritsu is to see him. 

_‘I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning.’_

* * *

Masamune is worried. ' _He's been gone too long.’_  

He's just been released from his final meeting of the day, and he's more than ready to go home and collapse onto his bed. Or maybe his couch. He's way too tired to be picky at this point. But like hell is he going anywhere because Ritsu _still_ isn't back yet.

Kisa had left about an hour ago, mumbling something about having to cancel a date, and Mino had left not long after him. Hatori, on the other hand, had never returned to Emerald. But he had faxed over a copy of his author's, finally completed, manuscript, so all was forgiven. 

Now the only one of Masamune's employees that's missing is Ritsu. Luckily, he had been mostly finished with his final read through of Ms. Mutou’s storyboard before he'd been kidnapped, so he isn't hopelessly behind or anything.

Now, only one question remains: _‘What the hell is taking them so long?’_

Isaka has approximately thirty seconds to return his boyfriend to him. Otherwise, Masamune will not be held responsible for his actions. 

Isaka’s timer is at five seconds when Ritsu walks through the doorway. 

Masamune instantly frowns. _‘Something's wrong.’_

Ritsu's shoulders are tense, and he's staring angrily at the floor. His skin is pale, even for him. A piece of copy paper holds more color than he does right now.

“Hey,” Masamune stands up and walks until he's standing in front of Ritsu. “What happened,” he asks, placing a hand carefully on Ritsu's shoulder. 

Ritsu shakes his head. “Not here.” He still hasn't looked up. “Can we please just go home?” 

Masamune's heart twinges. “Of course. I've been ready to leave this hell hole for ages,” he jokes, desperate to do anything to lighten Ritsu's mood. 

It works, kind of. Ritsu cracks a tiny, weak smile, at least. But he doesn't say a single word the entire way home. His eyes are far away. It looks like he's in a completely different world.

It makes Masamune feel useless, and all he can think is _What the_ hell _happened?_

* * *

”It was an ambush,” Ritsu announces after they've been home for about ten minutes. He's been pacing around the living room restlessly ever since they walked through the door. 

“Ambush?” Masamune repeats, gently pressing Ritsu for more information. 

“Yes.” Ritsu's pacing speed increases. “My father was waiting for me in Mr. Isaka's office,” he says, scowling to himself. 

 _Oh._ Now Ritsu's agitation is starting to make a little more sense. 

“I just…” Ritsu pauses in his pacing and lets out a sigh that's equal parts exasperated and exhausted. “Wasn't expecting it, that's all. He falls back onto the couch, bringing his hands up to bury his face in them. 

The sight of him looking so small on their big couch makes Masamune's chest ache painfully, and he doesn't hesitate in taking a seat at Ritsu's side. “Did he say what he wanted?” He twists around until he can look at Ritsu directly. It's hardly a comfortable position, but he has more important things to worry about right now. 

Ritsu laughs once bitterly and unburies his face from his hands. “He wanted the same thing he always does: for me to _grow up_ and go back to Onodera Publishing.” 

The hurt in his tone does not escape Masamune's attention. He places his hand on top of Ritsu’s, but lightly, in case Ritsu decides he'd rather not have physical contact right now. 

In a surprise twist, Ritsu doesn't push Masamune away. Instead, he turns his hand so that they're touching palm to palm, and interlaces their fingers; squeezing slightly. “It never stops. We just kept talking in circles,” Ritsu says, weariness creeping into his voice. “I'm so sick of it,” he confesses hollowly.

Masamune's heart jolts unpleasantly. He wishes he knew what to say right now. But he also knows from personal experience that when it comes to parents, sometimes nice words aren't enough to cancel out how much they suck. 

Ritsu draws in a quick, deep breath, and, much to Masamune's displeasure, untangles their fingers to slap his hands to his cheeks. “Okay! That's enough moping for one day,” he declares, smiling brightly. 

Masamune frowns. He's very familiar with Ritsu's smiles, if he does say so himself, but this one is so fake it hurts to even look at.

“I'm hungry.” Ritsu makes to stand up. “Did we ever decide what we wanted to make for dinner tonight  or-" 

Yeah, no. Masamune's not going to let him pretend he's okay. He grabs Ritsu's wrist to stop him from moving, and lays back on the couch; tugging Ritsu's arm just enough to make him overbalance and land heavily on top of Masamune.

“Hey,” Ritsu protests, but it lacks his usual fire. “What was that for?” He attempts to push himself to a standing position.

 _‘Not a chance.’_ Masamune puts his hands on Ritsu's waist in order to keep him in place. 

“Don't do that.”

“Huh?” Ritsu blinks in confusion. 

“Act like you're fine.” 

Ritsu seems to suddenly find the coffee table very fascinating. “But I…” he trails off, and his shoulders slump in defeat.

Masamune presses on his back, encouraging Ritsu to lay down and use him as support. Both literally and emotionally. “Now hush and let me try to make you feel better,” he orders.

Ritsu scoffs. “This is dumb,” he says, but he leans down and rests his head fully on Masamune's chest nonetheless. “I'm fine.”

“I don't believe you,” Masamune says, raising his hand so that he can comb his fingers through Ritsu's hair soothingly. 

It's true what they say: Ritsu Onodera's hair is unfairly soft. And he can complain all he wants. They both know that he not-so-secretly loves when Masamune does this. 

Ritsu sighs quietly in appreciation; unwittingly proving Masamune's point. 

“You know,” Masamune starts, “I would really like to punch your dad in the face," he says in all seriousness.

Caught off guard, Ritsu laughs, exactly what Masamune had been aiming for. It's short, sure. But no less genuine. “Only if I get to go first.” 

Masamune pretends to mull it over. “Alright. Sounds fair to me. And while we're at it, let's hit Isaka too. None of this would have happened if he and your father were _golfing buddies.’_

Ritsu laughs again. This time, it lasts a little longer.

Masamune doesn't bother fighting his impulse to kiss the top of Ritsu's head. “Sorry your dad's such an asshole.”

“Thanks, me too,” Ritsu says wryly. 

Masamune knows right then that Ritsu will be just fine. After all, his boyfriend is far too stubborn to let something like this keep him down for long. 

Ritsu shifts a little, making himself more comfortable. “Is it alright…” he pauses.

Masamune wishes he could see his face right now.

“Can we… stay like this? A little longer?”

Masamune's pretty sure his heart misses a beat. “Of course. You don't even have to ask me that,” he says firmly.

Ritsu still seems unsure, so Masamune resumes stroking his hair until he relaxes. 

They stay like that for quite some time. 

Or at least until both of their stomachs rudely remind them that eating is kind of a basic human necessity. And, looks like they forgot to go grocery shopping. Oops. 

Thank goodness for twenty-four-hour convenience stores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Ritsu. I promise I love you!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Ritsu wants to spontaneously combust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written because I rewatched Yokozawa’s movie the other day. That is all.

“Takano!” A yell much too high in volume disturbs what had previously been the typical peaceful chaos of an Emerald Department morning.

Ritsu Onodera flinches at the loud shout that suddenly assaults his woefully unprepared eardrums. He reflexively turns to see who the hell sees fit to be so unreasonably loud this early in the morning.

Kisa and Mino seem to have been expecting this, as they both smoothly snap their laptops shut. Hatori merely shakes his head at the rude interruption. 

Masamune Takano, on the other hand, slowly takes a sip of his coffee, and calmly looks up from the papers scattered about in front of him on his desk. “Yes? Is there something I can help you with?”

Ritsu's eyes land on the culprit behind the disturbance, and he relaxes. Only slightly though.  _'Oh, no.'_

Kisa leans over, covering his mouth with the side of his hand. “I'll go get the popcorn,” he offers in a whisper, eyes twinkling in mirth. 

Ritsu doesn't respond, too busy watching the scene about to unfold before him. Hm, maybe Kisa is onto something; popcorn might not be such a bad idea. 

“Cut the bullshit.” Takafumi Yokozawa demands sharply.

Ritsu is glad to note that he hasn't lost his always welcoming and friendly personality.

“What the hell is the meaning of this?” Yokozawa crosses his arms over his chest and glares at Masamune accusingly.

Ritsu doesn't know why this still manages to surprise him. It's pretty much an everyday occurrence. 

“I'm sure I don't know what you mean,” Masamune says, tone cool and pleasant. But the way he narrows his eyes at Yokozawa defiantly is a dead giveaway that he's lying through his teeth.   

Yokozawa knows it, too. “Quit playing dumb. It doesn't suit you.”

Masamune's lips curve upwards ever so slightly; like this is a very entertaining game he is overly fond of playing. 

Which, Ritsu reminds himself, it probably is. 

Yokozawa groans roughly in frustration. It sounds suspiciously similar to a growl. “The book was released _yesterday._ Why the hell have we already sold out,” he questions angrily.

The amusement fades from Masamune's expression. He's all business now. 

 _‘Here we go again.’_  

“You know exactly why,” Masamune says firmly, standing up from his chair so that Yokozawa can no longer tower over him.

The iciness in his voice makes Ritsu shudder. 

“We sold out because _your_ boss,” Masamune pokes Yokozawa’s chest with his pointer finger, “thought that we didn't need the extra copies I requested.”  

Yokozawa smacks Masamune's hand away from him with a scowl. “Don't give me that. Why didn't you fight harder?” 

“Excuse me?” Masamune's narrowed eyes widen with outrage. “You know damn well that I did everything I possibly could. It's not my fault that your boss is an idiot.” 

Yokozawa scoffs. “Typical; blaming others for your mistakes. If this is the kind of half-assed attitude you went into the meeting with, it's no wonder we fell short.”

_‘Oh shit.’_

That was the final straw. Say whatever unflattering things you want to about Masamune, and he'll usually brush you off without a care. But question his work ethic? Yeah, you're asking for a Death Wish. 

Kisa slaps Ritsu on the shoulder twice, as if to make sure that he's paying attention to the verbal smackdown happening in front of them right now. But he doesn't have anything to worry about; considering that Ritsu can't imagine tearing his eyes away for a second.

“What the _hell_ did you just say,” Masamune asks, glaring dangerously. “Do _not_ insinuate that I don't take my job seriously. You, of _all_ people, know how untrue that is.”

Yokozawa’s jaw clenches and he draws in a breath to argue some more, but his opportunity to do so is ruined when his cell phone starts ringing. He curses under his breath.

Masamune raises an eyebrow and stares at Yokozawa defiantly. 

Muttering something inaudible, but undoubtedly rude, Yokozawa glowers back evenly and takes his phone out of his pocket to answer it; never breaking eye contact with Masamune. “Yes,” he greets curtly. “What is it?” 

Ritsu pities whoever the poor soul is that's on the other end of the line. 

Yokozawa listens to them speak uninterrupted, but the way his forehead forms deeper creases as time goes on tells that he does not like whatever it is that they're saying. “Enough. I get it already,” Yokozawa finally snaps. “I'm on my way,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Masamune smirks when Yokozawa snaps his phone shut.

“Not one word,” Yokozawa says warningly. “I have to go, but don't think that we're done with this conversation,” he orders, turning on his heel to walk towards the exit.

Ritsu instantly lowers his eyes to his desk, trying desperately to appear busy, and not as if he had been totally engrossed in Masamune and Yokozawa’s “conversation". He notices that Kisa and Mino have already reopened their laptops, and are typing away as if they'd never stopped.  _‘How the hell are they so fast?’_  

Masamune tsks. “I wouldn't dream of it. You know I love our little talks,” he says dryly to Yokozawa’s back. “And give your boss a message from me: I was right and he's a dumbass.” 

Yokozawa doesn't look back or stop walking, but he does toss a parting remark over his shoulder that Ritsu feels is best left unrepeated.

 _‘And, he's gone.’_ Ritsu breathes out a sigh of relief he hadn't been aware he'd been holding in once Yokozawa disappears from his line of sight. Ever since what shall henceforth be known as _The Elevator Incident,_ in which the two of them had been trapped alone together for an extended period of time on the elevator, Ritsu tries his best to avoid him like the plague.

On a completely related note: Ritsu takes the stairs now.

Did they perhaps, make a tiny bit of progress during that harrowing endeavor, when Yokozawa had confessed to no longer outright hating Ritsu's guts? Yes. Did that mean that Ritsu was in any way comfortable whenever Yokozawa was around? Absolutely not.

“Takano.” Ritsu scolds lightly now that Yokozawa is out of earshot. “You shouldn't say things like that. What if you get in trouble?” 

Masamune shakes his head and flicks Ritsu on the forehead before returning to his desk and sinking down into his chair.

“Hey!” Ritsu protests, covering his forehead with his hands to protect it in case of any more sneak attacks.

Masamune ignores him. “It's fine,” he says, waving his hand dismissively. “He'd never actually tell his boss I said that,” he says confidently.

Kisa snorts from behind his screen. 

Hatori gives a rare smile. “It's good to see that you and Mr. Yokozawa are still such good friends after all this time.”

“Indeed.” Mino agrees, smiling brightly of course.

Ritsu thinks about the shouting match that Masamune and Yokozawa had gotten into less than three minutes ago. _‘You call_ that _friendship?’_  

“I suppose,” Masamune admits with a shrug. “We haven't managed to kill each other yet, at the very least.” He keeps his eyes on Ritsu as he speaks, as if to judge his reaction. 

“What are you looking at me for,” Ritsu asks, frowning. What, it's not like he's jealous of Yokozawa or anything. Well, he isn't anymore. 

“No reason,” Masamune claims hastily. 

Ritsu, who was not born yesterday, furrows his eyebrows. “What is it,” he asks suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Masamune says again. 

 _‘Liar.’_ Ritsu silently declares.

“Although,” Masamune continues. “I guess now is as good a time as any to mention that I invited him over for drinks later.”

“Oh.” Well, that's surprising. “Okay.” But it certainly could have been worse.

Masamune's expression doesn't change as he holds up three fingers, and lowers them down one by one.

_‘Wait a minute…’_

“You did _what!?”_

* * *

Ritsu is going to kill him. Ritsu is going to kill him _slowly._

Okay, fine; he's not really going to do that. But he wants to. He's sitting on his couch right now. This is normal. 

Masamune is sitting next to him. This is also normal. 

Yokozawa is sitting in the single seat across the coffee table from them. This is not normal. 

 _‘Calm down, Ritsu. It's only been thirty minutes.’_ Ritsu attempts to follow his own advice... by taking another sip of his beer. Probably not his wisest decision. Then again, his sense of panic _has_ dulled just enough to where he might actually make it through this night with his sanity intact.  _‘Yeah, right.’_ Maybe if he says he has a stomach ache he can leave. It wouldn't even be a lie either; nerves and alcohol have never been a good combination for him.

“tsu. Ritsu!” 

Ritsu cringes, and crashes back to reality when he realizes that Masamune has been trying to get his attention for who knows how long. “What?”

Masamune's mouth turns downwards. “Where's your head at?” 

Ritsu mentally kicks himself. “Sorry,” he apologizes sheepishly. He takes another sip so that he doesn't have to look at Masamune's concerned hazel eyes. “I spaced out for a second. What were you saying,” he asks, forcing a small smile that he doesn't have enough energy or willpower to fuel for more than five seconds.

Masamune squints, looking like he wants to press the issue. 

Ritsu prays with everything in him that he doesn't. 

Masamune huffs, but lets it go for now; which Ritsu is extremely grateful for. “Yokozawa wanted to know how your latest project proposal was coming along.”

Yokozawa nods stiffly in confirmation. “You know it's due in three days. Are you even close to being finished?” 

 _‘Oh, thank god.’_ It's a strange reaction to being insulted, true, but the predictability of the Bear’s rudeness puts Ritsu at ease.

Yokozawa sitting in their living room for a… social visit? And making small talk? Yeah, Ritsu would rather have dinner with his parents. (Which is not something he says lightly.) But Yokozawa sitting in their living room, criticizing Ritsu’s capabilities as a manga editor? Piece of cake; Ritsu can just pretend they're at work.

“Of course,” Ritsu assures him. “I only have to do one final check and it'll be ready to get turned in by tomorrow morning.” 

“Good.” Yokozawa raises an eyebrow at Ritsu's rare display of confidence in his presence, but doesn't comment further. 

Small victories. 

Masamune ruffles Ritsu's hair into an even messier state than it usually is, totally ignoring his scandalized yelp. “You're such a little overachiever,” he says teasingly. But then he smiles. And that, combined with the fond light in his eyes proves to be far too much for Ritsu's weak heart. 

For his own safety, Ritsu casts his gaze to the floor; which is far less likely to send him into cardiac arrest.

Masamune laughs good-naturedly. It really is way too easy to get Ritsu flustered. (He loves it.) But as much as he does enjoy making his boyfriend embarrassed, there is one other person he likes to embarrass as well. “You know,” Masamune glances at his best friend briefly. “There's something I keep forgetting to ask you about,” he says nonchalantly, keeping his expression as neutral as possible in order to not draw Yokozawa’s suspicion. 

It doesn't work.

“What is it,” Yokozawa asks cautiously. He's known Masamune for too many years for that trick to work on him. 

Masamune's lips twitch. “How are things going between you and Kirishima lately,” he asks oh-so-casually.

Ritsu looks up in surprise. _‘Kirishima? The chief editor?’_ Why is Masamune asking Yokozawa about him?  

Yokozawa’s shoulders tense. “I don't know what you mean,” he says guardedly. “How would I know something like that?”

Masamune shrugs and takes a slow drink from his beer.

Ritsu can tell that he's obviously only doing it to prolong the moment, and to irritate Yokozawa further. He can also tell that it's working quite well if Yokozawa’s twitching jaw is any indicator. It feels like he's missing some very important puzzle piece right now.

“I figured that you would know more than anyone else.” Masamune's smile is wry. “I hear that you and he have been showing up and leaving work together,” he puts a special emphasis on that last word. “More often than not these days.”

Yokozawa glares. “Well, I don't know where you heard that garbage from, but forget it. It's not true,” he declares darkly. 

Masamune raises his hands in surrender, but that doesn't stop him from openly snickering at Yokozawa. “Whatever you say.” 

Ritsu is confused. _‘Why is Yokozawa being so defensive?’_ Even if they had been coming to and leaving work at the same time, it's not that big of a deal. Unless…  

“Yokozawa,” Ritsu starts hesitantly. There's _no_ way that he's right about this. But maybe, just maybe… “Are you and Mr. Kirishima dating?”

Yokozawa chokes on his beer and his eyes widen comically. His reaction would have been more suitable for Ritsu punching him in the face, rather than having just been asked a simple question. “Of course we aren't!” he denies between desperate coughs. 

At the same time, Masamune says, “Of course they are.” 

No. Way.  _‘Oh my god. Kisa and Mino are_ never _going to believe me.’_

The phrase _If looks could kill_ is given new life in the murderous glare Yokozawa shoots Masamune.  

It says a lot about their relationship that Masamune merely laughs at Yokozawa’s anger.

“Masamune,” Yokozawa grumbles. “I really don't appreciate you-"

Whatever it is exactly that Yokozawa does not appreciate goes unsaid, as Masamune's cell phone blares an obnoxious ringtone that Ritsu doesn't recognize from its spot on the coffee table. 

Masamune swears and quickly grabs it, looking at the brightly lit screen. “It's work.” He grimaces at his phone. “I changed Isaka's ringtone last week so I would know when not to answer,” he explains. 

The ringing stops. Then it starts up again less than three seconds later. 

Masamune swears again. “What the hell does he want?” 

“Answer it, idiot!” 

_‘Wait…’_

Ritsu and Yokozawa both jolt and stare at each other in shock when they realize that they'd spoken at the same time.

“Fine, jeez. I can tell when I'm not wanted.” Masamune gives them both a sour look of betrayal as he answers his phone.

Ritsu rolls his eyes. 

“Hello,” Masamune says, not bothering to disguise the annoyance in his voice, and then sticks his tongue out at his boyfriend; because he's a twelve year old like that. “This is Takano speaking.” 

The room is quiet for a moment. 

Ritsu can't make out what Isaka is saying, but his voice sounds panicked and rushed. This is pretty out of character for their always vibrant and energetic President. _‘Something must be really wrong._ ’ 

Mouthing an apology, Masamune gets to his feet and takes his phone call out to the hallway. 

Which would have been fine; had it not meant that it left Ritsu and Yokozawa sitting in the living room. Alone. 

Has Ritsu mentioned that he's going to kill Masamune? Because he is _definitely_ going to kill Masamune.  _‘Don't leave me alone with him!’_ He silently yells after Masamune. He hasn't had nearly enough alcohol for this.

Yokozawa sighs; unimpressed. “I'm not going to murder you or anything, so you can relax,” he says flatly.

“I didn't say-" 

“You didn't have to. You're not very good at hiding your emotions,” Yokozawa says bluntly. 

Ritsu cringes. “Sorry,” he says weakly. He fiddles with the now empty can in his hands to give himself something to focus on other than the unpleasant feelings of inadequacy Yokozawa always inspires within him.

Yokozawa frowns. “And that's another thing: You're _always_ apologizing. But why? What for?”

Ritsu blinks a few times; startled. He hadn't been expecting a question like that. “I…” 

 _‘I have no idea.’_  

Yokozawa hums knowingly at Ritsu's conspicuous lack of an answer. “That's what I thought.” 

Ritsu doesn't know how to respond to that, so he doesn't. 

Yokozawa doesn't either. In fact, it doesn't seem like he has any intention of continuing to converse with Ritsu of his own accord anytime within the next century. 

Five minutes of this torture pass. Masamune doesn't return. 

Ritsu wonders who he wronged in a past life to deserve this. 

Sure, it’s only five minutes, but it honestly feels more like five years have gone by.

All Ritsu knows is that if this damned awkward silence, which had become unbearable about four minutes and twenty-five seconds ago, persists any longer, he is going to _scream._  

Not a moment too soon, Yokozawa clears his throat.

Ritsu's head snaps up so fast a white-hot flash of pain flares at the back of his neck. He winces and slaps a hand to the source of the pain.

Yokozawa lifts an eyebrow but doesn't otherwise draw attention to Ritsu's display of utter clumsiness. “I've been meaning to talk to you about something,” he starts cryptically. “I suppose that this is as good of a time as any.” 

Ritsu heartily disagrees. He doesn't know what on earth _Yokozawa_ would possibly want to discuss with _him,_ but whatever it is will almost certainly not be pleasant.  

Yokozawa shifts in his seat. “How have you and Masamune been doing? Is he,” he pauses to cough. “Are you two… happy,” he asks gruffly. 

Ritsu's breath gets stuck somewhere in his throat.

Yokozawa is glaring holes into the floor. If one didn't know better, it would almost appear as if he was on the same level of uncomfortableness Ritsu now is. 

Speaking of which: Ritsu takes back everything he said about wishing for something to break the practically suffocating awkward silence that had engulfed the room earlier. This is _so much worse._ “That's, well, um…” He vaguely contemplates his chances of spontaneously combusting, or melting through the floor and disappearing forever. Both of those options are preferable to _this._ “I don't know how to answer that,” he says truthfully. They always say that _Honesty is the best policy._

But Yokozawa must not agree with that philosophy. His jaw clenches. Clearly, he was looking for a different answer. “Even after all this time, are your feelings for him still so half-hearted,” he demands; his tone full of outrage and something else that sends chills of foreboding down Ritsu's spine. 

“What? No!” Ritsu says defensively. A cold fist squeezes around his heart painfully. “That's not what I said. And it isn't true. Please stop twisting my words.”

Honestly, the very thought is preposterous. Ritsu? _Not_ love Masamune with every tiny bit of his heart? Impossible. He would know. He'd tried his damnedest not to, and yet here he is: madly in love with that jerk. He just needs to make Yokozawa understand that as well.

Easier said than done, though. Ritsu takes a deep breath to calm himself. “I only meant that I don't want to answer that question for Masamune. That's something you should ask him yourself,” he explains himself. 

Yokozawa stares at him critically, most likely trying to find any hint of deception in Ritsu's words.

Ritsu makes sure that he won't be able to. 

“Alright then.” Yokozawa reluctantly accepts Ritsu's answer. “I guess that's fair.” 

At those words, a soothing sensation rushes throughout Ritsu's entire body. The tension in his shoulders, neck, hands, and basically everywhere suddenly dissipates. The only way to describe the feeling is pure relief. 

“But,” Yokozawa continues. 

The tension that has just been expelled from Ritsu's body returns. Tenfold. 

“You two have been together for a while now, and you still can't answer such an easy question,” Yokozawa asks skeptically. “Don't you have any confidence at all?”

_'Confidence?'_

Surprisingly, this is a question Ritsu finds that he can answer with ease. “No, not really.” 

Yokozawa furrows his eyebrows and looks at Ritsu strangely for a minute. “You're weird, Onodera,” he finally declares.

“So I've been told.” 

If Yokozawa has any more to add, the apartment door creaking open prevents him from doing so. He and Ritsu both look up to see Masamune reenter the living room. 

To put it in terms that will hopefully be less likely to get him fired, Masamune looks… displeased, with their CEO.

Ritsu remembers once vowing to take over Masamune's job when he became a good enough Manga Editor. After seeing this, though, he's pretty sure he dodged a bullet.

“What did Isaka want?”

 _‘Hold on…’_  

Ritsu and Yokozawa grimace at each other when they realize that they have spoken in unison. Again. This is really starting to get creepy.

If Masamune notices this he doesn't draw attention to it; something Ritsu is very thankful for. “Hell if I know,” he states firmly. “That guy never makes any sense,” he mutters crossly.

Ritsu almost feels sorry for him.

But he gets over that very quickly when Masamune, with no warning whatsoever, groans in frustration and collapses onto the couch. He lets his head land on Ritsu's lap and lays still.

As in, _perfectly_ still. As in, he has no will or earthly desire to remove his head from Ritsu's lap _ever_ , still.

Ritsu's face turns suspiciously warm. _‘Not in front of Yokozawa!’_ He objects silently.

Or not so silently. Yokozawa clears his throat pointedly.

 _‘Shit.’_ Ritsu had _not_ meant to say that out loud.

Masamune laughs at his boyfriends stuttered attempts at explaining himself.

“So you're saying that if I wasn't here there wouldn't be a problem?” Yokozawa smirks knowingly.

Ritsu's cheeks begin burning even hotter, and he can't gather his words effectively enough to properly defend himself.

“Wow,” Masamune muses, sounding as if he's giving a compliment. “I've never seen him turn that shade of red before.”

“Shut up!”

Masamune laughs again. 

Until Ritsu threatens to stand up and send him crashing to the floor. Then he stops. 

Yokozawa snorts. “How ironic.”

 _‘Huh?’_ Ritus dares to look up to see the other man's expression.

Yokozawa’s eyebrow is lifted challengingly, and his lips are quirked in amusement. “Don't try and act so high and mighty now, Masamune. I'm sure you'd turn an even brighter shade than that if I told your darling Onodera about that time in college when you-" 

“Yokozawa.” Masamune cuts him off; his voice is heavy with warning. “I advise you not to finish that sentence. Ever.” 

“What? I was only going to tell him-”

“Shut it.”

Ritsu looks down at Masamune, frowning. “Now I'm really curious.”

“Don't be,” Masamune tells him, and seals his own fate. He really should know better by now. 

Ritsu had been somewhat willing to drop the subject before, but now he _has_ to know.  

It's as if Yokozawa can read his thoughts. Or maybe Ritsu is really just that bad at hiding what he's feeling. “Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it later,” he promises.

Ritsu smiles at him. “Thank you.”

Masamune sighs long-sufferingly. “What have I done?”

Ritsu and Yokozawa both roll their eyes at him in response. “You brought this onto yourself,” they both remind him.

Masamune blinks. “Okay, that was really creepy.”

Ritsu agrees. But it doesn't bother him as much as it did earlier.  _'Maybe Yokozawa isn't so bad after all.'_

“That's it, I'm never leaving you two alone together again,” Masamune declares; pouting. He says this, but at seeing two of the most important people in his life finally getting along, he doesn't try to hide his smile.

All is peaceful for maybe the next thirty minutes or so. Yokozawa acts civil to Ritsu, and in turn, Ritsu doesn't feel so eager to escape.

It's nice. Definitely strange, but still nice.

Until Masamune's cell phone rings again; playing that same annoying song it had earlier. Isaka apparently wasn't through with him yet.

Ritsu barely manages to stop him from throwing his phone across the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yokozawa does end up telling Ritsu about yet another misadventure Masamune had in college. 
> 
> Ritsu isn't able to look him in the eye for the rest of the night.
> 
> Masamune is not pleased with his friend.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ritsu is a clutz, and Masamune wants to wrap him in bubblewrap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! Just a really short chapter this time. Sorry!! Also, heads up for (very vague) descriptions of injuries, if that makes you uncomfortable or anything. 
> 
> (P.s- The ways Ritsu hurt himself when he was younger and the scars I gave him are NOT random. They are all based on actual events and scars obtained by yours truly, who is honestly lucky to be alive. I'm a worse clutz than Ritsu.)

Ritsu Onodera, Masamune has learned, is many things.

For example, he’s stubborn as a damn mule, hard-working to a fault, and surprisingly sensitive once he's let his guard down around you. (Make no mistake; all of these are qualities Masamune positively adores about him.) But there's one more crucial feature of his that one would never expect from the young editor: 

Ritsu Onodera is _ridiculously_ clumsy.

This may seem to be completely out of character for the always composed Ritsu, but please keep in mind that this is the same man who once ran face first into a closed elevator, and also managed to very nearly crack his skull open by slipping on fallen leaves littering _stone_ steps.

Don't believe him yet? Understandable. But Masamune knows the truth.

Once, Ritsu had told his boyfriend, when he was four years old, he went swimming. It should have been fun, but there was only one problem: he was four, and hadn't quite yet managed to grasp the concept of running near pools being dangerous.

He slipped and fell. _Hard._ To this day, he still has the scar. (It's a tiny thing. Barely more than an indent hiding just underneath his chin. And while Masamune doesn't like the idea of Ritsu hurting himself in any way, he does love that scar. Especially the sound Ritsu makes when he kisses it.) 

Another time, when he was around eight or so, Ritsu had almost sliced his own finger off. 

It was an accident, of course. The story goes that he’d been trying to open a package of some sort. He hadn't been able to find the scissors, so he'd grabbed the big kitchen knife in his small hands and it had been sharper than he expected. (That scar is also a small one. It's on his left pointer finger. He'd needed a trip to the emergency room, and five stitches that night.)

That's only the tip of the iceberg, but Masamune thinks he's made his point: Ritsu Onodera is a hopeless clutz.

Is there a stray piece of paper lying on the floor? Ritsu will slip on it. Is he standing still? His balance of gravity will somehow shift, and he'll nearly fall if he doesn't stop himself. Sometimes he'll space out while he's walking, either reading over some manuscript or just straight up daydreaming, and walk into the wall. 

At this point, Masamune is contemplating whether or not he should start carrying a first-aid kit around with him twenty-four seven. Such as for instances like this: 

“So,” Masamune asks as he carefully finishes wrapping the rough, beige colored bandage around Ritsu's injured knee. A pair of tweezers lay discarded on the floor, next to a few small pieces of red tinted glass. “How exactly did you say that this happened again?”

Ritsu's knee had been quite the unpleasant sight earlier, all angry red cuts and glaring black bruises. Now it's still quite the unpleasant sight but cleaner, and less likely to get infected. 

Masamune tugs lightly on the gauze to make sure it's not too tight or loose. 

Ritsu grumbles something unintelligible under his breath. He looks pale, but Masamune knows that it's just because of the shitty, eighty cent light bulbs they had bought for their bathroom. Right now he's sitting against the side of their white porcelain bathtub, which has got to be digging into his back uncomfortably. Regardless, he doesn't seem inclined to move any. 

“Yeah, I didn't hear a word you just said,” Masamune tells him, moving his attention away from Ritsu's kind of but not really repaired knee to his hand. It hadn't been able to escape the ordeal of Ritsu's clumsiness either, and it's sporting one hell of a burn. 

Cuts, burns, and bruises. Masamune had never thought that it was possible for someone to hurt themselves in so many different ways in such a short amount of time. Figures that Ritsu would go all out in order to prove him wrong. 

“I said: you know you heard it the first time, jerk,” Ritsu repeats himself, frowning at Masamune.

“True,” Masamune admits, ripping open the small packet of burn gel he'd found in the first aid kit. “But it sounded so stupid I need you to say it again so I can make sure I didn't mishear you,” he says flatly. “Also, hold still; this is probably going to sting for a second,” he says, taking Ritsu's burned hand in his own, inspecting it for a moment. The red, irritated skin looks painful. 

Ritsu's frown deepens. “You really-” he pauses, sucking in a breath sharply through his teeth when the cold gel meets his reddened hand. 

“Sorry,” Masamune instantly apologizes, moving his fingers away and making sure to be more gentle when he treats the rest of Ritsu's hand. 

“It's okay.” Ritsu's lips quirk wryly. “Sorry to make you do all of this. You don't have to. I can do it myself.” 

Ah, there's that famous stubbornness again.  _'_ _As if.’_  

“Idiot,” Masamune declares.

Ritsu doesn't seem to appreciate that very much. “Hey, who are you calling an idiot?” He frowns. 

“You,” Masamune responds bluntly. “You're hurt. Like hell would I leave you alone right now.” 

Ritsu's cheeks turn almost as red as his hand. “I'm not some helpless child, you know. I can take care of myself,” he insists, having clearly missed the point that Masamune was going to make. 

Masamune sighs. Must he spell out everything in excruciating detail? Apparently so. “I never said that you couldn't take care of yourself. But you're hurt right now and I want to help. It's as simple as that.” 

Ritsu's cheeks finally surpass the red of his hand. 

“Now shut up and let me fuss over you.” 

Surprisingly, Ritsu does.

Masamune brushes a strand of hair that had fallen into Ritsu's eye away from his face before continuing said fussing.

Ritsu groans and leans his forehead against his uninjured knee when Masamune finishes wrapping the bandage around his abused hand. 

Masamune instinctively loosens his grip. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you,” he asks, worry bleeding into his voice. 

Ritsu shakes his head. “No, it wasn't you. I just…” he huffs out an incredulous laugh. “All I wanted to do was make tea. But I ended up making a ridiculous mess because I'm such a clutz.” He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, and still won't look up at Masamune. 

Exasperated fondness and relief swirl around inside Masamune's chest. “Hey, don't worry about that. I'll clean up the kitchen in a minute,” he promises. The fact that Ritsu is worrying about something like that makes him almost want to laugh. “I'm just glad that you didn't get hurt worse.” A gross understatement, if you ask him. Nausea curls in his stomach when he thinks about the terror that had pierced his heart when he'd found Ritsu in the kitchen, surrounded by broken glass and blood running down his leg.

To tell the truth, this isn't the first time Masamune has come home to find that Ritsu has managed to harm himself in some absurd manner, and he has a feeling it won't be the last. Although it's usually something like a paper cut, or a bruised elbow or shin. Accidents really do seem to be drawn to Ritsu. 

 _‘He's fine now.’_ Masamune reminds himself firmly. He doesn't bother fighting his impulse to lightly press his lips to the very edge of the bandage wrapped around Ritsu's hand.  

He's rewarded with Ritsu finally looking up. His eyes are wide and so, _so_ beautifully green; even in their shitty bathroom lighting.  

Masamune smiles. He realizes that it probably shouldn't possible to be so stupidly head over heels for the same man who, while trying to reach the teapot living on a too-high shelf, managed to burn his hand on the stove, knock down and shatter a mug, and then land on his knee in the glass. Then again, Ritsu has always been good at proving him wrong. 

Masamune gathers the medical supplies he'd dumped out in his search for the bandages and burn gel, and returns them to the kit. He grabs the tweezers as well, avoiding the stained glass.  _Mental note: clean up the glass as soon as possible._  If he doesn't, it's very likely that Ritsu will step on it sometime in the middle of the night, and Masamune has had enough of him being hurt for one day, thank you very much.

“Come on,” Masamune says, pushing himself to his feet and extending a hand towards Ritsu. “We’ll clean the kitchen up and then we can make tea,” he offers.

Ritsu gives him a small smile, and nods. He takes Masamune's hand with his unbandaged one, but winces when he puts his full weight on his wrapped knee. 

Masamune frowns. "On second thought,  _I'll_ make the tea,” he corrects himself, placing his arm around Ritsu's waist to provide support.  

Ritsu's mouth turns downward in displeasure. But then he glances towards his knee and his arm, sighing in defeat. “Fine, that's fair. But at least let me clean up the glass,” he attempts to compromise. “It's my fault it's there in the first place.” 

Masamune scoffs. “Not a chance.”

Ritsu pouts. “You have to let me do _something.”_  

Masamune thinks for a moment, before deciding on the perfect solution. “Alright, you can supervise.”

“Huh!? You don't need a supervisor to make tea.”

“Well, apparently _you_ do.”

“Ugh, you're never going to let me live this down, are you?” 

“Nope.” 

The scowl looks like it's been frozen onto Ritsu's face, so Masamune kisses him until it eventually turns into a begrudging smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stupid injuries I obtained when I was younger that did not make it into this chapter include, but are not limited to: Three year old me deciding that it was a good idea to stick a toothpick into an electrical outlet. How am I not dead yet? The world may never know.
> 
> (P.s- Um, so, I don't know if I'll be ready to update this time next week. I'm trying somethig... different from anything I've ever written. The next chapter is either going to be *really* long, or I'll have to split it into two chapters. And it's going to be... dramatic, and tense. so we'll see how it goes.)


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Butterfly Effect (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I'm a day early!! And holy shit?!?!??!?! This fic now has almost 200 kudos, more than 100 comments, and over 2,000 hits??!?!? I'm sobbing I love you all!!! 
> 
> I almost feel bad for writing this chapter now. 
> 
> Oh well. I will accept any and all flames and pitchforks at the end of this chapter.

**_The Butterfly Effect: (with reference to chaos theory) the phenomenon whereby a minute localized change in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere._ **

* * *

It all starts, as many things do, with a knock on the door. Normally, this would be something mundane; ordinary. (This situation will soon prove to be anything but that.)

 _‘Pardon the intrusion.’ A man steps into the office he’d been unceremoniously summoned to. He’s strikingly average, with brown hair and brown eyes full of wariness. The soft click of the door closing behind him sounds significantly final._  

_‘Ah, yes. Please come in.’ The request, if you can call it that, is clipped._

_He hesitates, but eventually, there's the sound of feet nervously shuffling across the room, and he stiffly takes a seat. “You, uh,” he pauses to clear his throat. “You wanted to see me, Mr. Onodera?” The apprehension in his tone is hidden well. But not well enough._  

 _“Yes, I did.”_  

 _The man clenches his fist at his side, just out of sight of his President's sharp gaze._  

 _“I'm sorry to say this,” Takao Onodera says, not sounding very sorry at all; only monotone. “But I'm afraid that I'm going to have to let you go.”_  

_Shocked silence washes throughout the room, but it doesn't last long._

_“What? I don't understand?” Confusion colors the man's voice._

_Takao sighs, as if this is some unbearable burden he's been cursed with. “Your numbers have dropped recently. You're causing the company to lose money, and that is something I cannot allow,” he says firmly._

_The man gapes, unable to speak to defend himself._  

 _“I wish you luck in your future professional endeavors,” Takao says with a brief, plastic smile. He nods toward the door when the man doesn't show signs of leaving._  

 _He doesn't comply with the silent order._  

_“What the hell? That's all you're going to say to me?” the man asks quietly. The confusion in his voice has been transformed into a low, simmering anger._

_Takao frowns. “Excuse me?”_  

_The man stands; knocking the chair over onto its back with an irritating noise as the legs scrape against the floor._

_Takao's jaw tightens._  

 _“I've worked here,” he starts slowly, biting out his words coldly. “For_ fifteen _years, and you're just going to kick me out like that?” The anger in his voice grows, along with its volume. He's practically screaming._  

 _Takao wrinkles his nose. “I think you should leave now before I call security.”_  

 _The man ignores Takao's advice. “No, I'm not accepting this. If you fire me I'll kill you old man, you hear me?” His eyes are narrowed dangerously and his nostrils are flared._  

 _Takao knows that he means every word of what he's saying._  

 _The man starts pacing around the room, undeniably agitatedly. “I poured my_ life _into this hellhole,” he growls. “It’s not my fault that the only authors I’ve been getting lately are shitty writers.”_  

_Takao scowls. “Leave. Now.”_

_The man stops in his tracks and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I'm sorry,” he apologizes brokenly, walking towards the large oak desk once more. “But you have to understand, I can't lose my job.” His tone has, for now, lost all malice in favor of pleading. “My wife is already on the verge of leaving me. If that happens I lose_ everything.” 

 _Takao notes with rising worry that the man's brown eyes are now distant and unfocused._  

_“Her, the kids, my house. Everything.”_

_There's yet another knock on the door._

_Brown eyes blink rapidly as the man is snapped back into the present._  

_“Mr. Onodera, are you alright? It sounded like there was a disturbance.”_

_Takao doesn't respond right away._

_“Please.” He looks at his boss, silently begging for one more chance._  

 _Takao doesn't grant him one. “Call security at once. There's a hysterical employee in here with me and I need help.”_  

 _The man's eyes widen. He stumbles back a few steps as if he's been struck._  

 _“Right away sir!” the echoes of running footsteps reverberate into the room._  

_The man looks at Takao; shock and disbelief carved into every line of his face. “You're heartless,” he whispers._

_Takao does nothing to dispute the claim._  

_The raging fire reignites in the man's eyes. “You're heartless!” he shouts._

_The footsteps return. Temporarily disregarding the etiquette of privacy, the door swings open. A skittish office worker and a decidedly less skittish security officer enter the room._  

 _“Mr. Onodera, are you alright?”_  

_“I’m fine.” Takao waves his hand dismissively at the guard's question. “Just get this lunatic out of my sight.”_

_“Understood.”_  

_The man screams vague obscenities as his arm is seized none too gently and he's manhandled towards the exit. “Get your hands off of me!”_

_Nobody seems inclined to listen to his protests._  

 _Seeing this, he redirects his attention back to Takao. “How dare you? How fucking dare you!?” He’s almost out the door, but you wouldn't be able to tell that with how loud his yelling is._  

 _Takao sneers; disgust etched into his features._  

 _A final outraged how echoes down the hallway and into the office: “You will regret this, Onodera!”_  

_The soft click of the door closing sounds significantly final._

* * *

_Fore·bod·ing: fearful apprehension; a feeling that something bad will happen._

* * *

The first thing Masamune Takano notices when he finds himself looking through bleary eyes up at the ceiling, and definitely no longer in the deep sleep he had been enjoying _very_ much, is that it's really dark, and he is _exhausted._ He doesn't know what woke him up, or what time it is, but with his luck he's sure it's some unholy hour he has no interest in being awake for.

The second thing he notices is that _Holy_ shit _he needs water, his throat is dryer than the Sahara Desert._ Hm, maybe that's what woke him up?

It's ridiculously hard to force himself to sit up, let alone _stand,_ but his sandpaper mouth is sadly unsympathetic. He groans as he gets to his feet, and nearly misses the small grumble of protest that comes from the other side of the bed. 

“Hey… Where?”

Shit, he woke Ritsu up.

Masamune stills, mentally cursing his traitorously loud feet

Ritsu cuts his own question off with a huge, uncontrollable yawn. “Where are you going, Masamune?” he asks, sleep making his voice just a little bit deeper than normal.

Masamune's chest is in imminent danger of exploding. 

Ritsu, as usual, looks nothing less than angelic in Masamune's extremely biased opinion. Even with his hair disheveled beyond repair, lips bruised to hell and back, and skin littered with small marks that look none too vaguely like bites. 

Masamune notes with a proud smirk, and no small amount of pleasure, that Ritsu's current unkempt stare is because of _him._ They'd had a… rather _busy_ evening, courtesy of Masamune wanting to properly celebrate both Ritsu's latest book getting a second printing, and the fact that they had the next few days off together.

And so Masamune had taken it upon himself to make sure that they celebrated. Thoroughly. 

Afterward, Ritsu had grabbed the first pieces of clothing he could find. This just so happened to be an old, red t-shirt of Masamune's that was much too large on him, and a pair of dark grey sweatpants. 

Never one to be conservative, Masamune is not ashamed to admit what the sight of Ritsu in his clothes does to him. But that's a discussion for another time. “Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up,” he says, keeping his voice down. “Go back to sleep. I'm just going to get some water. I'll be right back,” he promises. He wonders if he should feel embarrassed, saying something so domestic with such ease. He doesn't. 

“Oh.” Ritsu slowly nods, letting out another yawn and rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. “Okay. Hurry back,” he mumbles, rolling over on his side. He's out like a light, yet again, in seconds.

And, there goes Masamune's chest; erupting into a supernova of warmth. Ritsu is honestly going to be the death of him. He wonders if it should concern him that he would be one hundred percent okay with that. 

He decides he doesn't care. 

And with that, Masamune's mission is set: Obtain water as quickly as humanly possible, then return and hold Ritsu; never letting him go. A good plan, if he does say so himself. So he puts it into action, but not before giving in to his impulse to drop a kiss on Ritsu's head. His lips curl into a smile and tingle pleasantly all the way out of their bedroom. Down the hallway, where he nearly bumps into a wall because _fuck, it's dark._ And into the kitchen, his original target. 

He spends more time than he's willing to admit internally debating whether he should turn the lights on or not, but it ultimately ends with the lights staying off. Eh, Why not? He's made it this far without any help, and his eyes have pretty much fully adjusted to the darkness anyways. 

Despite the combined efforts of the lack of light and his own piss poor vision, muscle memory helps him move about the kitchen with ease. He reaches the sink, fumbling around for a few minutes looking for the cup he could have _sworn_ he'd seen there earlier until he finds it. He fills the glass until it's overflowing, and drains it in less than five seconds. The cool water rejuvenating his aching throat is _heavenly._  He makes the executive decision, as he fills a second glass, drinking it at a much more reasonable pace, to never again go to bed without having a source of water within reach. 

It sounds good, but he knows that he won't actually do it. Not for any particular reason, but just because he'll probably have forgotten all about this by the time morning rolls around. Oh well, it was a nice thought. 

But now that he's no longer in danger of dying of thirst anytime soon, he realizes that something feels… off. The silence throughout the apartment had been unnoticeable, simply because it was an expected part of being awake in the middle of the night. But now it becomes loud; _suffocating._

His skin crawls. He can't describe it, exactly, but it feels like… trying to go to sleep after watching a horror movie. Only you can't, because for some reason you can't shake off the spine chilling suspicion that somebody is watching you. It feels _wrong._ This realization strikes him at about the same time he hears a floorboard squeak from the living room. He turns off the sink, trying his best to ignore the way that the hairs on his arms all stand at once. "Hello,” he says quietly. 

As expected, there's no reply. 

Masamune squints. Damn, he should have turned the lights on. Why did he think it was a good idea to leave them off again? He can barely see during the day. This is why he has glasses. Listening for a while, no other strange sounds occur, so Masamune forces himself to relax. One breath in, one breath out.

Honestly, what in the world is he getting so worked up about. It's not like he's some ten year old, scared of every creepy thing that goes bump in the night. He knows perfectly well that the boogeyman is not lurking around the corner. Rolling his eyes at himself, Masamune scoffs. Maybe he'd had some weird dream, and that's what had woken him up? That would make sense. It would be perfectly reasonable for something like that to be why he's so on edge right now. 

Now, if you'll excuse him, he has a boyfriend that is far too adorable to be left uncuddled any longer. So he is going to go do that, and this will have faded from his memory before five minutes pass; he's sure of it. 

Masamune just manages to convince himself of this, and is ready to chalk his moment of anxiety up to the natural paranoia that comes with walking around in the dark at night. Then he hears another creak. This time it's closer. “Is somebody there,” he asks, a bit louder this time. 

Again, no response. 

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Masamune's mind has got to stop playing tricks on him. 

Another sound comes from the living room. It is unmistakably a footstep. It's also right outside the kitchen. 

Masamune frowns. “Ritsu? Is that you?” Maybe his boyfriend had decided that he wanted water too, and followed him? 

That theory is dismissed when silence is the only answer to Masamune's question. Ritsu would have answered. 

At the same time Masamune comes to his conclusion, a figure made of shadows steps through the open entrance that connects the kitchen and the living room. He doesn't notice when the glass he's holding slips out of his hand and shatters. 

“Well, it seems like neither of us is who the other was expecting to find here," a hoarse voice murmurs, sounding distinctly male, and entirely unfamiliar. 

Yeah, that is definitely _not_ Ritsu. The hairs on the back of Masamune's neck raise instantly, and his shoulders tense. He wishes he could see. Damn, why hadn't he turned the lights on?

The figure takes a step closer. “And who might you be,” he asks, more confused than he has any right to be. “I didn't think that there would be anyone else here.” 

What?  Masamune has no idea what the man is talking about, but he does know that he doesn't like the sound of it. “You're not the one who should be asking questions here.” He scowls; a sadly wasted gesture considering the darkness. “I live here. Now who the hell are you, and why the _fuck_ are you in my house?”  

The man irritating ignores Masamune's question. “Your house? But this is supposed to be where _he_ lives.” The stranger begins whispering under his breath. “Did I get the wrong address?”  

Oh, great. Now he's talking to himself. Masamune can barely see the man shake vigorously his head in answer to his own question.

“No, no, I'm sure that I had it right.” The man's voice grows slightly louder, and more than slightly agitated. “This doesn't make any sense!” 

That's Masamune's line. “Okay, I don't know who you are, or what the hell you're doing here, but I really don't give a shit.” He injects as much steel into his voice as possible as he says, “You picked the wrong apartment to break into.” 

The man sucks in a breath of air through his teeth. “I don't have time for this,” he says, more irritation creeping into his tone. “You're not the one I have business with,” he declares. 

What the hell is that supposed to mean? 

“I know he's somewhere in this building,” he says, muttering to himself again. “I'll find him if it kills me,” he vows darkly.

Masamune pittes whatever poor fool this lunatic is so hellbent on tracking down. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Maybe after I call the cops, you'll find whoever it is that you're looking for in prison,” he taunts. He doesn't have his cell phone on him, of course, but this weirdo doesn't need to know that. 

The intruder doesn't respond to Masamune's threat. In fact, he doesn't even seem to remember that Masamune is there at all. 

“Hey, are you listening to me,” Masamune asks incredulously. 

A rumbling noise that can't be compared to anything but a growl sounds from the man's throat. “Shut up!” He snaps. 

Ugh, this guy is really getting on his nerves. 

“I'm going to leave now,” the man announces; like that's a viable option he has at his disposal.

Like hell. There's no way Masamune is going to let this asshole wander around _his_ building and terrorize his neighbors.

“Don't try to stop me,” the man warns. He starts slowly walking backward, inching towards the exit. 

So obviously, Masamune does something really stupid: he tries to stop him.

It does not go as expected 

Masamune rushes forward, grabbing the other man's wrist to try and restrain him. That's his first mistake. 

“Hey!” The man cries out in alarm. He jerks his arm out of Masamune's grip. For having such an unimpressive outline, he is clearly stronger than he looks.

Masamune is not deterred. “The only way you're leaving here in one piece is in handcuffs,” he says firmly. He makes to grab the man's wrist again. That's his second mistake.

The man doesn't fall for the same trick. Instead, he dodges Masamune's hands, and somehow slips underneath Masamune's outstretched arm and comes up behind him. 

Curse this darkness! Masamune has just enough time to blink, and start regretting his rash decision when something goes around his neck and tightness uncomfortable. It takes him a second to process that one: the man now has him trapped in a pretty damn strong headlock. And two: he is so _screwed._

“Fool me once, shame on you,” the man whispers smugly in Masamune's ear. 

It's absolutely _repulsive,_ and Masamune's entire body screams with disgust.

“Fool me twice, shame on me.” 

Masamune tries to use his elbow to jab him in the stomach, the groin, _anywhere,_ but it's useless. He can't get free. How the hell is this guy so strong? 

The man tightens his arm even more around Masamune's neck warningly. 

And now Masamune _can't breathe._ “Let. Me. _Go,”_ he chokes out.

The man doesn't. “Sorry, but I don't think I'm going to do that,” he says. He does release the pressure around Masamune's neck so that he can actually breathe, though. 

Masamune greedily inhales until his lungs are in danger of bursting. 

“I changed my mind.” 

What? Once again, Masamune has no clue what he's talking about.

“I was going to leave, but since you were so insistent on playing the hero, you're going to help me,” the man commands.

Masamune doesn't stop to think before he says, “Fuck you. You're insane.” 

The man presses his arm against Masamune's throat again. “I am _not_ insane,” he proclaims fiercely. The note of hot anger that enters his voice contradicts his statement.

If Masamune were currently able to, he'd call the man out for lying.  

Composing himself somewhat, the man relaxes his hold just enough so that he doesn't fully suffocate Masamune. “And I wasn't really giving you a choice.”

Masamune is about to tell him, very politely of course, to go crawl in a hole and die. Then something cold and… metal? Brushes against his cheek. It stays there for a few moments before it's moved away and an uncomfortable weight settles against the back of his skull.

His heart misses a beat as icy cold realization freezes his entire body. 

 _This psycho has a gun._  

“Now,” the man says, sounding much more confident knowing that Masamune will no longer try to resist. “Tell me where I can find Ritsu Onodera.”

Masamune's heart stops beating all together.

Ritsu Onodera?

Masamune's Ritsu? 

The one that's sleeping peacefully in the other room? 

No. There has to be someone else in their building with the exact same name; it's the only possibility. 

Masamune's lungs stop cooperating and his stomach drops through the floor as he realizes that there is no mistake; this man was always after Ritsu. 

The man's arm is relatively loose around his neck, but Masamune Takano still can't seem to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...
> 
> (P.s- I am *really* sorry to do this, but I may have to leave you guys on a cliffhanger for a little while. I'll try my best, but my birthday is on Monday and I'm going to Virginia for a few days to visit my friend I haven't seen in a long time!!! And then my classes start literally the day after I come home :( ugh pls send help.)
> 
> (P.p.s- Um?????? The Sekaiichi Hatsukoi mobile game is coming out the day after my birthday??????? I am so blessed?????? God I hope they have an option to translate it to English if not I'll cry.)


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Butterfly Effect (Part Two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

The night is supposed to be a time where everything is calm and peaceful, and the whole world falls asleep. It's supposed to be a time when you can finally rest, and recover from the day's craziness just so that you can do the same thing again the next day. It's  _supposed_ to be all of these things, but for a certain someone, it seems like fate has other things in store for him than sleep.

Ritsu Onodera is (rudely) awoken from his sleep, for the second time in one night, may he add, by the sound of glass shattering.

Now, a normal person's first thought upon hearing that would probably be something along the lines of  _Oh no, I hope Masamune didn't hurt himself._ Or maybe even:  _I had better go and check on him and make sure that he's okay._ But Ritsu is hardly a normal person. And his first thought is something more like  _'Goddammit, Masamune!'_

Hardly the romantic worries of an anguished lover.

What? It's Masamune's fault that Ritsu barely got any sleep in the first place; he'll be irritated if he wants.

Or not. Ritsu sighs in defeat. Despite himself, he  _is_ still going to go make sure that Masamune didn't hurt himself or anything. He yawns as he stands up to go in search of his boyfriend.

Damn that man, he's got Ritsu wrapped around his little finger and he doesn't even know it.

Okay, he probably knows it. But Ritsu at least likes to pretend that he isn't hopelessly whipped.

"Masamune," Ritsu calls out. His voice comes out quieter than he had meant for it to. Guess he's still half-asleep. There's isn't a reply, but he hadn't been expecting one anyway. Oh well. Now that he thinks about it, he kind of wants water too, so he can take care of two birds with one stone.

Wearily stumbling out of the bedroom, and valiantly trying to ignore the ache in his hips, courtesy of Masamune of course, Ritsu squints at the dark expanse of hallway stretching out before him like a void. It shouldn't be possible for an empty hallway to seem so threatening, but this one manages to pull it off. It's creepy, and it reminds him of a scene from a scary movie he and Masamune had watched once. Sadly, he can't remember any of the details; he'd been too busy hiding his eyes behind his hands because  _Dear god, who came up with this stuff? And why was he watching this? He doesn't even_ like  _scary movies!_

Well, he thinks he does remember someone dying, but that's to be expected in a scary movie.

' _Wow, Ritsu. Cheerful thoughts, huh?'_ Ritsu inwardly rolls his eyes at himself. He's not awake enough yet to deal with his own brain sassing him. He just wants water, Masamune, and to go the hell back to sleep; in that order. With that in mind, he keeps walking.

He's about halfway down the hallway or so when he notices that something isn't right. Try as he might, though, he can't put his finger on it. It's dark, for sure, and quiet...

Wait a minute, that's what it is; it  _isn't_ quiet.

Ritsu realizes that the silence that had been so apparent before is being disturbed. Is that… whispering? ' _Is Masamune talking to somebody?'_ Who the hell could Masamune have needed to call at… two o'clock in the morning? That's what time Ritsu thinks he saw on their alarm clock, anyway. And why would he have felt the need to talk to whoever it is he's speaking with so far out of Ritsu's earshot? It's abnormal behavior, for sure.

' _Maybe it's Yokozawa.'_  A nasty little voice suggests in his head. Ritsu wishes that he could take the thought back instantly. But he supposes that it would kind of make sense. His tongue suddenly tastes bitter, but he's not sure why. (Because Ritsu is  _not_ jealous. He is not, he is not, he is  _not._ Masamune is free to call Yokozawa whenever he wants; because Ritsu has gotten  _past this._ Right?)

The feather soft whispers begin growing into harder and colder shouts, tearing him from his thoughts. No longer distracted by his irritating emotions, Ritsu registers two things.

One: Ritsu can hear that two voices are speaking, so his conclusion about Masamune being on the phone with somebody has been proved wrong. This also means that somebody else is in the apartment. And two: the second voice definitely doesn't belong to Yokozawa. In fact, Ritsu doesn't recognize it at all. But whoever it is sounds  _angry._

This can't be good.

Shaking his head roughly to snap himself out of his worrying, Ritsu continues on his path to the kitchen to find out what the hell is going on. He can't make out exactly what Masamune and their mystery guest are saying, but he halts in his tracks when he hears the unfamiliar voice say something surprising: his name.

_Ritsu Onodera._

' _They're… talking about me?'_

It's a surreal feeling, to say the least, hearing your own name being spoken in a conversation that you're not a part of. Something that makes you want to leave the area immediately so that you don't get accused of eavesdropping, while simultaneously wanting to barge into the room and demand to know why you're being spoken about. But it's made infinitely more uncomfortable when said conversation is being held in secret. In the middle of the night in your kitchen. Between your boyfriend and somebody else that you may or may not know.

Ritsu has the vague suspicion that he should just turn around and go back to bed. But now his curiosity has been piqued, and he'll be damned if he doesn't get to the bottom of this. Also, he's kind of,  _maybe_  sort of worried about Masamune. Just a little. (He's not going to acknowledge the fist of apprehension squeezing his stomach. Maybe then it will go away.)

As he slowly approaches the kitchen, Ritsu's brain decides that it's a good time to mention an old phrase that, in this situation, sends a wave of foreboding rolling through his body.  _Curiosity killed the cat._

Not to be cliche or anything, but Ritsu feels like he's justified in stating that he has a  _bad_  feeling about this.

* * *

It's only eight words.

" _Tell me where I can find Ritsu Onodera."_

They shouldn't have the power to control Masamune Takano so easily; to make his heart beat speed up dangerously when he hears them, but they do. And not just because the psycho who uttered them is currently holding a gun to his head.

(Okay, he'd be lying if he said that he wasn't a tad concerned about the slowly increasing chance that he was going to be shot, but he's trying not to think about that.)

Masamune is a proud man, but he's not proud enough to deny the nausea building at the back of his throat. It's not a feeling he's used to, but it is one that he can identify:  _Fear._ Not only for himself, but for Ritsu, too.

' _What could this maniac possibly want with Ritsu?'_ Masamune doesn't know, and he doesn't care to find out. This guy needs to  _leave._

"Who," Masamune asks, feigning ignorance. "I don't know anyone that goes by that name." A small part of Masamune hates himself for even pretending that he doesn't know Ritsu. It feels wrong and hurts something in his chest, but he's able to ignore it for now.

A frustrated sound savagely tears its way out of the man's throat. "Bullshit," he claims, pressing the end of his gun more firmly into Masamune's head.

Having a gun pressed into your skull is both painful and terrifying, and it takes everything Masamune has not to flinch. But he manages. There's no way in hell he'll give the man the satisfaction.

"You have to have seen him before," the man insists, refusing to accept Masamune's answer. "He's short, thin, and he has light brown hair and green eyes."

His description is insulting. It brings no justice to Ritsu's silky brown locks, or his beautiful bright green eyes that could easily put any gem to shame. Masamune almost verbalizes his offense, but he bites his tongue. "I already told you, I don't know him." He lies through his teeth. "But I'll be sure to let the police know to find him so that you never get within a hundred feet of him." That part is true at least.

The man does not take kindly to Masamune's taunt. "Why you little-" he snarls, drawing his gun away, only to slam it into Masamune's head mercilessly.

Pain causes white flashes to explode behind Masamune's eyes. It occurs to him that he should probably stop baiting the man with the gun to his head.

"Enough screwing around!" The man demands harshly. "I know you're lying."

Shit. Guess it's a good thing that Masamune is an editor rather than an actor.

"Now, tell me where he is or I'll-"

What the man will do is never revealed. Because at that moment Masamune hears something that makes his rapid heartbeat stop completely.

"Masamune!?" A breathless gasp sounds from the doorway.

No.  _Please_  no.

If there is anything sacred in this world, please let the far too familiar voice Masamune just heard have been a figment of his imagination.  _Please._

"Are you okay?"

Light suddenly fills the room. The onslaught of brightness is a shock to Masamune's system, and he squeezes his eyes shut for a few seconds. While they're closed, he takes the opportunity to hope against all hope that when he opens them again, he won't see what he thinks he will.

"Well, well, would you look at that," the man says. His voice no longer holds the barely contained anger and irritation it had earlier. Now it sounds calm, and way too smug. "I knew you were lying to me," he tells Masamune.

Heart sinking, Masamune opens his eyes, only to see his worst fear confirmed: one Ritsu Onodera stands in the doorway with his hand on the light switch.

Turns out, there is nothing sacred in this world. Masamune would be surprised if he hadn't already figured that out by his senior year of high school.

Ritsu's eyes are blown wide, and the old red t-shirt that he stole from Masamune at some point is  _barely_  falling off of his shoulder.

Masamune's heart twinges. Ritsu just looks so  _small._

The man tightens his grip on Masamune's shoulder, warning him what will happen if he tries anything. But Masamune is completely frozen; he couldn't move if he tried.

"Ritsu Onodera, I've been looking all over for you," the man says conversationally, as if he and Ritsu are childhood friends. "You're a hard man to find, I'll give you that."

Masamune bites the inside of his lip to prevent himself from making a comment.

"But I finally found you." Darkness creeps into the man's voice as he continues. "And now that I have, I think you and I need to have a little chat."

Something cracks in Masamune's chest when green, wide, fear-filled eyes lock with his.

* * *

' _This can't be happening.'_

When Ritsu had heard Masamune grunt in pain, his stomach had dropped ten stories in five seconds. He didn't know what the hell was going on, but he knew that Masamune was in trouble, and he had to help.

When he'd reached the kitchen, Ritsu hadn't known what to expect. Yokozawa and Masamune having one of their famous arguments? Maybe. Sure, it still would have been weird and confusing, but it would have been better than  _this._

Because right now the only thing that Ritsu can process is that  _'Masamune has a fucking gun to his head.'_

What the fuck!?

Ritsu wants to just open his eyes to find out that this whole thing is nothing more than a bad dream. It would make more sense than what's actually going on. This type of thing doesn't happen in real life!

Except apparently, it does. And no matter how hard Ritsu tries, he can't make himself wake up. It's the worst kind of nightmare; the kind that's real. "Who-" his voice tries to desert him, but he clears his throat and forces it to work. "Who  _are_ you?"

That turns out to be the wrong thing to ask. The man scowls, clearly not pleased with Ritsu's question.  _"Who am I,"_ he bites out. "Are you  _serious?"_

Ritsu can't hear his own thoughts with how loud his heart is beating. "I'm sorry, but if we've met before I don't recognize you," he says truthfully, grateful that the panic he's feeling doesn't bleed into his voice. His heart rate is high; too high. He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly in a vain attempt to bring it down. He has to stay  _calm._ Because there's no telling what this man will do if Ritsu upsets him, and he does  _not_ want to find out. Especially with Masamune's life at stake.

He can't stop his mind from panicking though. But he thinks that's perfectly justified because  _Jesus, Masamune has a_ fucking  _gun to his head!_

The man's lips curl into a sneer. "Of course you don't recognize me," he says, voice acidic.

Ritsu makes himself focus on that, carefully avoiding looking at Masamune. Because if he looks at Masamune, and sees the pain in his eyes Ritsu had first seen when he walked into the room, he knows that he'll shut down. And that is  _not_ something he can do right now.

"My name is Takashi Nakamura," the man informs them. "And I was an employee at Onodera Publishing for over fifteen years."

"Oh," Ritsu says. He desperately searches his memory for any trace of a  _Takashi Nakamura,_  but despite his best efforts he still comes up short.

Almost as if sensing this, Takashi's eyes narrow, and he levels Ritsu with a glare full of what is unmistakably pure  _hatred._ "Your father didn't seem to care about that, though, when he fired me three days ago."

Ritsu inhales quickly, suppressing a shudder at the spike of anger and bitterness that makes itself known in Takashi's voice. Now he's starting to understand. Once again, his father is directly responsible for something going wrong in Ritsu's life. "I'm sorry," he says, throat hurting from how much sincerity he pours into it. "But I still don't know why you're here. That doesn't have anything to do with me."

The man scoffs harshly. "I'm not surprised you would think that. You're as much of a bastard as your father."

Ritsu cringes.

A rough, angry sound erupts from Masamune's mouth.

It draws Ritsu's attention, and he makes the mistake of glancing too far to the right. He ends up locking eyes with Masamune's hazel ones. They're narrowed, only thinly concealing the concern and fear behind them.

It's impossible for Ritsu to look away. His heart thuds against his ribcage painfully.

"Shut up," Takashi barks at Masamune.

"Go to hell," Masamune retorts.

Ritsu can't believe his ears. A hysterical sound tries to escape his lips, but he clenches his teeth to trap it. He can't tell if it was going to be a laugh or a sob.

Takashi is less than amused with Masamune's sass. "I said shut your damn mouth, or I will make sure you never open it again." He seals his threat by tapping the nozzle of his gun none too gently against Masamune's head.

"I'd like to see you try," Masamune challenges.

Ritsu panics. Is Masamune  _trying_ to get himself killed? "Takashi!" he says, successfully getting the man's attention.

' _That's right. Don't look at him. Look at me.'_ Ritsu finally tears his gaze away from Masamune. It feels like a bit of his heart tears, too.

Takashi sneers at Ritsu. "Oh. I see now." He looks between Ritsu and Masamune. A dark merriness makes his eyes glitter. "Turns out the prodigal son is not the perfect angel he was supposed to be. No wonder your father suddenly stopped singing your praises," he says mockingly.

Well, that was just uncalled for. Ritsu tries to hide his wince but isn't quite able to.

Masamune sucks in a breath, but Ritsu shoots him a pleading look before he can do anything to activate Takashi's itchy trigger finger.  _'Please, please, please don't say anything stupid,'_ he prays.

Masamune scowls, but Ritsu must look as scared as he feels because he keeps his mouth shut tight.

Ritsu closes his eyes for a moment as relief overwhelms him. He feels a little less like he's going to throw up now. "So you already know that I'm not on good terms with my family," he says, voice shaking only a bit. "We're practically strangers. My father especially wouldn't care if anything happened to me." The words flow his mouth, leaving nothing but a sour taste behind.

"Ritsu," Masamune whispers; voice pained.

Ritsu shoots him a sharp, warning look, and shakes his head. Now is not the time.

Takashi tsks. "Ah, the young Onodera was supposed to be such a genius," he says in false disappointment. "But you're wrong about one thing," he announces matter-of-factly.

Ritsu furrows his eyebrows; he doesn't understand.

"A parent would do  _anything_ for their child. Move hell and the Earth itself." Takashi's brown eyes narrow; turning into steel. "Trust me, I would know."

Ritsu bites his lip. He doesn't like where this is going.

"So, even if you don't believe me, I can guarantee that your father would care if something happened to you." Takashi's voice is flat; emotionless.

Ritsu's heart skips a beat when Takashi's blank expression quickly morphs into a twisted smile. The end of the gun is moved. Takashi uses it to trace along the edges of Masamune's face.

"And  _you_ , care about what happens to him, right?"

The note of cruelty that drips from Takashi's tone makes Ritsu feel cold on the inside. The air catches in his lungs. He answers instantly, but it's not like he needed time to think. Even considering the question isn't an option.  _"Yes,_ I do!"

Takashi smirks. He's reminiscent of a sadistic cat who's finally captured a very scared mouse.

"Now  _please."_ Ritsu's voice breaks on that word. "Let him go," he begs.

Takashi snickers at the fear in his voice. "Pathetic. You really are like your father."

A sob escapes Ritsu's lips without his consent.

That's the final straw. Masamune growls, unable to keep quiet even a second longer. "You son of a bitch, you're one to talk. You don't know anything about him. Leave him alone," he spits out the words.

Takashi's brutish chuckling cuts off abruptly. "You know, I'm really starting to get tired of you butting in," he scowls at Masamune.

"Well, I'm tired of you, too." Masamune snaps.

The air is expelled from Ritsu's lungs.

"Oh?" Takashi's lips twist downward. A manic light enters his eyes. "Then allow me to solve both of our problems.

Ritsu's heart seizes. The sound of the safety of the gun being clicked off is one that will haunt him for the rest of his life. He watches helplessly as the gun is raised up, up,  _and up_ until it's back against the side of Masamune's head.

This can't be happening. This  _can't_ be happening! Ritsu can't handle this. He just needs everything to…

" _Stop!"_

Both Masamune and Takashi freeze at Ritsu's outburst.

Ritsu's knees threaten to buckle in relief.

Hazel eyes meet green, and whatever facial expression Ritsu is wearing must be pretty shocking, because Masamune's eyebrows raise in horror. He mouths an apology towards Ritsu.

Ritsu isn't aware of when exactly his vision becomes blurry and liquid starts streaming down his face. "Please," he pleads with Takashi yet again. "Let him go. He doesn't have anything to do with this."

Takashi scoffs scornfully. "Wrong again, Onodera. He became a part of this the second  _you_ came into his life."

It feels like a fifty-pound weight drops into Ritsu's stomach.

"This is on  _you."_  Takashi's eyes harden. His next sentence is directed towards Masamune. "Onodera's are a heartless breed, you know? The whole lot of them."

Masamune mutters something under his breath. It sounds suspiciously similar to "Go fuck yourself."

Ritsu's heart hammers in his chest. He needs this to stop, and he needs Masamune to not get himself fucking shot. "Wait," he says, intervening before Takashi can react to Masamune's comment.

Takashi glares at the interruption.

Ritsu swallows down his fear the best he's able to. It's hard for him to concentrate with the almost deafening sound of blood rushing in his ears. "I…" he trails off. He hadn't known where he was going when he'd started talking, all he wanted was for Takashi to focus on him instead of Masamune.

' _What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?'_ Ritsu racks his brain, trying to come up with  _something._

Slowly, like a flame flickering out of existence, a solution occurs to him. It's... insane, to say the least. A truthfully horrible idea. But if it means that Masamune will be okay…

Ritsu knows what to do. "Let him go," he tells Takashi again. His voice is eerily calm to his own ears, contrary to the way his hands begin trembling uncontrollably. He doesn't have time to be scared for himself, though, so he squeezes them into fists.

Masamune frowns. Ritsu looks away. He knows his resolve will abandon him if he looks into those hazel eyes, so he carefully avoids Masamune's gaze.

"You won't accomplish anything by holding him hostage," Ritsu says, trying to reason with Takashi. "And if you let him go, he won't let you make it out of here."

Takashi's lips curl downwards distastefully at Ritsu implying that Masamune is stronger than him.

"Plus," Ritsu continues before Takashi can interject. "If it's my father you're trying to get back at, you definitely won't get results by using him," he points out. "He'd probably be happy if you hurt him." Nausea curls in Ritsu's stomach at the words spilling out of his mouth. Mostly because they're true.

"Ritsu," Masamune says; uneasiness and agitation tinting his voice. "What are you doing?"

Ritsu bites his lip and keeps his gaze towards either Takashi's shoulder or the floor. If he's going to do this properly, he can't afford any distractions.

Takashi doesn't lower the gun like Ritsu had hoped. But a bit of doubt seeps into his eyes.

Ritsu can work with that. "But, if you..." He takes a deep breath to steel himself. His hands are still shaking, and he thinks his knuckles are white. "If you took me instead, you'd be able to get whatever it is you want from my father." He holds his breath, carefully watching Takashi.

A sharp gasp very nearly draws Ritsu's eyes to Masamune. "Ritsu,  _no-"_

Ritsu's heart twinges, but he digs his nails into his palms to stop his eyes from giving in to their desire to lock with Masamune's. "Think about it," he says. His breath quivers a bit, and he spares a quick mental thanks that it can't be heard when he speaks. "If you're so confident that a parent, even a shitty one like my dad, would give anything to save their child, then it would be better for you to leave him and take me somewhere hard to find."

' _This had better work.'_

Takashi frowns in contemplation. But he finally,  _finally,_  lowers the gun; albeit only a fraction of an inch.

Ritsu's skin feels hot and itchy. He just needs one more little push, and he  _knows_ his plan is going to work. "Oh, I see," he says, aiming to sound calm and collected. "You know that you're wrong, and I'm right. My father is a terrible person, who had no problem firing a loyal, longtime employee," he says pointedly. "And I'm telling you that he wouldn't give a damn if he found out I went missing."

It should be hard for someone to say something so awful about their own parents.

It isn't for Ritsu, and it helps that a small part of him believes what he's saying. They always say to sprinkle in a little truth into a lie, right?

Masamune tries desperately to make eye contact.

Ritsu tries desperately to not let his eyes get dragged into the natural orbit that always leads his gaze to Masamune. He needs to keep his concentration undisturbed.

"I'm not wrong," Takashi says firmly. There's a bite to his words that tells that he is not a man who appreciates being argued with.

Ritsu raises an eyebrow, trying to project obvious doubt in his glance.

The gun lowers another fraction of an inch.

' _Almost there.'_

"So, what," Takashi asks. There's the slightest fumble to his words though.

Ritsu takes it as a victory.  _'He's cracking!'_

"You expect me to believe that you're going to just… come with me? Willingly," Takashi says doubtfully.

Ritsu nods solemnly. "Yes."

Masamune hisses; like he's been struck.

Ritsu finally allows his gaze to be drawn into the magnetic pull of Masamune's that he's never able to fully resist. He puts as much resolve and courage that he can muster into a single, tiny smile.

' _I got this.'_

Masamune's eyes widen. His features distort in worry, but he only hesitates for a moment before nodding at Ritsu. The look in his eyes clearly says  _I trust you._

A painful ache forms behind Ritsu's eyes. He doesn't let any tears fall, though. All he cares about is that Masamune understood his message. He squares his shoulders and forces himself not to cringe as he makes determined eye contact with Takashi. "I'll go with you of my own volition. You just have to  _let him go."_

Takashi blinks in surprise. He hadn't expected the young Onodera to just…  _offer_ to be his hostage. He definitely hadn't planned for this. But you know what they say: Never look a gift horse in the mouth. "Fine," he agrees, finally lowering the gun away from Masamune's head.

Ritsu's legs nearly give out on him. That's how relieved he is. But more importantly,  _Now's his chance!_

"Now," Takashi starts, slowly,  _so achingly slowly,_ releasing his headlock from around Masamune and taking a small step away from him.

Suddenly, Ritsu can breathe again.

"Don't try anything stupid," Takashi warns.

Ritsu doesn't hear him over the sound of him doing something stupid.

He dashes forward, faster than he's ever moved in his  _life,_ and grabs Masamune's arm. Using all of the strength he can gather, he yanks Masamune behind him. The protective side of Ritsu wants to burst into tears at seeing him safe. But first, he needs to get that  _damn_ gun away from Takashi.

What happens next is too fast to comprehend.

Ritsu grabs for the gun.

Masamune shouts in horror.

Takashi curses and reflexively jerks his hand away and out of Ritsu's reach. His finger twitches. A deafening sound causes them all to squeeze their eyes shut instinctively.

Ritsu opens his eyes first. What happened? Was anybody hurt? And the most important question:  _Did Takashi still have the gun?_  Ritsu meets Masamune's eyes, silently asking if he's okay.

Masamune blinks a few times. Then his jaw drops and his eyebrows raise into an expression that displays nothing but alarm.

Ritsu's brow scrunches, and he's about to ask if Masamune had actually gotten hurt when  _pain,_ blinding and intense explodes in his chest. He winces and automatically brings his hand to the source of the pain.

It comes away covered in blood.

(Ritsu's blood? Ritsu's blood.)

Ritsu screams.

* * *

Masamune is not scared of many things.

He's not trying to sound arrogant or anything, that's just how it is. Almost nothing phases him anymore. But right now? Right now he is  _terrified._ Because  _this?_ This is his absolute worst fear come to life in the worst possible way. He's losing Ritsu  _again._ And this time, it could be a longer separation than a measly ten years. Masamune doesn't think he'll ever be able to enter a hospital again.

Ritsu is as colorless as the crisp white bed sheets currently pulled up to his stomach. The stolen red Tshirt he had been wearing is nowhere to be found, but that's fine. Masamune probably won't be able to stand the color red for the rest of his life.

There are bandages wrapped around Ritsu's chest. They don't suit him.

Masamune's throat aches. He takes Ritsu's cold hand in his own, making sure not to accidentally move the tiny device clinging to his finger that's monitoring his pulse. "Wake up," he whispers.

He doesn't, but Masamune isn't surprised; Ritsu never listens to him anyway.

A knife twists in Masamune's heart. He squeezes Ritsu's hand briefly. He's glad he's finally here now, rather than at the police station like he had been about thirty minutes ago. He'd thought the questions would  _never_ end. After being at the station for nearly an hour, (an hour spent  _away_  from Ritsu, who was  _hurt)_  he'd finally demanded to leave. But in all fairness, there had been a lot of information the police had needed to know. Masamune had had to recall the details of exactly what happened after that  _bastard,_ (he refuses to call him Takashi; the man doesn't deserve to have a name.) had shot Ritsu.

It still makes him sick to his stomach.

* * *

_Ritsu screams, clutching his hand to his chest and sinking rapidly to the floor._

_Masamune's heart stills. He doesn't breathe for a minute. Because that had_ not  _just happened. Ritsu had_ not  _just gotten shot._

_Masamune blinks. Oh, dear god, Ritsu just got shot._

" _Ritsu!" Masamune's yell tears at his throat._

" _Oh, oh fuck, he got hit."_

 _The lack of… anything in Takashi's voice ignites a fire of rage so burning hot it melts the frozen statue Masamune had been impersonating. He sees that the gun has dropped to the floor, but even if Takashi had still been holding it, Masamune wouldn't have cared a bit. "What the_ fuck  _did you do?" His throat feels raw from how much force he puts behind the words._

_Takashi flinches. "Hey, I didn't mean to. He tried to grab my gun. He should have known better." He tries to defend himself._

_Masamune hadn't though his rage could increase any higher, but he is proved wrong. Giving in to his anger for a moment, he turns around and punches Takashi Nakamura in the face with everything he's got. It's probably not a good sign that Masamune feels nothing, not even a grim flash of satisfaction when he hears a loud crack as his fist connects with Takashi's nose._

_Takashi shrieks and falls, landing on his ass hard. He covers his face with his hands._ _His nose is probably broken._

_Masamune doesn't give two shits. "Call an ambulance," he commands, not holding back the cold wrath from his tone."_

_Takashi glares at him. "No way." His voice is muffled. "Look, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to jail for this."_

_Masamune's lips fold into a snarl. He doesn't have_ time  _to deal with this fucking idiot, dammit! "I wasn't giving you a choice," he seethes, throwing the words Takashi had said earlier in the night back in his face. It feels like it was a lifetime ago. "Call an ambulance, now!"_

_Takashi's eyes wander to something behind Masamune._

_Masamune follows the line of sight. His eyes land on the gun. The thing is just sitting on the floor, like a dropped shoe. Seeing it makes something inside his mouth taste putrid, so he kicks it away to the other side of the room. The damned thing needs to be out of Takashi's reach. But more importantly, it needs to be as far away from Ritsu as physically possible._

" _Don't even think about it."_

_Takashi's shoulders slump. Something cold and resentful is settled in his eyes when he glares at Masamune._

_Masamune glares right back. He's about at the end of his patience here, and if this shithead keeps him from going to check on Ritsu any longer he's going to lose his mind. "This is_ your  _fault," he says in disgust. "You deserve to rot in hell. Jail is a mercy I'm granting you."_

_Takashi tries to hide it, but his shoulders tense._

_There's that grim stab of satisfaction. "Now, I'll tell you one more time: Get a goddamn ambulance here, now! And if you even take one step out of this room, I'll break your legs."_

_Takashi curses, but finally pulls out his cell phone._

_Masamune doesn't waste another second running over to Ritsu. He drops to the ground next to the worryingly still figure of his boyfriend._

_Ritsu's pale as a sheet, and his hand is still pressed to his chest. His eyes are closed, but the way his forehead is covered in sweat and his mouth is screwed shut in pain indicates that he's awake._

_Masamune's heart cracks; right down the middle. "Ritsu?"_

_A_ noise, _like a sob full of anguish and panic, escapes Ritsu's lips._

_That sound is going to be the star of Masamune's nightmares for years to come, he can already tell. "Ritsu, baby, please open your eyes for me."_

_Ritsu does. Tears leak out of the corners of his eyes as they reveal a beautiful green. But their natural beauty is tainted; they're full of pain. "It- it hurts, Masamune."_

_Masamune's heart suffers another crack. "I know it does, sweetheart." His voice breaks. He forces a small smile. It's hard, but he'll do anything to try and keep Ritsu calm. "You're doing good, though. Okay? The ambulance will be here soon."_

_Some clarity breaks through the haze in Ritsu's eyes. "Don't-" he winces in pain. "Don't know if it's gonna get here soon enough." He laughs weakly._

_Another crack. "Don't say that," he pleads._

_Ritsu's eyes close. Masamune's heart doesn't beat until they open again. "Hey, stay with me." A hint of the desperation buzzing underneath Masamune's skin sneaks into his voice._

_Ritsu smiles. It's small and pained, but no less beautiful. For some reason, that smile makes Masamune feel cold._

" _Just," Ritsu interrupts himself with a hiss of pain_

 _Masamune wants to cry, he feels so_ useless.  _The only thing he can do is run his fingers through Ritsu's hair, and try to provide even the smallest amount of comfort. He thinks he hears sirens and prays that he's right. "What? What is it," he prompts gently, once it appears that Ritsu is able to speak again._

_Ritsu draws in as deep a breath as he can without aggravating his wound. It sounds wheezy and raspy._

_Masamune roughly banishes the horrifying intrusive thought of Ritsu choking on his own blood._

" _Just in case, I want to say it properly: I love you, Masamune."_

_No._

_No, no, no, no, no!_

_That 'I love you' sounded way too much like a goodbye._

" _Ritsu, you can't say that. Not right now. Tell me later, okay? When we get to the," he pauses, absently noticing that his voice is thick with the warning of tears. "When we get to the hospital."_

_Ritsu just smiles up at him._

_Masamune's eyes ache. "I already lost you once, for ten years. I can't lose you again."_

" _Well, I'll try to make sure you don't. But I can't make any promises."_

_And with that, Ritsu's eyes flutter shut._

_Masamune's heart completely shatters._

* * *

That was about three hours ago. Or was it four? Masamune has honestly lost his sense of time. Now he's just waiting for Ritsu to wake up.

 _It might be a while,_  the doctor had warned; right after telling him that Ritsu's heart had stopped in the ambulance.

Ritsu is lucky to be alive.

Masamune counts himself as the lucky one.

The doctor had given them some privacy, but not without first leaving Masamune with instructions to keep a close eye on Ritsu's heart monitor. So as of now, Masamune has no plans that do not directly involve staying by Ritsu's side for the foreseeable future.

Except for dozing off, it seems. Masamune isn't aware of when he falls asleep, but he is aware of being awoken sometime much later by a hand tightening around his own. He's never jolted awake so fast in his life.

"Ritsu!" He brings his other hand to their joined ones, cradling Ritsu's hand gently. He leans down, (into quite an uncomfortable position, his weary body tells him pointedly,) and presses his forehead against Ritsu's for a few seconds.

He'd lost Ritsu for ten years, and then almost forever.

_Never again._

Ritsu smiles at him and then looks around the room; taking in his surroundings. "Hospital," he asks.

Masamune nods in confirmation. "Yup. And don't worry about that asshole. He's at a different hospital, with two police officers watching him like a hawk until he's transferred to a proper prison."

Ritsu sighs in relief. "Good."

Chest tightening, Masamune places a kiss on Ritsu's soft lips. Ritsu's head sinks slightly into the cheap hospital pillow. It's difficult, trying to be gentle and fierce at the sametime, but Ritsu is definitely worth it.

The only reason Masamune eventually pulls away is that some irritating sound won't stop  _beeping._

"What the hell," Masamune grumbles, royally pissed at being forcibly distracted from Ritsu. His eyes survey the room, until they land on the source of the noise.

_Oh._

It's Ritsu's heart moniter. 

 _'Oops,'_ Masamune thinks, trying his best not to laugh at Ritsu's mortified expression.

Brushing off his embarrassment somewhat, Ritsu clears his throat. "Okay, pretending that never happened, can I say it now?"

Masamune's forehead wrinkles in confusion. "Say what?"

"I love you."

Those words, spoken so rarely spoken by the always-shy Ritsu, combined with the breathtaking smile on his face helps mend a small piece of Masamune's slowly healing heart.

Masamune can finally breathe again.

"I love you too, Ritsu. I'm so happy you're alive."

* * *

The doctor keeps Ritsu there under observation for two weeks. Nobody comes to visit him besides Masamune, and the one occasion he'd allowed Kisa, Hatori, and Mino to accompany him. Yokozawa had tagged along as well, which Masamune was endlessly grateful for. It surprisingly had not been a total disaster.

Takao and Aia Onodera never come. And Masamune knows for a fact that the hospital notified them. He and Ritsu don't really discuss it. They just have Ritsu's emergency contact information altered. They swap Ritsu's parents for Masamune.

It shouldn't feel symbolic.

It does.

And by the end of the first week, Ritsu is nearly crawling out of his skin.  _'I'm so bored.'_ He'd informed Masamune on many occasions. This particular complaint was delivered via text message.  _'It's like you get shot in the chest once, and nobody lets you do anything.'_

' _Don't get shot in the chest, then.'_ Masamune had replied.

Ritsu had ignored him for a solid fifteen minutes before said boredom returned with a vengeance. He'd given in and texted Masamune again.

Masamune had been there in ten minutes with as many books as he could carry.

All had been forgiven.

Then, a few days before he's scheduled to be discharged, Ritsu had sincerely asked Masamune for,  _Some work to do, a manuscript to proofread, or even some screentones to paste. Anything!_

He truly was back to normal, then.

And that, more than anything else tells Masamune that Ritsu will be okay. And so will he, as long as he has Ritsu next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. (Cheesy ending is cheesy.)
> 
> Whoo boy! That got out of hand! I hope everyone forgives me, and I promise that Ritsu will be fine, although I may or may not reference him getting shot every once in a while. (And Masamune becoming *more* protective? Very likely.)
> 
> (P.s- The mobile game is out!!! I'm in love I missed these boys so much!!!!)


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Masamune holds Ritsu's book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Just a quick fun fact: this chapter was called Badass Ritsu for the Win while I was writing it.
> 
> P.s- I know that Ritsu uses a bunch of different names when referring to the guy, but it's because he can't remember his name. It's intentional. That is all.

Yup, it's official: Ritsu Onodera is never leaving his apartment ever again.

He means it!

He's got it all planned out; it can't be that hard. He hears that grocery store delivery is becoming more popular these days, and he and Masamune even have a fax machine at their house, so it's not like he'll fall behind on work. It's perfect!

_Not._

Ritsu sighs. The smell of cigarette smoke is usually one he doesn't mind, mostly because he's come to associate it with Masamune. (Not that he'll  _ever_ tell the man that.) But this time it's stale, and swirling around unpleasantly through the heavy air. Combined with the almost tangible scent of alcohol surrounding him, Ritsu is far less appreciative of the smell than he usually is.

' _Can we_ please  _go home already?'_ Ritsu stares daggers at the side of Masamune's head. Maybe if he glares hard enough, Masamune will be able to hear his thoughts. Sadly, it doesn't work. 

Silently sighing in defeat when he accepts that he'll be stuck here for quite some time, Ritsu takes a slow sip of his beer. It's bitter, but not quite as bitter as his mood, so it will have to do.

Masamune laughs at something his current conversation partner says.

The sound soothes Ritsu's nerves, but somehow also puts him even more on edge than he had already been. Ugh, has Ritsu mentioned that he hates complicated emotions? Because he  _really_ hates feeling complicated emotions.

He should have known something like this would happen today. Especially when he realized that everybody had miraculously handed in their manuscripts  _on time_ for once. Such a thing was unheard of, and clearly, the universe had decided that since it had given him such a good day, it needed to do something to balance out the playing field.

Of course, it had to happen at the restaurant he and Masamune had been having dinner at on their way home from work. Ritsu will never admit that it was a date, but it was a date. They were on their way out, and he was engrossed in excitedly telling Masamune about something or other he can't remember anymore, and he hadn't been paying attention to where his feet were leading him. Which was straight into a person.

After Ritsu had finished apologizing profusely, the man he'd walked into noticed Masamune.

Of course, they'd recognized each other.

Pleasantries had been exchanged, and Masamune had briefly excused himself to use the restroom before they left. The guy had actually used the opportunity to take Ritsu aside, and properly introduce himself as  _Masamune's friend from college._

This wouldn't have been strange on it's own, but it was the _way_ he said it; complete with a slimy, superior tone of voice and a smug grin. He obviously wanted Ritsu to know that _yes, they had been_ those _kinds of friends._ Ritsu had nearly left right there and then. All he could say was: Well played, universe. Well played.

After they'd finished their dinner, instead of heading home, Masamune and Ritsu had ended up at some bar across the street from the restaurant. And they'd been there for  _three. Hours._ Ritsu wants to scream.

"Ritsu? Are you with us?"

The sound of his own name being spoken pulls Ritsu out of his thoughts. "Sorry, say again," he asks, cheeks heating at being caught off guard.

Masamune rolls his eyes and flicks Ritsu on the forehead.

Ritsu, very maturely, sticks his tongue out in response.

The man who's sitting off to Masamune's left laughs at both of them good-naturedly.

Ritsu resists the urge to grimace.

"I was just asking if it was true that you and Takano work together," he asks, all curious and polite.

Ritsu wishes they would go back to ignoring him. It would be better than this.

The man next to Masamune seems nice enough. He's tall, and obviously a foreigner, but he's undeniably charming; with blond hair and blue eyes that suit his features quite well. He has a bit of an accent, and stupidly perfect teeth to go with his stupidly perfect smile.

Ritsu can't stand him.  _'Friends from college.'_ Honestly, does everyone think he was born yesterday? He knows what that means!

Silently taking a breath to calm down, he forces himself to smile. "Uh, yes we do," he answers lamely. God, why can't he just sink into the floor and end up back at home?

"I see." The man, Ritsu thinks his name is Edgar or something, nods at him. "How did you two meet?"

Ritsu almost asks him why the hell he cares so much. Then he sees the way the guy none-too-subtly sneaks a glance at Masamune from the corner of his eye, and he  _knows._  Dammit, just how many people had Masamune slept with in college?

Okay, yeah, Ritsu does  _not_ want to know the answer to that.

"We went to the same high school," he says carefully, trying not to make it sound like he's gritting his teeth.

"Ah," Edgar says, nodding again. Then he must decide that he's paid enough attention to Ritsu to be considered polite, as he turns back to Masamune eagerly.

Ritsu doesn't usually appreciate being brushed off, but this time he's grateful. Checking the time on his phone, he mentally screams when he sees that it's nearly eleven o'clock at night and they're still at… whatever the hell bar this is. And it doesn't seem like they'll be leaving anytime soon.

Across the room, what appears to be a boisterous group of college students stand up from their table and head towards the front of the building.

Ritsu tries not to feel too envious of them. He nearly taps Masamune on the shoulder and asks if they can leave too.

Then Masamune bursts into laughter.

Ritsu's heart stumbles at the unexpected sound, and It feels like someone just punched him in the stomach. Damn it all. He wants to go home, but he's not going to be a jackass and make Masamune leave early. And he knows that even if he told Masamune to stay that there's no way he'd let Ritsu leave alone.

Which means that Ritsu has to stay.

God, the things he does for this man.

He looks at his half-empty beer and has no desire whatsoever to finish it. He doesn't even want to drink, that's how annoyed he is. Feeling a headache coming on as the smell of smoke and booze becomes even more suffocating, Ritsu desperately thinks of ways he can distract himself until Masamune gets bored of catching up with… Edward? Damn, he can't even remember the jerk's name. He glances down, where his work bag is sitting faithfully at his side. He doesn't really feel like doing any work now, but  _maybe…_

He digs around in his bag,  _praying_  that it's still there.

It is! Ritsu's book!

Ritsu silently cheers, and thanks the universe for cutting him a little slack and not having his book mysteriously gone from his bag. Opening the book and flipping through its pages to find where he'd last been forced to stop reading fills him with an indescribable sense of contentment.

Masamune scoffs at him. "Really," he asks, amusement tinting his words.

"Don't act like you expect anything else of me," Ritsu retorts, not even looking away from the pages in front of him.

"You bookworm." Masamune laughs, reaching out to muss Ritsu's hair.

"Yes."

Masamune snorts. 'And that's all you need to know about this guy. Give him a book and he's in heaven."

Ritsu smacks Masamune's head lightly with the back of his book but otherwise doesn't object. It's true after all.

Eugene laughs. The sound makes something sour in Ritsu's gut. "You two are funny."

Ritsu pretends to be absorbed in his book so that he doesn't have to respond.

Ten minutes pass. Ritsu finishes a chapter. He also switches to water.

Twenty minutes. Another chapter. Ritsu thanks tomorrow for being a weekend, meaning he doesn't have to work.

Thirty minutes. Two more chapters pass. Ritsu finds himself daydreaming about laying down on their  _soft_ bed and going the hell to sleep.

An hour. Ritsu is now over halfway done with his entire book. But the word  _college_ being spoken breaks through his laser focus on the printed words he loves so much.

"So, what have you been up to since college," Eustace asks Masamune.

Something in his tone makes Ritsu feel like hurling.

Masamune shrugs. "Not much. Just working a lot. Here's a bit of advice: never become an editor."

Evan laughs. "Noted."

Ritsu happens to glance up from his book right as he oh-so-casually slings an arm around Masamune's shoulders.

' _Um..?'_ His eyes dart instantly back to his book. He hadn't been prepared for such a revelation, but he… doesn't like seeing somebody else touching Masamune, and he hopes that Masamune will shrug the hand off of him.

Masamune doesn't.

' _Um..!'_ A knot forms in Ritsu's stomach.

When he speaks again, Ethan's voice has noticeably dropped a few decibels. "But that's not really what I was getting at."

The hairs on the back of Ritsu's neck raise.

"You look as good as you did back then. Better, even."

Ritsu  _really_ wants to look up from his book to see Masamune's expression. But he can't quite bring himself to.

"A good-looking guy like you can't still be single, right?" Eli's voice has dropped even lower.

Ritsu can't stop himself from sneaking a glance. Something pierces his heart when he sees that the man is leaning in far too close to Masamune.

Masamune laughs, but it sounds strange; more guarded than the genuine one that Ritsu is used to. The pain in Ritsu's chest eases just a bit when Masamune leans away ever so slightly from Elliot. "Still sharp, I see. You're correct, I'm in a relationship."

Ritsu hopes his book hides the way his cheeks are rapidly changing color.

Eric hums in disappointment. "What a shame."

Ritsu's grip on his book tightens in irritation.  _'That you're still here? I couldn't agree more.'_

"Well then, where's the lucky girl now? Or is it a guy this time?"

Ritsu's not sure if the question sounds condescending to anyone else but him.

"He knows where I am," is all Masamune says in response. If Ritsu's not mistaken, he sounds much warier than he had earlier.

"Oh? A guy then." Edwin seems far too thrilled to have been granted that information. "That's good to know."

' _Is this guy for real?'_

Apparently, he is. The final straw is Earl propping up his elbow onto the bar counter and resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "But he's not here right now, is he?"

Ritsu can practically hear the smirk on this asshole's face.

"Why don't you and me go and… have some fun? For old times sake."

Ritsu's heart doesn't beat for the whole three seconds it takes for Masamune to respond. "Sorry, but I'm afraid I'll have to pass," he says, sounding more disgusted than apologetic.

Edmund clicks his tongue. "Aw, come on Takano. You were hardly a saint in college, don't try and act all noble now."

_That's it!_

Ritsu snaps his book shut and gets to his feet. He can't listen to this crap anymore. "Masamune, he says, emphasizing his use of the man's first name. "It's really late. We should go home."

Edison tsks, and frowns at Ritsu before Masamune can respond. "You really are a pest, aren't you?"

Ritsu bites his lip and looks away, before squaring his shoulders and frowning right back. Honestly, the  _nerve_ of this guy.

"Hey!" Masamune snaps. Any semblance of politeness is now devoid from his features. It shouldn't need to be said, but he does  _not_ take kindly to people insulting Ritsu.

Ed has the audacity to wave off Masamune, and stands up from his seat deliberately slowly.

Ritsu stands his ground, but it's hard to fight off his urge to back away as his personal space is invaded. Dammit, why is almost everybody he knows nearly a foot taller than him?

"If you want to go home, please, go right on ahead," Erin says coldly. "You're being quite an annoying third wheel."

Ritsu flinches.

Masamune stands up as well. "Hey, that's enough," he commands, placing a hand on Emmett's shoulder to pull him away from Ritsu.

He ignores him and shrugs off Masamune's hand. Then he looks back and forth between Masamune and Ritsu in understanding. "Oh, I see it now. You're the boyfriend, aren't you?"

Ritsu privately thinks that if it took the guy this long to figure that out when he'd literally ran into them leaving a restaurant  _together,_ then it's no wonder Masamune dumped him.

Masamune glares darkly at Edgar. "That's none of your damn business," he bites out harshly. He puts his hand on Ritsu's shoulder. "Come on, we're done here."

And Ritsu almost goes along with it; has every intention of dropping this all together.

But Edward just has to keep running his stupid mouth. "You really need to drop the act already," he tells Masamune. He directs his next comment towards Ritsu though. "I hope you know that your  _boyfriend,"_ he says that word mockingly, "Isn't really the relationship type. He's a hopeless playboy who will sleep with anybody who looks at him the right way."

Ritsu freezes in place.  _'What the_ hell  _did he just say?'_ The thin string holding his patience together finally snaps.

Masamune's eyes narrow, and he takes a breath in order to give Eugene a piece of his mind.

Ritsu beats him to it. "Masamune? Hold this for me for a second, please."

Masamune's scowl melts into a frown of confusion as Ritsu hands over his precious book to him. "Ritsu? What are you-" his question trails off into shocked silence. Because Ritsu, his timid towards strangers, polite to a fault, and non-confrontational regarding everything boyfriend, does this: He steps back and rests his weight on his left leg, raises his right leg, and roundhouse kicks Edward onto his  _ass._

Now here's the thing: Ritsu is small. No matter how much he protests or tries to deny it, that's the truth. But that just means that it's always impossible to tell how truly strong he is until it's too late.

It's the most graceful thing Masamune's ever seen; the one time  _he'd_ been on the receiving end of that kick included. And speaking from personal experience, he knows it hurts like a  _bitch._

Surprise and pain keep Edward rooted to where he lands on the floor.

Ritsu pants, trying to regain control of his breath "Shut up!" he demands as soon as he's able to. A furious light burns the forest behind his eyes.

Masamune  _almost_ intervenes. Because even though Ritsu may seem one hundred percent healthy again, Masamune worries about what stress will do to his weakened heart. But something stops him. To tell the truth, he's never seen Ritsu so angry before and it's… quite the sight to behold. He thinks he'll just sit back and enjoy the view of his gorgeous boyfriend burning with rage on his behalf.

"I've had enough of you bad mouthing him already," Ritsu says sharply. "You may have slept with him once or twice back then, but don't think that means you have any right to think you know anything about him!"

Edward is still too stunned to pick himself up off of the ground. Masamune can relate.

This seems to suit Ritsu just fine, as he spins around and walks purposefully towards the door.

Masamune only hesitates for half a second before following after him. He doesn't spare Edward a backward glance. He hopes Ritsu left a bruise.

* * *

"Ritsu, come on; talk to me," Masamune pleads for at least the tenth time since they'd arrived back home. He's sitting up, leaning against the headboard of their bed, trying everything in his power to get Ritsu to look at him.

Ritsu doesn't. Because arguing with him is like arguing with a brick wall that's particularly stubborn. "There's nothing to talk about," he insists yet again. The mattress shifts as he rolls onto his side, deliberately facing away from Masamune. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

 _Like hell._ Masamune would like to declare that Ritsu has left him no other choice but to resort to drastic measures. Such as grabbing Ritsu's shoulders with his hand and pulling until he turns over. Then, Masamune swings his leg until both of his knees entrap Ritsu's hips. A familiar position, but one that never ceases to be enjoyable.

The air leaving Ritsu's lungs in surprise continues to be one of his favorite sounds. "Ritsu. You roundhouse kicked a guy in a public setting. Which was really hot, by the way," Masamune smirks. "But I think that warrants a conversation."

Frustratingly, Ritsu's eyes stay focused just off to the side of Masamune's shoulder. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to kick your friend, but he was pissing me off."

It's a start, at least. "Okay, but not the issue. I'm actually glad you did that," Masamune admits. "He's always been a prick; he totally deserved it."

A puff of air escapes Ritsu's nose. It's not a laugh, but it's a step in the right direction. "Then I'm not really sorry. But if that's the case, what's the problem?"

Masamune shakes his head. "There's no problem," he reassures Ritsu. "I just want to know why you did it."

Ritsu bites his lip, and finally meets Masamune's eyes briefly before his gaze quickly shifts back off to the side. Masamune uses up a lot of willpower at that moment to stop himself from kissing Ritsu.  _Not yet._

"I just," Ritsu stumbles over his words. "Is that really the kind of person you liked back then?" His eyes drift back to Masamune's, and this time they don't dart away. "He… didn't look anything like me."

_What?_

"He was good-looking, and tall," Ritsu admits that with obvious bitterness. "If that's still the kind of person you like, I'm quite the downgrade."

Okay, Masamune has heard enough. That conclusion is so far from the truth that it's not even funny. This  _idiot_ can't be serious.

Except he somehow is. Ritsu cringes, and his eyes flicker away again when the silence lasts too long.

Masamune leans down, placing his hands on both sides of Ritsu's head so that he has to look at him again. "How is it possible for one person to be so smart and yet so dumb at the same time?"

Annoyance fills Ritsu's features and his cheeks dust over with pink. It's a far better expression than the other one, though.

Masamune decides that he had better clarify quickly if he doesn't want to be banished to the couch for what little time remains in the night. "I slept with him  _once,_ and when I was very drunk," he points out, " _because_ he didn't look like you. That was the whole point."

Ritsu's eyes widen.

“I was an idiot, and thought that sleeping with somebody who looked completely different from Ritsu Oda would help me get over you.” Masamune sighs, but even he can hear the fond exasperation in it. “Im glad it didn't work.” He can't, and doesn't really care to stop himself from leaning down and pressing his lips to Ritsu's forehead, then his cheek, the tip of his nose, and  _finally_ his lips.

The muffled sound of surprise that's pulled from the back of Ritsu's throat is greedily swallowed up in an instant, and it only prompts Masamune to take  _more;_ to deepen the kiss and tangle his fingers in Ritsu's soft hair. He wonders if he'll ever be able to control himself when it comes to Ritsu Onodera.

But then Ritsu, very slowly and with shaky hands, lifts his arms and wraps them around Masamune's neck. And Masamune realizes that, no, he will never have enough of this man.

Pulling away the smallest bit, Masamune takes the opportunity to admire the unearthly sight of Ritsu; his eyes shut tight and face practically glowing. Masamune's definitely biased, but Ritsu is, without a doubt, way more good-looking than Edward. And anybody else, for that matter.

Ritsu's eyes gradually open.

Masamune smiles and reaches to cup Ritsu's face, using the tips of his fingers to brush away stray strands of hair that had fallen out of place. "And you know, these days my type is more short, clumsy, addicted to books, and stubborn as a damn mule."

Ritsu's face reddens, and he looks off toward the wall.

And, well, it's really his own fault for being so adorable; Masamune can't resist teasing him a little. "So if you happen to know anyone who fits that description, please let me know."

Ritsu sputters in outrage.

Masamune laughs and recaptures Ritsu's lips. He spends the rest of the night making damn sure that Ritsu knows that he is the furthest thing possible from a "downgrade".

Only in the morning, when Ritsu complains about his sore hips while glaring at him pointedly does Masamune consider his mission accomplished.

Then again, it can't hurt to remind Ritsu _one_ more time.

(Or three.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congrats, Ritsu; you played yourself.
> 
> Also: (Please pretend the flower is a book.)
> 
> Ritsu: (◡‿◡✿)
> 
> Ritsu: (ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout my boyfriend?”
> 
> Ritsu: (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my book”
> 
> Masamune: ✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby. I got yo book.”
> 
> \---
> 
> P.S.- I'm SUPER excited about the next chapter, but it's gonna be really emotional, (at least if it turns out the way I want it to) so if I get the result I'm hoping for I apologize in advance. Here's a sneak peak:
> 
> Ritsu pants, trying desperately to catch his breath. He doesn't move away from the wall; he doesn't trust his shaky legs.
> 
> “Why do you always push me away?”
> 
> Ritsu's head snaps up. It's the first thing Masamune's said to him since he woke up back at this hellhole, but now he won't look at him. “What? I don't-” 
> 
> Masamune finally turns to face Ritsu, but his eyes are completely empty of any emotion. 
> 
> Ritsu cringes. 
> 
> “Just like that.” Masamune gestures to Ritsu's tense figure. “You always do this. I'm getting tired of being with somebody who's always trying to run away from me and is never honest about their feelings.” 
> 
> It's like getting shot in the chest all over again. 
> 
> No; this is worse.
> 
> Ritsu can hear the heart beating in his chest crack. “What are you saying, Masamune?” He bites his lip, but it's too late to hide the way his voice trembles.
> 
> Masamune doesn't even blink. “I'm saying we're done, Onodera.” 
> 
> He might as well just rip Ritsu's heart out and snap it in two. It would hurt less than this.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad dreams don't come true, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Dropping a chapter a day early because I liked it a lot and got too excited? It's more likely than you think.
> 
> P.s- Sorry not sorry.

_When Ritsu Onodera first opens his eyes, his heart stops. The room he wakes up in is large and cold, and at first, he does not recognize it._

_It's the bookcase that finally triggers his memory. This is his room, or at least it used to be. It's the place he hid himself away in whenever the silence of his family's too large mansion made him feel like he couldn't breathe. But he hasn't seen this room since he was a teenager, and he has no idea how he got here._

" _What the_ hell?"  _Ritsu sits up too quickly and winces when a stab of pain assaults his head. "Ow," he mutters, rubbing his forehead briefly. The far too soft and silky blankets that had been pulled up to his shoulders now pool around his waist lifelessly. Something about the way they feel sparks a cold flame of repulsion within him. He looks around, hoping that the walls surrounding him have miraculously transformed back into the familiar room of the bedroom in his apartment during the two seconds he had his eyes closed._ _No such luck._

' _Masamune… where's Masamune?'_

_Ritsu can't describe the wave of panic and sadness that crashes into him when he looks to his left and sees that there's nobody next to him. He hasn't woken up alone in a long time._

" _What's going on?"_

_The last thing he remembers is falling asleep next to Masamune back at their apartment. How the hell did he end up here?_

_He doesn't know, but he's getting out of here now! Standing up, Ritsu hisses when his feet touch the floor. It feels like ice! His eyes decide on their own to wander around the room. Even after all this time, it's still big and sparsely decorated; his parents had disapproved any pictures or posters he had tried to hang on his wall. The only things that had been allowed had been his bed, a bookshelf, a desk, and a beanbag that he’d had to argue furiously to keep._

_Being back here makes him feel just as isolated and lonely as it had when he'd still lived here, and dared to call himself an Onodera._

_Ritsu wants to leave; to go back home, and back to Masamune._

_He starts for the bedroom door. There's no way in hell he's staying here any longer! But just before his hand meets the doorknob, it suddenly twists, and the door swings open. His heart nearly jumps out of his throat, and he jerks back to avoid being hit. The person he'd most been hoping for, and yet least expecting walks through the door._

" _Masamune?" Ritsu asks in disbelief. He isn't even embarrassed about the relief and happiness that can be heard in his voice, he's just glad that he's not alone anymore. He takes hold of Masamune's hand and squeezes._ _A single red flag raises in his mind when the gesture is not returned, b_ _ut he brushes it off for now. He can worry it after he's gotten the two of them out of here. "What's happening? How did we get here? Do you-"_

_Masamune cuts Ritsu off mid-question, grabbing the back of his head and yanking him forward, crashing their lips together harshly._

_Ritsu yelps and his eyes fly open wide. The surprise keeps him from reacting for a few moments._

_This clearly displeases Masamune, as he pulls away from Ritsu with a frown._

_Ritsu blinks, trying to clear the fog that Masamune always causes to fill his head. He quickly inhales deeply, trying to refill his burning lungs. When he looks up he sees that there's something in Masamune's hazel eyes that makes his entire body feel cold. "H-hey, Masamune, what's the matter? Are you okay?" He isn't aware of when he starts moving, but he gasps in pain when his back slams into the wall._

_Masamune brings their lips back together, and simply uses the opportunity to tilt Ritsu's chin up and deepen the kiss further._

_Ritsu feels dizzy. His back and head are starting to ache from being pressed against the wall so forcefully. He can't_ breathe. _He grips Masamune's shoulders tightly in an attempt to signal his need for air._

_Masamune ignores him._

_Everything about this kiss feels wrong. Ritsu is scared._

_With no warning whatsoever, Masamune snatches his hands back from Ritsu and turns away._

_Ritsu pants, trying desperately to catch his breath. He doesn't move away from the wall; he doesn't trust his shaky legs._

" _Why do you always push me away?"_

_Ritsu's head snaps up. It's the first thing Masamune's said to him since he woke up back at this hellhole, but now he won't look at him. "What? I don't-"_

_Masamune finally turns to face Ritsu, but his eyes are completely empty of any emotion._

_Ritsu cringes._

_“Just like that.” Masamune gestures to Ritsu's tense figure. “You_ always _do this. I thought we had gotten past this part, but you still do everything in your power to keep me out. I'm getting tired of being with somebody who's always trying to run away from me and is never honest about their feelings.”_

_It's like getting shot in the chest all over again._

_No; this is_ worse.

_Ritsu can hear the heart beating in his chest crack. "What are you saying, Masamune?" He bites his lip, but it's too late to hide the way his voice trembles._

_Masamune doesn't even blink. "I'm saying we're done, Onodera."_

_He might as well just rip Ritsu's heart out and snap it in two. It would hurt less than this._

" _What?" Ritsu's voice is pathetically small. "No!" He grabs Masamune's sweatshirt sleeve and holds on until his knuckles whiten. "I'm sorry, okay? You're right; I'll try to be better. But please, don't do this. Please don't leave me again!" It hurts to swallow past the tightness in his throat that always means he's about to cry._

_Masamune's blank expression doesn't change. "You left me first," he says flatly, yanking his sleeve out of Ritsu's grip. "Yokozawa was right; I shouldn't have gotten involved with you again."_

_The words he's always dreaded hearing the most stab him in the stomach. Ritsu thinks he's going to throw up. "Masamune, please-" His throat closes up. He wonders if this is what it's like to suffocate._

_Masamune shakes his head. An emotion finally flickers back into his eyes: Disgust. He doesn't say another word; just calmly opens the door and walks out, totally ignoring Ritsu's pleading for him not to._

_The door closes, and then he's gone. It's like he'd never been there in the first place._

_Ritsu feels… completely numb, for all of three seconds. Then the reality crashes down and a choked gasp tears it's way straight from his chest out of his mouth. Everything_ hurts,  _and he slowly sinks down to the floor. He can't find the will to stand, to do_ anything  _anymore._

_He stays that way for an untold amount of time._

_After a while, Ritsu looks around at his lifeless, unwelcoming room. It occurs to him just how ironic all of this is._

_It's funny, in a tragic sort of way, but before he had started dating Masamune again, he'd always been okay with being on his own. Living by himself, he'd gotten used to it; the silence and the emptiness, he means. Eventually, he had even come to expect it, and appreciate it if he's being honest. But now that the solitude and quiet are sneaking back up on him, and trying to swallow him whole once again, he can't help but realize one thing:_

_Being with another person, with Masamune, has made him utterly_ terrified  _of being alone. But Ritsu screwed everything up, just like he always does, and now he's made his own worst fear come true._

* * *

When Ritsu wakes up, for real this time, there are tears streaming down his face. He shoots up with a gasp and places his hand on his chest. His heartbeat is racing wildly, and the small scar located right next to his heart is burning just a bit, indicating that he sat up too fast. Coughing, he brings his hand to his face and attempts to swipe the tears away, but it's useless; they just won't stop.

A yawn. Then, "Ritsu?"

Ritsu freezes at the sleep-filled sound of Masamune's voice. It somehow seems like the tears start falling faster. He presses his hand over his mouth so that he doesn't do anything stupid, like sob. It doesn't work. A pitiful choked noise still escapes the back of his throat despite his best efforts.

Masamune is instantly awake. "Hey," he says, sitting up. It's dark as hell, but he can still make out the outline of Ritsu with his knees pulled to his chest, like he's trying to curl himself into a ball. Something's wrong. "Ritsu, are you okay? what's the matter?"

It's such a sharp contrast from the uncaring and harsh tone that Masamune had used in his dream that Ritsu can't help but squeeze his eyes shut for a moment. He inhales sharply, trying one more time to stop the tears. It's still useless. "It's nothing," he claims, but even to his own ears, the lie is obvious. "Just a… a bad dream." His voice almost breaks, so he puts his hand back against his mouth and doesn't say anything else.

Masamune isn't fooled. The tremor in Ritsu's voice that he's unsuccessfully trying to hide punches him in the stomach. Because his strong, stubborn, iron-willed Ritsu is _crying._

Ritsu quietly takes a deep, shuddering breath and holds it for a second, trying to get his voice back under control. "Sorry for waking you up," he says only a little wobbly. "Please go back to sleep."

"No way." Masamune doesn't hesitate, doesn't even think before he rejects that ridiculous idea. Like hell would he be able to sleep knowing that Ritsu is next to him  _crying._ He stretches his arm out and wraps it around Ritsu's shoulders. They're tense for a second, but they slump under Masamune's touch quickly enough. "You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want, but I'm  _not_ leaving you alone like this," he promises.

 _Alone._ That word triggers even more tears to fall down Ritsu's face. A sob finally forces it's way past his lips, and he presses his forehead against his knees. At this point, the only thing keeping him grounded is Masamune's arm around his shoulders. Dammit, why can't he stop crying? This is getting really annoying! "S-sorry," he apologizes again.

Masamune clicks his tongue but doesn't reprimand him. Instead, he starts rubbing circles in between Ritsu's shoulder blades because he doesn't know what else to do. Dammit all, he's  _useless_ with crying people.

A hard lump forms in Ritsu's throat at Masamune's gesture that makes it even more difficult to breathe.

_You're causing him trouble again._

The disembodied voice in Ritsu's head sounds suspiciously reminiscent of Yokozawa. His stomach suddenly feels very heavy.

_Masamune deserves better than somebody who's always dishonest and evasive like you._

The voice shifts back into Ritsu's own, and part of him agrees with it. Nausea churns in his stomach. When he thinks about it, the reason his nightmare scared him so much is that there's a very high possibility for it to become reality. No matter how he looks at it, he can't deny that he's hardly the most desirable romantic partner. He's a rude, stubborn workaholic, and even he can admit that he's terrible at communicating his feelings properly. There's no good explanation for Masamune continuing to stay with someone like him. And nothing scares him more than the moment that Masamune realizes this as well.

Masamune is so busy trying to think of something,  _anything_ he can do to make Ritsu stop crying, that when Ritsu asks him a question in a small voice, further muffled by being spoken into his knees, he nearly misses it.

"Why do you put up with me?"

Masamune's hand stills, and he blinks. "Huh?" His ears have to be on the fritz; they're making him hear ridiculous things. "What the hell is that supposed to mean," he asks, moving from Ritsu's side to sit in front of him.

Ritsu flinches. He hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Masamune's concern grows when Ritsu's arms tighten where they're crossed around his knees, like he's trying to make himself even smaller than he already is. Ritsu still won't look at him.

Ritsu's mouth keeps moving without his consent. He can't seem to stop the jumbled mess of everything in his head right now from spilling out like vomit. "In my dream, you told me that you…" he pauses. Masamune's words from his dream still sting worse than any acid ever could. "That you were done with me because I always push you away and I'm never honest about how I feel." He shuts his lips tight after he manages to force those words out. They taste even worse than they'd sounded.

The pain poorly concealed in Ritsu's tone hits Masamune like a knife wound. Fury and sadness simmer underneath his skin. The idea that there's a version of himself, even a dream one, that finds Ritsu less than perfect in every way is unthinkable. He wishes he could conjure Ritsu's dream form of himself and punch him in the face.

Masamune takes a breath, but before he can say a word Ritsu's mouth opens again. Apparently, it wasn't done embarrassing him yet. "And it hurt," he confesses hollowly. "But you were right; I'm so selfish. I don't deserve you."

 _'What?'_ Masamune hisses. "No, Ritsu, none of that is true," he immediately protests.

Ritsu can't make himself stop. He thinks that if he doesn't say this now, he never will, and it will stay buried somewhere in his chest until he suffocates. "We're going out now, but I'm still so bad at letting you in. It's not fair to you. I don't know how, but you always manage to be so straightforward. You should have someone who can at least do the same." His throat feels raw by the time he finally stops spewing words out of it.

Masamune can't take this anymore. "Ritsu," he says, the desperation in his voice is audible even to him. He places his hands on top of Ritsu's, where they're still wrapped around his knees like a safety blanket. "Look at me, please," he begs, interlacing their fingers together.

Startled, Ritsu finally looks up.

Beautiful, ocean green eyes that are still overflowing with tears lock with Masamune's hazel ones. His heart cracks. Impulsively, he kisses the backs of Ritsu's hands. "I've said it before, but I have no problem saying it again: Nobody's allowed to insult the guy I love, even if it's you."

Ritsu's breath gets stuck in his throat until a sob forces it out.

Masamune untangles one of his hands so that he can wipe away the tears flooding down Ritsu's face. “Your dream version of me was an _idiot,”_ he declares with a frown. Ritsu looks like he wants to argue, so Masamune keeps talking so that he doesn't get the opportunity. “Like hell would something like that make me leave you. I waited for you for ten years, Ritsu; give me a little credit,” he says firmly.

"Exactly!" Ritsu exclaims. "It took ten years, and then a ridiculous amount of time for me to tell you how I feel. Who has the patience to put up with someone like that?" he demands.

"I do." Masamune answers without hesitation.

The air gets trapped in Ritsu's lungs.

Masamune stares into Ritsu's eyes evenly. "Your shyness is one of the things I love the most about you," he says, leaving room for nothing but sincerity in his tone. "It's fine that you aren't used to be saying it; I know that you love me."

The complete and utter lack of doubt Masamune speaks with makes Ritsu's face heat up, but he nods vigorously in agreement. "Yes, I do! I… I love you, Masamune. Even back when I was in denial and worse at admitting it than I am now, I loved you. And I'm sorry that I'm so bad at saying it. I just…"

Masamune smiles. Thumb still under Ritsu's eye and his palm still resting against Ritsu's warm cheek, he doesn't bother fighting his instinct to lean forward and kiss his boyfriend.

Ritsu's eyes widen when their lips meet and his head ends up pressed firmly into their headboard. A sharp stab of fear pierces him when that awful kiss from his nightmare replays itself in his mind. But then Masamune's fingers slide from his cheek up into his hair, and it's so incredibly  _gentle;_ nothing like that other one, and he can't help but melt into it. His eyes slowly drift closed.

Masamune doesn't relent for a good long while. Eventually, and only when the basic human need of breathing leaves him no other choice does he pull away slightly. His eyes are still closed, so Masamune uses the opportunity to shamelessly let his eyes take in Ritsu's appearance. It shouldn't be possible for a single individual to be so breathtakingly beautiful, but Ritsu Onodera has always been one for defying realistic expectations.

Ritsu's eyes flutter open when it registers that he is no longer being kissed. His cheeks are still wet, but he realizes that the tears have finally stopped.

Masamune notices it too. "You stopped crying," he sighs in relief.

Ritsu sniffs and wipes the last of the tears away from the corners of his eyes. "Finally. That was getting really irritating."

The tired smile on his face goes straight to Masamune's heart. He doesn't know how Ritsu is oblivious to just how perfect he is in Masamune's eyes, but Masamune will happily remind him every day for the rest of their lives if he has to. "Remember this, Ritsu," he says, taking Ritsu's hands and entwining their fingers once again. "It's not about how often you say 'I love you.' Saying that over and over again doesn't make the words any more special. It just makes you sound repetitive," he says matter-of-factly.

Ritsu laughs; small but genuinely. "That sounds ironic coming from you. You never  _stop_ saying it," he says pointedly.

"True," Masamune smirks. Truthfully, though, he's just glad that Ritsu is smiling and laughing again. "But I'm a special case."

Ritsu snorts and lets himself fall forward until his forehead lands on Masamune's chest.

Shock immobilizes Masamune for all of two seconds before he snaps himself out of it and wraps his arms around Ritsu. "I love you, Ritsu. And I do know that you love me," he promises. He knows he's said the right thing when Ritsu relaxes even more against him. Masamune drops a quick kiss on the top of his head. "It's okay if words aren't how you express yourself."

Ritsu's finally dry eyes begin aching once more. Dammit, he is  _not_ going to cry again!

Oops, too late.

"You show your feelings by doing other things," Masamune starts, bringing his hand up to run his fingers through Ritsu's hair. "Like always making my coffee in the mornings before we go to work so that I can sleep for a few more minutes. And when you stay up waiting for me when one of my meetings run late. Or trying to make dinner even though you're a terrible cook," he smiles wryly.

Ritsu protests weakly. It's not his fault; why is making food so damn hard?

"It's all the little things that show what you really feel." Here, Masamune's voice lowers to a near whisper. "I know you, Ritsu Onodera. I know what it means when you  _do,_ rather than  _say."_

If this keeps up any longer, Ritsu's heart is going to explode.

"It took a while, but I learned how to read between the lines. So please, don't ever change. You're fine just staying as you are."

Ah, there goes Ritsu's heart. It never was good at staying calm when it comes to Masamune, and now is no exception. He isn't in control of his actions when his arms raise to go around Masamune's neck; returning the man's embrace. "Shit. This just made it more confusing."

Masamune frowns. "What's confusing?" he asks, prompting Ritsu to elaborate.

Ritsu complies. "I still don't get why you choose to put up with me when it would be a lot easier to go for somebody less wishy-washy," he admits quietly.

Masamune cannot believe what he is hearing. Had Ritsu literally not heard  _anything_ he'd just said? Honestly. He's already gearing up to tell Ritsu the same thing again and again until it finally sinks through that thick skull-

"But thank you, Masamune."

Those words and that smile remind Masamune painfully of just how hopelessly whipped he is for this man. Oh well, it's not like he didn't already know. "Always," he vows. "And I'm glad that you told me about this, instead of bottling it up like you usually do. Please do so more in the future, and I will always happily tell you just how amazing you are and how much I love you whenever you need to hear it." The corner of his mouth twists up. "But just so you know, I'll probably say it even without you telling me to."

Ritsu knows he means it. He opens his mouth, not sure what's left to say but wanting to say something anyway. Instead, a huge yawn escapes. Oh yeah, it's like three o'clock in the morning.

Masamune takes that as his cue. "But for now, I think we should go back to sleep," he says, laying down and pulling Ritsu with him.

Ritsu yelps at the sudden movement, but doesn't struggle.

Masamune hums in approval and guides Ritsu's head to lay on his chest. Another thing he knows about Ritsu, even without being told, is that he not so secretly loves using him as a pillow.

Ritsu can hear the smirk on Masamune's face. The jerk knows exactly what he's doing, using one of Ritsu's weaknesses against him. But all he can do is grumble a bit and relax into a more comfortable position.

Masamune continues brushing Ritsu's hair with his fingers. "It's way past your bedtime, young man," he says, just because he knows it'll rustle Ritsu's feathers.

It succeeds quite nicely.

"I am not a child," Ritsu says flatly. He makes no move to remove himself from where he's curled up next to Masamune though. He's way too comfortable, and hearing Masamune's heart beating steadily in his ears is… Well, it's nice.

Chest full of warmth and contentment, Masamune closes his eyes. "Goodnight. I'll make sure the nightmares stay away from you this time."

Ritsu is certain that Masamune can feel how red his face turns, but thankfully Masamune doesn't call him out on it. "Goodnight." He takes a quick breath, gathering his courage. "I love you, Masamune."

Masamune can honestly say that if the world was to somehow end in that exact moment, he could die happy. "I know. I love you, too."

Ritsu's lips curl into a smile. Breathing in the comforting scent of cigarette smoke and fresh copy paper that is Masamune Takano, he drifts off to sleep.

He doesn't have another dream that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does everyone forgive me now for that cliffhanger preview? No? Okay. It's fine; you'll all forgive me when the one next chapter goes up because it's going to be Pure. Fluff. 
> 
> P.s- So... I have a confession to make. I just finished rewatching the anime, (again. Probably for about the tenth time this year) but I've never actually read the manga. I just... can't... I'm literally so awkward and the subject of sex makes my soul want to tear itself from my body and... yeah. But this week I finally cracked. I've had to read half of it through squinted eyes and scrolling really fast so that I don't die.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impulse control (or the lack thereof)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol this chapter was not so vaguely influenced by me impulsively deciding to cut my hair. It went almost halfway down my back and now it's just above my shoulders. I kind of like it, it's a lot easier to manage now.

Ritsu Onodera is currently facing quite the dilemma. As usual, it's all Masamune's fault.

' _Snap out of it!'_ He curses himself. _'This is stupid.'_ He knows this perfectly well, but he still can't make himself move. Once again, his body won't listen to what his mind is saying. He's been standing, frozen, staring at his and Masamune's dresser for the last fifteen minutes trying to fight off this  _ridiculous_ impulse that's taken over him. So far he isn't succeeding.

The very subjects of his torment are sitting on top of the dresser, staring back at him mockingly.

Masamune had certainly not helped matters by texting to say that Isaka had called an emergency meeting about some hiccup in the magazine's process or something like that, and that he would be later than usual getting home.

' _It's_ stupid,' Ritsu tells himself again firmly. _'If I have the time to mess around doing pointless stuff like that, I should give Ms. Mutou a call and see how her manuscript is coming along.'_ But even as he tries to talk himself out of it, his traitorous body ignores his protests and inches slowly towards the dresser.

Masamune still won't be home for a while. So maybe...

"Just…" Ritsu bites his lip. "Just for a little bit," he tells himself, finally giving up and picking up the soft hoodie laying in front of him. Even he can tell that he's lying. Damn it all,  _why_ does he not have any type of impulse control?

The hoodie is soft as Ritsu slides it over his head. And somehow it's still warm, even though he knows it hasn't been touched since early this morning when Masamune had traded it for work clothes. The fact that it smells like smoke and ink does  _not_ make Ritsu's heart race, and it  _doesn't_  make his stomach feel all fluttery either!

Okay, fine. Maybe it does just a little. This means nothing!

Decidedly warmer than he was just moments ago, Ritsu's eyes find themselves wandering back towards the dresser. A pair of black rectangular frames are placed, neatly folded, right next to where the hoodie had been.

 _Masamune's glasses._ They're just sitting there, and it's not like Masamune needs them right now or anything…

Ritsu picks them up, turning them around and examining them. They're black, and honestly pretty plain. He isn't used to wearing glasses, and they feel strange as the fall into place on his nose. He opens his eyes and blinks rapidly. No matter what he does though, the blurriness doesn't clear. This is what Masamune sees even  _with_ the glasses?  _'Holy crap! How the hell does he see_ anything?!' He moves the glasses to the very end of his nose so that he's still technically wearing them, but now he can see. Curiosity overtakes him, and he can't help himself from glancing at the mirror.

As expected, the hoodie is way too large for Ritsu. And no matter what he does, it hangs off of his shoulder awkwardly. Plus, the glasses don't really suit him. He looks, and feels, like a child playing dress up. "Shouldn't I have learned my lesson about controlling these foolish impulses already?" He mutters, thinking back to high school when he had attempted to smother himself on Masamune's bed. This is pointless. He should just get back to work. He knows this! And yet… he can't bring himself to remove the glasses, or part from the surprisingly cozy hoodie.

It's alright if he keeps it on a little while longer, right? Masamune still isn't here, so what's the harm?

Ritsu stares critically at his reflection. "You look ridiculous," he tells it flatly. His reflection nods with him in agreement. His lips curl up. He hates to say it, but this is kind of fun.

Another impulse strikes him, and Ritsu already knows he'll do no better fighting off this one than he had the last. He already looks like Masamune. Now, maybe Ritsu should act like him too. And now that the thought has entered his head he has to do it, or he won't be able to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day. Giving in, he frowns solemnly at the mirror. "I'm Masamune Takano," he announces, dropping his voice into an exaggeratedly low pitch. "I'm a big shot editor-in-chief who likes making my employee's lives a living hell." His impression of Masamune is so bad, even to him. He can't maintain the serious expression any longer. Wrapping his arms around his stomach, he bursts into laughter. God, what the hell is he even doing?

It takes a while for Ritsu to regain his composure, but when he does he forces his face back into a neutral state. Why is he doing this? He needs to be doing work! But this is so much fun, and it's not like anyone will ever find out about it. Mind made up, he clears his throat.

"Onodera!" He snaps, voice dropped way too low again. "Go and make copies of these documents right now because I have to call Ms. Ichinose and tell her the new chapter is boring." His lips twitch, and he nearly breaks character. "And after I do that, I'm going to go down to the Sales Department and yell at Yokozawa. We haven't had our usual screaming match lately so I need to remedy that." He covers his mouth with his hand in a poor attempt to smother the laughter that pours out of him.

The voice may be not quite right, but Ritsu thinks it's still a pretty accurate portrayal of Masamune if he does say so himself. "I'm always right about everything, and the only reason that anything ever goes wrong with the magazine is that nobody ever listens to me." That's a little more genuine than he had intended, but still true. But now's the time for making fun of his boyfriend, not praising him. Time to switch gears. "I think that publishing should be a three hundred and sixty-five day a year affair because we don't suffer enough as it is." There we go, much better.

Ritsu turns away from the mirror, dramatically extending his arm to point at nothing in particular. "Is this the kind of half-assed work you think is okay to show me!?" He manages to keep an even expression for no longer than three seconds before he sinks down to the floor and laughs for so long his stomach starts hurting. Jeez, this is the most fun he's had in ages!

' _I'm so glad Masamune isn't here. He would_ never  _let me live this down.'_ Speaking of which, what time is it anyway? Ritsu's eyes wander, settling on to the alarm clock. A small part of him dies when he sees the time and realizes that he's totally forgotten to call Ms. Mutou. Shit, how had he let himself get so distracted? He needs to stop this right now and contact his author.

But this is so fun… just five more minutes can't hurt, right? He's just going to do one more, and then he'll get to work; he swears!

' _Liar,'_ his mind whispers traitorously. Ritsu ignores it. Turning back to face the mirror again, he puts his hand on his hip and smoothes his expression as much as he can. He has the perfect thing.

"Onodera," he says, twisting his lips into a confident smirk. It feels very unnatural on his face. "I'll make you say you love me again." Even after all this time, the memory of those words still makes his heart miss a beat. But then he looks at his appearance in the mirror, and can't keep up the charade any longer. It's just too much! Collapsing back onto his bed he crosses his arms over his stomach and laughs until he can't breathe and there are tears in the corner of his eyes. God, that was so lame. How the hell had Masamune managed to make it look so cool?

"I didn't say it like that."

Ritsu stops laughing instantly.  _'Oh. Shit.'_

Whoever coined the phrase "Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear", had clearly done so with Masamune Takano in mind.

Said 'devil' crosses his arms over his chest when Ritsu fails to respond. "And what the hell was with that weird face you were making?" Masamune asks, eyebrow raised judgmentally from where he stands in the bedroom doorway. "It was creepy."

Ritsu stays still. Maybe if he doesn't move, Masamune won't see him.  _'How long has he been standing there!? Why didn't I notice him sooner?'_

Masamune sighs. "You're so weird."

Outrage heats Ritsu's skin.  _'Like you're one to talk!'_

Masamune leans against the doorframe. "And anyway, what I said was 'I'll make you fall in love with me again'. Get it right."

Rits can't decide if he wants to throttle Masamune, or himself for getting into this situation in the first place. "What's the difference?" He asks, sitting up and trying to act like he's not an inch away from dying of embarrassment. He can't seem to look Masamune in the eyes. The black frames conspicuously sliding a bit further down his nose definitely do not help. "And how long were you standing there, watching me like a creep,' he demands.

"Long enough."

Ritsu now regrets wearing the hoodie; his face is getting way too hot!

Masamune finally peels himself away from the doorway. He walks across the room; stopping in front of where Ritsu's still sitting on the bed.

Ritsu's heard thuds with every footstep. He keeps his eyes planted on the ground.

Masamune won't have it. "So," he asks, using his pointer finger to tilt Ritsu's head up. "What on earth did this world do bad enough to deserve being cursed with another Masamune Takano on it?"

"Huh?" Ritsu's eyes widen. Breathing becomes much more difficult than it should be.

Masamune grins. Honestly, this is the most adorable thing he's ever seen. Ritsu is playing with a very dangerous fire. He should know by now what him acting cute makes Masamune do. "Having two Masamune's on the same planet is a terrible idea," he says seriously. "Not to mention that they are quite the strange creature. They're so picky, and they can't function if they don't have one very important thing."

Ritsu knows that Masamune is messing with him. But that doesn't stop him from asking, "And what is that?"

Masamune's smile widens. He leans down, placing his hands the mattress, one on either side of Ritsu's body. Then he bends his head down until he and Ritsu are basically nose to nose and whispers, "Every Masamune Takano needs a Ritsu Onodera at their side. Otherwise, they become a total disaster."

Ritsu's face could probably give a stop sign a run for its money. "I… I'm sure that's not true-"

Masamune shakes his head. "I would never lie about something like that. It's a very crucial matter." His curved lips contradict his statement. "If you separate a Masamune from his Ritsu, you may as well build your own coffin while you dig your grave."

Ritsu wishes his lungs would start doing their jobs properly.

"But my Ritsu seems to have gone missing. I thought he would be here when I got home, but I don't see him anywhere. Maybe you can help me find him."

"What are you even saying? You make absolutely no sense." Ritsu, for his own health and safety, pushes the glasses back up the bridge of his nose. The blurriness that takes over his vision means that Masamune transforms from, well… Masamune, to a vague outline that is much less likely to make Ritsu's heart explode.

Masamune is already planning to buy a pair of reading glasses for Ritsu to wear around the house. They look  _good,_ and he is furious with himself for not realizing this much sooner. "Well, Ritsu doesn't wear glasses. And he would never be so bold as to just help himself to my sweatshirt, so you must not be him. Clearly, I have been cloned into a much shorter version of myself."

"Hey!"

Masamune snickers. He regrets nothing; all of this is Ritsu's own fault. "So then, have you seen him? He's got impossibly soft hair, gorgeous green eyes, and his nose is buried in a book ninety percent of the time. Also, I'm head over heels in love with him."

When Ritsu gets his heart rate back under control, Masamune is so dead. "I'm right here, jackass."

Masamune fakes a gasp and brings his hand to his mouth. "What? That's impossible. I think I would recognize my own boyfriend if he was right in front of me."

Ritsu takes a breath to demand that Masamune stop being such a prick. But his voice dies in his throat when a warm hand cups his face.

"I guess there's only one way I can know for sure if you're telling me the truth," Masamune says, gently sliding the glasses from Ritsu's face and casting them to the side. He'll worry about finding them later, but right now he couldn't care less about damaging his glasses. The way Ritsu's face instantly turns bright red fills him with satisfaction. "Ah, it is you."

' _Too close!'_ Ritsu leans back a little. If he doesn't get back some of his personal space  _now,_ he'll probably pass out. But as always, Masamune knows him far too well. He pushes forward at the same time Ritsu pulls away. And of course, because this is his life, Ritsu loses his balance and the air is forced from his lungs with an  _Oomph_ when he falls backward onto their bed.

Masamune makes sure Ritsu won't be able to escape by keeping his knee planted between Ritsu's legs and placing his hands on either side of his head. He takes a moment to appreciate the heat radiating from the body beneath him. "You," he says, tracing the curve of Ritsu's neck with his finger, "Are far too adorable for your own good."

Ritsu's neck has always been pretty sensitive, and jolts of electricity sent from contact with Masamune's skin shoot down his spine and make him shiver.

Masamune brushes his lips against Ritsu's, very warm, cheek. "Love the hoodie, by the way. It looks great on you, and I think you should wear it all the time."

Ritsu wonders if it's possible to die from blushing. With his luck though, he wouldn't be surprised if he was the first one to manage it. "No thank you."

Masamune frowns, tapping his chin in thought. "Yeah, I guess you're right, that isn't a realistic idea, huh?" he concedes. Moving the collar of his hoodie away from Ritsu's throat, he kisses the side of Ritsu's neck. He takes no small amount of pride it the way he feels Ritsu's pulse jump and his breath falter.

More shocks race down Ritsu's spine, and he squeezes his eyes shut tight. Will he ever get used to the raging whirlwind of sensations Masamune stirs within him? Probably not.

"And right now it would probably look better on the floor anyway. Along with all of the rest of your clothes, please."

Ritsu is going to die. Cause of death: Masamune Takano. "No way! I have work to do," he protests. It doesn't sound very convincing.

"Just do it later," Masamune counters. When it looks like Ritsu is going to try and argue again he huffs, and bites down on the patch of skin just between Ritsu's neck and shoulder. Just hard enough to ensure that it leaves a visible mark that won't fade for at least a few days.

It's like Ritsu's entire body gets set on fire. He jerks reflexively, but Masamune doesn't let up. His head starts going fuzzy like it always does around his boyfriend. Maybe, just maybe Masamune has a point. It's not like the manuscript is going anywhere. "Later… later works," he says shakily.

Masamune's heart misses a beat and fills so full with something warm and content that he thinks it might just burst. "Glad we agree on something," he says, brushing a strand of Ritsu's hair out of the way. It's getting long. "Ritsu, I'm going to kiss you now."

_Thud._

The air gets stuck in Ritsu's lungs.  _'Idiot, don't announce it!'_ He thinks. But what he ends up saying instead is, "Ok."

Even later, Masamune still can't decide whether he likes seeing his hoodie on Ritsu, or in a crumpled heap on the floor from their bed. He decides that both options are equally good.

Ritsu doesn't end up getting the chance to call Ms. Mutou until the next afternoon.

And, well, if he  _has_ to wear Masamune's hoodie again in order to hide the obvious mark that's sitting proudly on his neck, (accompanied now by quite a few matching ones,) then Masamune certainly isn't going to complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ritsu: Masamune isn't home so while he's gone I’m gonna steal his outfit and do bad impressions of him
> 
> Kisa: Why
> 
> Ritsu: He's pretty much 85% of my impulse control
> 
> P.s- I don't know how fairs work in Japan but the fair is coming to my town this weekend and my bff requested a fair date chapter. It's gonna be sickeningly cheesy and adorable. And v e r y cliche. You have been warned.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All's Fair In Love and War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess who's not dead!? (Oh wait, never mind. I did die.) Because this thing is almost eight. Thousand. Words. *Posts this from beyond the grave because writing it fucking killed me*
> 
> P.s- In all seriousness I really missed you guys. And I'm especially excited to give y'all this chapter, because my best friend is the one inspired it. Thanks a lot for putting up with me rambling about this fic 24/7; this one's for you, Lori!!!!!!!

Thursdays are the root of all evil. Every week they cruelly dangle the hope of Friday in everyone's faces, but never fail to end with nothing but disappoint and more work due before the  _real_ Friday is done. They're a _disgrace._

Where was he going with this again? Oh yeah: he _hates_ Thursdays.

"Hey, Rittie?" Kisa whispers to the man sitting next to him "Are you excited for this weekend?" He grins.

But Ritsu Onodera is so engrossed in his work that he doesn't hear Kisa's question at first. There's something off about the manuscript in front of him, he's sure of it. Maybe it's the timing? Or the dialogue? He just can't figure it out. And dammit all, he  _really_ doesn't want to ask Masamune for help. He won't! He'll fix it by himself if it kills him. There's no way-

"Hey." Kisa frowns at being ignored and pokes him in the ribs.

Ritsu shrieks, and nearly falls out of his chair. "W-what was that for?" he asks, putting his hand over his chest to try and bring down his spiked heart rate.

"What's with that old man reaction?" Kisa teases lightly.

Ritsu pouts. First Kisa tries to kill him, then he mocks him? So rude.

"Anyway," Kisa continues excitedly. "This weekend. You looking forward to it?"

Ritsu frowns. "This weekend?" What's so special about it? Is it somebody's birthday, maybe? "Is something happening?"

It's an honest question, but you'd think that he's just committed high treason based on Kisa's reaction. "Rittie, please tell me you're joking," he begs, eyes wide and jaw dropped. "The fair is coming to town!"

Ritsu blinks.  _'The fair?'_  Oh, yeah, that's right. He has heard people talking about that lately, but it had totally slipped his mind.

Kisa slaps his hand to his chest like he's been wounded. "Takano! This is unacceptable!"

Masamune Takano looks up from the documents littering his desk with a deep glare. There's a dark aura so potent it's almost visible radiating from him. Looks like he's in full Demon mode today.

' _Crap!'_ Ritsu snaps his gaze back down to the manuscript. If there's one thing he's learned after all this time, it's that, boyfriend or not, Masamune will have no mercy on anyone when he's like this. Well, he does usually yell at Ritsu the least, so there's that.

"What the hell are you yammering on about?" Masamune snaps irritably. "If you two schoolgirls have time to gossip, do your work!" He takes another vicious sip of his coffee and then tosses the empty cup aside.

Ritsu is highly concerned. He's been counting, and that was Masamune's eighth cup. Even  _he_ doesn't usually drink that much coffee.

"It's your boyfriend's fault," Kisa says defensively.

' _Don't put the blame on me!'_

"He didn't know that the fair was this weekend!" Kisa yells like he's been personally offended. "How could you let this happen?"

"Huh?" Masamune's frown grows even sharper if that were possible, and his eye twitches dangerously. "Who the hell gives a shit about some stupid fair?" he demands peevishly.

Kisa proves that he has no fear of dying by continuing to argue with the Demon. "It only comes once a year. Everyone should look forward to it," he says sternly.

_‘Are we talking about the fair, or Santa Claus?’_

Mino nods in agreement with Kisa. "True. It's not something we can do every day. It should be celebrated."

"Exactly," Kisa smiles gratefully towards his newfound comrade. "See, Mino understands."

' _I don't.'_

Hatori covers the mouthpiece of the phone he's been using to try and contact his author for the last ten minutes. But Chiharu Yoshikawa clearly does not want to be found today. "Excuse me, but could we all get back to work, please?" He phrases it like a question, but the strain in his voice and the irritation in his eyes indicates that it's not a request.

"Hatori's right," Ritsu tries to refocus his attention. He doesn't think when he next mentions, "Besides, I've never even been to the fair, so I don't particularly get what all the fuss is about." He shrugs, looking back down at the paper on his desk with a scowl. He  _will_ find out what the problem is,  _without_ Masamune's help. It's mostly a matter of pride, but also… Masamune just looks really stressed out right now, okay? So what's the big deal if Ritsu wants to help him out in any way he can? It's not like…

Ritsu finally notices the dead silence the room has fallen into.

Mino's seemingly glued on smile has been transformed into an 'O' of surprise. The ever stoic Hatori's eyes are just a bit wider than usual. It's difficult to catch him off guard. Kisa's features are twisted into genuine horror.

And even Masamune has lost his sour scowl. Now, he's just staring at Ritsu like he's from a different planet.

"What?" Ritsu fidgets self-consciously. "My parents were always busy. And they didn't like the loud noise and bad food anyway. But it's not like I could go alone, so…" he trails off.

The silence still doesn't dissipate.

"Will you all stop staring at me?" Ritsu snaps. His face is turning red, he knows it.

Hatori, Mino, and Kisa all look at him with pity. "Wow, are you some kind of pampered prince that was locked away in a tower?" They ask in unison.

"I wasn't!"

None of them appear to believe him.

Ritsu cringes when Masamune suddenly stands up from his desk. Step by step, and in sync with Ritsu's thudding heart, he quickly crosses the room to stand next to Ritsu's chair. He pretends not to notice, and refuses to lift his eyes from his desk. Maybe if he doesn't move, Masamune will go away.

Yeah, right.

To make it all worse, Masamune doesn't even say anything; just stands there, _staring_ at him.

Ritsu's patience boils over. “Is there something I can help you with?” he asks with forced politeness.

Masamune simply raises his hand and drops it on top of Ritsu's head. "Onodera, keep this weekend free at all costs. We are going to the fair," he announces, ruffling Ritsu's hair into a hopeless mess.

The heat that radiates from Ritsu's face could be classified as a fire hazard. "What? No way, I'm too busy. And I thought you just said the fair was stupid," he argues.

"I changed my mind."

Ritsu's jaw clenches in agitation. _‘He_ always _does stuff like this. I can never keep up with him!’_

"Aww," Kisa coos. "How romantic." He only snickers when Ritsu glares darkly at him.

Mino laughs, and even Hatori cracks a smile.

"Don't I get a say in this?!" Ritsu demands.

"Nope," Masamune says breezily. "It's happening."

Ritsu glares down at his desk. The nerve of this guy!

But even as he thinks that, Ritsu can't help but feel, just a little bit excited.  _'The fair, huh?'_ He won't lie, he's always been curious about it. He supposes that it would be… nice to go with Masamune. Not that Ritsu would ever tell him that.

_Days until Ritsu and Masamune go to the fair: 2_

* * *

"Wow!"

Ritsu's head would fall off if it wasn't attached from how much he's craning his neck trying to look at… everything. Okay, maybe he'll admit that he was a little more than just  _kind of_ excited about this. The fair is huge! The rides towering into the sky look terrifying, and the music is loud but not overwhelming, which he appreciates. There's an ocean of people surrounding them, and everything smells either like grease or burned sugar.

It's all amazing, Ritsu loves it!

“Calm down, dummy. We're not even inside yet,” Masamune points out. But even though his words are harsh, the smile on his face is soft. He can't help it. After all, it's rare to see Ritsu so openly eager about something, and he's glad that he's the only one to see this side of his usually no-nonsense boyfriend.

Because of the fond expression on his face, Ritsu can’t bring himself to be too agitated at Masamune's brash behavior. “I know that. This is new to me, okay? Hush and let me enjoy it,” he huffs. His eyes widen when they lock onto a group of people crowded around a face-painting booth getting elaborate decorations drawn onto their skin. His scowl quickly melts back into the smile of excitement that's been on his face since they got there.

Masamune allows himself to stare unabashedly at Ritsu’s carefree expression, and grins. He'll be the first to admit that this is not his scene. But, the look on Ritsu's face right now is way more than making up for it. He'd happily go to a hundred fairs if it meant that Ritsu would keep smiling like that. But rather than say so, he says: "As you wish, your highness." He bows mockingly. What can he say, embarrassing Ritsu is one of his favorite pastimes.

Ritsu flushes. "Stop that," he hisses, grabbing Masamune's shoulders and forcing him to stand up straight. "People are staring!"

Masamune laughs. Ritsu just makes it so easy.

On the other side of the gates, a ride starts up. It looks like some kind of monstrous, circular swing set that's been on steroids for the last decade. As it starts to spin around faster and faster, it slowly rises up and up and  _up_ into the air. To put it nicely, it looks like a death trap.

So of course, it's the first one Ritsu notices.

Ritsu gasps. "What is  _that?"_ he asks, grabbing Masamune's hand in his excitement and pointing towards the ride.

Masamune's heart skips. He doesn't think Ritsu even realizes what he's just done, but like hell is he gonna be the one to point it out. Ritsu had actually grabbed  _his_ hand first, and he'll be damned if he doesn't enjoy it for all it's worth.

"I wanna go on that one first!" Ritsu says, squeezing Masamune's hand. His sea green eyes are glittering in a way that would make any ocean jealous.

Masamune is reminded of just how  _very_ weak he is for this man. It should probably bother him. It doesn't. "Okay," he agrees, squeezing Ritsu's hand back.

Ritsu freezes and his cheeks redden.

 _Shit._ Masamune curses himself for drawing attention to their linked hands. But shockingly, rather than Ritsu yanking his hand away as he'd expected, Ritsu merely looks firmly at his feet, but keeps holding on.

It's official, Masamune decides; entwining his fingers with those of the smaller, hot hand holding his own. Coming to the fair? Best. Idea. Ever.

* * *

It takes them almost twenty minutes just to get through the line to buy tickets. When Ritsu asks about it, Masamune just warns him that, "Fifty percent of going to the fair is waiting in lines."

"Really?" Ritsu asks. There's no annoyance in his voice, only genuine curiosity.

Masamune is once again struck by the fact that this is seriously Ritsu's first time at a place like this, and it makes something in his chest hurt a little. Fairs may not be his cup of tea, but he does have some fond memories about his parents taking him when he was younger. It had been a lot of fun. They're some of the only good things he remembers from his childhood before his parents had grown to hate the very sight of each other. But Ritsu; bright, shining Ritsu who had always seemed to have a picture perfect family before Masamune had known better, doesn't have any memories like that at all, even though he's probably the one who deserves them the most.

Masamune finds that unacceptable.

_Mission: Make sure Ritsu has a good time today at all costs._

"Really. So, what do you want to do first?" Masamune asks, giving Ritsu the reigns. He may not know it, but today is all about him.

"Um," Ritsu panics a bit. He's terrible with making decisions on such short notice. Luckily though, his stomach is more than happy to answer for him. It rumbles, loudly, and he feels his face heat up all the way to the tips of his ears.

"Of course," Masamune sighs, not surprised in the least. Honestly, what is it with his boyfriend and food? Actually, now that he thinks about it, he can't remember if he saw Ritsu eat breakfast this morning. It's almost two o'clock in the afternoon. "Did you even eat anything today?" He crosses his arms over his chest suspiciously.

The ground suddenly becomes very interesting to Ritsu for some reason. "I may… have gotten too excited and forgotten to eat," he admits reluctantly.

And wow, that's freaking adorable, but Masamune is not impressed. He would sincerely like to know how this man survived living on his own. "Remember that kind of thing, idiot!" He demands exasperatedly.

Ritsu cringes, but otherwise doesn't say anything to defend himself. He can't.

Masamune groans. "Why are you like this?"

Ritsu simply shrugs, smiling sheepishly.

And dammit, how can Masamune stay mad? It's scientifically impossible; Ritsu Onodera is far too cute to be angry with for more than ten seconds. "Come on," he huffs. "The rides aren't going anywhere. Let's get some food first."

"No, really, I'm-" Ritsu begins to protest. His stomach, though, grumbles loudly again to make its agreement known. "Ok, yeah. Food would be good," he says, giving in. 

When they make it to a food stand, Masamune makes a very important discovery: It turns out that whether it's at a sandwich shop, or a taco truck at the fair, Ritsu has still not learned how to order his own food without stuttering and nearly passing out.

Masamune only laughs at him for ten minutes.

* * *

Ritsu, at twenty-five years old, has never known true regret until the moment the safety belt clicks into place over his lap. What fresh hell has he just gotten himself into?  _'Oh my god, what have I done?'_ He'd gotten to go on the Giant Circular Swing Set of Death first, just like he'd wanted. It was even more fun than he'd been expecting, but overall it was a surprisingly tame ride.

Then, he'd spotted the roller coaster.

In Masamune's defense, he had tried to warn him that it probably wasn't a good idea to go on a ride like that, considering that Ritsu has absolutely no experience with amusement park rides.

So naturally, Ritsu had taken that as a challenge. "It's just a silly ride. How bad can it be?" He'd said, like a dumbass.

The answer is:  _really bad._

Ritsu had been fine and calm up until just a second ago, and it seems that his brain had only decided to realize what a  _terrible_ idea this was after it was already far too late.  _'Oh my God, I am such an_ idiot!' he curses himself. He hopes his heart doesn't actually beat out of his chest like it's threatening to right now.

He must look as terrified as he feels because Masamune eyes him with concern. "Are you okay?"

Ritsu nods shakily. "I'm fine," he insists.

Masamune lifts an eyebrow. "You are such a bad liar. If you're going to throw up, please do it that way," he says, pointing over the side of their roller coaster cart.

"I'm not going to throw up!" Ritsu claims vehemently.

"Uh-huh. Sure you aren't," Masamune pretends to agree. He feels kind of bad, but he can't do anything about it at this point. He would get Ritsu off of the ride if he could, but they're already strapped in. Well, there is one thing he can do. "Want to hold my hand?" he asks, offering his hand, palm facing up, to Ritsu.

Ritsu's face loses the slight tinge of green it had been sporting in favor of a less alarming soft shade of pink. "I am not a child! I don't need to hold your hand," he says adamantly.

Masamune dares to disagree. But he's not going to push Ritsu, so he just shrugs. "Okay then, suit yourself."

The ride jolts forward. They're moving.

' _Oh my god oh my god oh my god.'_ The tint of green settles back over Ritsu's cheeks. He asks himself again why the  _hell_ he thought this was a good idea. The roller coaster slowly creeps forward, creaking loudly all the way. Why is this thing being so noisy? Is it even structurally sound? Oh god, he's going to die. He wishes he had at least finished reading his book first. And it had just gotten to a really interesting part, too!

Masamune starts when a hand abruptly latches onto his in a death grip. He instinctively looks next to him to see his boyfriend turning paler by the second, tightening his hold on Masamune's hand desperately.

"Not one word," Ritsu orders hoarsely. His jaw is clenched and his shoulders are painfully tense. It looks like he's about to black out.

Legitimately worried about Ritsu's health, Masamune doesn't take the opportunity to tease him for once. "Hey, look at me," he says quietly.

Ritsu does. There's fear dimming the spark in his bright green eyes.

Masamune wants to get rid of it. Fear doesn't suit Ritsu at all. "Do you trust me?" He asks.

Ritsu takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he nods. "Yes." There's not a trace of doubt in his answer.

"Good." Masamune's heart does a backflip. One day it's going to give out on him for sure, and it will be one hundred percent Ritsu's fault. "It's fine, okay? Don't worry," he says reassuringly. "They wouldn't run this ride if they thought that there was anything wrong with it. And I wouldn't have let you within fifty feet of it if I wasn't sure you would be safe," he promises. Trying to offer any shred of comfort he can, he runs his thumb along Ritsu's white knuckles soothingly.

It works, a little bit. Ritsu gives him a tiny, wobbly smile of gratitude anyway. But it vanishes quickly when the roller coaster picks up speed and starts climbing up into the air.

Masamune winces, and accepts that his hand will probably be crushed by the time the ride finishes. Oh well, what can you do?

Ritsu closes his eyes tightly, and prays for a swift and painless death. But then, the strangest thing happens: all of a sudden, the ride stops moving completely. What the hell? He opens his eyes again. Was it over? Why weren't they moving-

The roller coaster plummets downward.

Ritsu's stomach gets left behind. A scream gets lodged in his throat and his heart hammers in his chest. The ride twists and turns and goes upside down and he knows he's going to have a bad case of whiplash when it finally stops. To this day, he doesn't exactly recall his first time on a roller coaster, and he's glad to keep it that way. What he does recall is that the entire world becomes a hopeless blur and that he has to squeeze his eyes shut again. He keeps his promise not to throw up, but just barely.

When the ride  _finally_ comes to a stop. He can't feel his hand, and he's pretty sure that he broke Masamune's. Oops.

It takes Masamune a good few minutes to coax his frozen boyfriend out of the roller coaster car. It takes even longer to get him over to a bench to sit down. Ritsu's legs are out of commission, and Masamune has to wrap an arm around his lower back to make sure he doesn't do a face plant. It's not as romantic as it sounds. "No more roller coasters," he decides, handing Ritsu a water bottle he'd bought from a drink stand.

Ritsu can only nod weakly in agreement.

Thus marks the day that Ritsu Onodera vows to never go on a roller coaster ever again.

* * *

It's a long time before Ritsu recovers enough to risk going on another ride. And while his experience with the roller coaster had been less than ideal, it turns out that he can easily handle other rides that are, in Masamune's opinion, much worse. Like the Tilt-a-Whirl.

God, Masamune hates that one. Why does it have to spin so much, and jerk around and make you want to puke?

But Ritsu had just looked so happy and eager to go on it… Masamune hadn't said a word of protest. But he is  _really_ regretting that right about now. Everything is spinning, his ears are ringing, and he can't seem to gain control over his balance, and  _god,_ he hates the Tilt-a-Whirl.

"Idiot," Ritsu scolds him. "Why didn't you say anything?" He asks, offering a bottle of water. It's ironic how similar this situation is to earlier, except now Ritsu is the one taking care of Masamune.

Masamune's certainly not complaining about this development. He accepts the water gratefully. "You looked… so excited," he says, breathing deeply through his nose. He twists the cap off of the bottle and takes a long drink. The world starts spinning a bit slower. "Didn't want to ruin it."

Ritsu's chest does a little cartwheel. He feels his face heat up, and he looks over at a food stand in the opposite direction so that Masamune doesn't see. "T-thank you. That's… really sweet," he says, taking a seat next to Masamune on the bench. It's the same one they'd found themselves on after what shall henceforth be known as The Roller Coaster Incident. "But next time say something!"

The corner of Masamune's mouth curves up lazily. "Nah. I like it better when you fuss over me," he declares with a wink.

Ritsu chokes on air. His cheeks suddenly feel several degrees warmer. Masamune Takano is not good for his health. "Jerk, don't just say things like that without warning!"

Masamune laughs for a few seconds. A fond, content smile softens his face and he just… stares at Ritsu with a look that is dangerous to Ritsu's heart.

Ritsu locks his gaze on the ground. It's less likely to be the cause of his death. "I feel bad," he says. He looks at his hands and notices that they're fidgeting in a recognizable nervous habit.

Masamune sighs. He is all too familiar with that gesture. He's been trying to break Ritsu of that habit for a long time. "Don't," says firmly, flicking Ritsu on the forehead. "It's not your fault; I made my own choice."

Ritsu covers his forehead protectively. "I know that," he says. "But still, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gone on that ride in the first place," he reasons.

Masamune sighs again, louder this time. "You're not wrong," he admits. "But it was worth it to get to experience something like that with you."

Ritsu's breath stutters. This guy has no shame! "You can't just-" he covers his face with his hands. If Masamune keeps saying things like that Ritsu is going to explode.

"Okay, okay I'll stop," Masamune relents. "For now." It's hardly his fault that Ritsu is so adorable when he's flustered. "And if you really feel that bad about it then, I don't know, make it up to me," he suggests. He still doesn't blame Ritsu in the least, but Masamune also knows that this is the only thing that will get him to stop fretting so much. Not that he particularly minds the fretting.

Ritsu uncovers his face. "How should I do that?" he asks.

"Beats me." Masamune shrugs.

"That was helpful," Ritsu says flatly. But his eyes are already wandering around, trying to find something that he can use.

' _Not food.'_ Masamune's stomach probably still hasn't fully settled yet.  _'Maybe something from one of the souvenir stands?'_  No, there isn't anything he can see that Masamune would actually like. But there is a cool looking booth of things that all light up that he makes a note to visit later for himself. Ack, focus!

Ritsu's eyes land on yet another winding line leading to a ride. It's almost exactly the same as any other line of people patiently waiting their turn for whatever ride had caught their fancy, but something about this one is different.

It's all couples. Which makes sense, considering the name printed boldly on a sign at the entrance of the ride.

_Tunnel of Love!_

Love...

' _Maybe, Masamune would want to go on that one?'_ An army of butterflies swoops around in Ritsu's stomach.  _'No. No way!'_ he mentally kicks himself. First, he would  _never_ be able to suggest that they go on that ride together. It's just not possible. Second, what if… what if he does ask, and Masamune says no? Ritsu would actually, literally die of embarrassment. It's not happening!

But, if it would make Masamune happy...

Try as he might, Ritsu isn't able to get the idea out of his head now that it's taken root. It would be, uh, interesting. From a scientific perspective, of course. And not to sound arrogant or anything, but he knows his boyfriend pretty well, and Masamune would, in all probability, be all over that kind of thing. Especially if Ritsu were to be the one to offer it first.

That settles it; his mind has been made up. Now, actually finding the confidence to, you know,  _ask_ Masamune is a whole other matter entirely.

"Um," Ritsu starts, voice slightly strained. This is almost worse than the roller coaster. His heart is going to break if it beats any faster than it is right now. "Then, to make it up to you," he clears his throat. "Maybe, when you're feeling better, we could go on that one?" He hesitantly points toward the Tunnel of Love. He hopes Masamune doesn't notice that his hands are trembling. "If… if you wanted to."

Masamune's eyes widen, and his lips part in shock. A small choked noise of surprise sounds from the back of his throat. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, but no words come out.

Ritsu immediately regrets every single decision he's made in his life. _“Oh my god, what did I just say?!’_ He takes back everything he said about this _almost_ being as bad as the roller coaster. At this moment, he would cheerfully face ten more roller coasters if it meant that he could disappear into the ground forever.

"Uh, I guess not," he forces an awkward laugh. It makes his own ears hurt from how fake it sounds. "Nevermind, that was really dumb. Please forget I ever said anything," he begs.

Masamune… continues to say nothing, and keeps staring at Ritsu like he's never seen him before.

Ritsu wants to die. "You still look sick. I'll go get another water for you," he exclaims, using the first excuse that pops into his head to escape from this nightmare. Jumping to his feet and turning on his heel, he prepares to flee. And hopefully find a nice place somewhere nearby to dig a hole and bury himself. His plan is foiled, though, when something snatches his hand and anchors him to his spot when he tries to take a step forward. He twists his neck to see that Masamune has just grabbed his hand.

"Wait for a second, would you?" Masamune yells, tightening his grip on Ritsu's hand. "You caught me off guard. I never thought you would suggest something like  _that,"_ he says incredulously. "Give me a second to reply, idiot."

Ritsu's desire to melt into the ground forever increases if that's possible. "Sorry," he says, feeling his shoulders slump ever so slightly.

"There you go again," Masamune groans. "Why do you always apologize for every little thing?"

"S-sorry."

Masamune is convinced that Ritsu is actually trying to kill him. He has to be aware of what his words and actions are doing to Masamune's heart, right? Ritsu being shy and adorable and  _asking_ to go through the Tunnel of love with him, blushing like Masamune hasn't seen since high school is making his head spin. But in a good way this time.

And the truth, which only makes it that much worse, is that he knows it's entirely unintentional. Ritsu makes Masamune feel lightheaded without even trying. Yet Ritsu has no idea. Masamune loves him with all of his heart, but that doesn't change the reality that Ritsu Onodera has the thickest head known to mankind. It should be irritating, and on anyone else, it would be. Even so, It only makes him all the more endearing to Masamune. Yeah, yeah, he's whipped he knows. "I feel better now," he says, using Ritsu's hand to pull himself to his feet.

Surprised, Ritsu stumbles a bit before quickly regaining his balance and helping Masamune stand. "Huh?" he says, blinking up at Masamune in confusion.

Has Masamune ever mentioned that he loves the fact that he's taller than Ritsu? Because  _wow,_ he really loves it. "I feel better," he says again, waiting for Ritsu to get the hint.

Ritsu, of course, does not.

Masamune resists the urge to slap his palm against his forehead. It will do him no good. Ritsu's obliviousness is incurable. "I am feeling better," he says again, and it's only partially a lie. His stomach is still churning rebelliously, and his vision is stubbornly refusing to stop swimming. But like hell is he going to let this chance slip through his fingers.

Ritsu shakes his head, eyebrows still furrowed in confusion.

One more time, and then Masamune is just going to say  _Screw it_ and toss Ritsu over his shoulder and head straight for the line. "I don't feel sick anymore, so I would like to go on that ride with you."

Ritsu blinks.

"Right now. Immediately."

Understanding  _finally_ dawns in Ritsu's eyes, and his face instantly turns a few shades darker.

Masamune gratefully realizes that perhaps his boyfriend isn't completely hopeless after all.

Ritsu begins babbling in something that's probably supposed to be Japanese, but is certainly no decipherable human language Masamune can recognize. Before his brain has a chance to rewire itself, Masamune puts a hand on his lower back and starts guiding them towards their destination. Until they're physically standing in the line, Ritsu may still try and back out of it, and there is  _no way_ he's letting that happen.

The line moves surprisingly fast. Hardly five minutes pass before they're being ushered forward by a bored looking attendant, and then the ride takes off.

Masamune waits patiently.

Barely five seconds after the ride rounds the (very pink) corner, Ritsu gasps when the collar of his shirt is tugged sideways and a finger tilts his chin upwards as a pair of lips descends upon his.

It's a good thing it's dark in the Tunnel of Love.

It's a pretty short ride, all things considered. It comes to a stop, and everybody exits.

Well, almost everybody. If two of the passengers happen to leave a little bit slower than everyone else, no one says anything.

And if Ritsu's hair happens to be even messier than usual, and his lips are bruised and a bit swollen, well, no one says anything about that either. His collar is pulled up noticeably higher than it was earlier, but it still doesn't fully conceal the love bites littering his neck.

"I think this is my new favorite ride," Masamune muses, hands in his pockets and lips curled into a satisfied and proud smirk.

"S-shut up!"

Yeah; definitely Masamune's new favorite ride.

* * *

It's not until the sun is just beginning to set, casting the entire fair into an entirely new and magical light, that Masamune and Ritsu notice that they've been there for nearly six hours. They decide to go on the Ferris wheel and make that their final ride before going home. Mostly because Masamune insists that: "The Ferris wheel is always the main attraction of a fair. And since you've somehow managed to survive twenty-five years without anyone ever taking you on one, we  _have_  to do it. Plus, it's romantic."

Ritsu flushes at that last bit but otherwise doesn't show any signs of protest. So they start making their way towards "the heart of the fair," as Masamune calls it, and that should have been it; end of story. So, of course, that's when Ritsu happens to glance too far to the right, and his eyes land on the claw machine. He halts in his tracks.

It's nothing special, and it's not really the machine itself that captures Ritsu's attention. Even he's seen one of those before. No, what draws Ritsu's gaze is the small, stuffed black cat sitting proudly on display at the top of the pile of plushies. It's adorable! But more than that,  _'It looks just like Sorata!'_ He's only had the chance to meet Masamune's ex-cat a handful of times, and each one had been a true delight. Animals don't usually like him, but Sorata had appeared to tolerate his presence, which Masamune had informed him was high praise from the normally aloof cat.

Masamune doesn't have full custody of Sorata anymore, but it's obvious to anyone who has eyes that he still loves his cat a great deal.

Ritsu has never tried to play one of those claw games himself, nor does he really know how to. But he decides right then and there that he  _will_ win that stuffed cat for Masamune if it kills him.

"Hey," Masamune taps him on the shoulder. "What's the hold-up."

Ritsu still can't tear his eyes away from the claw machine. He has to make sure no one else steps up to it. What if someone gets there, and wins the cat before he has the chance? He can't let that happen! "Sorry," he apologizes. "Go on ahead. I'll catch up with you," he promises, smiling sheepishly.

Masamune frowns. "Are you okay? Is your stomach bothering you again?" he asks worriedly.

And that's… really sweet, and while it does make Ritsu's chest feel warm and fluttery, he refuses to let it distract him from his mission. He shakes his head. "No, I'm fine," he says, trying to ease Masamune's concern. "But look." He points at the claw machine.

Puzzled, Masamune follows the trail. His eyes widen when they land on the cat plushie. "It looks just like Sorata," he says, lips curling into a soft smile.

Ritsu's heart skips a beat, as it always does when Masamune smiles like that. It doesn't happen nearly enough for his liking, but he's glad to note that it's not as rare an occurrence as it used to be. "I know, right? I want to get it." He looks away from Masamune. He can't say this while looking him in the eye. "F-for you."

Masamune inhales sharply. He is now even more convinced that Ritsu is actively trying to kill him. How can someone usually so shy and reserved and bad with words say something like  _that?_

Once again, Ritsu remains oblivious to the effect he has on his boyfriend. "What?" he says defensively, daring to glance up.

The defiant fire in his eyes, as always, takes Masamune's breath away. He laughs, and it sounds like there's a tint of defeat to it. "Nothing. You just have no idea what you do to me," he says just above a whisper.

Ritsu's heart  _thumps,_ and he feels his face warm at the pure adoration and tenderness in Masamune's voice. "What's that supposed to mean," he mutters under his breath, turning away and heading onwards toward the claw game. But even the distance between he and Masamune does nothing to help his pounding heart. Not that he'd expected it to.

Predictably, Masamune quickly follows after Ritsu, not letting any form of distance be maintained for more than a few seconds.

Ritsu stops directly in front of the machine, staring at it curiously. He  _has_ seen one before, he swears. He's not that much of a "sheltered prince", despite what everyone else seems to think. But he's never actually seen one this close. There are countless, cute stuffed animals all staring at him and vying for his attention, and while he sincerely wishes he could have them all, his first priority is the Sorata look-alike near the top.

Noticing his hesitation, Masamune bumps Ritsu lightly in the side with his elbow. "Think you can do it?" he asks nonchalantly, lips quirked slightly in fond amusement. He has full faith in his boyfriend. Ritsu can and will do whatever it takes to keep a promise, even if it means having to move heaven and the earth itself. It's probably one of the things Masamune loves the most about him.

Ritsu gasps in outrage. "Of course I can," he declares with a glare that has no real heat behind it He said he would do it, so he will! Masamune will be holding his new stuffed cat soon if it's the last thing he does!

' _I've got this,'_ Ritsu thinks, nodding to himself in determination. More confident than he's ever been, he slips fifty cents into the machines coin slot.

Twenty-five minutes and nearly twenty dollars later, Ritsu is forced to realize that he does not, in fact, got this. The stuffed black cat falls out of the claws grip once again, and he internally screams. Oh, wait, he did that out loud. He's really got to start noticing when his private thoughts slip out into the real world. But as of now, that is obviously a skill he has not yet acquired.

Masamune, at a loss for anything else to do, puts his hand on Ritsu's shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Hey, calm down. It's ok," he promises, voice low and soothing. "Everybody knows that these things are rigged. Let's get out of here and go on the Ferris wheel," he proposes, attempting to steer Ritsu away from the machine. But Ritsu is nothing if not determined and stubborn to a fault. Yet another thing Masamune loves about him, even in instances like this.

"Wait, I swear I'll get it on the next try," Ritsu vows profusely. He won't be moved from his spot before the claw machine.

Masamune lifts an eyebrow in doubt. Ritsu's said the same thing at least eight times now.

Ritsu's eyes narrow. He can sense that Masamune is skeptical. His anger and frustration boil over. "I said I would get it for you, so that's what I'm going to do. How about trusting me a little?" he demands fiercely.

And well, Masamune has always been helpless when that fire starts burning down the forest hiding within Ritsu's eyes. All he can do is nod dumbly. "I'll always trust you," he promises absently. He doesn't know what face he's making, but whichever one it is causes Ritsu's lips to twist into a vaguely wry grin.

"Then just wait."

True to form, Ritsu somehow manages to win the stuffed cat on his next try. After staring at the claw machine in shock for a few seconds, he scrambles to grab the stuffed animal before it somehow ends up back at the top of the pile. He presents it to Masamune proudly, and pointedly ignores that his cheeks are practically in flames.

Also true to form, Masamune wastes no time in dragging him out of sight of public view, leaning down, tilting Ritsu's head up, and bringing their lips together and, "expressing his thanks" until Ritsu can't breathe and his skin is buzzing with electricity. Then he does it again.

A few more small bite marks join the ones already decorating Ritsu's neck. They don't end up making it to the Ferris wheel for a while.

* * *

Thanks to their unexpected detour, the sun has now completely set by the time they finally get to the Ferris wheel. Ritsu takes a seat on one side of the carriage, and Masamune sits next to him because the other side is much too far away from Ritsu, and simply because he can.

As the two of them are raised higher and higher into the night air, the fair once again transforms into an entirely new world. The music grows a bit softer and the lights all twinkle and shine beautifully.

Ritsu isn't usually a big fan of bright, flashing lights, but he thinks he can make an exception this time. "Whoa, it's amazing!" he shouts happily. His eyes dart back and forward, trying to take everything in.

Masamune snorts at Ritsu's uncharacteristically childish behavior. It's not often that he gets the opportunity to see this side of his boyfriend. He's really glad they hadn't skipped the Ferris wheel.

Ritsu pouts at him. "Hey, leave me alone. I've never been up this high before while not in an airplane, and everything just looks really pretty, okay?" he defends himself.

"I didn't say anything." Masamune laughs in earnest now.

Ritsu sticks his tongue out at him.

God, Masamune loves this man so much it hurts. "I guess it's a good thing that you aren't scared of heights, then," he says casually.

Ritsu shakes his head. "Actually, I'm terrified of heights," he admits, glancing over the side of the carriage and laughing nervously.

The unexpected confession catches Masamune off guard, and his eyes widen as he turns his neck to fully look at Ritsu. "What? Why didn't you say something sooner? If I'd known that, we wouldn't have come on this ride." Dammit, how soon until this thing stops? He has to get Ritsu off of here-

Shaking his head again, Ritsu smiles at him reassuringly. "It's okay, really. I'm fine right now," he promises. "I think I'm so excited that it's canceling out my fear."

"I do not think that it works like that. At all."

Ritsu twists in his seat to glare at Masamune. "Well that's how I'm saying it works," he states firmly. "And I really wanted to do this with you, so just-"

Masamune and Ritsu both jolt in surprise at the words that just escaped the latter's lips.

"Uh," Ritsu stutters. "I just meant that… you, seemed to be looking forward to this ride a lot, so I wanted to see why you liked it so much." He cringes when he realizes that that doesn't sound any better. He subconsciously starts backing away from Masamune. Only one problem: Ferris wheel carriages are much smaller than Ritsu had realized. He backs up just a bit too far, just a bit too quickly.

Masamune knows what's about to happen a split second before it does. His heart stops beating in his chest.

A silent gasp gets frozen in Ritsu's throat and his eyes widen as his back hits the safety bar and he nearly topples over the edge.

Now, logically, a small part of Masamune knows that he'll be fine. Ritsu can't weigh more than one hundred and fifty pounds, and the bars are designed to be much sturdier than that. He  _knows_ this. But at the moment he doesn't give a shit because all his panicking mind can tell him is that  _Ritsu is going to fall._

Ritsu yelps when his arm is grabbed firmly and he's yanked quickly into Masamune's chest. One arm goes around his lower back and the other one snakes up his neck and he feels a large hand cradle the back of his head. A shuddering breath leaves him, and his hands automatically go up and fist the back of Masamune's shirt.

The action breaks the spell Masamune had been under. "Idiot," he scolds harshly. "Be more careful!" He tightens his arms around Ritsu. He can't believe that he almost let Ritsu slip through his fingers  _again._ Quite literally this time! His eyes drift to Ritsu's chest, and he thinks about the small, round scar located just over his heart. Whatever this new trend of life-threatening situations Ritsu keeps finding himself in lately is, Masamune does not like it.

Ritsu flinches a bit at the sudden shout, but he doesn't take it to heart. The raw terror in Masamune's voice tells him that the other man is only worried about him. And since his ear is currently being crushed against Masamune's chest, he can hear that his heart is racing just as fast as his own. "T-thanks." His fingers refuse to unclench from where they've bunched up Masamune's shirt so roughly he fears he might tear the fabric.

Masamune presses his forehead to the crook of Ritsu's neck and releases a shuddering breath of relief. Ritsu is fine. Ritsu is fine. Ritsu is was never in any real danger to begin with, and Ritsu is  _fine._ Masamune tells himself this over and over until he feels his heart rate start to lower back to a less dangerous speed.

Ritsu shivers at the warm puff of air that hits his skin. Hearing the thudding in Masamune's chest begin to quieten helps his own rapid pulse slow to a more acceptable pace. "I'm okay," he says, trying to reassure Masamune as well as himself.

"I know," Masamune says, nodding against Ritsu's neck.

Neither of them makes any move to let go of the other.

Masamune and Ritsu make it through the rest of the ride with no further incident, but Masamune refuses to remove his arm from around Ritsu's waist until the ride comes to a full stop. And even then, he only lets go long enough for them to get out of the carriage. Then his arm is right back wrapped around Ritsu's lower back.

Ritsu can't find it in him to complain. Despite everything, he still doesn't regret going on the Ferris wheel. Ultimately, after he and Masamune had calmed down enough to actually look around, he'd seen that the fair at night was a truly beautiful sight. And he'll never admit this, but having Masamune's arms around him the whole time had been… nice.  _Very_ nice. He wouldn't mind going on the Ferris wheel again one day.

Masamune looks at Ritsu strangely when he tells him this.

Ritsu expects opposition. He expects a, _"Hell no! I'm never letting you on one again."_ What he does not expect is for Masamune to say: "Fine. But next time you're sitting on my lap."

Ritsu chokes and sputters angrily. And even though they're just about to pass through the gate, his shriek of protest can be heard all across the fairgrounds.

* * *

_**Extra:** _

Later, once they've been home for a while and are about to go to sleep, Masamune announces that he's finally settled on a name for his new stuffed prize.

Curiosity piqued, Ritsu asks what it is.

"Oda," Masamune declares proudly.

Ritsu blinks. "Excuse me?" he asks politely. Because surely his ears are playing tricks on him.

Masamune repeats his answer.

Ritsu starts to wish that he hadn't tried so hard to win the damn thing for him in the first place. He tries everything he can think of to get Masamune to change his mind, but it's all in vain. Masamune won't budge.

"What's wrong with naming it Oda?" Masamune asks, tone dripping with fake innocence. "Do you, by any chance, happen to know somebody with that name?" he asks with a smirk.

"You know exactly why I hate that name!" Ritsu points out angrily.

Masamune laughs, rolls over in their bed, settles his weight on top of Ritsu, and pulls him into a fiery kiss.

Then, well, Ritsu can't think properly enough to argue anymore.

And so, despite all of Ritsu's many protests,  _Oda the Cat_ is officially born.

* * *

Oh, and before Ritsu forgets to mention, he and Masamune have already made plans to go to the fair together again next year, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After three weeks and nearly eight thousand words, it gives me great pleasure to say: The End. Ugh, I'm gonna cry.
> 
> Also: Had a blast at the fair. Nearly threw up on a roller coaster at the fair. Won't be doing that again. 
> 
> Now, that said; I think that next chapter is going to be a bit less fluffy than this one. My brain can only handle so much sweetness before it starts bombarding me with angsty prompts. Sorry in advance ;)


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sticks and Stones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> 8k. Words. 
> 
> Again!!!
> 
> Why does this keep happening??? I just wanted a 3k word drabble at most I'm gonna cry.
> 
> (P.S. Okay, time for a bit of angst. The Boys had it too good last chapter and I needed to fix that.) Enjoy! :)

Masamune Takano used to dread the simple act of waking up more than anything. For a variety of reasons. Allow him to explain:

When he was fifteen, he hated waking up because it always happened in the middle of the night. His parents' raised, angry voices and doors slamming hard enough to make the walls vibrate made sleep an impossible thing to obtain.

When he was twenty, he hated waking up because, most of the time, he had no idea where the hell he was when he forced his eyes to crack open in spite of his throbbing head and nauseous stomach and the lingering sour taste of alcohol on his tongue. Not his finest moment, to say the least. But at the time, he hadn't been able to muster the motivation to give a shit. About anything. If he's being honest, he's not sure if he would be alive today if Yokozawa hadn't been around. He really needs to thank him properly one day.

Then, when he was twenty-eight, he hated waking up because he was always alone. His only company was the heartlessly cold side of the bed opposite him. The only thing he had to look forward to was yet another torturously long day of work. He loves his job, but that doesn't mean that it isn't shitty sometimes. Oh, well.

But one day, something incredible and wonderful and  _terrifying_ happened: Ritsu,  _his_ Ritsu, had come back. Sure, he was different, now; jaded, and sarcastic, and painfully aloof. Nothing like the boy he had known in high school. But Masamune didn't care. Ritsu had come  _back._

Right?

Wrong. Ritsu may have managed to finally stumble his way back into Masamune's life, but truthfully, he had never been further out of Masamune's grasp.

So at twenty-eight years old, Masamune began to hate waking up alone for an entirely different reason. It meant that once again, Ritsu had rejected him; had run away and locked him out again. And it  _hurt._  But then, one day, something changed. Ritsu started pushing him away less, and Masamune tentatively allowed himself to hope that  _Maybe this can actually work._

And somehow, miraculously, it did.

Now, as Masamune groans as his accursed alarm clock draws him from his sleep, he looks at the other side of the bed and smiles.

Ritsu is still snoozing soundly. His hair is disheveled with sleep, and the ghost of Masamune's fingers tangling in it.

It had been more of an impulse thing, really. Masamune had found himself lying awake in the early hours of the morning, and after so long of not being able to, he'd had an epiphany: After all this time, Ritsu was  _right there._ And nothing could stop him from easily just rolling over and pressing his lips to Ritsu's. So he had.

Ritsu hadn't been pleased with being torn from his sleep, but he didn't complain too much when Masamune kissed him again.

Masamune had missed this; more than words can possibly describe. "Hey," he whispers, leaning down and lightly brushing a kiss against Ritsu's cheek. "Wake up. We have to go to work." His heart fills at the sleepy grumble of protest that comes from his boyfriend.

Two green eyes slowly open.

Masamune grins stupidly. "Good morning, sleepy head."

Ritsu groans. A relatively cheerful person he may be, but a morning person, he is most definitely not. "Good morning," he responds in an adorably croaky voice, taking his pillow and using it to cover his face.

“Come on,” Masamune snorts. “We have to get up.” He'll admit that he doesn't really want to either, but if they want to still have a roof over their heads by the end of the day they don't really have any other choice.

“No,” Ritsu moans sleepily, fumbling around and grabbing the end of their blanket and dragging it over the top of his head.

Masamune laughs and wraps his arms around his grumbling, and way too cute boyfriend. It's at moments like this, that it almost feels like they can finally bridge the ten wasted years between them. It's also at moments like this, where everything they went through finally feels worth it.

So, yeah; these days, it's safe to say that Masamune Takano no longer dreads waking up.

* * *

Masamune's good mood persists throughout the morning, even when Yokozawa barges into the Emerald department at half-past ten o'clock. He is not pleased. But then again, he never really is. He brusquely demands to know: "Why the hell are you just sitting on your ass, Takano, like you haven't got a care in the world; when the magazine is going to sell out before the end of the day if this keeps up?"

Masamune, not phased in the least, calmly responds that he's "sitting on his ass"- air quotes included- because he had  _told_ the Sale's Department that this was going to happen and they  _hadn't fucking listened to him._ "You brought this on yourself.  _Again._ If you had been able to get your head out of your ass and ordered the extra ten thousand copies I'd asked for, this wouldn't have happened.  _Again."_

Yokozawa's face turns an interesting shade of purple which only deepens when Masamune mentions that he really should get his blood pressure checked one of these days. It must be quite high.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have actual work to do," Masamune says breezily, returning his attention to Ms. Ichinose's latest manuscript.

Predictably, and much to Masamune's amusement, Yokozawa sputters angrily in protest for the next ten minutes, while the newbies and interns from other departments not yet used to their antics watch on in horror. Meanwhile the members of the Emerald Department, all too aware that this is basically a daily occurrence at this point, merely sigh in defeat and return to their work.

Masamune ignores Yokozawa's furious tirade completely, since he knows it will only serve to make the other man more irritated.

It works like a charm, and with one last nasty glare over his shoulder, Yokozawa finally gets fed up enough to storm out.

"Your face will get stuck like that," Masamune says boredly

Yokozawa flicks him off over his shoulder as he leaves. Ah, the joys of friendship.

It's fine. Yokozawa can be pissed all he wants. Masamune will just call him later and invite him over for drinks and all will be forgiven. He knows the drill by now. Now, to get back to work.

Or not.

Hatori suddenly calls his name, drawing Masamune's attention from the manuscript. "Excuse me, Mr. Takano." He's holding the office phone, covering the receiver with one of his hands. "Somebody's asking for you."

Masamune nods in thanks. "Who is it," he asks curiously.

Hatori shakes his head. "I'm not sure. She didn't give a name." There's a sprinkle of concern in his eyes as he says this.

Masamune frowns as he accepts the phone. That's certainly suspicious. His eyebrows furrow as he speaks. "Hello?" he asks, tone even and professional. "This is Takano. Can I help you?"

There's a beat of silence before the person on the other end speaks. "Hello, son. It's been a while. I almost didn't recognize your voice. We really need to start calling each other more often."

Masamune's chest tightens and his heart skips a beat at the unmistakable voice of the one person he'd least expected: Kotoko Saga. His "mother", or so she likes to call herself.

The last time they'd seen each other when she'd showed up unannounced at his and Ritsu's doorstep, they had hardly parted on the best of terms. She had already been on thin ice for just inviting herself into their home after about ten years of radio silence, but then she'd gone and insulted Ritsu  _in front of Masamune,_ and that had been the end of that. He and his mother haven't exchanged a word since then. So why the  _hell_ is she suddenly calling him at work? Irritation helps him find his voice. "How did you get this number," he asks coldly.

He doesn't notice Ritsu look up from his desk in surprise at the guarded tone his voice suddenly adopts.

A static-filled sigh greets his ears. Kotoko clicks her tongue disapprovingly. "Well, you hardly left me any other choice. I looked up this number because I knew you'd never answer me if I used your personal one," she says sensibly.

And she's exactly right; he wouldn't have! Figures she would be smart enough to realize this, but such a witch that she would do it anyway. "What do you want?" He cuts to the chase. He has no desire to get sucked into playing whatever game she wants to start.

"My my, you've gotten so rude," Kotoko reprimands him.

Masamune's fingers clench around the phone dangerously. "I'm at  _work,_ which you clearly know, and I don't have time for this. What do you  _want,"_ he repeats himself crisply.

"Just to talk. That's all," Kotoko promises. "It's important."

Masamune smells bullshit.

"I'll even let you choose the location. So, when and where would be a good time for us to meet?"

_How about never?_

"Sorry," Masamune says, making sure that she can hear that he isn't really sorry at all. "But I'm going to have to pass. I'm too busy with work. Don't call this number again," he says, disconnecting the call. He scowls at the phone for a moment before putting it back on its hook a bit more roughly than strictly necessary. He releases a slow breath, and some of his tension when it remains silent. He'd half expected it to start ringing again the second he put it down. Locking eyes with Hatori, he gives his second in command a warning: "If she calls back, hang up on her," he orders.

There's a touch of concern in Hatori's expression as he nods in agreement. Thankfully, though, he doesn't press for details. "Understood."

Masamune sighs wearily. What a pain! At least he can thank his lucky stars that only half of his team was subjected to that humiliating display. Ritsu and Hatori are the only ones with him in the office right now. Mino is on an impromptu field trip to collect one of his author's storyboards, and Kisa had conveniently run to the restroom before all of this started. His mother truly has such wonderful timing, he thinks bitterly.

"Are you alright, sir?" Hatori asks. It's a sign of how irritated Masamune must look that even Hatori seems worried about him.

"Fine," Masamune says firmly. He knows that neither of them believes him. Ritsu especially knows him better than that; a fact Masamune is reminded of as a pair of green, concern-filled eyes burn holes into his skin. An ache forms just behind his forehead. He needs a moment to recuperate. Carefully, he avoids Ritsu's gaze. He doesn't want Ritsu to see him like this. "I need more caffeine," he announces, standing up from his desk fluidly. It's not even a lie. No amount of coffee could have made him any better equipped to handle  _that_ conversation. "I'll be right back," he promises, letting his feet lead him out of the Emerald Department towards the break room, and more importantly the vending machine that serves coffee.

Masamune doesn't allow his gaze to wander, so he misses the uneasy look Ritsu and Hatori exchange as he goes.

* * *

Ritsu Onodera is worried; plain and simple. He doesn't think he's ever seen that kind of pain and hurt in Masamune's eyes before, but he never wants to see it again. This is all because of that weird phone call. He doesn't know what the hell it was about, but that's what he intends to find out.

"Go after him," Hatori had instructed Ritsu about five minutes after their boss had walked out of earshot. Luckily, their cycle has just ended, and since none of them are being very productive today anyway, he doesn't feel guilty about letting the smaller, anxious-looking man go find Masamune like he so obviously wants to.

Ritsu, whose leg had already started bouncing nervously while he stared at the door waiting for Masamune to walk back through it, hadn't needed to be told twice. Quickly getting to his feet, he sends his thanks and a smile of gratitude over his shoulder as he follows after Masamune. It doesn't take long to catch up to him.

Masamune is still in the breakroom, leaning against the wall next to the vending machine. He's glaring darkly at the can of black coffee in his hands.

Ritsu wonders who exactly that particular can of coffee wronged in a past life to be glared at in such a way. "Hey," he says, carefully revealing his presence.

Masamune looks up in surprise. To Ritsu's relief, the glower on his face softens a bit. "Hey," he says, forcing a small smile that doesn't meet his eyes and fades quickly.

Ritsu doesn't like that smile. "Are you okay," he asks, not bothering to fight the concern that bleeds into his voice.

Masamune nods. "Yup, fine," he says; obviously lying.

Ritsu frowns. His hands itch to take Masamune's and provide  _some_ sort of comfort or support. "Who was that who called you on the phone?" He takes a step closer to Masamune, and his hands start to reach out, just a bit as he asks his question.

The deep scowl instantly returns to Masamune's face.

Ritsu's hands freeze at his side.  _'Uh oh.'_ Whoever it was, clearly Masamune is less than fond of them.

"It was my mother," Masamune spits out. The sour bitterness in his voice is matched only by the loathing in his hazel eyes.

Ritsu's eyes widen and his stomach twists unpleasantly. "Oh." Well, that explains some things.

Masamune's lips twist wryly. "Yeah, that about sums it up," he says, taking a harsh gulp of his coffee.

Ritsu takes another step closer. His heart aches for Masamune, but he's no stranger himself to family issues. Maybe he can help. "What did she want? Did she say?"

Masamune shakes his head. "Not much. She did say something about wanting to meet up." His nose wrinkles at the memory of his mother's ridiculous suggestion. "I said no, of course."

Oh. That's unexpected. Ritsu waits, but Masamune doesn't elaborate. "Okay," he says. There's a lot to process here. "Was there anything else? Did she-"

"Onodera," Masamune cuts him off.

And that stings, a little. True, they're at work right now, but they're alone, and Masamune usually never ignores an opportunity to use Ritsu's first name at the office.

"I really don't want to talk about this right now, okay?"

"Oh, okay." Ritsu nods immediately. "Sorry."

Masamune doesn't scold him for apologizing like he usually would.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ritsu presses.

He doesn't notice Masamune's jaw tighten slightly.

"It's just… I know that you and your mom don't get along very well." Ritsu continues on, oblivious to the storm that's about to erupt. "So if you change your mind and want to talk about it, I'm here." He smiles dryly. "You already know that me and my parents aren't on the best terms, either, so I understand-"

At that last part, Masamune's head finally snaps up and he locks eyes with Ritsu's. "That's enough," he says firmly.

Ritsu's voice dies in his throat. It doesn't help that Masamune's eyes, normally warm and reminiscent of melting honey, are currently filled with ice instead.

"You really don't know when to quit. I already said I was done talking about this."

Ritsu's eyes widen, and he winces. "S-sorry, I just wanted to-"

"Don't compare your situation to mine," Masamune says cooly. "Your parents may have basically disowned you, but at least you've heard from them more than once within the last decade. This is hardly the same thing as losing your status as the  _pampered prince."_

And boy oh boy, isn't that just a bullet to the chest? Ritsu would know.

"Just leave me alone for a damn minute, okay?"

Ritsu cringes. A lump forms in his throat and the space behind his eyes start to ache. Suddenly, he's fifteen again, back in that dingy library at their old high school, and Masamune is yelling awful things at him, and saying that he "just wants to be alone right now." It hurts just as much now than it had back then. No, this actually hurts infinitely more. He blinks furiously, forcing himself back to the present. He's not crying, thankfully, but his eyes are noticeably wet.

Masamune blinks in shock as well. His eyes widen with horror as the realization of his own cruel words hit him. "Ritsu," he whispers, utter devastation in his tone. He takes a step forward.

Ritsu flinches and takes a step back.

Masamune freezes, and his chest constricts. "Ritsu, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that," he promises.

Ritsu shakes his head furiously. "Don't," he says warningly. Quickly, he wipes the wetness away from his eyes with the back of his hands. "Just don't."

Masamune's heart cracks.

Ritsu takes a deep, shaky breath, trying to force himself not to cry. It works, but barely.

Masamune desperately wants to grovel at Ritsu's feet for forgiveness, but he knows perfectly well that he has no right to do that right now. How could he have  _said_ that?

"I-" Ritsu's throat hurts, so he closes his mouth, swallows harshly, takes one more deep breath, and tries again. "I'm done with my work for today, so I'm going to leave now." His voice is still dangerously thick.

Masamune has never hated himself more than in this moment.

"I'll leave you alone," Ritsu says hollowly.

Masamune winces at his own words, and the complete lack of… anything in Ritsu's voice. "Where are you going," he asks, trying to get Ritsu to look at him. Ritsu refuses. "Home?"

"No," Ritsu says sharply, shaking his head. Taking another step away from Masamune, he turns around. Masamune notices that his shoulders are slightly hunched. "I don't know where I'm going; as long as it's anywhere but here."

Masamune deserves every single bit of the sting those words cause.

Before he can say anything else, Ritsu leaves.

His entire body  _aches_ and his mind screams at him to go after Ritsu, but he can't. He doesn't deserve to.

Why the  _fuck_ had he said that?

Memories of earlier that very morning play themselves through Masamune's head, and the pure  _happiness_ he'd felt when he'd woken up with Ritsu at his side now hurts like a physical wound. Then he thinks back to just a few moments ago; to the terrible, broken expression he'd only ever seen once on Ritsu's face.

But everything is different, now. Ritsu isn't that same shy, stuttering, lovestruck fifteen-year-old he had been the first time Masamune had broken his heart by lashing out with harsh words he didn't mean. There's no way he'll come back and forgive Masamune as easily as he had back then.

Another powerful wave of self-hatred washes over Masamune, and he fights the impulse to punch the wall.

He  _really_ fucked up this time.

* * *

The rest of the day passes by in a blur.

When Hatori and Kisa announce that they're leaving for the day, Masamune nods in acknowledgment, but otherwise doesn't say anything. Truthfully, he hasn't said much of anything at all since he'd finally mustered the energy to return to the Emerald Department.

It had not helped when Kisa had asked: "Hey, where did Rittie go?" When he'd seen that his coworker was nowhere to be found. An innocent enough question, but it had the same effect as a knife to the chest. Masamune, somehow, was able to fight his urge to kick a hole into the wall. Hatori stopped any further questions with a warning glare and ushered Kisa out of the office.

Then, Masamune is alone. His brain oh-so-helpfully reminds him that if he hadn't screwed things up, Ritsu would have made a thin excuse to stay later in the office, like he usually did, so that they could go home together. It makes the silence and solitude burn all the more.

The train ride home is a quiet and lonely one. As is the elevator ride up the fifteen stories to their apartment. Masamune wonders if Ritsu is home yet. Probably not, but he knows that he only has himself to blame for that one. The knife twists in his chest.

And little does he know, his absolutely  _lovely_ day is about to get even better! Not.

A lone figure is standing outside the door to his apartment. For a brief, wild moment, Masamune imagines that it's Ritsu. But he knows that's only wishful thinking. Ritsu has a key; he wouldn't just be standing around outside. Resigning himself, Masamune walks down the narrow hallway towards his house; foreboding filling him all the while.

The true identity of the person in front of his door is quickly revealed. That stiff posture, the perfectly styled hair, and the immaculate business suit can belong to no one else. It seems that his mother dropped by unannounced. Again.

 _No._ Masamune turns around on his heel and heads right back for the elevators. No, he is  _not_ dealing with this right now. His mother has already done quite enough damage for one day. A nasty voice inside his head that sounds suspiciously like Yokozawa gloatingly points out he'd had no trouble causing most of the damage all on his own. He makes it five steps before a sharp voice calls out his name.

"Masamune!" Kotoko Saga does not sound impressed; not that she ever does. "Just where do you think you're going?"

The temptation to keep walking is very strong, but Masamune groans in frustration, stops, and reluctantly faces her. If he knows his mother- which he unfortunately does- it's a safe bet that if he tries to leave, she'll just follow him anyway. "I don't care. As long as it's anywhere but here." The ghost of Ritsu's words from earlier spill from his lips. They still sting like acid.

Kotoko huffs in annoyance and rolls her eyes as if Masamune was the one being a nuisance here. "Don't you think that's a little overdramatic," she asks, raising a well-groomed eyebrow.

Oh, Masamune is thinking  _a lot_ of things right now; all of them equally unrepeatable.

"You're still so difficult," Kotoko sighs at his silence, placing her manicured hand delicately on her hip. "You know that if you hadn't hung up on me so abruptly earlier, I wouldn't have had to come all the way down here," she points out.

 _Then please feel free to turn right back around and go back where you came from._ Masamune grits his teeth to keep his thoughts to himself. It's not worth it to antagonize her, no matter how badly he wants to. It'll just make her stay longer, and he needs her to leave so that he can call Ritsu. The sun had almost completely set when he came in, and some worryingly dark clouds had begun to form. Ritsu is still god-knows-where wandering around, and Masamune needs to find him.

Like she can read his thoughts, Kotoko's gaze narrows in on the glaringly empty space beside Masamune. A knowing gleam enters her eyes. "I see the rude boy isn't with you today," she observes. "Good. That only makes this easier for both of us."

Masamune clenches his fist.

Kotoko's lips purse slightly; pleased with herself. She knows she's hit one of his sore spots. "I'll get down to business: I need you to join me this weekend for dinner with one of my clients," she says. As to be expected with her, it's more of an order than an invitation.

Masamune blinks in shock.  _That_ definitely had not been what he was expecting. "Excuse me," he asks. His hearing has to be messing with him.

But no, that's not the case. "I mentioned to him the other day that I have a son around the same age as his daughter," Kotoko explains, proving that Masamune hasn't somehow developed a terrible hearing problem since he woke up this morning. "They're both interested to meet you, especially her," she says, voice full of meaning. "She's a lovely girl, and very excited to meet you. I think she's already smitten." 

Masamune is too stunned to respond.

"This client is very important to my case, and I need to make a good impression on them. It would be much appreciated if you would help me do that. What do you say?"

Masamune doesn't say anything. He's trying, but he can't wrap his head around this whole thing. This is meant to be… what? Some kind of matchmaking meeting? Are you  _fucking kidding him?_  She called him out of the blue, at work, for this?

He got irritated over that stupid phone call, lost his temper with the love of his life and yelled hurtful things he didn't mean, and  _made Ritsu cry_  for _this?_ Masamune hadn't thought it was possible for him to be any more furious at himself than he'd been earlier, but the rage boiling his blood dares to disagree.

" _Hell. No."_

Kotoko frowns at her son's language. "And why not," she demands to know.

"You already know exactly why," Masamune tells her point blank. "All you've done today is waste your time and mine. You  _know_ I'm already in a relationship," he says firmly.

Kotoko's mouth twists downwards into a frown. "So you say, but I don't see him anywhere. And after you two seemed so inseparable last time I saw you," she says, a hint of smugness entering her tone.

Masamune grimaces. She's poking at a bleeding wound. God, he still can't  _believe_ how badly he screwed up.

Almost as if speaking about him was enough to summon him into existence, the elevator dings, the doors slide open, and Ritsu steps out.

The air gets stuck painfully in Masamune's lungs, and he subconsciously takes a step towards his boyfriend before he forces himself to stop. Taking in Ritsu's appearance, another stab of pain hits his stomach.

Ritsu must have gotten caught in the rain, as he is totally soaked. His hair still somehow looks hopelessly messy, even though water is still dripping from it and his clothes are plastered to his body. It's hard to tell from so far away, but it also looks like his emerald green eyes are red.

He's shivering, Masamune notes worriedly. His fingers itch to run through Ritsu's hair and smooth it down, and there's a burning desire under his skin to rush Ritsu into their apartment and get him into some dry, warm clothes. But he doesn't have the right to do that at the moment. Masamune curses himself once again. Somebody who managed to make Ritsu look so miserable doesn't deserve to touch him.

Ritsu finally lifts his gaze from the ground and it meets Masamune's. His eyes widen before quickly darting away, and his feet seem to take root in the ground.

Ritsu stares at the floor, and Masamune stares at him. An apology flies to his lips, and Ritsu looks like he has something he wants to say as well. But neither of them get the chance, thanks to their decidedly unwanted company.

"Oh," Kotoko says softly, as she glances back and forth between the two of them knowingly; taking in their awkward posture and Ritsu's refusal to look at Masamune for more than half a second. "I see. Trouble in paradise?" There's a layer of delight she doesn't bother trying to hide in her voice.

"That's none of your business," Masamune snaps with a scowl.

Seeming to surprise even himself, Ritsu also disagrees with Masamune's mother. His shoulders tense, and his head jerks up. "N-no, we just…" He trails off when Kotoko's eyes narrow at him.

Outrage makes Masamune's blood warm. His mother can be a pain all she wants, but she will leave Ritsu  _out_ of it. "Hey, leave him alone!"

The sly smile on Kotoko's face only grows.

Masamune grits his teeth. He's had enough of this. "Thanks for your considerate offer," he says, pouring as much sarcasm as he can into his voice. "But it's not happening. Enjoy your dinner with your client," he says bitingly.

Kotoko's smile vanishes. Her eyebrows furrow and her jaw pinches as if Masamune had just offended their great ancestors. "Are you serious, Masamune?" She frowns. "I already told them that you would come."

Masamune snorts, disgust curdling in his stomach. "That's your problem. I never agreed to anything. You clean up your own mess," he says.

Kotoko makes an agitated noise. "What do you expect me to do? This will humiliate me." She begins wringing her hands nervously, finally showing signs of being capable of experiencing human emotion.

It shouldn't please Masamune as much as it does. But his vindictive enjoyment of his mother's discomfort disappears instantly when she pins Ritsu with a hateful glare.

"This is your fault," Kotoko declares hotly.

Ritsu finally tears his gaze from the floor and looks up in shock. "Huh?" His face pales, and he shivers again; though whether it's from apprehension, or just being cold is difficult to determine. He really needs to get into some dry clothes. He'll catch a cold.

Protective fury makes Masamune's jaw clench tightly and his ears ring.

Kotoko gestures to Masamune. "He was  _never_ this disrespectful before you came into his life. Meeting you…  _changed_ him," she claims vehemently. "And not in a good way. You're nothing but a bad influence on him," she decides.

Ritsu jerks at Kotoko's accusation and his face flushes with mortification. The distress in his expression, and the surprise and pain in his green eyes are hauntingly similar to the horrible look that Masamune himself had put on his face earlier. Seeing Ritsu look like that,  _again,_ is the final straw.

Masamune has had more than enough of Ritsu being hurt for one day, dammit. Without thinking, he steps in between Ritsu and his mother, shielding him from her poisonous words. "Leave him  _out_ of this," he says quietly. His voice comes out as more of a growl than he'd intended.

Kotoko gapes at him in disbelief.

Masamune hears a soft, startled sounding noise come from behind him. And as much as he wants to forget everything and turn around and drop to his knees and beg Ritsu to forgive him for all the vile things he'd said earlier, and causing him so much pain, all of his attention is focused on his mother. The heartfelt, and much-deserved apology, has to wait until she's gone. "There are so many things wrong with everything you've just said that I don't even know where to start."

It's meant to injure Kotoko's pride. If there's one thing Masamune knows about his mother, the prestigious lawyer, it's that there is nothing else in the world she hates more than being told that she's wrong about anything.

"He did  _change_ me," Masamune admits, but only because it's the truth. It's obvious, especially to him, that Ritsu flipped his life upside down; back in high school, and then again ten years later. It's also obvious that Ritsu Onodera is single-handedly the best thing that ever happened to him.

Kotoko smiles triumphantly when Masamune agrees with her. But that smile quickly fades as he keeps talking.

"And I'm so glad that he did." The mere thought of Ritsu, even though he's right there, never fails to put a soft smile on Masamune's face. "It made me better.  _He_ made me better."

Kotoko's eyes widen incredulously. Once again, the cold, emotionless facade she constantly adorns has failed her. As expected, she tries to argue.

Masamune doesn't give her an opening to do so. "I don't know what kind of person you deluded yourself into thinking I was when I still lived with you, but I was  _miserable."_

Matching wounded gasps sound from both the man behind him and the woman standing in front of him.

But Masamune's not done yet. He hadn't realized it until just now, but he's been waiting a very long time to get this off of his chest. "You and dad  _always_ fighting made sure of that."

What looks like guilt settles into Kotoko's cool hazelnut eyes and she winces, displaying yet another human characteristic. It's at least the third one she's shown in a single day; a new record for her. "I hated waking up, hated going to school, I hated everything," he recalls. The memories taste bitter on his tongue.

"Masamune…." Kotoko breathes, seemingly at a loss for anything else to say. "I didn't know."

Masamune almost laughs. He doesn't mean to, but he can't help it; that's fucking hysterical. "Of course you didn't," he agrees with a scoff. "How could you have? Every time you were actually home for more than five minutes in one sitting, you and dad were always too busy screaming at each other to notice anything else," he points out bluntly.

Dead silence descends upon the group at Masamune's confession. He takes that as his cue. He's at his limit for dealing with his mother, and a sudden, loud sneeze that comes from behind him reminds Masamune that Ritsu really needs some dry clothes. That would be all he needs: to get sick because he was trying to avoid Masamune; even if it was perfectly justified. Slowly, so as not to startle him, Masamune turns around to look at his boyfriend.

Remarkably, Ritsu is looking right back at him. There's something strained and sad in his green eyes, but it's not for himself anymore. Now it's for Masamune.

Masamune's stomach clenches and he internally winces. A million tiny knives embed themselves in his heart because  _dammit, how many times is he going to cause Ritsu pain, today?_

Ritsu opens his mouth, clearly intending to say something, but then his gaze wanders in Kotoko's direction, and he seals his lips tight.

Well, that settles that. Gently, Masamune extends his hand towards Ritsu.

It's the moment of truth. If Ritsu rejects him, he knows his heart will shatter completely. He also knows that he will have earned every single bit of it. He almost hopes that Ritsu won't forgive him. Masamune knows he hurt him really badly this time, and if Ritsu decides that he's finally had enough, well then, that's just how it goes. But the fact is that Masamune is a selfish,  _selfish_ man, and he's not ready or willing to let Ritsu go ever again.

But ultimately, that's up to Ritsu.

Holding his breath, Masamune waits. His heart quivers in anticipation, ready to break at a moments notice.

One second.

Two.

Three.

Four.

On the fifth, heart-stopping second, Ritsu reaches out and takes his hand.

Masamune lets out the breath he'd been holding in and almost wants to cry. It's not the first time he's wondered what the hell he'd done in a past life to earn the honestly undeserved forgiveness of Ritsu Onodera, but he's not going to complain. He turns his attention back to his mother, raising his chin defiantly. "Despite what you seem to think, meeting him, loving him, made me a better person," he says, tightening his grip on Ritsu's hand.

Ritsu's eyes widen and begin to shine just a bit more than usual.

Masamune hopes he isn't about to cry. His heart is already in a fragile enough state as it is to handle Ritsu crying because of him again.

"You..." Kotoko's ever stony composure begins to crack. "Why didn't you ever say anything," she asks. She can't seem to be able to make herself tear her eyes away from their linked hands.

Masamune sighs. "I tried to. Nobody ever listened." The hand in his own twitches when he says that. Masamune squeezes slightly. It's really something incredible, that even after everything, Ritsu is still worrying about him. "But he did. He listened."

Kotoko drags her gaze to Ritsu's face, so slowly and reluctantly it's ridiculous. Her eyes narrow, but more in contemplation this time, rather than anger. It's a start, at least.

"Of course, I was so messed up at the time that I didn't know how to handle somebody genuinely giving a crap about me, so I hurt him pretty badly." Masamune will never be able to forgive himself for that outburst at the library that still makes him burn with shame to this day. It doesn't help that he did the same damn thing all over again just today. Apparently, he's not very good at learning from his mistakes. "He didn't deserve that. And he still doesn't." The heavy apology in his voice is obvious, even to his own ears.

Ritsu's breath stutters, and red dusts over his cheeks. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can he covers his face with his elbow and a violent sneeze escapes him and he shivers again.

Shit, that's concerning. Masamune decides that this whole fiasco has gone on for far too long. He will  _not_ have Ritsu get sick on top of everything else he's been through today.

Lightly tugging on Ritsu's hand, Masamune guides them past his mother and stops just in front of their door. He looks over his shoulder at Kotoko. "You found your way in here, so I assume you can find your way out," he reasons, only somewhat trying to hide the cynicism in his tone.

Kotoko nods stiffly. "Yes, but-"

Masamune nearly groans in frustration.  _What now?_  He frowns when he sees his mother's gaze shift from him to Ritsu. His grip tightens on Ritsu's hand. If she says  _anything_ else about him…

But Kotoko doesn't. In an unexpected move, she jerkily nods her head at Ritsu in acknowledgment. "I still don't care for you very much," she admits.

Masamune inhales sharply. She can't be  _serious._

"But," Kotoko continues, and the angry buzzing in Masamune's ears dissipates. "Thank you. For… taking care of him," she says stiffly. It's clear that there's more she wants to say, but her pride won't allow her.

Ritsu's jaw drops slightly, and he appears too caught off guard to form a response. Luckily, he's saved by the bell.

Kotoko's phone dings with a standard message alert, and she pulls it out of her pocket and squints at the screen.

Masamune already knows what she's going to say next before she even looks up.

"I have to go. There's been trouble at work."

Bullseye.

Masamune is honestly surprised that the cell phone had stayed quiet as long as it did.

Kotoko stares at him for a second, and there's something conflicted and torn hiding behind her eyes. She wants something that she thinks she can't have.

Masamune is well acquainted with that expression. He saw it reflected in his own eyes every time he looked in the mirror that he lost count. The only difference between them is that Masamune finally got what he wanted, even if he almost effectively ruined that today.

"I'll leave now. But I would like to seriously sit down and just talk one day," Kotoko offers. Her words hold no sign of any unsureness, but the way she purses her lips just a bit too tightly betrays her. She's nervous.

Masamune has never seen his mother display such a wide range of emotions in one day in his entire life. For once, the thought of having to see her again doesn't fill him with dread. "We'll see," he says, not accepting her proposal, but not rejecting it either.

Kotoko's lips twitch upwards for a brief moment; her version of a smile, Masamune supposes. Nodding at the pair once, less stiff than last time, she turns towards the elevators and begins her walk down the hallway and out the door for however long she stays gone this time. Her phone is already halfway to her ear before she's made it five steps.

Masamune rolls his eyes, not surprised in the least. He feels a twinge of sympathy for whoever it is she's cutting to pieces on the other end of her phone call. The poor fool never stood a chance.

A tap on his hand reminds him of Ritsu's, no doubt freezing presence. "Is it really okay to just let her go like that?" Ritsu bites his lip; concerned.

Masamune smiles in disbelief. Ritsu Onodera is not human, he decides then and there. No mere mortal could possibly be so… compassionate? No, that's not right. That word doesn't even come close to describing the endless kindness that Ritsu is somehow capable of, but there probably isn't a word in the entire world that could. "It's fine," Masamune promises, fishing his keys out of his pocket, unlocking the door, and pushing it open.

Ritsu stumbles slightly as he's pulled through the doorway. He shivers, and not entirely from the cold this time, as Masamune's arm brushes against him and he pulls the door shut.

"And we have more important things to worry about."

There's  _something_ lying underneath Masamune's voice that makes Ritsu hot enough to forget that right now he is essentially a human ice cube.

"I need to get you out of these clothes," Masamune murmurs quietly.

There are too many many layers wrapped up in that one simple sentence, and it makes Ritsu's head spin. He shudders; definitely not because of the cold. "Stupid, don't say such inappropriate things so casually!" It doesn't matter that this is absolutely not the first time Masamune has dropped that line, and Ritsu has a hunch that it won't be the last.

Masamune snickers at Ritsu's scandalized yelp. Honestly, what the  _hell_ had he been thinking, saying all that bullshit earlier that still makes him want to wash his mouth out with soap, to the most amazing person on this shithole of a planet? What would he have done if he had pushed Ritsu too far and lost him  _again?_

He doesn't know, and he doesn't particularly care to find out.

Ritsu's lungs nearly burst as a pair of strong arms wrap around his lower back. He's tugged until his body is resting flush against Masamune's, and now, instead of unbearably cold he's practically on fire. He tries not to think about how their bodies fit together perfectly, like two pieces of the same puzzle.  _Tries,_ being the keyword here.

Masamune hisses at the contact. "You're  _freezing,"_ he says, tone laced with worry. Instinctively, he begins running his hands up and down Ritsu's arms in an attempt to warm him up.

Ritsu cringes as the cold air assaults his back where Masamune had removed his arms from. "Sorry,' he says, cheeks thawing out and turning a light shade of red.

Masamune's hands pause, staying where they are on Ritsu's shoulders. He sighs heavily. "I think that's supposed to be my line," he says in an undertone. His head bows slightly.

"What?" Ritsu doesn't understand at first. Why does Masamune look like that? And is that shame Ritsu can hear in his voice?

"I'm  _so_ sorry, Ritsu," Masamune says, more firmly now. He lifts his head and looks Ritsu straight in the eye. There's something desperate and sincere hiding behind the all too familiar pools of hazel.

Ritsu forgets how breathing works.

"All the things I said earlier were not true, and I didn't mean them." Masamune squeezes Ritsu's shoulders. "I am so, so sorry I hurt you like that." His jaw tightens, and an agony so intense it knocks the wind out of Ritsu enters his eyes. "I shouldn't have lashed out at you just because I was upset. But that's  _no excuse,"_ he says fiercely. "I will  _never_ be able to say how sorry I am. And I know this was nowhere near enough to make up for what I did, but for now it's all I've got." He puts his arms back around Ritsu's waist and pulls him closer again, resting his forehead in the crook of Ritsu's neck.

And wow, he really is sorry, Ritsu can tell. But while he greatly appreciates the apology, none of this is necessary; Masamune has already been forgiven.

After Ritsu left work early and had some time to himself to cool down, he'd realized the reality of the situation. Masamune's mother had dropped in out of the blue  _again_ and sent him back into that dark corner of his mind reserved solely for the unpleasant memories of his parents. Not a fun place to be, he knows from experience. Plus, this isn't the first time Masamune's done something like this. But now Ritsu knows something he didn't in high school: Masamune only lashes out like that when he's in so much pain himself that his heart is already screaming in torment. But he's already tried harsh, untrue words that he regretted later on to push him away once. He won't get rid of Ritsu so easily again by using the same old tricks.

But it would take Ritsu at least three whole days to find the words to explain all of that out loud, so instead, he raises his arms and wraps them around the back of Masamune's neck. Ritsu also copies him and buries his forehead into Masamune's shoulder.

It's an awkward embrace, for sure. Ritsu still being soaked and slowly turning into a popsicle doesn't help matters much. And yet, somehow it feels perfect.

"You forgive way too easily, you know that?" Masamune mumbles against Ritsu's neck.

The warm puff of air that hits Ritsu's skin travels straight down his spine like lightning, and his legs wobble. Seriously, how is breathing supposed to happen again? He can't remember.

And if Masamune had wanted a response to his comment, he has a strange way of showing it. He slowly drags his lips across that patch of skin on Ritsu's neck that always makes his knees buckle and pulls an embarrassing whimper from somewhere near the back of his throat. Then, he brushes Ritsu's wet bangs out of his face and brings their lips together in a bruising kiss and all of a sudden Ritsu forgets entirely about the cold and all he knows is  _heat._

Brain getting foggier by the second, Ritsu is just aware enough to feel one hand squeezing his hip and another one caressing the side of his face. The hand at his face doesn't stay still long, though. It travels, slowly and teasingly, up into Ritsu's hair and tugs. He gasps, and then his back is being pressed against the wall and Masamune is angling his head downwards so that they can kiss better and yeah, Ritsu still can't remember how to breathe.

Masamune slowly and thoroughly "apologizes" three more times before Ritsu starts to shiver again, mostly from the cold now. So then he turns the hot water on, and "apologizes" in the shower.

In the morning, (thankfully it's Sunday, so they have the day off), Masamune wearily blinks his eyes open, and slowly cranes his neck, taking in his surroundings. A flame ignites in his chest when he sees Ritsu laying next to him again, complete with hopelessly tousled chestnut hair strewn about the pillow, and tiny, soft snores he lets our every so often that  _really_ shouldn't be endearing as they are. Masamune already has his suspensions, but every day he becomes more and more convinced that Ritsu is a literal angel.

Even when said  _angel_  startles himself awake with a violent sneeze, a coughing fit, and a pout in Masamune's general direction. Looks like even celestial beings can catch colds. Oops.

Masamune will dote over him later, but first he "apologizes" one more time. You know, just in case. Ritsu protests at first, but he gives in soon enough. It can be assumed that that one hypersensitive spot on Ritsu's neck is to blame, but who can truthfully say?

Masamune still doesn't know how Ritsu forgave him so easily. He really shouldn't have, Masamune was  _such_ an asshole. But for whatever reason, he's so, incredibly grateful that his reason to no longer hate the very idea of waking up is still at his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so done with my self. Why do I enjoy suffering like this? This was NOT supposed to get so long. I'm dead. Goodbye all!
> 
> (P.S.- Happy Early Halloween, everyone!!! Anybody have any fun plans or cool costumes this year? I'm gonna be a unicorn! Can't wait to wear my purple wig!! Also, I went to a haunted house this year and I am A Chicken. I died. That is all, fare-thee-well!!!)
> 
> (P.P.S.- Somebody please send help. My mom went on a business trip to Colorado without me. I'm on day three of surviving with nothing but boiled eggs for sustenance. Save me.)


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Masamune almost fights the new guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore the crappy title college is hard and I'm t i r e d. I somehow managed to write a three-page research paper in two hours and my brain hurts. 
> 
> P.S- Hayashi’s first name is Rin, which I chose because Google told me it meant "dignified, severe, or cold".

Masamune Takano's head is  _pounding_. He may or may not need to go get an eye exam soon; he's going to need a stronger glasses prescription if this keeps up. Plus, it probably doesn't help anything that he lost count of how much coffee he'd been drinking about five cups ago. But Hell Week doesn't care about how much his head hurts, as long as it gets to torment him and his employees as much as possible.

 _Hah_ , Masamune muses darkly. Hell  _Week._ Hell Month, or even Hell Year would be more a more appropriate title at this point.

"Attention, everybody!"

Shit, speaking of Hell. Masamune really needs to start being careful of what he thinks. Clearly, the universe exists only to prove him wrong when he thinks his day can't get any worse.

The entire Emerald Department blinks rapidly; disoriented at being pulled out of their intense focus.

Masamune Takano scowls. Please, for the love of all things holy, don't let that gratingly chipper voice belong to who he thinks it does.

"I have an announcement to make."

Masamune internally groans. Once again, he learns that there is nothing sacred in this world as his worst suspicions are confirmed.

President Isaka grins widely as the rooms focus shifts to him. Apparently, he doesn't care about the fact that by being more of a nuisance than usual, he's risking the magazine's deadline being missed.

And why would he care, Masamune thinks bitterly. It's not like any complication with this month's issue would reflect badly on  _him._ He's not the president of the damn magazine or anything.

Oh, wait.

At least one other person seems to have enough common sense to realize this. "Please get on with it, sir. I'm sure they have a lot of work to do." Isaka's personal secretary, Asahina frowns in irritation at his boss' disruptive behavior.

Masamune has to raise his coffee to his lips in order to hide the smile that threatens to break across his face.

Isaka pouts at being scolded.

 _What are you, five?_ Masamune rolls his eyes. He makes the mistake of looking too far to the right and accidentally locks gazes with the one and only Ritsu Onodera.

Ritsu's bright green eyes are glittering with amusement like he knows exactly what Masamune is thinking. He bites his bottom lip, and he and Masamune have to hurriedly look away from each other before they both burst into laughter and potentially get themselves fired.

"I know you're all very busy right now, so I'll make this quick," Isaka says graciously.

 _How generous of you,_ Masamune thinks dryly. He sends a pointed look Ritsu's way, and Ritsu coughs loudly to cover up his snort. Kisa worriedly thumps him on the back, and Masamune innocently takes another sip of his coffee. Hatori sighs and shakes his head in disappointment. Mino covers his mouth with the back of his hand to hide his wide smile. If there's one thing the Emerald Department has going for it, it's that all of its members are perfectly in sync.

Asahina clears his throat, but even his lips are quirked ever so slightly, and his eyebrows are raised in thinly veiled humor.

As expected, Isaka doesn't notice any of this. He is totally oblivious of his surroundings as he continues speaking. "The Sales Department will be getting a new member today," he reveals proudly. "He comes to us very highly rated, and I wanted to get introductions out of the way so as not to distract you all from your work."

Masamune is going to strangle him.  _So you interrupt our work just to tell us that you didn't want to interrupt our work? What the hell kind of sense does that make?_

Judging by the unimpressed looks of disbelief on everyone's faces, it's probably safe to say that they've come to the same conclusion as Masamune. Unfortunately, he doesn't get the chance to call Isaka out on his severely flawed logic.

"Everybody, this is Hayashi Rin," Isaka says, waving forward to somebody standing outside the doorway.

A man steps up to stand next to Isaka. His jet black hair is carefully pushed back from his face, and his sharp silver eyes graze over the room. "Pleased to meet you all."

Masamune raises an eyebrow. The man's voice is deeper than he'd been expecting.

"My name is Hayashi Rin. I look forward to working with you," he says formally, before lowering his head into a slight bow.

Masamune suppresses a sigh. Might as well just play along and get this over with. "I'm Takano. Welcome to Marukawa."

Hayashi nods at him in thanks.

"My name is Hatori."

"Hello, I'm Mino."

"Yo, I'm Kisa. Good luck newbie."

Ritsu nearly chokes on a laugh that he somehow manages to pass off as a cough.

Masamune, again, hides his grin behind his coffee.

"Sorry. Please excuse my mannerless coworker," Ritsu says, jabbing Kisa in the side with his elbow. Kisa just blinks, feigning innocence. "My name is Onodera. It's nice to meet you." He smiles brightly.

A warmth sparks and spreads throughout Masamune's chest and his heart thuds. As always, that smile is dangerous.

But for some reason, it seems to have the opposite effect on their newcomer. Hayashi jolts and his head snaps up. He pins Ritsu with a glance. "Onodera, huh?" Something intense glints in his eyes as he continues to stare at Ritsu.

Ritsu's smile slowly fades, and his eyebrows furrow in confusion. Did he already say something to offend Hayashi? It hasn't even been five minutes! He fidgets uncomfortably as Hayashi refuses to look anywhere else but at him.

Something hot and unpleasant churns in Masamune's stomach and warms his skin.  _What the hell are you staring at, pal?_ His fingers curl into his palm at his side. If this guy keeps gawking at Ritsu like that...

Not a moment too soon, Isaka smiles widely. "Alright, that's enough of that," he says, clapping his hands together.

Masamune's fist unclenches as Hayashi finally tears his gaze away from Ritsu.

"Now that you've all been acquainted, it's time to get back to work!"

Masamune's eye twitches. "Mr. Isaka," he says carefully, his teeth slightly gritted. "With all due respect-" not really- "you're the one who stopped us from working in the first place."

Infuriatingly, Isaka only laughs boisterously at Masamune's accurate deduction. "This is true," he admits cheerfully.

Masamune is going to strangle him.

Something secretive flashes through Isaka's expression, so quickly it could have been a trick of the light.

Masamune's shoulders tense. Because he's seen that look on their president's face before; the one that means he knows something that the rest of them don't, and it  _never_ means anything good. Not to be cliche, but he has a bad feeling about this.

"I trust you can find your way back to the Sales Department," Isaka asks, turning towards Hayashi.

Hayashi nods in confirmation. "Yes, sir."

"Good, good," Isaka nods, absently patting his shoulder. "In that case, I'll be going now. I've just remembered that I left some very important documents in need of my signature sitting on the desk," he says brightly.

Masamune wonders if he's the only one who can smell the bullshit.

Apparently not. Asahina frowns, puzzled. "What? There were no documents that I remember-"

Isaka laughs loudly and grabs Asahina's hand. "Documents, sign, now!"

Eyes wide in a rare show of bewilderment, Asahina is none-too-gently yanked out the Emerald Department's doorway by Isaka, who seems to think a pack of wild wolves has begun chasing him.

Masamune's headache returns with a vengeance. He needs more caffeine.  _That certainly wasn't suspicious at all,_ he thinks sarcastically. Honestly, how the hell is Isaka even allowed to be in charge of his own shoelaces; let alone be the CEO of a prestigious company.

A shadow of movement from the corner of his mind reminds him that Isaka isn't the only strange person who's been in their office this morning. Hayashi bows deeply to everyone, but Masamune notices with no small amount of displeasure that he never quite takes his eyes off of Ritsu. "Then, I'll excuse myself as well."

Masamune nods, and Hatori, Mino, Kisa, and Ritsu wish him farewell.

Smoothly, Hayashi makes his way to the exit, but just before he rounds the corner, he sends a final, sharp glance in Ritsu's direction.

Ritsu cringes and looks the other way.

The hot, unpleasant feeling returns. Masamune scowls. But just before he can ask Hayashi what the hell his deal with Ritsu is, he's gone.

Ritsu's shoulders slump, and he lets out an audible breath of relief.

Kisa pats him on the shoulder gently. "Are you okay, Rittie," he asks, biting his lip worriedly. There's genuine concern in his voice. "That guy was staring at you way more than anyone or anything else."

Ritsu laughs, but it's forced and sounds nervous. "Oh, so I didn't just imagine that?"

Masamune does  _not_ appreciate the tint of apprehension that dulls the previous sparkle in Ritsu's eyes. And as of right now, he is holding Hayashi personally responsible. That's strike one.

Hatori shakes his head, troubled. "No, I noticed it, too," he says gravely. "He paid a lot of attention to you."

Ritsu's flimsy smile fades.

That's strike two.

Masamune and Ritsu 's eyes meet, and a nonverbal exchange passes between them. Masamune raises an eyebrow, silently asking if Ritsu has any idea why Hayashi was so…  _weird_ towards him.

Ritsu shakes his head and shrugs helplessly. He has no idea.

Masamune's not sure if that makes him feel better or worse.

"Well," Mino joins the conversation, smiling reassuringly at Ritsu. "Whatever happens, you know we'll have your back."

Hatori nods, allowing a smile to grace his signature emotionless facade.

"Of course!" Kisa's head bobs up and down enthusiastically. "Always, Rittie," he promises, tossing an arm around Ritsu's shoulders.

Ritsu's cheeks redden. Masamune brushes off the dull twinge of childish jealousy that causes. Truth be told though, if he hadn't known that Kisa is already taken, the two of them would have needed to excuse themselves for a  _much_ longer conversation.

It also doesn't hurt that Kisa's next move is to grin slyly, and stage whisper: "Especially Takano."

Ritsu's face turns an even brighter shade, and any and all animosity Masamune may or may not have just been feeling towards his eccentric coworker is immediately forgiven. A sense of satisfaction surges through him as he crosses his arms over his chest. "Damn right," he declares with a firm nod.

Predictably, steam practically emits from his ears, and Ritsu shouts at them all to, "Stop picking on me and get back to work! This is why we never get anything done!" When all his command does is send the entire group bursting into laughter, he pouts and puts his head down on his desk in defeat. Of course, this only renews the laughter. "Why is it always like this with you people?!" His complaint is muffled by the desk.

Eventually, once everybody decides that Ritsu has had enough, they reshift their focus back to the manuscripts in front of them. Their oh-so-important surprise visit from Isaka had put them behind schedule, after all.

But Masamune can't help but notice that even though Ritsu seems completely concentrated on his work, he keeps glancing towards the doorway every once in a while and that the discomfort in his eyes Hayashi has put there still hasn't faded.

And, that's strike three.

Masamune will be keeping a  _very_  close eye on this, Hayashi Rin for a while.

* * *

Ritsu Onodera is noticing a pattern, lately. It goes something like this:

He goes to the Sales Department one morning to get Yokozawa's approval about his most recent project plan.

Hayashi stares at him until he leaves, and Ritsu's skin crawls the whole time he's there.

He goes to the break room to get a coffee -because if he doesn't get some caffeine into his system  _right now_ he'll either pass out or punch someone- and Hayashi happens to also be there.

Hayashi scowls at him.

The universe decides that it likes seeing Ritsu suffer, so it keeps the running gag going of he, Masamune, and Yokozawa somehow all ending up in the same elevator car, (which admittedly is a far less awkward and suffocating event than it used to be) but just before the doors fully close a hand slides between them and keeps them open.

Ritsu will give you one guess who it is. Also, and just for the record: Hayashi keeping his eyes glued to him the entire ride makes him  _so_ much more uncomfortable than Yokozawa ever did. He has a feeling that Yokozawa would be offended if he heard him say that, though. He somehow fights the urge to crawl out of his own skin until the elevator  _finally_ stops at Yokozawa's and Hayashi's floor.

Masamune glares daggers into the back of his head until the doors slide closed once again. "Seriously, what the hell is his deal with you," he asks, scowling.

Ritsu sighs in relief and slumps against the wall for a moment. "I wish I knew." His voice sounds more tired than he'd intended.

Masamune frowns and crosses the already small amount of distance between them until he's standing next to Ritsu. Slipping his hand into Ritsu's, he squeezes slightly in reassurance.

Ritsu squeezes back and gives him a small smile of gratitude. They're almost at their floor, but he honestly wishes that the elevator would break down like that one time it had with he and Yokozawa so that they could stay like this for a little while longer.

Of course, that's just wishful thinking. The elevator dings and slows to a stop and the doors slide open.

Ritsu sighs. Masamune squeezes his hand one more time. "Work beckons," he says with a wry smile, reluctantly pulling his hand away from Masamune's.

Masamune's lips twist downward, but he knows that Ritsu has a point. That doesn't stop him from holding onto Ritsu's hand until their last possible moment, though. Their fingertips slightly curl around each other before they separate.

Watching Ritsu's back as he exits the elevator, Masamune makes a decision: This has gone on long enough. He  _will_ find out what the hell Hayashi Rin's problem is with Ritsu the next time he has the displeasure of seeing him. But for now, while Hayashi may be a pain in their asses, he's an avoidable one. So staying by Ritsu's side is his top priority.

But don't get him wrong; if this guy keeps it up and continues to get on Ritsu's nerves, Masamune  _will_ kick his ass.

Just saying.

* * *

The final straw occurs at 4:48 p.m. on a Friday afternoon.

It had actually started out as a pretty average day, all things considered. It had even been pretty productive. Then, Ritsu had suddenly remembered that he needed to submit a proposal to Yokozawa for a final approval. No big deal, but it had to get done before five.

Masamune had tagged along. Mostly because he needed to ask Yokozawa about the meeting they had next week, but partly because he didn't like the idea of Ritsu being within fifty feet of Hayashi by himself. It's not that he doesn't trust Ritsu, or think he's capable of taking care of himself. No, that couldn't be further from the truth. It's just overprotectiveness; plain and simple. The look of relief on Ritsu's face when he heard Masamune announce his intention of going to the Sales Department as well had made him unable to feel too guilty about it, though.

So down to the Sales Department the two of them had traveled. (Masamune may or may not have taken advantage of the fact that they were the only ones in the elevator to steal a scorching kiss from Ritsu, but he will neither confirm nor deny this.) And, well, if Ritsu just so happens to find the need to grumble about "unfair sneak attacks" while fruitlessly trying to fix his suggestively disheveled hair and misaligned buttons, then that's just a coincidence.

Unrelated: Masamune is certainly planning to get Ritsu alone on the elevator as soon and as often as possible from now on. But he doesn't need to know that quite yet.

Eventually, they make it to the Sales Department. And it all goes downhill from here.

"Huh?" Masamune's forehead wrinkles and his lips curl downwards into a displeased frown. "What the hell do you mean: Yokozawa isn't here?"

The last person he or Ritsu had wanted to see sighs heavily at Masamune's question. "I said," Hayashi repeats slowly, like he's talking to a fifth grader or something. "That he isn't here. Isaka called him out to talk about something and he isn't back yet," he drawls long-sufferingly.

Masamune grits his teeth. Has he mentioned yet that this guy pisses him off? Because Hayashi  _really_ pisses him off.

Sensing his irritation climbing to dangerously high levels, Ritsu discreetly pinches the back of Masamune's hand. Not enough to hurt or anything, but his message is clear.  _Please don't say anything stupid_

Masamune nearly groans in frustration, but in the end, he heeds Ritsu's silent warning. Geez, the things he does for this man.

Letting out a quiet breath of relief, Ritsu gives Masamune a quick smile of gratitude, obviously meant to appease him.

It shouldn't work so easily, or make Masamune's agitation completely evaporate in almost an instant, but it does. Because he is a weak fool for that smile and they both know it.

"Then, do you know when he'll be back," Ritsu asks politely.

Masamune nearly loses his already shaky temper when all Hayashi does is huff in annoyance and narrow his steely grey eyes at Ritsu. "No," he says coldly.

Ritsu blinks. "Oh." His hands wring and fiddle together in an old nervous habit he's never been able to break.

Masamune's tongue sours like he's just accidentally eaten a lemon. He hates that gesture because the only times Ritsu makes it are when he's extremely agitated. It's only made worse by the fact that it's been a long while since he's seen Ritsu anxious enough to resort to that. Hayashi is on  _very_ thin ice.

"Ok, then do you know when he'll be back," Ritsu asks curiously.

"No."

Masamune bristles at Hayashi's icy tone. He's  _two seconds_ away from losing the last of his patience.

Ritsu clears his throat awkwardly. "It's just that, I needed to submit this proposal for approval…" He explains the situation hesitantly.

Hayashi breathes heavily out of his nose, and Masamune nearly decks him that second. "Just show it to me. I can review it for you," he says reluctantly, as if offering to do his job is physically painful for him.

Ritsu's eyes widen, and on instinct, he hastily hands over the document in question. He chews on his lower lip worriedly as Hayashi scans over the paper.

Far too quickly to have read it properly, Hayashi whips it away from his face and glares at Ritsu darkly. "Is this a joke," he asks incredulously, letting out a short laugh of disbelief. "I hope you weren't actually planning on submitting this garbage," he snaps brusquely. "Do you even take your work seriously at all?"

Ritsu's eyes widen at the sudden verbal attack and he cringes. "What? Of course I do! Just tell me what's wrong with it and I'll fix it," he promises determinedly.

Hayashi scoffs at him. "It would take far too much time that I don't have for you to explain just how terrible this is."

The thin string holding together Masamune's composure finally breaks.  _That's it._ He read that proposal. It was  _good._ It's exactly what he would have written, and even if it did need improvement, there was  _no_ reason for Hayashi to say it so harshly. "Do you have some kind of issue with him," he demands to know with a barely contained snarl.

Hayashi’s gaze drifts over to him, and he leans back in his chair almost boredly. "And what makes you think that?"

The sarcasm in his tone warms Masamune's blood to a rolling boil.

"If a person does shitty work, I tell them so. Do you have a problem with that?" Hayashi lifts an eyebrow in challenge.

Masamune's fingers curl into his palms in outrage. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," he bites out deliberately carefully.

"Oh?" Hayashi locks his arms across his chest. "Do tell."

Masamune's gonna kill him. "You didn't even read it." He calls out Hayashi's bullshit. "You have no right to say that his proposal was bad."

Frustratingly, Hayashi doesn't make the slightest attempt to deny Masamune's accusation. "I didn't have to read it. Just the first few words were enough to tell me all I needed to know."

Masamune's nails dig into his palm painfully and dangerously. "What the fuck kind of attitude is that," he questions angrily. "Are you that bad at your job that you can't even properly look over a proposal that I  _know_ was perfect, and offer constructive criticism instead of just insults?"

Hayashi's jaw tightens at that. "Hardly," he spits defensively.

"Then why? Why does it seem like you have a personal vendetta against Ritsu for no reason?" Masamune presses further. "Every time you're in the same room as him, you're always glaring at him like he's done something wrong. It's like you're obsessed with him, or trying to stare him to death." He says that last part particularly harshly.

Ritsu finally snaps himself out of the shock Masamune losing his temper had put him in and gently places his hand on Masamune's wrist. "Hey, it's okay. Really-"

Masamune shakes his head. "No, it's not. I want to know  _why,"_ he insists.

Hayashi's steely eyes narrow into slits. So far his composure had been kept under wraps, but it looks like Masamune's finally managed to push him past his breaking point. He draws in a sharp breath. "It's because he's an Onodera," he says lowly, and what can only be labeled as pure venom drips from his tone.

Ritsu sucks in a quick breath and takes a step back like the words had physically hit him in the stomach.

Masamune hadn't thought he could get any angrier, and he's not sure it's a good thing that he just proved himself wrong. Seeing that look on Ritsu's face makes him  _seethe._ "So? What the  _hell_ does that have to do with anything?" Dammit, this guy still doesn't make any sense!

Hayashi glowers at Ritsu in a way that makes Masamune itch to stand in front of him, and block Hayashi's view. "Onodera's don't care about anything, or anyone, but themselves," he proclaims, and the angry hurt underlying his tone suggests that he's speaking from personal experience. "They use people, and they don't care who gets hurt as long as it means there are a few extra dollars on their paycheck," he spits bitterly. "I recognized him the instant I saw him. I was surprised, seeing the heir to the Onodera throne slumming it as a manga editor, but I figured he had some ulterior motive."

Masamune's hands begin to tremble slightly in fury. But before he can do something he regrets, Ritsu speaks up.

"Do you really think that? Ritsu's question contains no judgment or rebuttal; only honest curiosity.

If Masamune knows him at all, he's trying to see from Hayashi's perspective.

Hayashi huffs irritably. "Of course I do," he says plainly.

Ritsu braves a small step forward. "Okay. Why," he asks imploringly. "I may be an Onodera, but I'm not like that. And I agree with you that those kind of people are the worst."

Hayashi blinks, and confusion contorts his features. He looks in puzzlement at Ritsu for a second, as if Ritsu is some kind of strange, more than human creature.

Masamune can relate. Once again, he is forced to realize that, wow, Ritsu is truly an angel. It used to make him envious, but now he can't feel anything but pride. He would have thrown a punch long before trying to be understanding or compassionate toward this asshole. Figures that Ritsu would try to see reason in the most unreasonably spiteful person possible.

"I transferred here from Onodera Publishing," Hayashi starts. There's a strain to his words like they're being pulled painfully from his throat.

Ritsu's breath falters, and his emerald green eyes cloud over in shock. "What?"

He sounds confused, and lost. Masamune doesn't like it.

Hayashi looks at him strangely. "You didn't know," he asks, surprise tinting his words.

Masamune and Ritsu both shake their heads. "No, not at all." Ritsu sounds even more shocked than Hayashi.

"Isaka never mentioned that," Masamune adds, a bit more exasperation in his voice than a regular man would allow when speaking about their boss.

"Really," Hayashi asks skeptically. "That's odd. I wonder why."

Masamune has a theory. But if it's correct, and Isaka genuinely hired this guy and didn't tell them why, or from where, because he was bored and wanted to see what would happen, then he will most likely say or do something in the  _very_ near future that will probably cost him his job.

"Me too," Ritsu agrees. "But anyway, that still doesn't answer my question. What did," he pauses, humming consideringly. "I'm guessing it was my father?"

Hayashi's flinch tells them that Ritsu's landed a bullseye.

"Thought so," Ritsu says knowingly, and there's a tinge of sadness hiding behind his eyes.

How somebody can have such a big heart, and be capable of such empathy, Masamune will never understand.

"What did he do?"

The resignation in his voice hurts something in Masamune's chest.

Ritsu sighs, but nods to encourage the story to continue, showing that Hayashi has his undivided attention.

Hayashi grimaces but ultimately obliges. "I was late for a meeting," he starts. "I was meant to attend lunch with some important clients, and finally close this longstanding deal, but I couldn't make it. Because my daughter had just gotten into an accident." True anguish enters his tone at the unpleasant memory.

Ritsu gasps, and Masamune would be lying if he said he said that his own heart didn't twinge the slightest bit in sympathy.

"When I called from the hospital to explain the situation, Mr. Onodera practically fired me on the spot," he recalls acidly.

Ritsu winces, and a wounded noise escapes his throat. Masamune has to fight very hard not to give in to his impulse to wrap his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder.

"So, yeah," Hayashi mutters. "I'm not the biggest fan of your family," he tells Ritsu point-blank.

Ritsu shakes his head for a moment. "I don't blame you. I can't believe that he would…" his face briefly contorts into an expression of pure disgust. "Actually I can. It sounds just like something he would do," he admits, voice pained.

Masamune's restraint finally cracks as he places a comforting hand on Ritsu's shoulder. He faces Hayashi. "I'm sorry that happened to you. That was an unfair and shitty thing to do. Nobody is denying that," he says firmly. "But I can say with complete confidence that you won't find anybody who disagrees with Onodera's decision more than, well, Onodera." He side eyes Ritsu pointedly and earns a small, wry grin and a short chuckle in return.

All too quickly, the amusement fades from Ritsu's face. Facing Hayashi once again, he bows his head deeply. "I'm very sorry that my father treated you like that. And I know it's not worth much, but I haven't talked to him in… a very long time, and I'd probably say that I dislike him almost as much as you do."

Hayashi's deep frown begins to melt into a more surprised expression. He doesn't say anything for a moment.

Ritsu's head stays lowered until Hayashi finally speaks.

"Hm. You're certainly not what I expected," Hayashi admits simply.

Ritsu raises his head, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing," he asks curiously.

Hayashi stares at Ritsu, but it's a studying glance, rather than a hostile one this time. "I'm still deciding," he says honestly.

Well, okay then. It's an improvement, at least.

Subconsciously, Ritsu's eyes drift towards the clock, and when he sees the time the blood drains from his face, leaving him a frightening shade of pale."Oh no!"

Masamune's heart stops at the cry of alarm. He spins on his heel to face Ritsu fully. "What's wrong," he demands, a bit harsher and louder than he'd intended.

Ritsu begins wringing his hands again in that damn nervous habit. "That proposal, it really needed to get submitted to Yokozawa today…" he bites his bottom lip, anxiety shining in his eyes. "Are you sure you don't know when he'll be back?"

Masamune's heart starts beating again, and he breathes a silent sigh of relief. For a second, his mind had jumped to the worst possible conclusion. Like, Ritsu's chest had started hurting suddenly, for example. Having a boyfriend who's been literally shot in the heart does  _wonders_ for his natural protective instincts. (Yeah, he's using sarcasm as a coping mechanism. Can you blame him?)

Hayashi exhales deeply. "Just leave it with me. I'll pass it on to him," he offers grudgingly. "And I'll look over it one more time while I wait."

Ritsu's jaw drops just a bit in shock. "Really," he asks hopefully.

Hayashi frowns. "What? I just happened to realize that since, maybe, you're not as horrible as I thought, then your work may deserve a second chance as well," he explains defensively.

Masamune would be surprised by how fast Hayashi's attitude completely transformed, but Ritsu just has that effect on people. His heart seizes when Ritsu smiles brightly. Again, that smile is  _lethal._

"Thank you so much," Ritsu exclaims happily.

Hayashi merely nods once, and mumbles something about "Just doing his job", and "Onodera's are so confusing."

Masamune has to look away to hide his grin. He has a reputation to uphold, after all.

Ritsu bows once more, and this time Masamune copies him, and the two of them excuse themselves from the Sales Department. For some reason, Masamune feels the urge to look back one more time before the elevator doors close.

True to his word, Hayashi is reading Ritsu's proposal, much slower and methodical than last time.

Masamune is willing to admit that  _maybe_ this Rin Hayashi isn't as bad as he first seemed.

"You know, he did give a bad first impression, but maybe Hayashi is an okay guy," Ritsu suggests, echoing Masamune's thoughts.

"Hm. Maybe," Masamune allows. He'll still be keeping a close eye on him, though. You know, just in case. Then the elevator doors close, and the fact that they are yet again the only ones on the elevator does not escape his notice.

"Why do you always insist on doing this kind of thing at work?" Ritsu yelps and complains like usual when he's tugged up against Masamune. Regardless, his protests quiet into shaky breathing just like they always do when Masamune kisses his neck and tangles a hand in his hair.

"Because it's fun," Masamune smirks at the scandalized expression he receives from his too-cute boyfriend at that. They're both essentially done with their work for the day, but there are a few documents sitting on their desks that Ritsu may insist on trying to finish. But Masamune's skin is burning, and he's already thinking of ways to get Ritsu to forget about them and head home  _immediately._

Ritsu continues to mutter half-hearted arguments, but he officially becomes putty in his hands when Masamune unexpectedly discovers this  _one_ spot just behind his ear that makes his legs shake and his breath hitch when he kisses it.

Masamune carefully files that information away, because he will definitely be exploiting that for later use.

Ritsu's face glows a fierce red when he hears that, and he sputters the usual nonsense about Masamune being a perverted jerk.

Masamune does nothing to defend himself. Mostly because Ritsu is absolutely right, but also because he's too preoccupied to do so. He shamelessly takes advantage of this newfound weakness to distract Ritsu from seeing the leftover documents sitting on the desk. He sends a quick mental thanks to Kisa, Mino, and Hatori for already being gone, otherwise, it never would have worked.

They make it all the way home by the time Ritsu realizes that he's been tricked, and then it's too late.

"Oh no," Masamune says flatly, lips tilting just slightly at the corners when Ritsu glares at him. "I guess they'll just have to wait until tomorrow." He pretends to be devastated. "How tragic." He pins Ritsu against the wall, and rests his arms on either side of the smaller man's body in a makeshift cage. You know, to display his complete and utter heartbreak, of course. "Whatever will we do in the meantime?"

Ritsu rolls his eyes, but the flush in his cheeks, the quickness of his breathing, and the fact that Masamune can feel that his pulse is racing gives him away. "You know you planned this," he sighs in defeat.

Masamune can no longer contain his amused grin. "Your muttering would be more convincing if I couldn't feel how hot you're blushing," he points out.

Ritsu gets over his irritation fairly quickly as a strangled gasp escapes his lips when Masamune bites down on that soft patch of skin hidden behind his ear.

The papers are quickly forgotten in favor of  _much_ more pleasant activities.

Masamune can't bring himself to feel bad about it. What can he say? When it comes to choosing between Ritsu and  _paperwork…_

Well, there's not even a choice to be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please refer to the beginners Author's Notes for an explanation of this terrible, and painfully abrupt ending. Also, what did y'all think of Rin Hayashi? I'm always wary about including OCs, but I kind of liked writing him!
> 
> Two announcements:
> 
> 1\. Just in case you haven't already seen, I recently posted the first chapter of a little side project I'll be writing in my spare time. It's still about our dear Ritsu and Masamune, because I don't know how to write about any other characters anymore. It's a Prince!Au, because my best friend is a terrible influence and I have no self control. It's called The Kingdom's Greatest First Love, and it would mean the *world* to me if y'all wanted to check it out!
> 
> 2\. I know I'm really late, but happy Halloween!! Anyone have any crazy costumes? I was a unicorn, and I had so much fun!
> 
>  
> 
> [Here's some pics if anyone's interested ;) ;)](https://literally-ritsu.tumblr.com/post/179638839679/happy-halloween-from-your-local-unicorn)


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absence makes the heart grow (even) fonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is... very bad. I'm sorry.
> 
> P.S- I gave myself a cameo appearance in this chapter!!! Can you find me? ;)

Masamune Takano swears that the suitcase currently laying open wide on the bed is mocking him.

It shouldn't be possible for an inanimate object to give off such a smug aura, but this one manages it flawlessly. It's all neatly packed, and the clothes inside are nicely folded and organized, but he's still stubbornly putting off zipping it up and officially declaring himself completely ready for his trip. That only makes it real, and he's trying to stay in denial for just a little longer. "It's only for a few days," he says again, not sure at this point if he's reminding himself or Ritsu of this fact.

It's most likely just himself, considering the unimpressed frown living on Ritsu's face at the moment. "I know, Masamune," he sighs. Really, he got the message loud and clear the first five hundred times Masamune had told him that line.

Not for the first time today, Masamune wonders why the hell Isaka chose  _him_ for this stupid business conference. Probably because the bastard knows perfectly well that he has absolutely no desire to do this whatsoever, if he had to take a guess. "Maybe I should tell them I can't go," he suggests again, thinking out loud. The idea is horribly tempting, but probably not the wisest move if he wishes to continue being employed.

Well, he  _is_ a highly accomplished Editor-in-chief of a successful magazine that he basically built from the ground up. He could easily get a new job if he needed to...

Somehow, Ritsu seems to know exactly what he's thinking. "Don't you dare," he warns fiercely.

Well, there goes that.

"Don't you think you're being a  _little_ over dramatic about all of this," Ritsu asks, eyebrow raised.

Masamune pouts. His boyfriend is so rude to him.

Ritsu's heart twinges. When the hell did Masamune have time to go and learn puppy eyes? "You  _have_ to go." He exhales slowly and rubs the crease that this whole ordeal has caused to form on his forehead. "I don't want you to get in trouble. And like you just said, it's only for a few days," he says firmly, placing one hand on his hip and leaving no room for argument in his tone.

Personally, Masamune thinks that any amount of time he's forced to spend away from Ritsu's side that lasts longer than thirty seconds is already far too long. "It's sweet of you to worry about me," he says flippantly, just because he knows it'll make Ritsu's cheeks turn that one pretty shade of red he likes.

It works like a charm. "When did I  _ever_ say that I was worried," Ritsu demands, looking away to try and hide his face.

Ugh, he's too cute. Masamune's desire to call Isaka and tell him to buzz off increases tenfold. "But there's no way I'm going to America for  _five days_ without you."

Ritsu can feel a headache coming on. "You.  _Have._ To," he reminds Masamune  _again._

"Says who?" Masamune quirks an eyebrow at Ritsu in a challenge.

Ritsu's going to scream. Masamune is being so  _childish._ "Uh, your  _boss?_ You know, the actual President of the entire company?"

Masamune doesn't even blink.

Ritsu resists the urge to tug at his hair. Fine, so that's how Masamune wants to play it? "Okay, if that doesn't work, than me.  _I_ say you have to," he says in a huff.

Shit. Masamune groans. "Dammit," he says, laying down in defeat on the bed next to that strangely mocking suitcase. "Why do you have to be so smart? Nobody else could have figured out what to say to make me go," he complains in a grumble.

Ritsu is relieved to see that he's finally getting through to this stubborn fool. Not that he can say much about  _that_ without coming off as a hypocrite. "Sorry, but it's your own fault. Your manipulative ways have finally started rubbing off on me." He shrugs, taking a seat next to where Masamune is lying.

The dip in the mattress caused by Ritsu's weight makes Masamune roll towards him. Settling his head more comfortably next to Ritsu's thighs, Masamune grins wryly up at him. "Oh no, what have I done," he pretends to ask in despair. "I've created a monster."

Reluctant, exasperated amusement glitters in Ritsu's emerald eyes, and he can't fight the laugh that rumbles from his stomach and spills past his lips.

Masamune's chest tightens. He's expected to go  _five days_ without seeing those gorgeous eyes, or hearing that tragically rare laugh? Yeah, sure, he'd somehow survived (in the loosest sense of the word) a Ritsu-less existence for ten years, but now that he's relearned exactly what it's like to have Ritsu in his life, it seems impossible to go back.

No. It  _is_ impossible.

Some of his thoughts must drift across his face because Ritsu's laughter fades as his eyes widen and his cheeks glow pink. "Oh-" He clears his throat and looks away for a second. "And, just… just so we're clear…" He turns back and faces Masamune fully.

The determination on his face knocks the air clean out of Masamune's lungs.

"It's not like I  _want_ you to go away, or anything." The color on Ritsu's cheeks intensifies at the confession. "I just don't want you to get in trouble with Mr. Isaka," he explains. "So," he bites his lip and stares at his fidgeting fingertips. "You can stop looking so sad now, okay?"

Masamune cannot believe what he is hearing. Ritsu is  _actually_ trying to kill him. The blush, the stuttering,  _the admittance that he doesn't want Masamune to leave?_ That's it, he's not going. How could he, when Ritsu himself had just told him what he did? Sitting up, he fishes around on the bed for his cellphone. He knows he saw it somewhere around here a minute ago…

The sudden move startles Ritsu. "Whoa," he yelps as he leans away and ends up leaning heavily against the headboard of their bed when he overbalances and falls backward. "What the hell are you doing," he asks in bewilderment as Masamune lifts the suitcase by its corner and sweeps his hand around the area below it.

Damn, no dice. "I'm looking for my phone," Masamune says, desperately thinking of anywhere it could be. Luckily, when he pats his left pocket, he finds it.

"Huh?" Ritsu's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Why?"

Masamune is already halfway done dialing Isaka's number. "Because I made up my mind: I'm not going," he declares matter-of-factly.

The headboard is pressing painfully against Ritsu's shoulder blade, but at the moment he couldn't care less.  _Dammit,_ hadn't they  _just_ gotten past this? "Masamune. You. Have. To. Go."

The words are no less effective being uttered the thirtieth time then they had been the first. "Isaka can go take a long walk off a short pier," Masamune mutters petulantly. 

Ritsu both envies and admires that his boyfriend can speak about their boss with such disdain dripping from his tone.

"You just told me you don't want me to go, so I'm not going," Masamune says logically. But honestly, even if there had been a  _slight_ part of him that was insane enough to willingly endure  _five days without Ritsu_ (which there isn't, by the way) that little confession Ritsu just made would have been more than sufficient to change his mind. And since Masamune already had less than a single drop of desire to go to America for some stupid conference, it's a perfect solution!

Ritsu's cheeks heat up, and as always, it's fascinating how quickly his face turns red. "I only said that because you were making this ridiculous sad face," he says defensively.

Yeah, Masamune doesn't believe that for a damn second. It was a good attempt, though. "So," he asks, resting his hands on either side of Ritsu's hips; essentially entrapping him. "Are you saying you  _do_ want me to leave, then?" He leans in, shamelessly invading Ritsu's personal space until their noses are nearly touching.

"No!" Ritsu tries to hide it, but the way that his breath catches and his skin heats up are unmistakable. He tries to back away, but his back and head are already flush against the headboard, and Masamune grants him no escape route. "That's, um," he fumbles with his words, keeping his gaze off towards the wall.

That just won't do. Gently cupping the side of Ritsu's face, Masamune tilts his head up and finally closes the rest of the distance between them.

Ritsu gasps in surprise. Really, you'd think that after all this time, and considering how often they find themselves in this position, he would eventually start to get over the ever-present initial shock when Masamune kisses him. But he hasn't, and secretly, a possessive and selfish part of Masamune is glad.

Masamune greedily takes the opportunity presented to him to press even further and deepen the kiss; raising his hand and squeezing Ritsu's side just above his hips. The choked off whine it pulls from the back of Ritsu's throat quickly and easily demolishes any remaining shred of self-control he had left. All he knows is that he needs  _more._ To get  _closer._

Not helping matters in the slightest, instead of going through the motions and putting up his usual half-assed fight, all Ritsu does is wrap his arms around Masamune's neck and cling to him desperately. He figures that it's the closest thing he'll ever get to Ritsu openly telling him  _'I'm going to miss you,'_ and right now he is perfectly okay with that as long as it means he can keep kissing and touching Ritsu like this.

A tiny voice in the back of his mind whispers that Masamune should be concerned that he's so  _helplessly_ gone for this man underneath him.

Masamune tells it to shut up.

Tragically, no more packing gets done that night.

* * *

Two days pass, and then Masamune leaves.

His flight was scheduled to take off pretty early in the morning, so he has to wake up at a ridiculous hour to make it to the airport in time. Ritsu wakes up to lips pressed against his own, and while his first instinct would usually be to screech and call Masamune a pervert, he can't muster the energy or the willpower to do so considering that it's the last time they'll kiss for five days. It seems like a much longer amount of time now that he's actually being faced with Masamune's departure, rather than just the idea of it.

He catches Masamune off guard when he sleepily and clumsily attempts to kiss back.

"You are  _not_ making this any easier," Masamune mumbles unhappily against his lips.

"Don't kiss sleeping people," Ritsu counters smartly, in all of his half-asleep wiseness. "It's creepy." Masamune snorts, he thinks. But he doesn't remember because by then he's already fallen back into a deep slumber.

When Ritsu wakes up for real, at a later and much more acceptable hour, Masamune is gone. It's strange, waking up to silence after becoming accustomed to hearing the sound of another person breathing next to him every day for so long. He doesn't have time to think about that though; he's going to be late for work!

Scrambling around in a frenzy, Ritsu grabs the first two items of clothing he finds and throws them on. His hair is, as always, a mess, but he gave up on trying to do anything to tame it long ago. He knows when to choose his battles, sometimes. Breakfast is out of the question, so he just stops by the thankfully empty convenience store by the train station on his way. He grimaces on the thought of the lecture Masamune would give him if he knew that Ritsu has once again succumbed to energy drinks, but give him a break; it's not like he has much of a choice! Oh well, he'll just make sure to eat a decent lunch later.

He makes it onto the train in the nick of time, the doors nearly hitting his shoulder as they close. Breathing heavily in the hopes of regaining control over his pounding heart, that deep, sadly familiar ache settles in his stomach. Damn, not even five hours after Masamune's left, and he's already resorted to his old, admittedly unhealthy ways.

Well, at least there shouldn't be too much work that needs to be done today. Their "Cycle", had just reached completion the day before, otherwise, they never would have been able to send Masamune away for almost a whole week. So, as long as their manga authors  _stay on track and do their damn work,_ everything should be fine. Right?

Wrong.

The Emerald Department is nothing less than a total warzone when Ritsu arrives at work. Blank sheets of copy paper are strewn about the desks, the chairs, the floors, and there's even one that's somehow gotten stuck to the ceiling. The office phone is ringing off the hook.

Mino, a bundle of papers clutched protectively to his chest, dashes from the room the second the printer goes silent.

Kisa is typing furiously with one hand, while he holds his cell phone to his ear with the other. "Hatori,  _please_  talk some sense into him. Just because he got into a fight with one of his assistants does  _not_ mean that he can quit!"

Ah, what a surprise; Hatori's author is is causing problems again.

Whatever Hatori says in response to that causes Kisa to groan in frustration and pinch the vein that's forming on his forehead. "No, you can  _not_ kill him," he shouts sternly, ending the call with a not-so-silent scream.

Cautiously, Ritsu approaches his agitated coworker, like one would when nearing a wounded, wild animal. "Kisa,  _what_  is going on," he asks, not bothering to keep the pure bewilderment out of his tone.

Kisa's head jerks as he cranes his neck to look at him. "Rittie, you're here!" His shout is full of surprise and relief. "It's terrible! Takano's gone, our deadline has been moved up, and now "Chiharu Yoshikawa" has missed the cut-off date  _again,_ and is threatening to quit!" His voice grows in volume and desperation as he speaks.

To add to the complete and utter chaos that has befallen them, the phone sitting on Masamune's desk begins ringing barely five seconds after it had stopped the last time.

Kisa lets out a noise that sounds like a sob and drops his head down to his desk so hard it makes Ritsu's own head ache with sympathy. "And to make it all worse, the printer has been calling here nonstop  _All. Morning."_

Ritsu winces. No wonder Kisa is so stressed. Everything else going wrong this morning would have been bad enough on its own, but the printers are harsh and demanding on a good day, which this clearly is not.

"I don't know what to do, Rittie," Kisa cries, and there's genuine despair in his eyes.

Ritsu's heart twinges. Kisa really does look exhausted; the bags under his eyes still haven't fully faded from the horrors of Hell Week. There's usually more time for them all to recover than this, but even that meager comfort has been stolen from them.  _'Why does this all have to happen the one time Masamune is gone,'_ he thinks bitterly.

The phone goes silent, and then immediately begins ringing again.

Irritation heats Ritsu's skin. He will  _not_ let the magazine Masamune works so hard on fall to pieces in his absence! Confident as he only ever can be while under the cover of professionalism, he marches toward the phone and answers the call.

Kisa picks his head up from the desk due to surprise when the annoying ringing abruptly stops.

"Hello," Ritsu snaps crisply, only barely trying to keep his voice polite. "This is Ritsu Onodera at Marukawa's Emerald Department. "

Whoever's on the other end starts babbling angrily immediately, but Ritsu keeps calm and continues speaking.

"I don't know who said that the deadline has been moved up, but that isn't something that can be decided until it's been discussed with everybody." Ritsu allows the tiniest bit of steel to harden his voice. "So, until further notice, the deadline will still be kept at its original time, and we will meet it, just like we always do. Thank you very much, have a nice day."

Stunned silence is all he hears as he takes the phone away from his ear.

He ends the call and puts a hand to his chest where his pulse is pounding wildly.  _'If they ever try to send me back to the printing office to deliver manuscripts I'm doomed.'_

Applause draws Ritsu out of his panicked thoughts. "Wow, Rittie, that was incredible!" The aura of anxiety and distress that had been hovering around Kisa has been effectively cleansed.

Now, it's been transferred over to Ritsu. "I can never go to the printing office again," he murmurs, horrified.

"Probably," Kisa agrees cheerfully, rising from his chair and heartily patting Ritsu's shell-shocked figure on the shoulder. "But that was awesome!"

Ritsu takes a deep breath to calm himself down. He'll worry about begging the printers for their forgiveness later. For now, he has plenty of other things to worry about. "Well, that should buy us a little time with them, at least. What else do we need to do?"

Kisa taps on his chin in thought. "I'm not sure, honestly. That was one of the main problems, and Mino and Hatori are taking care of the other ones. Yoshikawa has really messed up, this time. Hatori was  _furious,"_  he recalls with a shudder.

Ritsu breathes out a sigh of relief. He does feel a little sympathy for the author; an angry Hatori is a terror, indeed, but the amount of trouble that's been caused only this morning because of him keeps Ritsu from feeling too much pity. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Hatori has a soft spot for him, after all."

Kisa hums, nodding in agreement. "True." A devilish grin lights up his face. "It's almost like they're a couple. I wonder…" He wiggles his eyebrows pointedly at Ritsu.

Ritsu waves his hand through the air in front of his face. "No, that's impossible. Hatori would never date one of our authors. He's way too professional for that."

Kisa pouts at having his parade rained on, but he recovers quickly enough. "Yeah, you're probably right," he concedes with a shrug. "I just let my imagination run away with me." His eyebrows furrow when Ritsu grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder. "Are you going somewhere," he asks curiously.

Ritsu nods in confirmation. "I have a meeting with Ms. Mutou to discuss her next book in about thirty minutes. We decided to meet somewhere in between both of our places, but I need to leave now if I want to make it in time."

Kisa's lips form an 'O' of understanding. "I see. Okay, get there safe! And thank for dealing with the printers. I was going to scream." He waves goodbye to Ritsu.

' _You_ did  _scream,'_ Ritsu almost says, but ultimately decides against it. He waves back over his shoulder and starts his trek towards the train station. As he waits for his train to arrive, his mind unwittingly drifts back to what Kisa had mentioned earlier. 'Could  _it be possible that Hatori and Mr. Yoshino are dating?'_

Hm. Normally he wouldn't believe such silly rumors, but it's undeniable that Hatori  _does_ only seem to lose his iron composure when his troublesome author is involved. Maybe…

Ritsu shakes his head to snap himself out of his ridiculous thoughts.  _'Get your head out of the clouds, Ritsu! Hatori and Mr. Yoshino, dating? Don't be absurd.'_ A relationship between somebody so strict and somebody so scatterbrained is ludicrous, plain and simple.

And that's that. He puts the issue out of his mind entirely and focuses on trying to find his way to the coffee shop Ms. Mutou had requested they meet at without getting lost. He's not familiar with this part of town, and he has an awful sense of direction.

Ritsu's eyes widen when he spots the sign with the coffee shop's name on it. He made it! And he didn't even get lost once! Finally,  _he'll_ be the one who showed up to his and Ms. Mutou's meeting a few minutes early, rather than the other way around. He allows himself to feel a slight bit of pride at this rare feat as he opens the door to the shop. Instantly, the tantalizing scent of freshly brewed coffee fills his nose, and he takes a deep, greedy lungful. God, he loves coffee so much.

Behind the counter the barista, a girl with wide eyes just a few shades lighter than the coffee beans surrounding them, smiles and welcomes him in. She appears to be about the same height as him, and despite her shockingly curly auburn hair being pulled up into a short ponytail, random strands of curls still fall into her face, so she has to keep tucking them behind her ears or under her hat.

Stuttering only a little bit, Ritsu manages to order drinks for both himself and Ms. Mutou. He internally cringes at the fact that, even now, he's hopeless when it comes to this kind of situation. He swears he'll get better at it one day, though! But today is not that day. Definitely  _not_ sulking, he takes a sip on his coffee while he waits for Ms. Mutou to arrive.

This happens five minutes later, at exactly the time they'd agreed upon. Ms. Mutou wearily greets him, and all but passes out into the seat across from him.

When Ritsu first sees her, he has to do a double-take. Because Ms. Mutou, and he means this in the nicest possible way, looks like absolute hell. Her skin is pale, her eyes are bloodshot, and there are dark, purple circles bruising the space underneath her eyes that could rival even the ones that appear on his face during Hell Week.

Ritsu has a feeling that they're going to need a lot more caffeine before this is done.

Writer's block; it's the root of all evil, and now it's got her in its clutches, with no signs of letting her go anytime soon. Ms. Mutou is usually able to escape it without too much trouble, but this time it's really bad. It takes five coffees, four hours, and three cases of her spontaneously bursting into tears and Ritsu having to frantically explain to well-meaning strangers that no, he is  _not_  harassing this woman, he's just trying to help her!

Finally, after one more coffee, Ms. Mutou calms down enough to take a deep breath and begin sketching in her notebook. The writer's block has been defeated, for now anyway.

Ritsu nearly follows his author's lead to bursting into tears as well, but his phone beginning to ring saves him from that embarrassment.

"Rittie!" Kisa's voice shrieks, and he sounds like he's near tears, also. "Help!"

Ritsu sighs. It's quite late in the afternoon, and he'd just begun entertaining the idea of grabbing a bite to eat before heading back to the office, but that won't be happening now. Ms. Mutou is, thankfully, back in the zone now, so he quietly excuses himself and heads for the door.

The curly haired barista wishes him to have a good day as the door closes, and Ritsu can only sincerely hope that her wish comes true.

Back at the Emerald Department, Hatori has returned, and he, Kisa, and Mino are all concentrating harshly on what looks like a new manuscript that's been divided up between them.

"Huh? Why is this here," Ritsu asks, puzzled. "We weren't supposed to be getting any new manuscripts until at least next week when Masamune gets back."

Hatori glances up at him briefly, scowling darkly, and if Ritsu hadn't known that it wasn't directed at him, he would be a lot more scared than he already is. "Ms. Ichinose happened to finish her work early, so now we must edit it and send it back as soon as possible." His words are polite enough, but the acidic aggravation dripping from his voice sends chills of foreboding down Ritsu's spine.

What a surprise, that the  _one_ time any of their authors actually submit their work on time, and even ahead of schedule, it would end up being even more inconvenient than if the deadline had been missed. Of course, Ms. Ichinose would turn in her manuscript when her editor happens to be out of the freaking  _country._ Why not?

Sitting down and asking for his share of the work, Ritsu has to keep firmly reminding himself that it will do him no good to murder one of their company's best-selling manga authors. That doesn't make the idea any less appealing, though. Especially not four hours later, when his head starts to pound, his heart begins to race, and his hands tremor slightly as the caffeine from the coffee's he'd had with Ms. Mutou finally kicks in all at once. It's hard to concentrate on his work when he's more than vaguely worried that he might be going into cardiac arrest, but he manages it. He drinks a little water, and then gets back to work, pulse still fluttering concerningly and skin buzzing.

At 9:48 p.m., the edit of Erika Ichinose's latest book's first draft is officially completed. On the verge of collapsing in relief, Kisa ensures that a copy of the edits are faxed over to her home.

Hatori, looking even more tired than usual, excuses himself first. Mino follows shortly after. Ritsu sluggishly finishes packing up his things, and he and Kisa walk to the doors together, saying their goodbyes through thinly disguised yawns as they part ways at the entrance.

By the time Ritsu stumbles his way into the train station, his head hurts like somebody's taken a railroad spike and driven it into his skull. His entire body feels unbearably  _heavy,_ as if the earth itself has become one giant, powerful  _Ritsu-magnet_ that is pulling him down to the ground. Belatedly, he realizes that perhaps he drank a bit too much coffee earlier because now, all of the caffeine is leaving his system in a rush, and he can easily say that this is the  _worst_ caffeine crash he's ever experienced in his life.

He honestly has very little memory of that particular train ride. All he knows is that one second, he's trying to force his eyes to stay open and his body to keep standing on the train that's swaying so much he thinks he'll be sick, and the next, he's walking out of the station near his and Masamune's apartment building.

Ritsu absently considers stopping by the convenience store he passes on the way to get home, but with how the fatigue is crashing into him even as he's walking, he's not even hungry anymore, and he doesn't think he could eat anything if he tried. So, wearily, he trudges past the convenience store and heads home.

The second he walks through the door of the apartment, an explosion of relief takes place in his chest, and his exhaustion returns, surging through his body with a vengeance.

He doesn't even make it to the bed. The last thing he remembers thinking is that he wishes he could call Masamune or something, just to hear his voice, but he can't; neither of their phones have an international calling plan. What a shame.

When he wakes up in the morning, it's to the familiar ache in his back that's all too recognizable from his days of falling asleep in the doorway, and the sight of his, thankfully closed and locked front door. Squinting at the screen of his still somewhat charged phone to check what the hell time it is, he groans in dismay when he sees that he has ten minutes left before he has to leave if he wants to make it to work on time. Damn it all.

And so, the cycle begins again.

And again.

And again.

It's a different disaster every day, and he counts himself lucky if he manages to stumble into his apartment before midnight; passing out on either the floor or the couch.

By the fourth day of this never-ending hell, Ritsu wakes up (on the couch this time. He'd tried to sleep in the bed, but it's just too cold now to sleep in by himself) in the foulest mood known to man that not even coffee is capable of soothing. His head hurts, dark spots dance around in his vision, and his stomach, already sore and aching from the amount of stress he's under that he  _should_ be better at dealing with by now, twists painfully at even the simple thought of food. When he sits up, everything goes fuzzy for just a second, and he can't seem to find control over his balance.

His alarm clock continues to shriek at him, and Ritsu want to scream, he kind of wants to cry, but most of all he just wants Masamune to come  _home,_ dammit! What kind of business conference is there for  _manga editors_ that lasts five days?!

The only consolation Ritsu has is that at least Masamune will be home by this time tomorrow. It's enough to get Ritsu to pick himself up, wash his face, and grab one of the energy drinks that have somehow found their way into his fridge. Masamune will scold him when he sees, but right now Ritsu doesn't care. He just wants to get through this day, and wake up tomorrow and  _finally_ see his boyfriend again.

' _Ugh, if he saw me acting like this, Masamune would_ never  _let me live it down.'_

With that in mind, Ritsu grits his teeth, finishes his energy drink, and heads out the door. The ache in his head doesn't dissipate, nor does the queasy feeling in his stomach improve much on his way to work. Regardless, he tries his best to ignore it, and focus on other things. A truly terrible idea on his part, and one that doesn't work very well.

As soon as he enters the Emerald Department, Hatori, Kisa, and Mino all eye him in with concern.

"Onodera, are you alright," Hatori asks as Ritsu takes his seat at his desk.

"Yeah, you don't look so good, Rittie," Kisa chimes in, genuine worry in his voice instead of the usual teasing.

"Are you sick," Mino asks, absent of his signature smile. "You look paler than normal."

Ritsu is  _not_ in the mood for this. He does appreciate his co-workers looking out for him, but isn't this a little much? "I'm fine," he says, trying to brush off their uneasiness to no avail. "I just don't feel so great right now, but it'll pass; don't worry about me."

Having the opposite effect of what they were intended, Ritsu's assurance only serves to deepen his coworkers' frowns.

"If you're not feeling well, you can head home for the day." Hatori gives Ritsu a rare smile. "We're all caught up with everything, thanks to you, so you've definitely earned a break."

Mino nods in agreement. "Onodera has worked hard these last few days, hasn't he?" For once, the smile on his face doesn't feel unnerving.

"He has," Kisa agrees enthusiastically. "I would have totally choked on that first day if Rittie hadn't been here. He's a lifesaver!"

Heat rises to Ritsu's cheeks at the onslaught of compliments, but he shakes his head. "I really didn't do all that much, but thank you, guys. And really, I'm fine." Timing leaving much to be desired, a violent sneeze that escapes him contradicts his words.

"Go home, Onodera," Hatori orders, although not unkindly. "You need to rest before you get any sicker than you probably already are."

Ritsu tries to protest that he's not sick, but his aching head and twisting stomach prevent him from doing so.

Kisa lightly touches his forehead and a worried crease forms between his eyebrows. "You do feel kind of warm, but I can't tell if it's a fever yet."

Ritsu's eyes widen. How did it get so bad so quickly? It hasn't even been a week. What could he have possibly done to get himself sick in just a few days?

' _Not sleeping much, barely eating, and living off of pretty much nothing but energy drinks and one convenience store dinner will do that to you,'_ An irritated voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Masamune lists off one by one.

Ritsu cringes.

"Takano is coming home tomorrow, right?" Kisa removes his hand from Ritsu's forehead, and suddenly Ritsu has to suppress the desire to shiver when the cool air meets his skin.

Damn, maybe he  _is_ sick. "His flight is supposed to land in twenty hours and twenty-three minutes," Ritsu recites automatically, realizing too late that he didn't even spare a glance towards the clock.

Kisa raises an eyebrow, slightly amused but genuinely impressed. "But who's counting, right?"

Why was Ritsu cold a second ago? Now his face feels like it could fry an egg.

"Anyway, you really have worked hard this week," Kisa praises. "So go home, get some rest, and don't come back until you feel better!" His command is both joking and serious. "Besides, Takano will kill us if he finds out we let you get sick while he was gone."

Hatori and Mino both nod solemnly in agreement.

Ritsu honestly can't tell if the weariness he's currently feeling is due to an illness that he may or may not have, or if it's merely from dealing with his… eccentric coworkers. "Do I have a choice in this," he asks, having a feeling he already knows the answer.

Just as he'd expected, Kisa, Mino, and Hatori all shake their heads. "Nope," they chorus cheerfully.

Ritsu sighs. Oh well. He does kind of feel like crap. Maybe going home and taking it easy after this unexpected Hell Week Part II isn't such a bad idea.

Like they can smell weakness, Kisa and Mino work together to pack up Ritsu's barely unpacked things and usher him out of the Emerald Department. They don't seem to show any signs of leaving his side within the near future, and they probably would have followed him all the way to the train station if he hadn't bid them goodbye and shaken them off at the entrance of the building.

' _Geez, these guys are something else, to put it lightly.'_

And yet, Ritsu can't help but feel a mixture of exasperation and fondness at their antics. Lips twisting into a small smile, he shakes his head and begins walking to the station, and makes it with plenty of time to spare before the next train leaves. While he waits, his body, disconnected from his mind, brings out his phone and pulls up the copy of the flight information he'd asked Masamune to email him.

Nineteen hours and fifty-eight minutes.

Coming back to reality, Ritsu turns his phone off and stows it away back in his pocket.  _'What the hell am I doing,'_ he scolds himself.  _'I'm acting like some sort of character from a shoujo manga!'_ This is unacceptable. Just because he has to work around them all day doesn't mean he needs to let them influence his life  _that_ much.

The train arrives, and as Ritsu boards it, he vows to get some sleep and to clear his head before this gets any more out of hand.

The ride passes by in a blur, and when the train rolls to a stop at Ritsu's destination it's almost completely thanks to auto-pilot that he remembers to get off of the train and onto the path for home. The weather is quite nice outside; there's not a cloud to be found in the crystal blue sky, and there aren't too many annoying pedestrians milling around, so he doesn't hurry as he walks down the narrow road that leads to his apartment.

All too quickly, though, he's made it to his front door, and as soon as he unlocks it and pushes it open, another wave of unpleasant exhaustion washes over him and saps away his energy down to nothing. Dropping his bag by the door, he sits down heavily on the couch because the bed is too far away (and because it still feels unnatural to sleep there without Masamune).

As Ritsu Onodera gives into sleep and his eyes drift shut, there are supposed to be eighteen hours and thirty-four minutes left before Masamune's plane lands at the airport.

But it should be common knowledge by now that Masamune Takano has never been one for following what's expected of him.

* * *

It's dark and quiet when Masamune pushes open the door to their apartment. Taking great care to be as silent as possible, he mentally begs the door not to squeak as it swings closed. He sighs in relief when it doesn't make a sound. Taking a look around the familiar walls, he takes the first deep breath he has in days.

 _Finally,_ he's home.

He'd called his department when he had learned that the conference was ending a day earlier than planned, partly to let Hatori know he would be coming back sooner than scheduled, and partly because he wanted to talk to Ritsu.

Then, Hatori had told him that Ritsu was sick.

Masamune wasn't as surprised by that news as he probably should have been. Of course, that idiot would get somehow get sick in the four days of his absence. That's Ritsu, for you.

Hatori had sent him home and warned Masamune not to call his cell phone, just in case he was actually sleeping like he'd been told. Doubtful, but you never know. With how quiet it is in here, though, it looks like Hatori was right.

Now, Masamune just has to find him. Walking as soundlessly as he can, he starts down the hallway and heads for the bedroom. To his surprise, however, the sound of breathing and the occasional, light snore is coming not from their comfortable bed, as it should be, but from their couch in the living room.

 _Why is this dummy sleeping on the couch?_ Masamune doesn't fight the smile that comes to his lips at his boyfriend's weirdness. God, he missed Ritsu like crazy. He's never going on another trip without him again, by the way.

Ritsu's cheeks are flushed. His forehead feels hot when Masamune gently brushes his hair away and presses his palm against it. His breathing is deep and even, but small snores escape him every so often. Garbled nonsense that most likely is meant to be words tumble from his lips as he sleeps. Masamune wonders what he's dreaming about.

"Masamune…" Ritsu sighs, rolling over onto his side, never waking for a moment.

Well, that answers that question.

Masamune's heart stops in his chest. This man is going to be the death of him one day, he knows it. "Ritsu," he whispers. "I'm back."

Ritsu remains sleeping, and Masamune's chest fills until it hurts. He looks so small, curled up on his side on their couch.

 _He can't stay there,_ Masamune decides. Carefully, he maneuvers one arm around Ritsu's shoulders and the other one underneath his knees. He jokes that Ritsu is heavy, but picking him up is no difficult task, and right now it's even easier than it usually is.  _He hasn't been eating properly,_ Masamune notes with a frown as Ritsu's worryingly warm figure settles against his chest.

As heavy a sleeper as he is, even Ritsu can't sleep through being picked up. Groaning, his eyes scrunch before opening slowly; revealing the beautiful emerald green that Masamune's missed seeing for almost five days. Blearily, Ritsu blinks up at him a few times. "What…"

Masamune smiles. "Hey there, sleepy head." His voice sounds disgustingly soft and fond, even to his own ears. Then, the smile fades just a bit. "You're sick," he scolds lightly.

Ritsu blinks again, and some of the cloudy confusion clears from his eyes. "Masamune!" His shout is equally shocked and delighted. "What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow."

Masamune subconsciously tightens his grip around Ritsu. "The conference ended a little early," he explains, dropping a kiss to the top of Ritsu's head because he can. "And what do I find when I come home, but that my boyfriend is sick enough to have been sent home," he says, unimpressed.

Ritsu's cheeks color even more than they'd already been if that were possible.

Masamune huffs. "What were you even doing, sleeping on the couch," he asks curiously.

Another shade of red darker, and Ritsu mumbles something under his breath.

"Huh? Speak up, you know I can't hear you when you do that."

Ritsu won't look at him as he says "I couldn't sleep there without you."

Masamune chokes on air, and his heart does a backflip in his chest. That's it, he's never letting himself be separated from Ritsu for even a single day ever again, conferences be damned. Unable and unwilling to stop himself, he leans down and presses his lips firmly against Ritsu's.

Startled, Ritsu's arms fly around his back and his fingers dig into the area between Masamune's shoulder blades before relaxing and raising to wrap around his neck.

A feeling of pure  _contentedness_  like Masamune's never known fills him now that he's back home with the man he loves literally in his arms. Pulling away slightly, he greedily drinks in Ritsu's "just been kissed" expression that he hasn't had the pleasure of seeing in far too long. "Well I'm here, now," he promises. The  _forever_ is not said, but he thinks Ritsu hears it because he shivers slightly. Masamune relishes in the feeling of it.

Face in flames, and only partially thanks to the fever, Ritsu squeezes his eyes shut and rests his head back against Masamune's chest. It's something else, to be able to hear Masamune's heart beat steadily in his ear once more, and he won't be taking it for granted ever again. Taking in a shaky breath, he can't fight the smile that comes to his face.

"Welcome home. I missed you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶M̶a̶s̶a̶m̶u̶n̶e̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶p̶e̶r̶l̶y̶ ̶"̶c̶e̶l̶e̶b̶r̶a̶t̶e̶d̶"̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶r̶e̶t̶u̶r̶n̶.̶ ̶R̶.̶I̶.̶P̶ ̶R̶i̶t̶s̶u̶'̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶p̶s̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶E̶n̶d̶.̶
> 
> Did you find me? Lol.
> 
> These boys are hopeless istg they spent four and a half days apart and both of them were a wreck the whole time. Ugh, I love them. 
> 
> P.S- About that new manga chapter... No. I reject it. It never happened. And until further notice, I am officially stealing Ritsu and Masamune from Nakamura. She can have them back when she learns to write them properly. That is all. 
> 
> P.P.S- I hope everyone is having an excellent Thanksgiving break!!!


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exes and Woes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Okay, I really need to finish this research paper and study for finals!
> 
> Also me: *Definitely does not finish that research paper or study for finals*
> 
> Somebody please help why am I like this???
> 
> P.S- I feel like I should apologize in advance for this? So, uh, sorry, I guess.
> 
> P.P.S- Holy shit I just noticed that the word count of this fic is over 100k words!!! That offically makes this the longest thing I have ever written!!!!!

Masamune Takano is used to being called a playboy. From co-workers to strangers, you name it. Everybody and their dog seems to know far too much about his private life.

He doesn't particularly like the term, but he'll be the first to admit that he  _has_  done his fair share of sleeping around, so hey, if the shoe fits, or whatever. What can he say, college was a bitch. Finding out his dad wasn't his biological father, his parent's divorce officially finalizing, and thinking that Ritsu had been engaged the entire time they were dating? Yeah, fun times all around.

(He knows better now, of course, and that Ritsu's situation with An was… abnormal, to say the least, but at the time, that had been the straw that broke the camel's back.)

So what if he'd tried to drown himself in booze, partying, and a different partner every night? That's nobody's business but his own. If he wanted to take home an attractive man or woman that caught his eye every day of the week, then he damn well would.

Of course, he had put an end to that kind of thing the second he realized exactly who the cute, mouthy brunette with gorgeous green eyes that had just joined his crew as a rookie editor was, but it was too late; the damage was already done. Now he has a reputation, and only himself to blame.

Ritsu acts like it doesn't bother him, knowing that there's such a large gap in between their… levels of experience, but it does. Every time they run into somebody Masamune's had one of his encounters with, (which is far too often these days for either of their likings) he gets oddly quiet. He's always polite to a fault towards whichever one of Masamune's ex-flings they've had the displeasure of crossing paths with that day because that's just how Ritsu is.

Seeing Ritsu like that hurts, but it's Masamune's own fault. He wishes each time he watches the spark dull from Ritsu's eyes as he realizes how this seemingly random stranger that's suddenly approached them recognizes Masamune, that he could go back in time and knock some sense into himself for being such a colossal  _idiot._

But it's too little too late. All Masamune can do is take it, and wish he could find the proper words to apologize when Ritsu stops speaking for a while and refuses to look him in the eye after the latest meeting with one of Masamune's previous conquests. He brought this on himself, and Ritsu deserves a moment alone with his thoughts, at the very least.

But right now, it's just the two of them, (like it always should be, if you ask Masamune) and everything is good.  _More_ than good. They're out, having dinner at their favorite restaurant on their way home from work; something that's become sort of a Friday night tradition of theirs. And sitting across from Ritsu, excitement glittering in his eyes as he talks about Ms. Mutou's latest story idea, Masamune can honestly say that he's never felt more content than in this moment.

What the hell had he been thinking, pretending that sleeping with random people would help him get over  _Ritsu?_  As if. He was already hopelessly gone the instant he saw the name  _Ritsu Oda_ written right underneath his own on the library cards of all his favorite books when he was eighteen.

Now, Masamune finally has Ritsu back at his side, a warm, endless fondness bubbling up in his chest, and a wish that this perfect moment could last forever.

So of course, now is when everything goes to shit. It always starts something like this:

"Takano?" An unfamiliar, feminine voice calls his name from behind him. "Is that you?"

Ritsu's joyful rambling cuts off abruptly, and he looks up in surprise.

Masamune frowns. He never gets to see Ritsu so openly excited about something. Who the hell is trying to talk to him  _right now,_ of all times?

The owner of the voice slowly saunters into their line of view. Her hair is blonde, and cascades down her back in elegant waves, complimenting her wide, silver eyes quite nicely. Her form-fitting dress is a deep, midnight blue, and her painted red lips are stretched into an 'O' of surprise.

Masamune feels sick to his stomach as he takes in the woman's appearance. Because dammit all, he recognizes that blonde hair and those silver eyes, albeit barely. He silently curses; here they go again. Why does this  _always_ only seem to happen when the two of them are out on a date? There's some kind of conspiracy here, he swears it.

She's pretty enough. Masamune can see why she would have caught his eye, back when he was still doing that type of thing.

Ritsu's eyes also drift towards the newcomer, and only genuine confusion and curiosity twist his features. He hasn't realized yet.

Masamune selfishly prays that he won't, but that's a longshot; his boyfriend is not stupid.

"It is you," the blonde says happily. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in forever."

Masamune bites the inside of his cheek to hold back the groan of frustration that threatens to escape from him. It's hardly her fault that she had the misfortune of drawing his attention one night years ago. But still; can't they just have _one_ night out to themselves in which they don't somehow run into a ghost from his past?

Apparently not.

"I've been doing okay," Masamune promises, forcing a polite smile. Internally, though, he is praying with all he has that for once, the conversation will be kept short and that she'll go away before Ritsu realizes how they know each other. "How about you…" he pauses, and remembers locking eyes with the pretty blonde from across the bar one night ages ago. She'd introduced herself then, but he'd cared nothing for names at the time. Only how quickly he could get them back to his place if he drove fast. Her name floats to the surface of his mind. "Erika."

Erika beams. "You remembered. I'm flattered."

Ritsu's eyes travel between her and Masamune. They're still confused, but a hint of suspicion is beginning to dawn in them.

_Dammit._

Not for the first time, and most likely not for the last, Masamune curses himself for the poor, reckless decisions he'd made under the influence of alcohol, and a burning hatred of, well, pretty much everything; before Ritsu had come back into his life and shocked him into getting his act together. Looking back, he can see that his actions were horribly stupid, and it only ever served to make him, and now Ritsu, suffer

"I can't stay long," Erika says regretfully. "My friend is waiting for me."

"That's too bad," Masamune says, while silently thanking his lucky stars for deigning to have mercy on him, for once.

"It was good to see you," she says, and Masamune can tell that she means it.

"You too," Masamune says, suprising himself as he smiles genuinely. It really is a shame that she got tangled up in his twisted lifestyle back then. She's a sweet girl. He thinks she might have tried to contact him after he'd unceremoniously kicked her out the morning after, but by then he'd already deleted all of the numbers from his phone except for Yokozawa's.

"You-" Erika bites her lip, and looks away for a second, before turning back to face Masamune. "You look… good. Happier than the last time I saw you," she says, obviously choosing her words carefully. "I'm glad."

Masamune's eyes widen. That's a first.

"Back when we met, you smiled, but it never seemed real. It didn't reach your eyes," Erika says, eyes distant and tone bittersweet. "It was like you were lost, or broken inside."

She has no idea.

Shaking her head sadly, Erika brings herself back to the present. "I guess that's why. Women really are weak for that look, after all."

A quiet, sharp inhale comes from the chair across from him. Ritsu's figured it out. Dammit, all.

"But now you're able to smile sincerely. It fits you much more," Erika declares, lips turned up slightly.

Unwittingly, Masamune's eyes find themselves wandering towards Ritsu.  _That's all because of him._

Green eyes meet his for a moment, before quickly darting away. Already, Ritsu is having trouble looking at him.

Another heavy ball of guilt settles in Masamune's stomach.

Erika follows Masamune's line of sight, and her eyes land on Ritsu, who is only semi-successfully trying to hide his nervous fidgeting. "I see I've overstayed my welcome," she says, smiling at him apologetically. "I should go. I'm sorry for interrupting you."

Predictably, Ritsu tries to reassure her otherwise. "Oh, no! Really, it's fine," He raises his hands in front of him, palms facing outwards; as if to defend himself from her concern. He smiles.

It's pretty convincing, too. But Masamune knows him better than that by now, and he can tell that it's fake.

Amusement glitters in Erika's eyes, and she bows shortly to the both of them before straightening up. She sends one last wistful look Masamune's way before she goes. "The smile really does suit you, Takano," she says resolutely, turning around and walking, head held high, to whoever it is that's waiting for her these days.

Masamune watches her blonde hair disappear into the crowd. It may have been an awkward conversation, but he truly is relieved that she's moved on and seems happy now. She deserved much better than a wreck like him.

Speaking of awkward conversations and people that deserve better than him…

Ritsu won't look at him. Masamune tries to make eye contact, but it's no use; Ritsu's eyes are locked stubbornly on the floor. Previous experience tells that it will stay that way for a while.

And, to be fair, Masamune had expected this. He just has to give Ritsu a little time to process everything, but then, for whatever reason, he'll eventually just… move past it, and never bring it up again. It makes Masamune sick to say this, but that's how it plays out. Every single time.

That doesn't stop the whole thing from stinging, though.

* * *

The drive home is unbearably quiet.

Ritsu doesn't say a word to him as they leave their restaurant and walk to the car. The awkward silence that settles over them pains something in Masamune's chest. He can practically see the progress that's been made between them disappear, taking them all the way back to that time when Ritsu had desperately avoided him at all costs, and couldn't even stand to be in the same room as him; let alone confess his feelings. Yet, Masamune can't bring himself to break it. It's his fault, in the first place.

The silence doesn't dissipate even long after they've arrived home. And now, Masamune is in their bedroom, and Ritsu is brushing his teeth in the adjoining bathroom. There may not be much physical distance separating them, but Masamune has never felt further away from him. He  _hates_ it.

The water faucet turns off in the bathroom, and Ritsu softly closes the door. It's clear, by the way he nearly soundless pads across the floor, that he has no intention of disturbing the deafening silence that's taken hold of them any time soon. Slowly, he shifts the covers on his side of the bed over, and his weight barely causes a dip in the mattress as he settles in for the night. Tonight, he chooses to lay on his side, facing away from Masamune.

It's deliberate, Masamune notes with a sharp ache in his chest.

The sound of Ritsu's soft breathing is the only thing that can be heard for a long while.

Masamune tries to contain himself, but eventually, he snaps. He's always granted Ritsu however much solitude he needs after these episodes, but he can't take this damned suffocating noiseless anymore! "Ritsu," he says, watching Ritsu's shoulders tense as the silence is finally broken. "Do you have anything you want to say to me," he asks, urging Ritsu to talk, yell at him, to do  _anything._

Instead, all Ritsu does is turn his head ever so slightly upwards. Masamune still can't see his face, since it's turned towards the wall across from him. "There's nothing I particularly want to discuss," he says stiffly.

Masamune despises the formality in his voice. It reminds him too much of the days when Ritsu pushed him away over and over again, and he was still "Takano" instead of "Masamune".

"Goodnight," Ritsu says curtly, turning his head further away once again. If the pattern holds true, he'll act like none of this ever happened when the morning comes.

 _Yeah, no._  Masamune is sick of Ritsu bottling his feelings up. Ritsu, the one person in this screwed up world he would do absolutely anything to protect, has been hurt - _is_ hurting- because of stupid, irresponsible decisions Masamune had made without a care for the consequences, and that is  _not_ okay.

"Ritsu," Masamune says firmly, letting him know that this conversation is far from finished.

Ritsu's curled up figure tenses beside him yet again. "What is it now," he asks sorely.

Anger, entirely at himself for being the cause of all this, warms Masamune's blood. "Come on, don't play dumb. I _know_ you. You have to have  _something_ you want to ask me," he insists fiercely.

With a frustrated sigh, Ritsu finally turns over and sits up, pulling his knees protectively to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He still isn't looking at Masamune. His gaze is locked on their door, like he's planning to run away, again.

The sight of him almost literally sealing himself off hurts Masamune's chest. "Alright, out with it," he commands, leaving no room for argument in his tone. "I'll tell you anything you want to know, but you have to talk to me, Ritsu."

Ritsu's mouth opens and then closes. "I…" He cuts himself off, and another exasperated breath escapes him.

Masamune waits patiently, in spite of the tremor of apprehension that runs through his veins. Ritsu always flounders with his words when it comes time to talk about feelings, but when he finds them, Masamune will accept any insults, threats, or accusations he makes without complaint. He deserves every single one, and more, truthfully.

"Did… did you sleep with her?"

Well, that's not what Masamune had expected. No matter how many times they'd been faced with that kind of situation, Ritsu has never asked anything so bluntly before. It's not much, but for evasive, reserved Ritsu, it's a start. Guilt stabs Masamune in the stomach. Slowly, quietly, he takes a deep breath.  _Here we go. Time to finally talk about all this._

"Yes."

Ritsu inhales sharply.

Masamune braces himself for the worst. He'll handle any (rightfully earned) anger Ritsu throws at him without resistance.

But it never comes. "Okay," Ritsu says, voice a bit shaky. "Okay."

Masamune waits, but that's all that happens. Soon enough, that unbearable silence is threatening to descend back upon them. But like hell is he going to let it win, now that they're finally getting somewhere. "What else," he asks, refusing to let Ritsu retreat into himself.

Damned if Ritsu doesn't try his best, though. His jaw is set stubbornly, and it doesn't seem like he has any intention of opening it any time soon.

The thread holding together Masamune's patience comes  _dangerously_  close to breaking.  _"Ritsu."_

Ritsu cringes but still doesn't say a word.

The string snaps. " _Talk to me,"_ Masamune pleads. A bit of desperation leaks into his tone, but he can't be bothered about that right now. "I think we already did a pretty good job of establishing that we can't read each other's minds ten years ago," he says, pointedly sharp.

Ritsu flinches.

Masamune mentally curses himself.  _Okay, that was too far._  Bringing up the past in such an insensitive way was a low blow. He knows that. He also knows that arguing like this isn't going to get them anywhere. Ritsu, for how much of a stubborn ass he can be sometimes, is the most non-confrontational person he's ever met. He has to tread lightly if he doesn't want Ritsu to shut down completely. That was the wrong move.

Yet, somehow it works, though Ritsu still keeps his eyes attached to his knees. "I don't know what else you want me to say," he says, pressing his palm against his forehead in agitation.

There's a combination of helplessness and exhaustion in his voice that hurts something deep in Masamune's heart. "I want to know what you're thinking," he says, and despite the heaviness of the situation, he can't help but notice the light shade of pink that dusts across Ritsu's cheeks. But now Is not the time for that. "You always clam up when something like this happens, but we can't keep going this way. It can't be good for you, or us."

Ritsu's flush brightens slightly at the  _us,_ but it could just as easily be from anger as it could from embarrassment.

Masamune can't tell this time. Ritsu is hard to read when he wants to be. "So, we need to get this all out into the open, now, before it gets any worse than it already is," he declares. "I  _hate_ seeing you like this," he says, voice dropping to a low whisper. "And I hate the fact that it's my fault even more."

Ritsu looks up in surprise at that, and for a brief, tantalizing moment, Masamune catches a glimpse of emerald green before Ritsu's head turns back down and his eyes dart away once again. "It's… it isn't your fault," he says slowly. It's hard to tell if he's trying to choose his words carefully, or it he's just being even more hesitant than usual.

"What does that mean," Masamune implores urgently.

Ritsu's arms tighten around his knees, and his mouth stays stubbornly shut.

Frustration fills Masamune.  _"Ritsu,"_ he snaps, finally losing the last of his control.

Ritsu inhales sharply.  _"What,_  Masamune? What do you want me to do," he asks, voice nearly breaking from the strain it's under. "I don't understand what it is that you're looking for, from me," he says vehemently.

Masamune's entire body aches to reach out and touch Ritsu, but this conversation is one that's needed to happen for a long time. Plus, he hardly has the right to do such a thing, right now. "I want you to tell me what's on your mind," he starts, mentally urging Ritsu to look at him, but not backing down when he doesn't. "I want you to stop acting like you don't get upset when we run into someone I used to know like we did earlier."

Taking a chance, Masamune shifts an inch closer to Ritsu on the mattress. He takes it as a small victory when Ritsu tenses, but doesn't move away. "I want you to stop letting me get away with causing you any type of pain. I want you to talk, to get angry, to scream at me, to do  _something."_

"I'm not angry at you, though!" Ritsu's heated cheeks and furious voice contradict his claim. "I just… ugh!" He groans in frustration as he fumbles with his words, and starts wringing his hands together, most likely subconsciously.

" _You just,_ what?" Masamune prompts him urgently. Finally, they're getting somewhere.

"I'm… mad at myself, for being so unsettled every time this happens," Ritsu says, and every word seems like it's being ripped none-too-gently from the back of his throat.

Masamune's lungs catch.  _What?_ He's heard a lot of strange words slip out of his boyfriend's mouth, but it never ceases to surprise him.

"I mean," Ritsu's hands ball into loose fists around their blanket, "it's not as if you've done anything wrong," he says, like he's trying to reason with himself as much as Masamune. "There's no law against sleeping with people, or anything. You have done nothing wrong, I know that," he repeats firmly.

Masamune privately disagrees. Anything that makes Ritsu look and sound so pained like that is inexcusable; end of story. He's severely confused and highly concerned because he's not sure where Ritsu is planning on going with this, but he doesn't think he's going to like it very much.

"So  _why?"_ Ritsu's hands tremble ever so slightly at his sides as he finally,  _finally_  looks up and meets Masamune's gaze.

Masamune forgets how to breathe when he sees Ritsu's eyes.

"Why does it  _hurt_  like this," Ritsu demands desperately, clutching the fabric of his shirt over his chest.

Masamune's heart cracks, somewhere right down the center. Because the fierce fire that never stops blazing the forest behind Ritsu's eyes has been put out. Rain has snuffed that breathtaking spark of defiance, of joy, of life out. Now all that's left is a dull, deep-seated pain, frustrated anger, and a sharp, helpless confusion that cuts like glass. "Ritsu…" the quiet whisper falls from his tongue without his consent.

 _I did this._ Masamune realizes with a hot jolt of self-hatred. He, and no one else made Ritsu look like that. Nausea curls in his stomach, but Ritsu continues to speak before Masamune can say anything. Not that he knows what he could possibly say in this situation, even if he tried.

"Why do I get so damn  _jealous_ whenever I realize why it is that some random stranger has stopped you from across the room?"

Ritsu bites his bottom lip so hard Masamune worries that it may start to bleed.

"Why does it make me feel like I'm fifteen again, wondering why the hell you're going out with me when I'm so annoying?" Ritsu looks away again for a moment as he adds the last part in a whisper. "And disgusting." 

Masamune winces. Briefly, he's transported back in time, to their high school library, and seeing a younger version of Ritsu flinch when he'd called him that. He'd always regretted those words, from the second he'd said them in a fit of misplaced anger. They don't talk about that day much, but Masamune has a feeling that Ritsu has never quite forgiven him for saying such foul things. But that's okay; he hasn't forgiven himself, either. He'd cut Ritsu deeply with his words, that day. It's only fair that he finally gets to return the favor, now.

Ritsu takes a deep, ragged breath, and then meets Masamune's eyes again. "I know you slept around in college, and I know you stopped when we met again, right?"

There's a note of uncertainty in his voice that makes the crack in Masamune's heart widen. Firmly, he nods in agreement. "The second I recognized you," he confirms solemnly. "I've already said, but no matter who I was with, I could never forget you." It was kind of scary, honestly, or maybe just sad, back then, how many times had deluded himself into imagining that his conquest for the evening had bright green eyes.

Ritsu's shoulders slump in relief for half a second, before tensing right back up again. "You've said that before," he recalls absently. "And I believe you. But I still…" He trails off as his words falter, and once again fail him.

Masamune wants to tell him that that's enough; that he doesn't have to force himself to keep talking if he doesn't want to. But this needs to be said now, or it never will be.

"Seeing those people, I started noticing a while ago that they all had something in common."

Masamune's forehead creases in confusion. He'd never noticed anything like that.

Ritsu laughs; a tired, pitifully short thing that hurts to listen to. "You really didn't notice," he says, the corners of his mouth turning up wryly.

"Not a thing." Masamune shakes his head.

"Well, then," Ritsu says, dryly amused. "I think I found out your secret type before you did."

"Huh?" Masamune has no idea what he's talking about.

Ritsu sighs. "I thought it was a fluke at first, but every single one of your-" he hesitates. "Exes, I guess."

Masamune frowns, but he can't think of anything else to call them that isn't downright rude.

"They didn't look too similar, physically, but they all had this air of…" He waves his hand through the air as if he were trying to bring the words into existence. "Confidence. Man, woman, hair color, it didn't matter. I could tell just by looking at them that they were confident people." A slow breath of what sounds like defeat escapes him. "Which we both know, I am definitely not."

Masamune is really starting to hate that small, fake laugh Ritsu does.

"And so, every I see that you've been with a person like that," Ritsu begins quietly. "I just… instantly go back to being fifteen years old, wondering when you're going to wake up, and realize that you can do so much better than me," he confesses. "But I know how needy and dumb that makes me sound, so I can't say anything, he continues. Self-deprecation and a tinge of bitterness leak into his voice as his fingers curl and dig into his palms. "Because it's hardly your fault that you kept living your life your own way after we split up ten years ago. If anything,  _I'm_  the weird one for being so inexperienced with relationships that I freak out whenever something like that happens."

An icy shard is driven into the crack in Masamune's heart.

Ritsu's eyes drift away once again, and now he speaks to the top of his knees. "Anyway, that's all," he says almost casually. "I know it's ridiculous, don't remind me."

Masamune feels sick. Another stab of pain hits him in the chest.

A dark, humorless smile forms on Ritsu's lips when the silence lasts too long. "Geez, I'm being annoying again, about all of this, aren't I?" A noise that could either be a laugh or a cut off sob escapes him. "Sorry." His shoulders slump with fatigue.

The icy shard is driven further, until Masamune's heart finally cracks completely in two. He can say with ease that by has never been more disgusted with himself than he is right now. He is responsible for the exhaustion in Ritsu's voice, and for the defeat in his shoulders. How long has Ritsu been keeping quiet about this?

 _Probably since the first time we came across one of the people you slept with while trying to forget him,_ he realizes with dawning horror.

Yeah, Masamune has royally fucked up this time. "Ritsu..." Tentatively, he reaches out and places a hand on top of Ritsu's. "I'm sorry." He half expects Ritsu to smack it away, or tense up at least. That's probably what Masamune would do if he were in Ritsu's position.

But Ritsu doesn't. Because of course he doesn't; he's a goddamn  _angel._ "Why? I already said: you didn't do anything wrong."

Masamune shakes his head. "No, don't try to defend me when I'm the one that hurt you," he says sternly.

Ritsu looks at him, and the complete and utter  _tiredness_ in his eyes hurts worse than words can describe. He opens his mouth, probably to protest, but Masamune doesn't let him.

"Stop denying it. You know it's true," Masamune proclaims, not leaving any room for Ritsu to argue in his voice. "I know it doesn't mean much, especially with it being so late, but Ritsu," he pauses to gently lift both of Ritsu's hands away from where they're locked around his knees, and carefully lace their fingers together. "I'm  _sorry."_

Ritsu's breath hitches. "Stop apologizing already," he commands weakly. "It's not your fault that I can't keep these stupid, irritating,  _childish_ feelings under control-"

Fury warms Masamune's blood. "No," he protests brutally.

Ritsu jolts at the sudden shout.

Masamune curses himself one more time. How many times is he going to fuck up, today? "Stop shifting the blame to yourself," he requests, much quieter now. "No matter what you say, it won't change the fact that all of this  _is_ my fault."

Ritsu's jaw tenses in a heartbreakingly lackluster copy of his usual defiant scowl.

Another blow to Masamune's heart. "Hey," he murmurs. "Look at me? Please," he pleads.

Reluctantly, Ritsu turns his head ever so slightly, until he and Masamune are making eye contact once again. Unthinkingly, Masamune finds himself tightening the grip he has on Ritsu's startlingly small hands.

It hits him, then, how it would be so,  _so_ easy for those hands to slip out of his grasp and disappear into thin air, just like they had ten years ago. And this time, Masamune would have nobody to blame but himself, for being so painfully stupid. Disgust with himself curdles in his stomach at the memory of how horribly he'd handled everything back in his youth (and honestly up until he was twenty-eight years old, and a stubborn, loudmouthed rookie had stumbled into his department), while Ritsu had never even tried to drown himself in questionable company the way he had, no matter that he was hurting just as much as Masamune.

Masamune is only too aware that he has already lost Ritsu once, thanks to poor timing and thoughtless actions. The mere idea of that happening  _again,_ of him pushing Ritsu too far, and over the edge, terrifies him straight to his core.

 _Never again will I let it slide if my bad choices cause him pain,_ he vows silently. He has a feeling it won't be a difficult promise to keep. It truly amazes him, now, to imagine how idiotic he must have been to have made himself believe that any amount of meaningless hookups could have ever been enough to make him forget the fact that his heart only beats for Ritsu Onodera.

"I was a  _mess_ before you found your way back into my life." Masamune does not recall his life  _post-Ritsu_  with any sort of fondness. "I drank too much, I stopped caring about my grades, and I took home anyone who was unlucky enough to have crossed my path that night. I honestly think I would be dead if Yokozawa hadn't dragged me home more than a few times," he admits somberly.

A bit of horror clouds Ritsu's eyes, but he nods, wordlessly prompting Masamune to continue.

Masamune obliges him. "But do not think for  _one second,_ that even though I lost myself in that dark place I dug myself into, that I  _ever_ stopped loving you, or wishing that you were back at my side," he orders firmly.

Ritsu's eyes widen, and a shaky breath leaves him.

It's such a familiar, but no less beloved expression. A single stitch is placed on the tear in Masamune's heart. "I did make irrational,  _stupid_ decisions that I wound up regretting; I'm not denying that. Especially now that it's hurting you." A tinge of bitterness sneaks into his tone at that. "But it is all on  _me._ Not you. If anyone is in the wrong here, I'm the one that should be ashamed for being a dumbass and trying to ignore the fear that I would never see you again in all the wrong ways."

Ritsu's eyes are glimmering with what appears to be awe, and it almost looks like he's going to cry.

God, Masamune hopes not. If he makes Ritsu cry on top of everything else he's done he will scream. "Nobody in this entire, messed up world could make me feel the way I do about you, and nobody ever will. You're  _it_  for me, Ritsu," he confesses, brushing a stray lock of hair out of where it's fallen into Ritsu's eye. "You have been since the day I noticed you stalking me from behind that bookcase." Picking Ritsu's hand back up, he drops a kiss on the back of Ritsu's knuckles.

Ritsu's face reddens. "Forget about that already, I was never a stalker," he insists weakly.

He's too adorable. It takes a lot of willpower for Masamune to stop himself from kissing him. So he doesn't.

Ritsu's breath shudders in surprise, but otherwise, he doesn't resist as Masamune squeezes his hand and gently cups the side of his face to tilt it upwards. When Masamune eventually deigns to pull away, Ritsu's eyes are still closed, and his cheeks are glowing in a fierce blush.

"I love you, Ritsu."

Ritsu shivers, and his eyes open slowly. "You-" his voice is hoarse, so he clears it before speaking again. "You're  _it_ for me, too, you know," he admits barely above a murmur. "Even if you drive me completely insane most of the time."

Masamune snorts at that. He can't help it. Ritsu claiming that  _he's_ the one that gets driven insane by Masamune, when Ritsu's responsible for each time Masamune's heart goes wildly out of control is too funny. 

"So just... don't forget that," Ritsu orders. But the genuine, pleading sincerity in his voice cancels out any true strictness he'd been trying to pull off.

"Never." Masamune promises anyway.

Ritsu's cheeks darken, and he looks away from Masamune again. This time, however, it's because of his usual shyness, and not the pained inability to look Masamune in the eyes like it had been earlier. "G-good." He nods firmly. 

 _Freaking adorable._ As always, something so simple is what makes the last shred of Masamune's self-control vanish, and he can't resist pulling Ritsu back in for another kiss.

Masamune will never know how he got so lucky as to earn Ritsu's frankly undeserved forgiveness yet again. He said it already, but Ritsu really is some kind of angel; there's no other explanation. He hadn't known how deeply his past, self-harmful decisions had affected Ritsu, but he really should have. Ritsu may keep up his stubborn, fiercely untouchable facade up most of the time, but Masamune knows better than anyone that it's just that: a facade.

Making another silent promise to himself, Masamune vows right then and there to never let Ritsu forget that he means everything and more in the world to Masamune. That, even when he'd lost himself in that dark, hopeless place that not even Yokozawa could completely save him from, Ritsu had been the light to guide him out of it. He also vows to never allow Ritsu to think, even for a second, that he could possibly be compared in any way to the "exes" that never held a candle to his burning flame.

Ritsu always acts so confident and self-assured, that it's easy sometimes, to forget that he wears his heart -damaged by none other than Masamune himself- on his sleeve. Masamune won't remake that mistake.

_Never again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W O W. That ending (and this whole chapter in general tbh) is Bad.™ Oh well. Ugh, these idiots kill me with their cheesiness. Help.
> 
> P.S- Okay!!! Now that I've gotten this out of my system I R E A L L Y need to take a short break from writing so that I can finish this stupid research paper and study for finals. I'll try not to stay gone too long, I promise!
> 
> P.P.S- And can somebody please explain to me why I can write 6k words a week on average for a fanfic but I can't manage 1.8k for an important assignment that I've known about for like three months??? Asking for a friend.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A New Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all asked for it. I'm just here to deliver. Consider this my Christmas present to you all. Also: thank you guys *so* much for voting, it really meant a lot and gave me the motivation I needed to finish this. 
> 
> P.S- Happy belated birthday to my actual husband Masamune Takano!!!! Love you, babe!!!
> 
> P.P.S- Merry Christmas, everybody!!!!!!!! I hope that every one of you is having a fantastic holiday!!!

"For the  _last_ time: if you would just tell your dumbass of a boss to get his head out of his fucking ass for three seconds, maybe we would stop ending up in this situation Every. Goddamn. Month!"

"For the  _last_ time: quit doing your job in such a half-assed manner, and the same result will be achieved!"

"What did you just say!?" Masamune Takano is uncaffeinated, running on less than four hours of sleep, and three seconds away from murdering somebody.

"You heard me." Takafumi Yokozawa is, coincidentally, three seconds away from getting murdered. Brutally. "We wouldn't be in this mess,  _again,_ if you weren't such a spineless pushover!"

" _Excuse me?!"_ Oh, that's it. Yokozawa has  _done it_ now. Say whatever you want about Masamune, but do  _not_ insult his ability to do his job. "I will  _not_ allow  _you_ and your bosses incompetence to be pinned on me," he spits venomously. "Especially not when I  _told_ you that this would happen, but you didn't listen to me."

The new hires and borrowed interns who were unfortunate enough to find themselves on this floor today watch on in fascinated horror as they learn the reason for Yokozawa's nickname of "The Wild Horse". Meanwhile, Hatori, Kisa, and Mino merely sigh exasperatedly. They, unfortunately, already know that Yokozawa -the only one in all of Marukawa who has the courage to defy the Demon Editor-in-chief so openly- has no fear of dying.

Yet it is Ritsu Onodera who sighs the heaviest of the group. Dammit all, can't those two go be a nuisance somewhere else? Ms. Mutou is waiting for the edits of her storyboard to be returned, but he, her  _editor,_  can hardly concentrate with all this racket going on around him! If they don't pipe down within the next ten seconds, he is more than willing to throw his laptop at them, and he doesn't particularly care which man it hits.

Yokozawa scoffs darkly. "There you go again, blaming your lazy, careless mistakes on other people," he chides. "How long are you going to keep doing such a thing?"

Yup, its official: Masamune's gonna kill him. Anger boils his blood and warms his skin as he violently stands up from his desk. The glue holding together the last of his patience has long melted away. "Yokozawa," he bites slowly; warningly.

Everybody unused to their antics all freeze, and shiver in fear as they get their first glance at his Demon Side, and even the members of the Emerald Department shudder slightly. Except for Ritsu, who simply rolls his eyes.

"You have a lot of nerve, barging into  _my_ department and spewing such utter bullshit," Masamune says, cold as ice, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Yokozawa darkly. The guy may be his best friend, but he's an idiot if he thinks that Masamune is going to let this slide.

Yokozawa meets Masamune's glare head-on with a scowl of his own. Drawing in a breath, he opens his mouth to no-doubt spout even more nonsense.

Masamune can't wait to see how far he'll shove his foot into his mouth this time. Sadly, he never gets to see Yokozawa make even more of an ass out of himself than usual.

The scraping of a chair against the tile floor drags both Yokozawa's and Masamune's attention away from their inevitable shouting match as somebody else stands up. Someone touches his shoulder; a ghost of a feeling of fingertips that only lasts an instant. Masamune's rage abruptly cools to a milder confusion when he sees just who's decided to intervene in their "conversation".

"Excuse me, Mr. Yokozawa," Ritsu says, polite words disguising the hard edge to his tone that catches Masamune off guard with how uncharacteristic it is of his respectful, non-confrontational boyfriend. "If I recall correctly, Takano  _did_ request a higher printing in the planning meeting last week, but your boss said no," he reminds Yokozawa pointedly.

The  _again_ goes unsaid, but Masamune can hear it loud and clear.

"I know you saw how hard he fought, just like he always does," Ritsu says firmly.

Yokozawa's aggravation also vanishes briefly, as he blinks in shock at Ritsu's unexpected bout of boldness.

Masamune can relate. He can easily say that he would have never imagined that  _Ritsu_  would stand up to Yokozawa, or anyone honestly, to defend him. Not that he's complaining one bit about it, though. Quite the opposite, in fact. Ritsu's rare display of courage towards Yokozawa on Masamune's behalf is… how does he put this tactfully? Fuck it, it's  _really_  damn hot. A sudden wave of heat warms Masamune's cheeks, and he has to fight the urge to fan his face.

"It's not his fault that he was outnumbered in the vote of how many copies needed to be ordered," Ritsu continues in a no-nonsense way.

Now, the irritation returns to Yokozawas face, and his lips twist back downwards into a grimace.

Masamune knows that look; it means Yokozawa is about to blow a gasket.

It seems that the rest of the room's occupants can sense it as well because a tense silence has settled over them. Everybody is pretending to be absorbed in their own tasks while actually eagerly watching all of this unfold.

Hatori has halted his phone conversation, Mino is no longer typing away at his laptop as he had been earlier, and Kisa has even closed his own laptop and is now openly listening to the entertainment with rapt attention.

But Ritsu either doesn't notice or doesn't care because he carries on without a pause. "But even if it was his fault, which it isn't," he says matter-of-factly, "he would own up to it and find a way to fix it because that's his job."

Yokozawa's jaw clenches dangerously. "Hey, watch your tone," he commands sharply. "You are on  _very_ thin ice," he informs Ritsu brusquely.

Masamune is not pleased with that. Best friend or otherwise, he  _will_ deck Yokozawa if he keeps talking to Ritsu like that. Yokozawa  _knows_ this.

Ritsu dips his head into a shallow bow. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean any offense," he claims hastily.

Somehow, Masamune highly doubts that. He has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, and he sees Kisa doing the same out of the corner of his eye.

"I just think that your time and energy would be better spent ordering new copies from the Printers, instead of here, yelling at someone who can't do anything about it and  _distracting everybody else from their work,_ right?" Ritsu's words are reasonable, and his tone sounds polite enough to someone who doesn't know him well, but Masamune can see right through the well-mannered facade.

As somebody who has become expertly fluent in  _Ritsu-ese_ over the years, allow Masamune to translate:  _Shut the fuck up and go clean up the mess you made so that I can concentrate._ Or something like that. (Alright,  _maybe_ he's paraphrasing here, just a bit, but that's the gist of it.)

Masamune no longer bothers trying to hide his snickering as an angry shade of red dusts over Yokozawa's cheeks. He's backed himself into a corner, and he knows damn well that Ritsu is absolutely right, and there's not a thing he can do about it.  _Serves him right._

"I suppose you're right," Yokozawa grumbles through clenched teeth.

Masamune is extremely proud of his boyfriend at this moment.

Sadly, Yokozawa's cell phone rings before he gets the chance to dig his own grave any deeper. He answers it, but not before sending Masamune a withering, irritated glare.

Masamune pretends to clutch his chest as if he's been wounded, simply because he knows that it will annoy Yokozawa even further.

It works better than he'd hoped, and he not only gets the pleasure of seeing Yokozawa flip him off with an annoyed scowl on his face, but also of hearing Ritsu groan in exasperation and mutter something about Masamune being "the most childish twenty-eight-year-old man to walk the face of the earth"; a title Masamune is quite fond of.

Yokozawa sighs heavily and rolls his eyes as he brings the phone to his ear. Whoever called him must be in an absolute panic, considering that Masamune can hear the agitated, mile a minute chatter from where he's standing.

 _Another emergency. What a surprise._ How this publishing company has not fallen apart yet, Masamune has no idea.

Whatever the stressed sounding person on the other end says must be pretty bad, since it causes Yokozawa's eyes to widen abruptly in an unusually open expression of alarm. Listening intently for a few minutes, he brings his hand to his head and begins rubbing a deep crease that's formed in his forehead. Still on the phone, he spins on his heel, whispering furious curses under his breath as he dashes off, most likely back to his own department.

_This magazine is doomed._

Apparently, everyone determines that the show is now over, as they all return their attention back to the work they were doing before Yokozawa barged in and caused a ruckus. The newbies and interns are once again bustling about, getting more flustered by the second as the things demanded of them increase. Masamune spares a measure of pity for their poor, not yet corrupted souls. It's only a matter of time.

His own team is guilty as well. Mino's and Kisa's laptops have been reopened, and they're typing away furiously like they'd never stopped. He would very much like to know how in the world they do that, one day. And Hatori is right back to yelling threats at his notoriously uncooperative author. Poor Yoshikawa.

Ritsu exhales slowly and his shoulders slump in relief the second Yokozawa is no longer in sight.

"That was incredible, Rittie!" Kisa's enthusiastic shout is only given once he's discretely scanned the room to ensure that Yokozawa is no longer within earshot. Mino nods in agreement, and Hatori probably would as well if he weren't still on the phone, scolding his author.

"You kept admirably calm in the face of the "wild horse". I would have panicked, for sure," Mino praises Ritsu.

"Oh, no, that was nothing special," Ritsu brushes off the compliments nonchalantly, but he can't hide the way his cheeks begin to flush in embarrassment. "I just wanted him to leave so that I could actually focus on my work," he says, scratching the side of his neck sheepishly.

It's horribly endearing, and Masamune's usual desire to drag him off into an uninhabited conference room and kiss him senseless increases tenfold.  _Wait a second, wasn't room three empty, earlier?_ A vague plot begins to take form in his mind. Unfortunately, before he gets the opportunity to act on his impulse, Ritsu's phone rings.

Ritsu curses. "I thought I put this thing on silent," he complains, drawing it out of his front pocket. It's clear that he intends to cut the sound off and stow it back away, but that's not what happens. Instead, his eyes wander a bit too far and widen when they catch a glimpse of the caller id. A small, disbelieving gasp escapes his lips.

Curiosity instantly overtakes Masamune at Ritsu's strange reaction to whoever is calling him, but before he can ask who it is, or sneak a peek at the screen, Ritsu covers it with his hand.

"Sorry, I have to take this. I'll be right back," Ritsu promises profusely as he practically vanishes into thin air in his haste to exit the room.

Masamune blinks, then he frowns. Once again, he is not pleased. That was certainly not normal behavior for Ritsu. Even Kisa and Mino are looking at the now vacant spot Ritsu had just been standing in with bewilderment.

"That was weird," Kisa comments unnecessarily, eyes shifting to the door Ritsu had just left through.

Masamune agrees wholeheartedly.

Kisa and Mino exchange a quick, questioning look, but ultimately they shrug and refocus their energy to getting the manuscripts in front of them properly edited. "He'll be back soon, I'm sure," Mino says knowingly. "Onodera isn't the type to take too long with a personal call while he's at work," he says sagely, his regular serene smile reappearing on his face as he dives back into his woefully large pile of work.

Masamune knows that he's right, for the record. Ritsu is much too good an employee for things like allowing personal phone calls to drag on. That was never a question. Plus, he really can't afford to be so distracted by a most likely insignificant phone call, when he needs to be getting back to his own work now. Yokozawa's "visit" has thrown him off schedule. There's no time for him to waste staring daggers at the door until Ritsu walks back through it, nor is there a need for him to do so. And yet...

 _No. It was just a phone call,_ he reasons with himself firmly. Nothing to be worried about. He is perfectly capable of sitting here and waiting patiently for Ritsu to finish with whatever it is he's doing and return to the office.

He  _is!_

Is he  _actually_  going to do that, though?

_Absolutely not._

* * *

Ritsu's heart is racing when the door of… whatever thankfully empty room he's found himself in closes behind him. Judging by the circular, wooden table standing proudly in the middle of the tiled floor and the uncomfortable looking chairs surrounding it, it's a conference room. But he's hardly worried about those kinds of minor details right now, only that he's glad nobody else is in sight. His hands fumble with his cell phone as he attempts to answer it.

' _I can't believe she actually called back,'_ he thinks to himself incredulously. Yet, there her name is on his screen, clear as day.

_Kotoko Saga._

Yes,  _that_ Kotoko Saga; the one that just so happens to be Masamune's birth mother. Now, it may be recalled that Ritsu and Kotoko had started off on the wrong foot, to say the least, and they had never found themselves on the right one. So, why the hell was her name now flashing across the screen of Ritsu's phone?

That's easy: It's all Masamune's fault, of course. Why does his birthday have to be coming up so soon, dammit?

' _The things I do for that idiot,'_ Ritsu huffs, irked at himself. Regardless, he knows that he's taking too long and that the phone will stop ringing any second, and if he misses this call he's reasonably sure he won't be able to find the courage or desire to call back, so he really doesn't have a choice.  _'Please let this be a short conversation,'_ he begs no one in particular as he accepts the call and brings the phone to his ear.

"H-hello?" Ritsu curses the traitorous stutter in his voice, and quickly takes the phone away as far as possible and clears his throat nervously. Sparing a brief, fruitless hope that she managed to temporarily go deaf for exactly those three seconds, he brings the phone back to his ear. "This is Ritsu Onodera."

' _Yes, no stutter this time!'_ Ritsu silently cheers.

His internal celebration is cut short, however, at the dryly amused exhale of air on the other end. "I am aware," Kotoko says simply, somehow packing an absurd amount of condescension into barely three words. "I'm only calling this number because I received your message," she says dismissively.

Ritsu takes a deep breath and counts to ten before letting it back out. God, he forgot how much this woman infuriates him. "Well, thank you for doing so. I won't take up too much of your time," he assures her, barely keeping the barbed irritation out of his voice.

' _This had better work.'_ Ritsu will be  _pissed_ if he suffers this inevitably awkward and humiliating conversation for nothing.

"Well then, by all means," Kotoko says, cool and collected in a manner that makes Ritsu both envy her composure and despise it. "I must say, I'm quite intrigued about what it is that's made you so desperate to seek out  _my_ attention."

Oh, and she's arrogant, too. Why isn't Ritsu surprised? Yeah, Kotoko is definitely Masamune's mother. He brings the hand not holding the phone up and presses it firmly against his forehead. Unsurprisingly, it does little to alleviate the headaches that he now has.  _'It's for Masamune, it's for Masamune, it's for Masamune,'_ he reminds himself adamantly.

That thought is enough to make Ritsu grit his teeth and bear it as he takes the hand away from his head and brings it back down to his side, where his fingers curl into his palms. "As I'm sure you already know, the twenty-fourth is next week," he begins, and if Kotoko shows no sign of understanding the significance of that date, he's going to scream.

Thankfully, it doesn't come to that. "Yes, I am well aware that my son's birthday is coming up," Kotoko says coldly, displeased with the implication that she could be oblivious to such an important fact.

Ritsu breathes a quiet sigh of relief.

"So? What is this about," Kotoko asks impatiently. "I know you didn't call just to remind me of something like that."

"Of course not." Ritsu's fingers twitch. This woman is positively  _insufferable._  Maybe he should just drop this whole thing now, and quit while he's ahead. This was a terrible idea. What the hell had possessed him to make him ever think that this would work?

' _But it would make Masamune happy,'_ a small, quiet corner of Ritsu's mind whispers hopefully. And in the end, that's all that matters. Against every single one of his most powerful instincts, he bites his tongue and swallows his pride. 'Never  _let it be said that I don't do anything nice for him.'_

"I wanted to ask you for a favor."

A surprised hum flows into Ritsu's ear from the phone. "Oh, really now," Kotoko says, a bit of superiority leaking into her tone. "And what might that be?"

Ritsu's stomach churns distastefully at Kotoko's aggravatingly conceited personality. He doesn't like it, to put it nicely, but for this, he doesn't have to. ' _For Masamune,'_ that small voice in his mind, that is honestly much better than himself reminds him once more. And if it were for any other reason, Ritsu would tell that voice to shove it, but that's the one thing he can't argue with. Masamune deserves… so much, if not the entire world, that Ritsu can't give him. But this is at least one small thing he can do. Plus, he'll be damned if this doesn't pay off after all this trouble!

With that in mind, he takes a deep breath to gather what little courage he usually has at one time. "If you have any plans or appointments that day," he begins, proud when his voice comes out confident and firm. "I want you to cancel them."

There's a tense, staticy silence between them for a moment, and Ritsu's stomach twists itself into a nervous knot.  _"Excuse me?"_  Kotoko finally breaks the uncomfortable, deafening quiet.

"Cancel them.  _All_ of them." Ritsu repeats himself since Kotoko has apparently spontaneously gone deaf.

Kotoko laughs once, incredulously. "And why in the world would I do that," she demands peevishly.

Ritsu doesn't miss a beat. "Because you and Masamune are going to have lunch together," he informs her, just as peeved, and probably more so than she is.

Kotoko falls silent again, but this time it's more because of shock than irritation. "What?"

Ritsu internally groans. For goodness sake, is he going to have to spell it out for her? She's a  _lawyer;_  isn't she supposed to be smart? "That's my favor. Any other plans you have on the twenty-fourth that aren't life or death? Get rid of them."

Kotoko, surprisingly, doesn't scoff and him and hang up the phone right then and there like he'd half expected her to.

Ritsu tentatively takes that as a good sign. "I want you to sit down, and have one meal with him. No cell phones, no distractions, no 'emergencies at work'," he lists off, hoping she can hear the sarcasm in his voice at that last part. The fact that this is even something he has to request makes his stomach churn unpleasantly. "Just the two of you."

' _For once,'_ he doesn't say.

But the slightly guilty noise that emits from Kotoko's end of the phone tells him that she heard it anyway. "And why would you ever want me to do that? If my memory serves, you don't particularly like me much," she points out gruffly.

' _Oh, you have no idea.'_

"I'll admit that I don't really care for you," Ritsu confirms. "But you're Masamune's mother, so I'm sure I'll get over it." Masamune is so,  _so_ much more important to Ritsu than holding onto a petty grudge against this nearly intolerable woman. "And this is about  _him._ Not me, or you, or anything else. Okay?"

Kotoko Saga is, for the first time Ritsu can recall, stunned speechless.

Ritsu takes the golden opportunity presented to him to say something he's wanted to for a long time, to Masamune's mother. "You didn't see the face he made the first time he told me why he was spending his birthday and the holidays alone, but I did, and I  _never_  want to see it again." His throat aches and his chest twinges painfully at the awful memory of what he privately refers to as 'The Horrifyingly Silent Car Ride.'

A few bitter crumbs of information dropped here and there that were almost brushed away before they could be pieced together. He'd looked weary, isolated, defeated; everything Masamune Takano isn't, and should never be.

Ritsu shakes himself back to the present. He won't let Masamune make that face ever again if he has anything to say about it. "Still, he is ridiculously stubborn," he says, trying not to feel like too much of a hypocrite. "So if you're waiting for him to reach out and be the one who starts making amends, then I hate to break it to you, but you'll be waiting for a long time."

The lack of response from Kotoko is enough to tell Ritsu that she agrees.

"That's why I'm doing this," Ritsu tells her. "Not because I think that you, in any way, deserve to be given a second chance with him." He almost wants to laugh at hearing something so blatantly untrue. If it were up to him, he would never let Kotoko within one hundred feet of Masamune. It's not up to him, though, and he can accept that. But that doesn't mean he has to like it. "It's because he deserves to have a parent that can turn of their phone for thirty minutes to have lunch with their son."

Kotoko winces. She wants to argue and defend herself, he can tell, but even the esteemed lawyer can find nothing to dispute his words.

"Well? Do we have a deal?" Ritsu needs to get back to work soon. He's already been gone for too long. Masamune is bound to get suspicious and start looking for him at some point.

Yet it seems that Kotoko has decided that she still hasn't tested his very limited patience enough for one day. "You know he'll never agree to that, especially if you're expecting me to ask him to this lunch you're so adamant about," she says sensibly.

She's right, of course. Masamune would sooner write poetry about Yokozawa's nonexistent sales strategies than go to lunch with Kotoko. But coming from her, it sounds more like an excuse than a reason, and right now Ritsu doesn't want either of those things; he wants a  _yes._ "Don't worry about that part, I'll take care of it," he promises. "You just have to say yes first." His hand tightens around the phone at the thought of what he'll do if she says no.

Luckily, she makes the right choice, this time. "Okay, then," Kotoko finally agrees. "Tell me where to be and when, and I'll be waiting."

Ritsu closes his eyes briefly, and his shoulders slump as the tension drains from his body.  _'Thank goodness.'_

A few seconds pass before Kotoko speaks again. "I need to get going," she says, much to Ritsu's dismay. (Not.)

"Okay," Ritsu agrees quickly, and already it feels easier to breathe. "I'll message you the time and place later this evening," he says. He'll send it twice, three times if he has to. He won't give her a single opportunity to change her mind or claim that she never received the information, later. He begins taking the phone away from his ear, but muffled words cause him to halt in his tracks, and bring it back.

Kotoko may have said something else, but the only part Ritsu hears is: "Will you answer one question of mine first, though?"

The tension immediately returns to Ritsu's shoulders. He doesn't like the way she asked that. There's something in her voice that puts him on edge. Besides her general, anxiety causing aura, that is. "What is it," he asks guardedly. He would just hang up, but he doesn't want to risk upsetting her and causing her to back out of their deal.

' _For Masamune,'_ that irritating mantra replays in his head.  _'Shut up, I know already,'_ Ritsu tells it.

Kotoko begins talking again, and Ritsu is actually grateful for it as it pulls him out of his argument… with himself. "I still don't understand any of this," she says, sounding nearly as vexed as he feels.

Ritsu mentally sighs.  _'Here we go.'_

If you dislike me as much as you say, and truly think I'm so  _unworthy_ of my son,"Kotoko starts sarcastically. "Then why are you going so far out of your way to have us spend time together? It doesn't make sense."

Ritsu opens his mouth to fire back some snappy retort, but then pauses. He hates to admit it, but Kotoko… actually has a good point. Why  _is_ he doing this? By all accounts, he should, and does, want Kotoko as far away from Masamune as possible. So why is he trying so hard to do this?

An image of his own parents disapproving faces flashes across his mind.

' _Oh.'_ Ritsu's realization comes with a stab of pain in his chest, located right over the tiny round scar buried deep into his skin. _'That's why.'_

He hasn't spoken to or heard a word from his parents in ages. And maybe it's just because the holidays are looming around the corner, and for the first time in his life he probably won't be invited to their big, Christmas family get together this year, (not that he would go if he was. He would  _much_  rather spend the day with Masamune) but a small part of him, well,  _misses_ them, in spite of everything.

Now, how can he possibly manage to explain such a thing to someone like Kotoko?

Ritsu's not sure, either. But he's still willing to try. Ugh, he should have hung up when he had the chance. Masamune is  _damn_ lucky he loves him enough to deal with not one, but two awkward conversation topics in less than twenty minutes. Taking a deep breath in, he steals himself. "Because," he says, the words leaving a bittersweet taste in his mouth. "At least one of us should be on speaking terms with their parents. And there's no way it can be me, so you're our only hope," he tells her bluntly.

Another silence, this one too heavy and  _knowing_ to bear is the only response.

Ritsu takes that as his cue to leave. "I have to go, but I just want to make one more thing clear, first," he says, spine straightening as he musters up all of his resolve.

A questioning hum tells him that Kotoko is listening.

Good. Because Ritsu will only say this once. "I  _am_ helping you with this, but the rest is up to him, and you. I'm giving you one chance." And she's honestly lucky he's giving her the benefit of the doubt for even that much. "But if you blow it, and hurt him  _again,_ there won't be any more opportunities like this," he promises gravely. "And not that this probably means much, but I'll never forgive you either if you mess this up."

A displeased sound comes from Kotoko, but she must be able to sense Ritsu's sincerity. "Understood," she agrees reluctantly.

The tightness in Ritsu's chest eases. "Good. Then that's all I have to say," he declares, ready to be done with this whole conversation.

Kotoko has other plans, though. "You really love him, don't you?" Her question is asked almost disbelievingly.

Ritsu's cheeks warm, but more out of habit than anything else at this point. Usually, he would stumble around with his words for at least ten minutes while trying to get his out of control heart beat before finally saying yes, but it's surprisingly easy for him to answer that question today. "Of course I do," he says, and with that, he ends the call.

His heart is still pounding wildly, so he presses his hand to his chest in an attempt to calm it down. Of course, he loves Masamune. It may have taken him a long time to be able to say it again, but that never made it stop being true. He's been hopelessly in love with him since he was fifteen, and that's why he wants so desperately for Kotoko to be able to be a decent human being for an hour and start to mend things with Masamune.

But he meant what he said: Kotoko gets one shot. There will be no more help from him if she misses it.

Worrying about it won't help anything, but he's still going to do it. For now, though, all he can do is wait. Shaking his head to clear it, he forces himself to stop acting like a worried, lovestruck fool (even though he is) and get back to his work.

His pounding heart stops in his chest and he yelps when the door opens at the same time he reaches for the doorknob.

"There you are," Masamune sighs exasperatedly, stepping into the room, and noticeably into Ritsu's personal space. As always, he smells like paper and cigarette smoke; a combination that shouldn't be as intoxicating as it is.

Instinctively, Ritsu takes a step back. He'd like to be able to think clearly today, thank you very much, and his brain never works properly when Masamune comes too close.

Masamune knows this, but he takes another step forward anyway. His lips are curled downwards into a displeased frown. "Why the hell are you so good at disappearing without a trace," he asks unhappily.

' _Why are_ you  _so good at materializing out of thin air?'_ Ritsu silently retorts. He's noticed by now that Masamune has an uncanny ability to know where he is at all times. It's very strange and highly suspicious. He makes a mental note to be sure and check all of his clothes for tracking devices, later.

Right now, though, he doesn't have time for that. "Uh, sorry?" His heart jumps back to a start as the door closes behind Masamune with a soft  _click._ "Wait a minute, how did you even know I was in here?" His back hits the wall. There's nowhere for him to run. Not that he wants to, anymore.

Just in case, Masamune takes one step closer. "You are not a quiet person." He shrugs.

Irritation heats Ritsu's skin and he fumes. If he didn't love Masamune so much, he would kill him. Any words of protest are quickly silenced, however, when Masamune's hands find a spot on the wall in either side of his body, and his arms form a cage around him.

His face warms as Masamune leans in until they're practically nose to nose. "Who were you on the phone with?" He asks his question quietly, but there's a blazing intensity in his hazel eyes so hot that it burns to look at.

Ritsu's breath catches and he shivers as a puff of warm air meets his skin. Masamune doesn't even blink. "N-nobody!" His claim sounds false, even to himself.

Masamune doesn't buy it. "Do I need to be worried about all of Kisa's wild theories that you're having an affair," he asks, but there's the slightest hint of teasing in his voice that tells Ritsu he's not being totally serious.

Ritsu curses under his breath.  _'Goddammit, Kisa!'_  Why is his coworker like this? Does he just really want Ritsu to suffer? He  _knows_ how their boss gets when he hears Kisa's latest (and untrue!) tale of imagination borne of lack of caffeine and far too much time spent reading trashy romance novels.

Masamune hums in disapproval. "You're taking an awfully long time to answer," he says pointedly. "Was he right," he asks playfully.

Ritsu huffs. He knows that Masamune is messing with him, but that's never been enough to stop him from falling for it every. Single. Time. And it isn't enough today, either. Turning his face away, he weakly attempts to hide his flaming cheeks from Masamune. "Of course not, don't be an idiot," he commands sternly. "I was just trying to think of where I'll hide Kisa's body so that they never find it."

Kisa has made Ritsu suffer needlessly for his own amusement for the last time!

"Oh, okay. Makes sense," Masamune nods in agreement. "I'll help you if you want," he offers casually. "Just say the word."

Ritsu does not doubt him, and he appreciates that his boyfriend is willing to help him get away with murder. "Hm, not today. Maybe tomorrow," he says consideringly.

Masamune snorts, breaking his serious facade and bursting into low, rumbling laughter.

Ritsu shouldn't find that cute or endearing, but he does.

Masamune's laughter slows to a stop, but the smile on his face and the amusement glimmering in his eyes stay. "You know, I didn't get a chance to say this earlier, but that stunt you pulled, defending me to Yokozawa, was really hot," he whispers, unfairly seductive for someone who Ritsu knows for a  _fact_ can drain three cups of coffee in ten minutes, and yet still have the shittiest personality known to mankind.

Ritsu gapes, and his heart tries to escape out of his throat. "Idiot! How many times do I have to tell you not to say such ridiculous things at work?" Honestly, it's like he's  _trying_ to get them fired. "What if somebody walked in, or what if someone heard you, or saw us-" he frets anxiously. He wishes he could wring his hands, but Masamune is still standing too close for him to do so.

Masamune grins dangerously. A new glint of something hungry and predatory shines in his eyes as they flicker down to Ritsu's lips. "Ritsu, ask me if I care," he instructs firmly.

Ritsu's eyes narrow, and he sighs wearily. He's pretty sure he already knows the answer to that question. Nevertheless, he still looks Masamune straight in the eye as he flatly asks: "Do you care?"

Masamune's grin widens. "Not even a little bit."

Yeah, Ritsu thought so. But any grumbled complaints he'd planned on uttering die on his lips when Masamune tilts his chin up with his pointer finger and brings their lips together in a bruising kiss that could put any kissing scene in Kisa's beloved trashy romance novels to shame.

"Mph!" Caught off guard, Ritsu's hands fly outwards and reflexively grab onto Masamune's arms. His fingers curl around Masamune's biceps tightly. Already, his heart is racing, his breathing is ragged, and his thoughts are quickly fading into a foggy haze.

Taking that as encouragement, Masamune lets out a low rumble of a noise that sounds strangely similar to a growl and deepens the kiss. He splays one hand over Ritsu's lower back, while the other travels up and tangles in Ritsu's hair.

Lightning strikes Ritsu's skin wherever Masamune touches. A thunderstorm travels up his spine from where Masamune's fingers are pressed against him and he jolts reflexively.

Masamune doesn't relent. Not that Ritsu had expected him to, nor does he want him to do so.

An embarrassing, choked gasp is pulled from Ritsu's throat when Masamune accidentally tugs on a lock of his hair a bit too roughly, which only seems to egg him on as he presses closer to Ritsu and kisses him even harder. Ritsu -no longer able to tell whose body is whose or which pounding heartbeat is his or Masamune's- is grudgingly grateful for the wall at his back because otherwise, his shaky knees would have buckled and given out on him long ago.

They stay like that for a period of time that Ritsu will not disclose, but would surely get the two of them fired if it was discovered just how long they stayed holed up in… Ritsu thinks it was Conference Room Three? Anyway, Ritsu doesn't have the brain capacity to remember such minute details at the moment, considering that, thanks to Masamune, he can barely remember his own damn name.

Ritsu forgets about the work sitting on his desk waiting for him, he forgets that Yokozawa is most likely plotting how best to go about murdering him in his sleep, and he forgets… well, pretty much everything as Masamune proceeds to kiss him into oblivion.

But Ritsu does not forget his conversation with Kotoko. He wants with everything in his heart for her not to screw up the single opportunity he's reluctantly giving her. Again, hardly for her sake, but for Masamune's. After all this time, a chance to start over with Kotoko, if he so desires, is the  _least_ of what Masamune deserves.

Ritsu  _really_ hopes next week goes well. It would be a shame if he had to spend time tracking down Masamune's mother so that he can kick her ass, but make no mistake: he will.

* * *

Dawn breaks on December twenty-fourth.

Masamune Takano awakens to a soft pair of lips pressing carefully against his own. His mind is foggy with stubbornly lingering sleep, and it takes a few seconds for it to clear, and for him to process that  _Ritsu_ is kissing  _him._  He wakes up pretty quickly after that.

Ritsu squeaks when Masamune suddenly kisses back and pushes himself, and therefore Ritsu halfway to sitting up. Then, never breaking the kiss, he pulls Ritsu's body underneath his and reverses their positions so that his legs bracket Ritsu's thighs. "Well, I could get used to waking up like this," he murmurs in Ritsu's ear.

Ritsu's breath falters ever so slightly. "It will never happen again," he scoffs, aiming to sound haughty, but the way his flush brightens and how his pulse jumps at Masamune's touch gives him away.

It's too much. Masamune has never been one for self-control, but this has to be a new record for how quickly his usual restraint has deserted him. Not that he's surprised; Ritsu Onodera has always been good at destroying any semblance he had of composure. Skin buzzing with newfound adrenaline, he wastes no time in helping himself to an early birthday present.

"Happy birthday," Ritsu pants in between desperate kisses.

Masamune thinks that it's looking to be a very happy birthday, indeed.

The rest of the morning passes in a blissful haze. To be honest, he hasn't cared much about his birthday in years. Before, it had been just one additional reminder that yet another year had passed, and he was still alone. The closest he ever came to celebrating it was by turning off his cell phone so that Yokozawa couldn't bother him, and heading directly for the nearest bar. Sometimes several. No pit stops, no restraint, and no regrets until the next morning when he woke up feeling like a railroad spike had been driven through his skull, and once again lying next to a complete stranger.

But  _this?_  This is something else entirely. Hearing a genuine "Happy Birthday" from the person he loves most in the world, and being able to spend today with Ritsu finally back in his arms, is more than perfect, by any definition.

At half-past eleven o'clock, though, Ritsu starts acting strange(er than usual). He gets antsy and looks at his phone a lot. Masamune is starting to hate that thing. Finally, he oh-so-casually suggests that the two of them go out to one of Masamune's favorite restaurants for lunch.

It's suspicious behavior, but maybe Ritsu is just being a little weirder and shyer than usual. Plus, Masamune is kind of hungry. So for the moment, he lets it slide.

At about twelve fifteen they arrive at the restaurant. There are a few people milling about, hiding away from the biting cold winter air outside, but the crowd isn't bad considering that a major holiday is happening tomorrow.

But then, he turns around for two seconds to talk to the hostess;  _two seconds he swears,_ and when he turns back, Ritsu is gone. A feeling of foreboding settles heavily in his stomach.

He already said it not that long ago, but Ritsu Onodera is far too good at vanishing without a trace.

He's halfway done dialing Ritsu's number on his cell phone when someone clears their throat behind him. The sense of apprehension he'd been experiencing doubles in intensity and his blood runs cold. No matter how much he wishes he didn't, he recognizes that voice.  _Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not let that be who I think it is,'_ he silently prays to anyone who may be listening. Reluctantly, and painstakingly slowly, he turns around to face the woman standing behind him.

Of course, because this is his life, it is. There's no mistaking that perfectly styled, stick straight chestnut hair, or immaculately pristine business suit. Kotoko Saga has apparently come to this exact restaurant, at this exact time, exactly when Masamune is also here, and Ritsu is nowhere in sight. What a coincidence.

Too bad Masamune doesn't believe in those. "Where's Ritsu," he asks, not letting down his guard for an instant. There's no way she just  _happens_ to be lurking over his shoulder the second he loses track of Ritsu. Something's up.

"Well hello to you too, dear son of mine," Kotoko greets dryly as her lips purse in wry amusement.

Nausea curls in Masamune's stomach at that little "term of endearment".

"Judging by your expression, he didn't tell you to expect me," she guesses sardonically. 

No, Ritsu most definitely did not _. Ritsu_ told  _her to be here?_ That's it: Masamune will be having  _words_ with him when he gets home.

Masamune doesn't even spare his mother a passing glance. "I'm leaving," he announces, turning on his heel to do so. He has a boyfriend to track down and interrogate about what the fuck is going on, and why the  _hell_ his mother is here. He has many, many questions right now. He makes it two steps before Kotoko calls after him.

"Wait," Kotoko says, voice strained and louder than what would normally be deemed appropriate for an indoor setting. The volume of her voice appears to surprise herself as well as Masamune, who has never heard her speak above a polite timbre before out in public in his life.

Masamune's body, acting of its own accord, freezes. It's purely from shock, he tells himself firmly. Not because he cares that she's never sounded so… pleading in front of him. He mentally curses himself for still allowing her to manipulate him like this, despite everything she's done. But he doesn't leave. Dammit.

Kotoko seizes the opportunity. "Your boy went through a lot of trouble to set this up, and we're already here. We might as well stay," she suggests, shrugging nonchalantly. It's logical enough, but the way she says it makes it sound like she's been suddenly cast out to sea, and is  _maybe_ just as uncertain about this situation as Masamune is.

_Ha. Not likely._

"Also…" Kotoko hesitates, shifting subtly on her high heels that look horribly uncomfortable. If Masamune didn't know any better, he'd say she was nervous. "I've been wanting to talk to you for a while, about a lot of things," she says, trying to sound confident but not quite nailing it.

Masamune's eyes widen. Well, that's a first.

Kotoko coughs when she doesn't receive a response. "So, what do you say? Would you like to have lunch," she asks, finally lifting her chin and looking him in the eye with a challenge in her gaze. For a moment, just a brief moment, the stubborn determination in her eyes reminds him of Ritsu. Then he blinks and the illusion is broken.

_No._

Masamune has no interest in this "lunch" whatsoever. His mother is twenty-eight -no, wait;  _twenty-nine-_  years too late to try and start acting like a proper parent now. He is not going to waste his time off (his  _birthday_ goddammit, can he not have one day out of the whole year for himself) here, when Ritsu is no doubt waiting for him; wherever the hell he ran off to. He can't have gotten far, though. And if Masamune leaves now, he's sure he can catch up with Ritsu.

That settles it. Of course, Masamune isn't going to stay. Of course, he's going to go and find the person he  _actually_ wants to see right now, and demand to know how the hell he thought that this harebrained scheme would possibly work. (Honestly, of all the ridiculous things Ritsu could have planned.) It's the only logical conclusion.

Of course, he's going to say: "Okay."

_Wait, what did I just say?_

Kotoko blinks.

Masamune also blinks, still processing.

_Well shit, that wasn't supposed to go like that._

* * *

Masamune Takano and Kotoko Saga being alone together within close proximity and left unsupervised is, somehow, not a total disaster.

Don't get him wrong now, though; it is still, unquestionably, one of the most painfully awkward scenarios he has ever been made to endure. The two of them don't have much in common, or much to talk about at all, really. A heavy, suffocating silence that nearly drives Masamune insane refuses to lift from over them. At least ten times, he wishes he had stuck with his original plan and left the second he saw her. Too little too late.

Maybe thirty minutes after they've sat down, Kotoko tentatively asks him a question about his work. It's a mundane topic, but it's safe, and Masamune latches onto it like a man dying of thirst latches onto a glass of water. He explains the bare basics of manga publishing, grateful for something,  _anything_ to talk about. She doesn't understand a lot of it, but that's okay. Most people don't.

In return, Masamune asks her what it's like to be a lawyer. Her explanation takes much longer than his had. And through all of the boring, technical, legal terms she uses, he gathers that it sucks. Conversation flows a little easier after that.

Masamune's father -both biological and otherwise- oddly enough does not come up. They both seem to have silently agreed not to open that particular can of worms yet, and Masamune is fine with that. There's still an awkward pause every once in a while, but other than that, this is actually going… not terribly. It's certainly way better than what Masamune had been expecting, at least.

At some point, Masamune asks her a little bit about her new husband and family. He isn't bitter about it anymore; that ship set sail a long time ago. He's just curious, that's all. Kotoko eyes him critically, but there's no deceit or hidden anger to be found at the moment.

Masamune learns that his half-sister, Saki, has a birthday coming up in about two weeks. Kotoko shows him a photo when he asks. She's a cute kid, with her wavy brown hair and rosy chubby cheeks. She'll soon be turning twelve. Cautiously, Kotoko invites him to the birthday party that will be held at their house that day.

Cautiously, Masamune accepts. And about then is when they realize that they've been at the restaurant for at least three hours now.

After they pay their bill, Masamune and Kotoko find themselves lingering at the front doors. It feels strange to just… go their separate ways now, but that's all there is to be done. This has been a strange day, to put it mildly. But once again, Masamune finds himself stopping in his tracks as Kotoko calls out to him as he begins walking to his car.

"That boy," Kotoko starts. "You know, he made me promise not to mess up today, or he would never forgive me," she recalls, a small, somewhat impressed smile pulling at her lips.

Masamune finds himself smiling as well. That sounds just like Ritsu.

"I'm glad I listened to him," Kotoko admits, averse to confessing that Ritsu's advice was actually helpful. "He really loves you," she informs him unnecessarily. Masamune is very much aware -and proud- of this fact. "And it's easy to see that you love him too."

Masamune will take that as a compliment. "Yeah? What of it," he asks, not sure what the point of this is. Are they just stating facts that everyone already knows, now?

Kotoko bites her lip, conflicted. Looks like she shares his pain of finding talking about  _feelings_ less appealing than pulling teeth. "I just want to know: does he make you happy?"

Masamune doesn't answer for a moment. Not because he needs time to think about it. No, definitely not. He just… isn't sure how to explain to Kotoko that answering that question is like answering that the sky is blue and water is wet; something that always has been, and always will be the truth.

"Yes, I do. More than anything," Masamune says simply instead. The way his heart clenches in his chest and fills so much it hurts at even the thought of Ritsu, (his smile, his laugh, his captivating emerald eyes; hell, everything about him) has not changed since he was eighteen years old, but that's too difficult to explain in words.

Kotoko nods, seemingly unsurprised. "Good. Then never let him go," she says warningly.

_Like I need you to tell me that._

Ritsu couldn't get rid of him if he tried. Masamune's thoughts unwittingly drift, and settle on… something he's been debating over for a long time. He hasn't been able to work up the courage to do it yet, and he would normally scoff at even thinking something so silly, but maybe Kotoko's words are a sign that now is the time.

Not that he believes in signs or anything like that. Nothing so trivial has ever told him what to do, so he's not going to start letting it now.

"Don't worry," Masamune says, deciding that it's finally time for the little black box he's been carrying around with him for probably about a month to be put to use. "I won't."

* * *

Ritsu spends four hours staring blankly at the pages of a book.

He feels terrible the instant he slips away when Masamune's back is turned, but everything has already been set into motion. It's too late to change his mind now. So, shoving the feelings of guilt away as best he can, he goes home. Thankfully, their apartment was within walking distance of the restaurant.

When he gets home, he paces around their living room for ten straight minutes. Thoughts like:  _'Oh my god, what did I do? This was a_ horrible  _idea!'_ run through his mind on an endless loop.

Eventually, he tries to distract himself with an old, favorite book of his, but for once, his beloved novels fail him. There's no way he can concentrate; he's too anxious! It's hard to remind himself that fretting nervously the whole time won't do anyone any good, but in the end, he manages it. Kind of.

Then he waits.

And waits.

And  _waits._

He waits for so long, running circles in his own head, that when he hears the sound of keys jingling and their deadbolt unlocking, and Masamune finally walks through their front door again, he nearly has a heart attack.

"Ritsu," Masamune calls, closing the door and locking it behind him. "I'm back."

When Masamune walks down the hallway and into the living room, the book Ritsu had been holding slips out of his hands and lands on the floor. The loud thud it makes when it hits the ground makes him cringe. "Wel-welcome back," he greets weakly.

Masamune raises an eyebrow at Ritsu's even clumsier than usual actions, but otherwise doesn't comment on it

Ritsu bites his bottom lip.  _'I hope he isn't mad.'_

Masamune doesn't say anything at first, and Ritsu's anxiety crashes through the roof. Trying to busy himself, he reaches down to pick his book up off of the floor. He silently apologizes to it as he places it gently on the table in front of him. The sound of footsteps approaching only makes his heart rate increase. His breath catches when he looks up only to see Masamune standing  _right there._

"You'll never  _believe_ who I ran into at the restaurant after you disappeared into thin air," Masamune drawls, and Ritsu's known him long enough to understand when he says something just to be a sarcastic prick.

' _He knows.'_ Ritsu's racing heart misses a beat.

"I can explain," he blurts out when his lungs feel like they'll burst if he doesn't say anything.

Masamune's expression does not change.

Ritsu's mouth disconnects from his brain and switches to autopilot. "I hope I didn't upset you, I just wanted to do something nice for you on your birthday and I thought that  _maybe_ it would be a good idea to get in touch with your mom and I'm sorry I didn't tell you first because I wanted it to be a surprise but if you're mad at me I totally understand and I'm  _really_ sorry if I overstepped any boundaries but I knew that the two of you would never talk to each other if somebody didn't make you so I-" Ritsu doesn't realize how fast he was speaking without a pause for breath until he stops, due to a set of warm hands squeezing his shoulders.

"Ritsu, Ritsu calm down. I'm not mad at you," Masamune assures him. "Just breathe," he instructs firmly.

Lungs burning, Ritsu finally takes a deep breath. And it's a good thing he does because the next thing he knows the hands have moved from his shoulders to his face and Masamune is leaning down and making him unable to breathe for a different reason.

' _Dammit,'_ Ritsu thinks as a fire ignites at his lips and spreads throughout his entire body. It really isn't fair that Masamune is able to make his brain short circuit with a simple kiss  _every single time._ A shaky breath is pulled from his throat as Masamune slowly pulls away.

"I'm not mad at you," Masamune promises again. "It actually wasn't that bad, just ridiculously awkward." His nose wrinkles.

The fog in Ritsu's head clears, though only a little bit, and the pressure in his chest releases into a relieved sigh. "Really," he asks, making sure that Masamune is telling him the truth.

"Really." Masamune smiles. "I got invited to my half-sister's birthday party in a few weeks. She's turning twelve," he says, smile turning a little wistful.

Seeing Masamune like this makes Ritsu's heart warm and painfully content. Every stiff, uncomfortably exchanged word with Kotoko was definitely worth it if it made Masamune that happy.  _'I'm so glad...'_

Ritsu squeezes Masamune's hand. "That's great," he says happily, voice barely louder than a whisper. He wonders if Masamune's even aware of it. He's telling Ritsu all these things so easily, like they don't matter or mean anything, but he can see right through that, to the glimmer of excitement and anticipation shining in his eyes. Ritsu wants to protect that forever. To hold it to his chest, and guard it more closely than even the world's most precious treasure.

Almost as if he can hear Ritsu's thoughts, Masamune looks at him strangely for a minute.

Anxiousness slowly starts creeping back up Ritsu's spine. "What's the matter," he asks worriedly. "Did something else happen?" Kotoko's days are  _numbered_ if she did anything to him…

"What? No, that's not it," Masamune denies hastily.

Ritsu's adrenaline drops a few pegs.  _'Geez, don't scare me like that!'_

"It's just-" Masamune looks away for a moment, before squaring his shoulders and facing Ritsu again. "Stand up for a second, please?"

' _Huh?'_ What's with that strange request? And why does Masamune almost sound  _nervous?_ Something is not right in the universe.

"Um, okay?" Highly confused, Ritsu doesn't fight it when Masamune gently pulls him to his feet.

Mumbling something under his breath, Masamune slowly takes a deep breath, lets it out, and sinks down to one knee.

Ritsu's confusion only grows.

Masamune clears his throat, like he's nervous, or something. "Ritsu," he starts seriously, with the same air as somebody who's been practicing a speech for a very long time. I wanted to ask you a very important question."

' _Uhh…'_

Ritsu does not compute. What the hell is happening right now, and why is his heart suddenly fluttering faster than a herd of butterfly wings? "Uh, Masamune?" His voice sounds fuzzy and far away, even to his own ears. "What are you doing?"

Masamune's mouth twitches and his solemn facade is broken. His lips turn downwards into a light, irritated frown. "What the hell does it look like? I'm proposing to you, idiot." The serious air is now gone, and he sounds much more like himself.

"Oh," Ritsu says faintly.

' _Of course. That makes perfect sense. Why didn't I guess that sooner?'_

Ritsu forgets how to breathe and his heart speeds up dangerously as his short-circuited brain finally clicks back into gear. "Wait, you're what?!"

Masamune sighs. "How can you possibly be so thick-headed," he grumbles irately.

An indignant protest tries to force it's way past Ritsu's lips, but he's been effectively immobilized by shock.

Satisfied with Ritsu's silence, Masamune continues. "I love you, Ritsu." Just like every time he says it, it makes Ritsu's heart skip a beat. "I have since we were teenagers."

Briefly, an image of their old, high school library floats to the surface of Ritsu's mind. He remembers waiting there, day after day, hoping for even just a  _glimpse_ of Masamune from the other side of the bookcases. Unexpectedly, the backs of his eyes start prickling.  _'No,'_ he scolds himself instantly.  _'I am_ not  _going to cry.'_

"It wasn't always perfect, I can admit that much. And then we lost each other for ten years." A bittersweet nostalgia leaks into Masamune's voice.

Ritsu nearly breaks his promise with himself not to cry.

"But still, I never stopped loving you."

The air gets stuck in Ritsu's lungs.  _'Do. Not. Cry.'_

"I thought that I would just live the rest of my life alone," Masamune confesses. "And I was fine with that. Because for me, there was, and is, only you. I was certain that I never could and never will love anyone the way I love you."

Ritsu's chest constricts, and he presses his hand against his mouth to muffle the sob that threatens to escape him.

"But then, just when I was about to give up, we found each other again." Masamune looks at Ritsu like he's the sun; like he's the moon; like he's everything good in the world.

A few warm drops of liquid drip down Ritsu's cheeks. Well, there goes that.

"It took us a long time to get to where we are now, but I wouldn't trade a single second of it for the world. Because it led us to  _this moment,_ right here," Masamune says earnestly. "I lived without you for ten years, and I  _never_ want to go back to a world without you in it," he declares, looking horrified at the mere thought. "It took losing you for me to realize that, and I won't ever make that mistake again," he vows.

Ritsu inhales sharply and nearly chokes on another impending sob.

"So, I would like to ask:" Masamune pulls a small, dark velvet box out of his pocket and pops the lid open.

The small silver band inside is elegantly simple. The metal is unblemished and polished to a flawless shine. It's obvious that Masamune must have chosen it because he knows Ritsu wouldn't wear anything more extravagant out in public. Ritsu thinks it's perfect.

"Ritsu Onodera; will you marry me?"

Ritsu gives up on trying to hold back the tears. It's just not gonna happen. And it seems like the more he brushes them away, the faster they fall.

There's no way that this is really happening, right? Even in his wildest dreams, to be able to be with Masamune forever; for Masamune to  _want_ to be with  _him_ forever, was only a fairy tale. Yet the mirage doesn't fade, no matter how long he stands there, blubbering like an idiot. Soon, it occurs to him that no matter how patient Masamune is being, he still needs to give the man a proper answer. He's done enough keeping Masamune waiting for one lifetime.

"Y-" Ritsu's voice is hoarse, and far too choked up. Coughing to clear his throat, he tries again. "Yes," he says, barely a whisper.

As always, Masamune is listening closely enough to hear him anyway. "Yes," he repeats slowly, a small, fleeting hope in his voice that goes right to Ritsu's heart.

Ritsu can't decide if he should laugh, cry some more, or be offended. As if there was any reason for Masamune to be so worried, considering that there was never any other choice to be made in the first place. And Masamune calls  _him_ dense. "Yes," Ritsu says again, stronger and more confidently this time. He's pretty sure that he's never been more certain of anything in his life. "I've been in love with you since I was fifteen years old, Masamune. I always knew that I was going to love you for the rest of my life." His confession leaves him in a shaky exhale.

A breathless  _noise_ escapes Masamune, and he's jumping to his feet and moving closer and crashing his lips into Ritsu's before Ritsu can even blink. His arms go around Ritsu's waist so tightly he isn't able to breathe, but that's the least of his worries, right now. Ritsu's arms lock around his neck and he holds on desperately. He's reasonably sure that his feet leave the ground for a few seconds.

Masamune is the first to catch his breath enough to speak after they break the kiss for the sole purpose of obtaining enough oxygen to keep them alive. "I love you," he says reverently. "I love you  _so_ much."

More stupid tears of happiness run down Ritsu's face. "I love you, too."

Overwhelmed, Masamune buries his face in the crook of Ritsu's shoulder. The two of them stay like that for a while, just breathing each other in and basking in the moment.

Eventually, Masamune lifts his head, and hazel and emerald eyes meet.

Just as a final precaution, Ritsu feels the need to make sure that Masamune knows the true extent of what he's gotten himself into. "You know this means that you're stuck with me for the rest of your life, right," he reminds Masamune with a hiccup.

Masamune's lips curve into a soft smile. Gently, he brushes a stray tear away from Ritsu's face. "I'm counting on it. That's kind of the idea" he murmurs. Then he moves forward, and so does Ritsu.

They both meet somewhere in the middle.

* * *

This, _despite what it may seem, is not the ending of an old story, or the beginning of an entirely new one. Rather, it is only the start of a new chapter._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find this chapter disgustingly cheesy and cliche. I love it. 
> 
> Also: Y'all. I STRUGGLED with this chapter. It did not want to be written. My hours at work got extended, I ended up literally stressing myself into a bitch of a cold over finals (Ritsu would be proud. I keep telling y'all we're the same person), I had to do things for my mom's birthday, which is December 22nd, of course three days away from Christmas, because why not, and my phone -which is primarily where I write- broke. This chapter is cursed. Please get it out of my sight.
> 
> P.S- So... there's a chapter limit now. I guess this can be considered the "official" last chapter of Being Heard, but there will be two more installments, and then a spin off of sorts. (Make no mistake, I have no plans of abandoning y'all, or to stop writing about our two favorite idiots. I'm in too deep now, there's no escape for me.) 
> 
> P.P.S- [Y'all should follow me on Tumblr, just sayin' ;)](https://literally-ritsu.tumblr.com) and in case the link doesn't work, my side-blog name is literally-ritsu (don't judge me)
> 
> Next time: Past, Present, and Future. (Or: five times Masamune Takano came home to an empty house, and one time he didn't.)
> 
> And one more time: Merry Christmas everyone!!!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Past, Present, and Future. (Or: five times Masamune Takano came home to an empty house, and one time he didn't.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. I gave myself The Feels™ writing this. My husband deserved better, y'all. I don't have too much to say this time, just Happy New Years, and that I hope you guys enjoy!

_One._

The first time Masamune Takano comes home to an empty house, he's ten years old, and he isn't particularly surprised.

He may be young, but he's not stupid. Even he can tell that his parent's once fond bickering has gained a new cruel and biting edge; the playful jokes and banter they used to exchange now only thinly disguise the insults they throw at each other far too loudly. The soft, loving looks they shared once upon a time have long become sharp, and full of hate.

He sees the way that the other mothers and fathers look at him with pity while he walks to his elementary school all by himself. Hears the way they whisper about him and his family like they know everything. The word  _'Divorce'_ is used a lot. He doesn't know what it means yet, but he hopes it's better than the crushing weight he feels in his chest whenever he and his parents all end up in the same room together, which doesn't happen very often these days.

(He'll eventually find out that it isn't, and that it's actually much worse, but that's eight years away.)

So, when he comes home one day and sees that neither of his parents are home, all the lights still off, and no matter how hard he listens, all he can hear is a heavy, suffocating silence that makes his lungs feel too small, it isn't much of a shock. True, usually at least one of his parents tries to be home by the time they know he gets home from school, but they do both have very strange and important jobs, they've told him.

 _Maybe they just got stuck on a stupid, slow train,_ Masamune reasons with the innocence and hope that only a child is capable of. 

He waits.

They don't come home.

It gets dark. He gets hungry. He makes himself a quick meal -the best that he's able to on his own- that he heats in the microwave because he's ten, and isn't supposed to use the oven when he's home alone. He eats in front of the TV because his parents aren't there to tell him not to. It tastes bad.

Then, he reads for a while. Three hours later his parents still aren't home, and he ends up reading as he falls asleep in the eerily silent house.

(He wakes up four hours later, to his parents yelling at each other and slamming doors so loudly it shakes the walls. It's only the first time of many.)

(He thinks he's starting to understand what that strange,  _divorce_ word means.)

* * *

_Two._

It happens again. Has been for a while now, so Masamune barely even notices.

This time, he's eighteen, and he may or may not have just gotten a boyfriend? Who may or may not have been practically stalking him for three years? Don't ask him, he doesn't understand how the hell it happened, either.

Okay, calling Ritsu Oda his boyfriend is a bit of a stretch. The only reason Masamune even knows his name is because of the stupid library cards. But he technically did ask the first year out. (Why did he do that? He'd meant to reject him, and shatter the naive, rich boy's perfect, rose-colored glasses; preferably into a million pieces. Not offer to date him.) And they did have sex last night, so he doesn't know what else to call their relationship.

Masamune still isn't sure how he feels about having sex with a guy. It wasn't bad or disgusting or anything like that. Far from it, actually. It was just… weird.  _Ritsu_  is weird. His being unable to open his mouth when Masamune kissed him was weird. The faces and the sounds he'd made had been weird. How his pretty emerald green eyes had glazed over before squeezing shut was weird. The way he'd said his name,  _'Saga-senpai…'_ in a shaky, breathy sigh, was weird. The way his body had trembled at twitched at Masamune's slightest touch had been weird.

Then again, maybe Masamune is the weird one for wanting to do it again.

His house comes into view, and he realizes with a jolt of irritation that the small, fidgety, impossibly  _pure_  and earnest boy hasn't left his thoughts once the entire way home. His weirdness must be contagious, Masamune decides with a shrug.

"I'm home," he announces as he unlocks and walks through his front door.

Unsurprisingly, nobody answers. He'd thought that it seemed too quiet around here. If his parents had both been home, which was nothing less than a total nightmare, lately, there would have been a lot more screaming. Thank goodness he gets to avoid that headache, today.

" _Mew, mew!"_ A tiny sound draws Masamune's gaze down to the floor.

Oh, right. The house isn't _completely_ deserted. 

A rare smile pulls at Masamune's lips as the young, tiny, fluffy black cat he'd taken in recently pads down the stairs to meet him. His parents may not be home, but this greeting is much nicer than the usual screaming match he walks into almost daily, now. "Hey, Sorata," he says softly, gently picking up the cat. He may be bitter and jaded at his ripe old age of eighteen years old, but even he can't deny that this kitten is fucking  _adorable._

Sorata nuzzles his small, fuzzy face against Masamune's chin, and purrs contentedly.

It's a better  _'Welcome home'_ than Masamune has gotten in months. He refuses to regret his decision to save the lone, heartbreakingly soaked and pathetic kitten from the cardboard box some asshole had tossed to the side of the road. Even if he hadn't been as alone as he'd thought when he picked up the cat from the box for the first time.  _I still can't believe he saw that. So uncool..._

Masamune blinks, and sighs frustratedly when his thoughts once again lead him to Ritsu. Seriously, can't he catch a break? This is getting ridiculous, he barely even  _knows_ the kid. Why the hell does he keep thinking about him?

His phone beeps, thankfully drawing him out of his thoughts that can't seem to stop revolving around the shy, quiet, confusing boy for ten damn minutes today. Then, he looks at the name on his screen. An incredulous huff escapes his nose.

 _You have got to be fucking kidding me._ Think of the devil, or something like that; Ritsu just sent him a message. Which isn't altogether impossible, given that Masamune had put his number in the boy's phone yesterday afternoon. Still, he hadn't thought that the painfully awkward and flighty first year would actually  _use it._

Figures that the only thing successfully able to distract Masamune from the strange, useless thoughts about the first year that have been plaguing him all day -nearly driving him insane- would be the first year himself. The universe has one messed up sense of humor, that's for sure. Nevertheless, he carefully cradles Sorata against his chest with one hand, and opens the message on his phone with the other.

**Ritsu (Stalker Kid)**

_4:38 p.m_

_Saga-senpai, I'm really sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you're any good at math?_

Well, that's unexpected. The kid finally managed to get over his hero worship for five minutes and ask a proper question? Color Masamune impressed.

_4:40 p.m_

_I'm good at lots of things. Math just happens to be one of them._

He hits send. Then he realizes just how arrogant that makes him sound.

_Do you need help?_

There, that's better. Barely five seconds pass before he receives a reply.

_Oh, really? That's great!_

Geez, does nothing phase this kid? Masamune can  _see_ his bright, excited smile from here.

_I've been a little stuck in my math lessons lately. The teacher just makes everything so confusing! Again, I'm really sorry to bother you, but please, help me!_

Masamune snorts.

_4:43 p.m_

_Understood._

"What do you think, Sorata?" Masamune shows the phone to the kitten, now perched on his shoulder and staring at the screen curiously.

Sorata (very helpfully) purrs, and reaches a paw out to try and bat at the phone that is too far away for him to even get close to.

Masamune supposes that means he should be nice today.

_4:44 p.m_

_Meet me at the library after school tomorrow, and bring the material you're going over in class. I'll help you._

Masamune makes it up the stairs and into his room.

Sorata hops off of his shoulder, and lands with impressive agility on the bed tucked into the corner of the room. Circling around a few times before settling down, the cat makes himself comfortable.

Masamune follows his lead. His phone doesn't leave his hand as he takes a seat on his bed. The same bed, he can't help but recall, that he'd had Ritsu in not too long ago…

Masamune has never thought of his bed as anything terribly special, but now, it's impossible to shake off the memories of desperate kisses, sweat-slicked skin, and Ritsu's muffled moans of both pain and pleasure that he will now forever associate with this bed. His skin had been incredibly smooth, and soft, and so impossibly _hot_ to the touch.

Would it still be the same now, if Masamune asked him to come over and touched him again? Would his hands still shake with nerves until he calmed down under Masamune's touch? Would he sigh and stop fidgeting, and relax long enough to open his mouth so that Masamune could finally kiss him properly? Would he still be as hypersensitive and responsive, when Masamune-

_Whoa, whoa, whoa!_

Masamune realizes himself with a jolt.  _Shit,_ he needs to think about something else _right now._ His face feels strangely hot. What the hell is he  _doing?_  He needs to get a grip. Luckily, before his thoughts can wander any further down  _that_ path, his message notification tone rings again.

_4:46 p.m_

_Really!? Thank you so much! I definitely owe you a favor!_

Masamune frowns. Nice kids like Ritsu shouldn't make such offers to people like him so lightly. They need to talk about that. Somebody else might take advantage of a  _favor_  from Ritsu, and he is hardly an exception. Right now, for example, he would be lying through his teeth if he claimed that he wasn't  _extremely_ tempted to cash in his favor right that moment, to have Ritsu come over that instant so that they could pick up where they left off last night.

_So naive._

_4:49 p.m_

_Don't mention it._

Masamune cuts his phone off and takes a slow, deep breath that is inexplicably shaky. This kid seems bad for his health. His phone chimes again, but this time the name on the screen only fills him with a dull twinge of nothingness rather than the irritation and confusion and  _excitement_ seeing Ritsu's name somehow instills within him.

**Mom**

_4:55 p.m_

_I'll be home late this evening, and your father will most likely be staying somewhere else tonight. There's money for food in the kitchen._

Masamune rolls his eyes. Looks like neither of his parents will be home for dinner. What a surprise.

A small, tugging sensation on his sleeve saves him from thinking too hard about the prospect of spending yet another night trying to ignore the cold, choking, nauseating silence of this damned house that's been squeezing the air from his lungs for the last eighteen years.

Masamune looks down at the kitten next to him, whose small claws are tangled in his uniform sleeves. "Okay, okay, let's go get you some food," he says, mock exasperatedly.

Sorata meows happily at the mention of food.

Masamune smiles. Sure, his life may or may not be falling to pieces around him, but at least he has the cat.

* * *

_Three._

Masamune moves into a dorm the day he graduates from the high-school he'd been forced to transfer to after his parents finally got divorced. It's small, but it's conveniently located, quiet, and blessedly absent of other people. The whole time he's enrolled, he doesn't need or want a roommate, so he doesn't have one. He gets used to coming back to a room empty of life except for Sorata, who is no longer a kitten, but still adorable.

It's not a hard adjustment.

One semester, Masamune meets a brash, strict, no-nonsense hardass named Yokozawa when their mutual professor pairs them up for a group project. They get an A of course, and between their bickering and insults and clashing ideas, along the way, they become something like friends. Masamune wouldn't know; he's never had too many of those, after all.

For the first time since… Ritsu, (God, he still can't even  _think_  that name without it ripping a piece away from his scarred and still bleeding heart) Masamune feels like maybe, just maybe, the rest of his life won't totally suck.

So that only makes it hurt all the worse when he finds out that  _boy, was he wrong._

"Hey, didn't we go to the same high school," a random classmate of Masamune's asks curiously one day as everyone is trying to leave after the professor has completed his lecture that had almost seemed like it would never end. 

The only thing about this guy that Masamune knows with certainty is that he sits behind him in Literature. "It's possible, I guess," he concedes. He only says it in the hopes that he'll be able to leave sooner and avoid any extra social interaction he definitely does not have the energy for right now.

No such luck. "Cool," he says, far too enthusiastically. "Then, only out of curiosity, do you happen to know whatever happened to that rich kid that just… vanished off the face of the earth, one day? I always wondered about that."

A heavy weight of dread and apprehension drops into Masamune's stomach. "Rich kid?"

_Please, please let it be a coincidence._

"Yeah, the one who dropped out to go study abroad near the end of his first year. You have to remember. The school talked about it for  _months."_

Nausea curls in Masamune's stomach and bile rises up the back of his throat.  _Just a coincidence, just a coincidence._ The more he tries to convince himself, the less likely it seems.

"And there was more to the story that nobody ever told us: Apparently, he even had a fiancee. Can you imagine being engaged during high school? How awful."

Masamune forgets how to breathe. Ritsu... was engaged? To be married? What the hell? No matter how he says it, he can't comprehend the words.

So, what? When they were going out, spending time together at the library or at Masamune's house after school, he was engaged? When Masamune was slowly but surely falling more and more in love with Ritsu -his optimism, his endearing bashfullness, and his impossibly genuine kindness- every day that went by, Ritsu was engaged?

It doesn't make any fucking sense, but it explains so much. Like how Ritsu had left him behind and disappeared into thin air, right when Masamune had just started to believe, cold and wary and cynical as he was, that somebody actually gave a shit about him. It was because Ritsu had never been serious about their relationship in the first place because  _oh god, Ritsu was engaged._

And that, for some reason (after everything he's been through with his parents divorce, learning of the years of lies and secrets and adultery that had screwed him and his family over  _big time_ , and being ripped away from everything he'd ever known to finish the last half of his senior year in a town he'd never been to) is the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Masamune snaps.

After that, college rolls by in a haze of smoking, drinking, and partying.

Oh, and bodies. Lots and lots of bodies. Sometimes a woman, sometimes a man, Masamune isn't too picky. That would imply that he actually gave a shit. Which he doesn't anymore. About anything. He hasn't since the night Ritsu literally knocked his world upside down before proceeding to vanish without a trace.

Yokozawa, the fool, worries about him, and tries to keep him from falling completely off the deep end.

It doesn't work. Masamune screws that relationship up for a while, in more ways than one.

Yokozawa takes his cat.

It's just another fragment chipped off of Masamune's already shattered heart.

* * *

_Four._

Eventually, after one too many nights of drinking himself into oblivion and mornings of waking up in a place he doesn't know, next to a person he doesn't recognize, with no memory of the last twelve hours and a pounding in his head that feels similar to having a railroad spike driven through his skull, Masamune mellows out.

He gets an apartment, a job, and a car. For a bit, everything seems like it will be okay.

 _Hah,_ right. One day he'll stop falling for that.

He doesn't like his job at Earth. He isn't too terribly interested in shounen manga, to start, but the fact that the higher-ups won't let him do what he  _knows_ could make the magazine better infuriates him. The hours suck, the pay is shit, and his coworkers, namely this irritating, competitive asshole named Haitani who seems almost obsessed with him, make every day a living hell.

He quits, then thinks about the consequences. As always, though, Yokozawa is there to knock some sense into him in one breath, and then help him out in the next. Masamune really needs to thank him properly, one of these days.

Marukawa is better. The hours are still horrendous, but the pay nearly makes up for it. Plus, it's nice to work in the same building with the one person on this shithole of a planet he considers a friend. The Emerald Department is a total rag, but he whips it into shape in no time. Kisa, Mino, and Hatori are a good crew.

He settles into somewhat of a routine: wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, suffer, go home, go to sleep, repeat. Hardly anything extraordinary, but it works for him. It's nice, having the stability if nothing else.

He's really got to stop getting comfortable with his life; that's always when fate knocks him on his ass the hardest.

Marukawa throws their newest hire to the wolves by sending him to Masamune's Department with no prior knowledge of… anything useful whatsoever.

Ritsu Onodera (because of fucking  _course_ his name just has to be  _Ritsu)_ is weird. To start with: he's politely rude, hiding his insults and complaints behind dark, mutinous glares. Clearly, he's just as unenthusiastic about being here as Masamune is about having an untrained, unqualified person like him.

But something about his voice, the way he blushes, and his bright, emerald green eyes are so achingly  _familiar…_

 _No. There is_ no  _way that it's him._

But what if it  _is?_ A not-so-minor internal battle takes place in Masamune's chest. Now that the idea has taken root in his mind, it's getting harder and harder to ignore the similarities, despite the glaringly obvious differences, between Oda and Onodera. (Un)fortunately, it isn't long before he gets his answer, for better or for worse.

"Back in high school, I would always do things like regularly read all of the books in my library."

When Masamune hears that, his broken, battered, incomplete heart stops in his chest. There's no doubt about it anymore, that's him: his  _Ritsu._ The hair may be messier, and his personality has definitely done a one-eighty from its previous, naive rich kid setting, but it's still him. It's him it's him it's  _him._

Masamune has been dreaming about this moment for  _years._ Has run the scenario of what he'd do when he finally found Ritsu in his head so many times. But now that the time has actually come, he realizes that he doesn't know what the hell to do. Does he punch him? Does he scream? Does he pull him in by the collar and kiss the daylights out of him like he's wanted to for ten years? Which is it?

But, as it turns out, he doesn't have to do anything. Because, here's the kicker: Ritsu doesn't fucking remember him.

What the  _fuck?_

So Masamune is supposed to believe that he is the only one that's been agonizing over all of this shit for the last ten years? That he alone has been tearing himself apart since the day their little, high school bubble burst into a million shards? That Ritsu really was just a spoiled rich kid who used him to satisfy some kind of teenaged curiosity? That Ritsu's awkwardness and stuttering and nervous confessions that had always made Masamune's heart skip a beat were never genuine? 

 _Bullshit._ Ritsu wasn't that good of an actor. 

Masamune's patience boils over the morning after an allnighter he had unwittingly dragged Ritsu into with him. When he's at his least guarded because he's so damn  _tired._  It boils over when Ritsu gives him that  _look;_ that same awed, shy, hopelessly longing look from when he was fifteen.

 _To hell with this,_ he decides. He  _makes_ Ritsu remember. Ritsu's horrified face when the true understanding of exactly who Masamune is fills him with a twisted sense of gratification.

Ritsu chases after Masamune before he gets too far away, and it's almost morbidly hilarious how that is something that hasn't changed in ten years. "I was hurt by what happened, too," he claims, and the confusion and anger and  _pain_ in his eyes is real.

For the first time, Masamune considers that maybe there were things he didn't know about Ritsu back then, either, and that their story did, in fact, have two sides. And if that's true, which is seeming more and more likely by the second, then that just makes it all the worse. There's too much information to process right now. They both need to take a step back and take a breath.

Masamune leaves, but not before telling Ritsu in no uncertain terms that he is  _far_ from done with him yet.  _I'll make you fall in love with me again,_ he says, and he means it.

His hands are steady on the wheel as he drives home, but they tremble as he fumbles with the keys to unlock his door and enter his empty apartment. With a deep, shuddering breath, he takes out his phone and dials a number. It rings twice before there's an answer.

"Yokozawa," Masamune says, voice nothing more than a quiet, strained, unbearably  _hopeful_ whisper. "I found him."

* * *

_Five._

If this were a manga, now would be the time for the fade-to-black, cut to the Happy Ending scene. It may have taken ten years, but after so long, Masamune finally has Ritsu back in his life. So that means that everything should be perfect, right?

Yeah, Masamune didn't think so, either.

Ritsu is different, now. Gone is Oda, the timid, stuttering, nervous first year that had never been able to look Masamune in the eye. Onodera is… something,  _someone_  else altogether.

The man Ritsu has become is stubborn, prickly, and almost entirely unrecognizable from his fifteen-year-old counterpart. He's strict, painfully professional, and he goes to astoundingly great lengths to ensure that he never ends up alone with Masamune. Which is difficult to do, considering that not only do they work together, but they also happen to live less than twenty feet apart. Masamune will admit, he didn't see that one coming.

But even the universe's sick joke of having them end up as next door neighbors doesn't help. If anything, it makes it worse.

Ritsu goes to work early so that he can avoid having to take the train with Masamune, (despite the fact that he drives to work most days) and then stays well past the time that every sane person has gone home for the same reason.

It's like Masamune had never found him in the first place. The ache in his heart that had never quite scarred over rips open mercilessly.

Yokozawa calls Masamune an idiot for allowing Ritsu to have even a shred of control over his emotions after everything that's happened. Masamune agrees completely. He still hangs off of Ritsu's every word and action, though. He's too far gone down the rocky and unstable path he's chosen to turn back now.

It's not a surprise, though still painful as hell, when Ritsu pushes him away. Again, again, and again. Every rejection, every dropped gaze, every time Ritsu's shoulders tense up when he accidentally comes too close, cuts Masamune deeper than any knife ever could. It  _hurts,_ knowing that Ritsu is so close after so long, but is still so tantalizingly out of reach. He'd wanted Ritsu back, but not like this.

Their relationship (if you can call it that; strained, fragile, and ready to break again at a moment's notice as it is) is always one step forward, followed by five steps back. Masamune fucks up a lot. And Ritsu is no longer the innocent kid who would worship the ground at his feet. When he doesn't like something Masamune does, he tells him. Loudly.

So, long story short, their first few months after being thrown unceremoniously back into each other's lives are a complete fucking nightmare.

Going home to a place with no life, no warmth, is something Masamune once again begins to dread like he hasn't since he was thirteen. He'd finally gotten used to his small, empty apartment, but now that he knows that Ritsu is  _right next door,_ yet more distant than he's ever been, it feels more stifling and intolerable than it ever did before.

It takes some getting used to; ignoring the twist of the knife in his chest when he gets home and accidentally looks too far to the left, at the door that's mocking him with how firmly shut and locked up tight it is, but Masamune manages it.

Barely.

* * *

Masamune almost gives up hope so many times.

Almost gives in to the dark thoughts that  _Ritsu will never love you again, and it's your own fault._ Almost accepts that the damage done to his and Ritsu's relationship ten years ago is too severe, too much to ever repair. It  _hurts,_ more than he can ever begin to put into words, imagining letting Ritsu go  _again._ Selfish and greedy as he is, though, he won't,  _can't_ allow Ritsu to hate him any more than he probably already does.

But little by little, things begin to change.

Ritsu stays fierce and sharp and jaded; he stays strong and hardworking and breathtaking. He remains all of these things and more, but slowly  _(achingly slowly),_ he stops pushing Masamune away. Stops keeping himself so guarded, and far away from arm's length.

Tentatively, selfishly, Masamune begins to hope that everything will end up okay, at some point. For once, the universe doesn't slap him in the face for doing so.

"I love you," Ritsu eventually, finally confesses. For what seems like the first time in ten years, Masamune feels like he can breathe properly again. "I have only ever loved you."

* * *

_After nearly a lifetime of coming home to an empty house, Masamune Takano no longer fears the silence and coldness he always has. Now, he can finally say that he has somebody waiting for him._

* * *

About a year (and many,  _many_ ups and downs and everything in between) later, Masamune unlocks the door to their apartment.

It's late, so he tries not to make too much noise as he closes and re-locks the door behind him. Today was a busy day, and Ritsu had only reluctantly left without him when Masamune had urged him to after being made aware of a surprise meeting being held after normal work hours that no one else had bothered to inform him about. One of these days, he really is going to murder Isaka.

The rest of the apartment is dark, but there's a beam of light shining from somewhere in the living room.

Wearily dropping his work bag to the floor, Masamune walks slowly across the floor, grateful when the wooden boards don't betray him by creaking loudly. When he gets to the entrance connecting the hallway and the living room, he stops short. A small laugh of disbelief warms his chest.

Ritsu is there.

Masamune will never take that for granted again. Suffice to say, he's learned his lesson about that.

He must have tried to wait up for him, as he is curled up and fast asleep in their armchair closest to the lamp. His head is propped up against the side of the chair, and his knees are tucked against his slowly rising and falling chest. His fingers are curled loosely around the pages of the book resting on his lap. The soft light from the lamp falls across his face in a way that makes him look something ethereal; angelic. Something more than human.

Masamune's heart suddenly fills so full he wouldn't be surprised if it were to burst. It wouldn't be a bad way to go. With full confidence, he can say that if he were to somehow drop dead this very moment, he would die a happy man.

Ritsu is still stubborn, still prickly, and still a horrible workaholic on the best of days. Part (most) of that is Masamune's fault, he'll admit, but he wouldn't change it for a thing.

He loves Ritsu's hidden strength that only comes out when he's backed into a corner. He loves the determination that lights up Ritsu's face whenever he's presented with a problem or a challenge. He loves Ritsu's small smile and his rare laugh and his captivating, emerald eyes. It took a long time, almost eleven years, for them to get to where they are now, but Masamune doesn't regret a single second of it.

The good things, the bad things, he's grateful for them all. Because it brought him here, to this moment, with Ritsu breathing, soft and even in their armchair, with one of his beloved books nearly falling out of his slack grip. To the light shining, reflecting off the smooth, unmarked silver band on Ritsu's finger. To knowing that, in spite of everything, the heartbreak and the confusion and the time wasted between them, they found their way back to each other.

And now, they have the rest of their lives. It's still hard to believe sometimes, that after everything, Masamune gets to marry Ritsu; the person who stole his heart over a decade ago without even knowing it. If it's a dream, he hopes he never wakes up.

Speaking of dreams, somebody needs to stop having them sitting up in a position that cannot be good for his back. "Ritsu." Masamune keeps his voice low and his touch gentle as he brushes the hair away from where it's falling into Ritsu's face. It really is getting long, he'll probably cut it soon. Masamune hopes he doesn't. In his extremely biased opinion, it suits Ritsu beautifully.

Ritsu's forehead creases and a soft, sleep-filled groan escapes him.

Masamune loves him, so much so that it hurts. He doesn't try to stop himself from giving in to the impulse that overtakes him to press a kiss to the top of Ritsu's head, then his cheek. "Hey, wake up."

Ritsu obliges him, albeit not without a low, sleepy whine of protest. His eyes slowly flutter open.

Masamune's heart twinges dangerously. This, right here, makes everything worth it, to him. "Sleep in a bed, dummy," he scolds lightly.

Ritsu lets out a huge yawn and attempts to rub the sleep out of his eyes with the back of his hand. "Wanted-" he yawns again. "To make sure you got home safe," he complains blearily.

Masamune's heart falters again because _fuck,_ Ritsu is not fair. He's going to be concerned about his health if this continues. Apparently, Ritsu is actually trying to kill him now. “Well, I'm home now,” he declares, and he doesn't think he'll ever get tired of saying that, now that home means _Ritsu,_ instead of just four walls and a roof.

Ritsu smiles, and nothing else in the world matters. "Welcome home, Masamune."

Emotion wells up in Masamune's chest at hearing those words, and if he were the sentimental type, they would have brought him to tears. They're pretty close to doing that anyway, though. "Yeah, I'm home." It's nice, saying that to someone other than Sorata, for once. Without thinking, he moves forward and presses his lips to Ritsu's.

A year ago, Ritsu would have screamed in outrage, shoved him away, and escaped back to the safety of his own apartment. Hell, a year ago, it was like pulling teeth just to get him to make eye contact. Now, he simply raises his arms, wraps them around Masamune's neck, and kisses back like he does everything else: fiercely and in a way that leaves Masamune breathless

They've come a long way from where they started, as Oda and Saga. A long way from the pain and confusion and uncertainty that had hung over their heads in the early days of their reunion, before they finally managed to find some middle ground not burned ten years ago. A long way from promises of  _'I'll make you fall in love with me'_ being countered with  _'This is not love!'_  

It was a difficult, uphill battle, but he'll be damned if being with Ritsu now hasn't made it worth every single step.

Masamune will never know how he got lucky enough to have fallen in love with Ritsu, or to have gotten him back after he thought he'd lost him forever. All he can do is be thankful, and make sure not to let Ritsu slip through his fingers ever again.

Sounds easy enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I think it's just starting to sink in that there's only one more chapter left in this fic. I've never written anything longer than a one shot to completion. Ugh, I'm getting emotional!!! Which is ridiculous, because I'm not even going anywhere smh.
> 
> Also: This chapter was both the easiest and the hardest thing I've ever written for this fic. Easy, because as a person with a single parent who used to work nights, I had enough experience for the whole "coming home to an empty house" thing. But it was the hardest because!!! I don't!!! Like seeing my husband in pain!!!!! But also like I had to pretty much wing the shit out of everything because we legit know almost nothing about Masamune's past in the manga/anime so like... Nakamura, give me the forbidden, painful history of my beloved Masamune I Need To Know These Things. 
> 
> P.S- Next time, the final chapter: Keeping Quiet, Speaking Up, and Being Heard. (Or: five times Ritsu Onodera doesn't say "I love you", and one time he does.)


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping quiet, speaking up, and being heard. (Or, five times Ritsu Onodera doesn't say "I love you", and one time he does.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it.
> 
> I have too many things to say and not enough words to say them. For now I just... thank you. All of you. There's more, so much more. But I'll save it for the end notes.
> 
> (Also: Ritsu ends up saying 'I love you' more than once. Oops ;)

_One._

The first time Ritsu Onodera doesn't say 'I love you', he's eight years old, and he's just starting to learn that being an Onodera is different from being part of a normal family.

Normal people don't have houses like his, he thinks. Huge and full of fancy things he's not allowed to touch and empty, unused rooms. The other kids at school definitely don't. (Maybe that's why they avoid him?) But they do because his parents liked it, and because they need to put up a good appearance, they tell them, whatever that means.

(Appearances, appearances, appearances. He'll soon come to hate that word, but that's later.)

His mom and dad are very important people, he's been told many times. Especially his dad, who is in charge of their family's very big, well-known company. That's why they aren't home very much. Lots of people need to talk to them all the time, about lots of boring, adult stuff that he wouldn't be interested in. He still doesn't completely understand it, but that's okay, people tell him. He'll learn all about it when he's older since he'll be the one who takes over when his dad retires.

Ritsu doesn't really want to know more, and he really doesn't want to take over the company. That sounds so  _boring._ But the adults just laugh at him when he says that, so eventually, he stops saying it. He only wants to read and play. Sometimes in his room, but sometimes it's more fun at An's house, where he at least has someone to talk to besides the books on his bookshelf.

He likes An. His mom likes An, too. That's why they're getting married when they grow up, even though An is a girl, and likes decorating things more than reading. Still, An is nice and pretty, and she promised that she doesn't have cooties like other girls, so it's okay, he guesses. He doesn't really want to get married at all -would rather live alone in a library, overflowing with his favorite books- but saying so would make An and his mom sad, so he doesn't. (He won't say anything until it's far too late to do so without hurting everyone involved.)

People tell him how excited he should be to have the honor of inheriting his dad's business when he gets older, and how lucky he is to be marrying a girl like An, who's family is nearly as influential as his own.

Ritsu wonders why they always say the same thing. If they're so excited about it, then they can take over the company and marry An. He doesn't want to!

Soon, his parents stop laughing and ruffling his hair when he says that. Soon, they start getting upset, instead. 

Ritsu doesnt like that.

He doesn't want to run his dad's company, and he still doesn't want to marry An, but he doesn't want to make his parents sad, either. So, if that's what they think is best, he'll do it. They may not be home most of the time, but they do love him (they tell him so all the time.) and he loves them, too. They only want what's best for him, (they say that all the time, too.) and Ritsu believes them. He has no reason not to, after all. They give him so many presents and books and anything else he wants, he should just go along with it, right? They'd never been upset, or genuinely angry with him before he'd started talking back to them. Maybe if he stops, they'll go back to the way they were.

However, as with many other things in his life, he doesn't get much of a choice in the matter.

One afternoon, they tell him that there's going to be a big party at their house because his dad's company just made a lot more money. (Why do they need more money? Don't they have enough?) They tell him to be on his best behavior, and he promises that he will. They smile at him and pat his head, and tell him what a good young man he's growing into. Tell him that he'll be ready to take over the company in no time.

For a little bit, it's like before. For a little bit, Ritsu is proud of himself. He still doesn't want to run the company when he gets older, but he keeps that information to himself, now. 

Everything is fine, even though the party is  _really_ boring, and the only person he can talk to that's his age is An. Everything is not fine when he tries to give a glass of the weird, bad smelling drinks he isn't allowed to have to his father.

He doesn't mean to, but he's not used to the tight, uncomfortable shoes he's wearing that pinch his toes painfully. He trips.

The pale pink dress the wife of their most important guest is wearing does not look as pretty with the big red stain.

His mother is furious.

He tries over and over again to apologize, but she won't listen to him. Won't look at him. Instead, she grabs his wrist and drags him away and to his room. She doesn't let him say goodbye to An, and that's how Ritsu knows how mad she really is. It hurts (both how roughly she hauls him up the stairs and the tightness in his chest) but Ritsu doesn't say anything. He also doesn't leave his room for the rest of the night.

He knows that he's a big boy now, so he shouldn't cry. He does anyway.

The next day, when he gets home from school, his mom still won't even look at him. It hurts worse than the iron grip she'd crushed his wrist with last night. The 'I love you' he'd planned to say dies on his lips, and, fighting back more tears, he goes up to his room; still nice and full of books, but empty and too big for him all the same.

He doesn't get the opportunity to say those words again for a long, long time.

* * *

_Two._

The second time Ritsu doesn't say 'I love you', he's fifteen, and he's already said it quite enough for one day.

He really hadn't meant to confess in the first place, and he's still not sure how the hell it happened. The butterflies that soared in his stomach whenever he saw  _him,_  were supposed to stay firmly contained in the jars he put them in. The warm, light, inexplicably genuine and precious feelings he tried his damndest to fight down were supposed to go  _-unsaid-_  with him to his grave.

Of course, because this is his life, the butterflies had escaped, and the feelings had overflowed. At such a simple, thoughtless question, no less.

_Why do you know my name?_

Thousands of possible responses had floated to the surface of his mind at once, but what else was Ritsu supposed to answer that with but the truth?  _"Because I love you."_

The second the words had been said, icy terror had struck his heart.  _'Stupid, stupid,_ stupid!' How could he have been so careless? Nobody, especially not  _him,_ was ever supposed to know.

Silence had been the only response to his outburst, let into the world too early, too abruptly muttered with no rhyme or reason to back it up. With a heavy heart, tense and ready to break any moment, he'd braced himself for the inevitable rejection. But it never came. Only a casual:  _You want to go out with me? I don't mind._

Ritsu had expected a lot of things at that moment, but  _that_  had not been one of them. He's still convinced, even almost a month later, that the rejection will come, one day. It has to. Nothing else makes any sense. Until it does, though, Ritsu really needs to tone it down. He's a lovestruck fool, sure, but he's not an idiot.

Masamune Saga (holy  _shit,_ no matter how many times he realizes it, Ritsu still can't believe that  _Saga-senpai_ agreed to go out with  _him)_ is going to get sick of him if he keeps it up with the spontaneous, unwarranted love confessions, and that's the absolute last thing that he wants.

Still, Ritsu can't seem to keep his cool, wherever Saga is concerned. It isn't possible. Not when he just  _loves_ him so much...

"Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Ritsu very nearly jumps out of his skin. Saga's voice, low and quiet as it is, (and unexpectedly soothing, when he wants it to be. But only when the two of them are alone, in his room or that one time in the library, and he's trying to get Ritsu to calm down so that he can kiss him properly. Which usually leads to… well, a lot  _more_ than kissing.) never fails to surprise him when he realizes that  _he_ is the one it's being directed at. This entire situation is surreal. "S-sorry," he says, internally wincing at the stutter.

Saga huffs, a small, vaguely amused thing. "Do you ever stop apologizing," he asks curiously.

Ritsu wishes the ground underneath his chair would swallow him whole. Why does he always act so  _weird_ in front of Saga? "Sorry," he apologizes again lamely, resisting the nearly overwhelming urge that's just come over him to run and hide away in the tall, wooden bookshelves. 

Saga raises an eyebrow, but doesn't bother wasting his breath on scolding Ritsu's bad habit yet again. Not that Ritsu blames him. "I'll take that as a no, then," he decides.

Ritsu resists the urge to drop his head onto the table in front of him. It would probably make too much noise, though, and he has way too much respect for libraries to commit such a heinous crime. "Sorry," he says weakly.

Saga laughs incredulously.

Ritsu's heart skips a beat at the rare sound. Hearing Saga laugh is as uncommon as Ritsu  _not_  stumbling over his words and shoving his foot into his mouth whenever he's near the older boy. He knows he says it a lot, too often to be normal -  _he's_ even getting tired of hearing himself say it, to be honest- but he just… loves everything about Saga.  _He loves him he loves him he loves him-_

Saga sighs in defeat and saves Ritsu from humiliating himself with another, unprompted confession in the nick of time. "We're never going to get your math homework finished, are we?"

Ritsu actually wants to die. "I'm sorry!" He winces when his voice comes out to loud in the luckily empty library.

The corners of Saga's lips turn up. If Ritsu didn't know any better, he'd think he was fighting back a smile or something. "I don't mind it." He shrugs. He says that a lot, Ritsu's noticed. He wonders, (silently, because it's not his place and he doesn't want to pry) if he's truly as unbothered by any and every situation as he appears, or if he just…actually doesn't care about anything.

The power of Ritsu's rose-colored glasses, strong as they are, is not enough to keep him from seeing the glaringly obvious signs that his boy… his boyfrie-  _that Saga_ is having a less than ideal home life at the moment. The way Saga keeps them in a little bubble, up in his room, distracting Ritsu with frantic kisses that electrify his skin and make breathing something impossible, heated touches and sensations that make him forget his own name, and shaky, uneven breathing that clouds his thoughts, is not enough to keep him from noticing how empty Saga's house is whenever he's there.

He's not sure what he can do, never mind that it's none of his business, to begin with, but he wishes he could do  _something_ to help the person he loves.

"I am curious about something, though," Saga starts, unknowingly tearing Ritsu from his thoughts about, well, Saga, yet again.

Ritsu's head snaps up, faster than lightning. "Yes? What is it?" He's in his element, right now, surrounded by books. If Saga wants to know something, he can and will find the information at any cost.

As usual, though, Saga only deigns to ask questions Ritsu can't find the answers to in a book. "You seem like you're really smart," he says offhandedly, like he's commenting on the weather.

Ritsu very nearly goes into cardiac arrest that instant. It shouldn't be so easy for such a simple compliment to affect him this way, but he's always been quick to fluster, and Saga has always been the one person who can make his skin flush and his heart stutter as easy as breathing.

"So how is it that you're so  _bad_ at math?" Saga almost sounds impressed.

A small part of Ritsu dies in that moment. "I don't  _know,"_  he admits, giving up and letting his head land heavily on the strangely magnetic wooden table. "I'm good at reading, and words," he says confidently, forgetting to be an anxious mess for a second. "Not all these  _numbers!"_

Saga openly snickers at him. Ritsu internally debates the pros and cons of fleeing the country and changing his identity. (Or just going completely back to using his real last name. Seriously, why the hell had he changed it to  _Oda_  on the library cards?) "But there are letters in math," he points out, lips quirked slightly.

Ritsu groans. "That just makes it worse!" His words come out muffled by the table. Honestly, who in the world had decided that it was a good idea to mix the alphabet with  _math?_

Saga laughs, and Ritsu's despair lifts the tiniest bit. He really does love that sound, despite its rarity. He wishes he could figure out how to make it a less uncommon occurrence. "Ah, so you're the type of person who needs incentive for certain tasks. Got it."

"Huh?" Ritsu lifts his head. He has no idea what Saga is talking about. Not that that's anything new.

Without warning, Saga moves in closer, leaning in and tilting his head down to look directly at Ritsu. Their noses are less than an inch apart. Ritsu -heart already racing- jolts instinctively. "After this," he says, voice low and rumbling like it only ever is around Ritsu, for some reason. "Do you want to sleep over at my place, tonight?"

Ritsu's heart stops, and then wildly speeds up in less than half a second. Masamune Saga is not good for his health. "You- you can't just _ask_ that so suddenly," he informs Saga hysterically, feeling strangely lightheaded.

"Why?" Saga doesn't even blink.

Ritsu can't find the words to explain that if Saga keeps dropping bombshells like that, he is reasonably convinced that he'll explode. "It's, it's not that I don't  _want_ to…" he says quietly, face exploding into flames at the admittance. "But what will your parents think, if they notice that you have me over so much," he asks worriedly. The last thing he wants is to cause trouble for Saga.

Saga shrugs. "They won't notice," he says with all the confidence Ritsu lacks. "They're almost never home anyway," he points out much too casually for such a somber statement.

Ritsu's heart twinges, as it always does when Saga makes one of his offhand comments like that. He doesn't want to meddle in something that's not his business, and he doesn't want to pressure Saga into talking about things too personal to somebody he's been dat… dati-  _dating_ (holy crap, he  _said it!),_ for all of four and a half weeks. But he hopes that Saga knows he can confide in him if he wanted to.

It's cheesy and cliche and taken right out of the book of nearly every bad romance novel Ritsu has ever read, but he wants to be there for the person he loves, if nothing else.

"Well?" Saga pokes his forehead when he takes too long to answer. "Yes or no? I didn't ask you a math question."

Ritsu bites his lip, but he only hesitates for a moment. He considers that quite the achievement for him; somebody who usually never stops hesitating. "I'll come over."

Saga's eyes widen. He leans back, but Ritsu still can't seem to catch his breath. It looks like he didn't expect Ritsu to agree so easily. 'Really," he asks, sounding as surprised as he looks.

Ritsu feels a bit proud at being the one to catch  _him_ off guard, for once. "Yes." He nods firmly.

Saga clear his throat and turns a page in the book that he's holding nonchalantly. Ritsu's pretty sure he isn't actually paying attention to it. "Then, you'd better hurry up and finish your math homework," he suggests idly. It's hard to see his face, but it looks like the edges of his mouth are pulling upwards into something dangerously close to a smile.

Ritsu was barely three questions in, but he finishes his homework less than fifteen minutes later.

It isn't just because he's excited to visit Saga's house again, even though  _Saga's house_ inevitably means that Ritsu will end up pressed into a bed too small for two people unable to move, think, or  _breathe_ as Saga looms over him and tells him yet again to  _'Open your mouth when we kiss'._ (He tries to, but it's hard when he remembers exactly  _who_ the one hovering over him and whispering in his ear is and his heart threatens to give out.) And it isn't because he's arrogant enough to think that he's somebody special to Saga.

He said it already, but he's not stupid. He knows that Saga is most likely going out with him because he's bored. Not out of any type of love. (Though sometimes, late at night when he wakes up with Saga's arms wrapped around him tightly, it's easy to forget that.) Still, all Ritsu wants is to be with the one he loves. Plain and simple. If he can be even a small, insignificant part of something to help Saga be less lonely, then that's enough for him.

As they walk, side by side this time, to Saga's house, the butterflies swarm, and the 'I love you ' threatens to spill past Ritsu's lips. But he doesn't want to disturb the companionable silence between them with useless words he already says too often, so he doesn't say it.

(That doesn't stop it from being true, though. Not even ten years later. But again, that's a story for another time.)

* * *

_Three._

The third time Ritsu doesn't say 'I love you', he's twenty-five, and a lot more bitter and jaded than he was ten years ago.

Having your heart ripped out of your chest by the one person you've ever genuinely loved will do that, he supposes. Or maybe his soured personality has something to with the fact that in his entire company, not a single one of his coworkers thinks he gives a shit about his job; one of the only things he  _does_ give a shit about. Most likely, it's a combination of both.

That's what he tries to convince himself, anyways. He doesn't want to give  _him_ all the credit.

Whatever. Ritsu doesn't care. It's not like he's still hung up on the guy he dated for a few months in high school or anything. It's not like he's spent nearly every waking moment for the last ten years trying to forget about the hole in his chest where his heart used to be. ( _That person,_ as An calls him, still has it. He tries not to think about that.) It's not like he lies awake at night replaying the few memories he has of dark hair, a low, soothing, rumbling voice, and gentle touches that still burn his skin, cursing himself for being such an  _idiot,_ and falling in love so irreversibly. It's not like he constantly wonders what the  _hell_ he did wrong.

(Okay, he definitely does. But he tries not to think about that, either.)

He tries to drown himself in work, and forget all the asinine, useless  _what ifs_ and  _maybes_ that have haunted him since that night. He has a troublesome author, so it isn't too terribly difficult to distract himself. Akihiko Usami is the company's number one best seller for a reason. Without a doubt, he is a genius; able to twist and bend words to his will and end up with a flawless result every time. He doesn't write, he creates. Ritsu respects him. He admires him. Hell, he's been a fan of his work for damn near over a decade.

But for the love of god, Ritsu  _cannot_ work with him! Between  _"Deadlines mean nothing to me", and_   _"I can't write if I'm not entertained and inspired",_ Ritsu nearly strangles him more than once. If he has to explain why the deadline has been missed  _one more time,_ he's going to scream. To everyone that's ever said how "Lucky" he was to have gotten chosen as Usami's editor so soon after being hired: You can have him!

Needless to say, his attempts to drown himself in work are not very successful. Truthfully, it feels more like work drowns him. It shouldn't be so hard to breathe, just because a couple of jealous editors he happens to work with accuse him of nepotism, instead of considering that perhaps, if they did more than stand around and whine about how terrible their assigned authors are, they might be more than second rate. And yet, it is.

The day he quits, he finally takes a deep breath for the first time in almost over a decade. (For the first time in his life, if he's being honest.) His father is… displeased, when Ritsu announces his intentions of transferring to a different publishing company, and his mother is even more so. Ritsu can't bring himself to feel too sorry about that.

Maybe this is the chance to start over that he's been looking for. To stand on his own two feet, without his parents and his insecurities and the fact that he worked at a building that shared his damned last name crippling him. Maybe now is the time for him to make a name for  _himself,_ and to tell everyone who ever told him he wasn't good enough to go straight to hell.

That hope lasts all of ten minutes after he walks through the doors on his first day.

Marukawa is certainly different from Onodera publishing. For one thing, eyes don't follow him everywhere he goes; narrowed and darkly glittering with none-too-subtle resentment. It's decidedly refreshing. But that doesn't matter one bit when he learns about the  _other_  thing…

"Shoujo manga?!"

It has to be some kind of mistake. A misprint or a typo or a wrongly filed application. Or maybe it's some kind of sick joke. He doesn't know a damn thing about manga.  _Literature_  is his thing. It's all he knows! Surely, they can't actually expect him to-

"But it says right here: midyear recruitment of Ritsu Onodera into Marukawa Publishing's Shoujo Manga Department."

Ritsu tries everything he can think of to talk his way out of this. But in the end, he figures he doesn't have much of a choice. Surprise surprise; what else is new?

Marukawa's Emerald Department is… nothing like Ritsu expects. It's infinitely worse. The aura of gloom and doom surrounding the place is nearly enough to turn Ritsu right back around and out the front doors he came in through. The employees, he guesses, look more like zombies than any editors he's ever seen. If this is his future, he wants even less to do with it now, than he did earlier.

Kisa, Mino, and Hatori seem, uh, nice. (Hopefully, they smell better after a shower.) The boss, on the other hand, is another story altogether.

Ritsu can't stand Takano. He's rude, he's crude, and he hardly gives a shit that Ritsu doesn't want to be here any more than he wants him here. And then, to top it off: he sexually harasses Ritsu no less than one (1) hour after they meet. (What the  _fuck_ was that kiss about?!) He doesn't know how the hell Takano was so highly rated, and Ritsu's not sure if he believes the rumors that he basically managed to build the Emerald magazine from scratch. He refuses to admit that's somebody so…  _Takano_ could have accomplished such a feat on his own.

 _"Useless,"_ he calls Ritsu, like he knows anything about him.

The nerve! Ritsu will show him useless! He'll do his job and he'll do it well, thank you very much. As if he cares how useless Takano considers him. He can go take a long walk off a short pier!

At least, that's what Ritsu thinks at first. Soon enough, though, and against his better judgment, he's forced to admit that there's more to Takano than the aloof, disinterested editor-in-chief that meets the eye. Ritsu still thinks that he's aloof and disinterested, don't get him wrong. Not to mention a veritable tyrant. Regardless, he can't deny that, when push comes to shove, Takano is a decent guy. One who won't leave his authors hanging. He hates it say it, but when he learns that, it may lessen his outright hatred of Takano to a dull dislike. That's  _it,_ though. He respects the guy; nothing more, nothing less.

(Although, maybe  _respect_ isn't the right word here. Maybe it's more like, admiration? No, that's not right, either.)

The more time Ritsu spends around him, the more he can't stop noticing that something about Takano is vaguely, irritatingly familiar. (It's not just his attractive face, but Ritsu is guilty of staring at that more than he'll ever admit, as well.)

Takano apparently agrees if the way he keeps  _staring,_ and never tearing his eyes away from Ritsu is any indication. But he pisses him off so much that Ritsu pretends the nostalgic, unexplainable feeling of déjà vu that pierces his chest whenever he accidentally looks into those questioning, amber eyes isn't there. Tries to pretend that Takano -callous and careless and confoundingly kind he is when he wants to be- doesn't make his heart beat harder than it has in ten years.

Eventually, when he finds himself flat on his back and pressed down into the leather couch in the breakroom, he considers that it's possible that he may have gone about this in the wrong way.

The weight on top of him is heavy, warm, and terrifyingly familiar. "Maybe now you'll remember me," Takano says, before leaning in and turning Ritsu's world upside down once again.

It's fire and ice and everything at once.  _Oh,_ Ritsu remembers this, alright. The burning in his lips and the tingling in his body and the pounding of his heart. Has been trying to forget about it for the last decade to no avail. But he doesn't know why. Why does  _Takano,_ of all people, make his heart race and his body ache and his mind cloud in the way only one other person ever has? They haven't even known each other for a week. None of this makes any sense!

Answers make it worse. "My parents split up in high school. My name used to be Saga. Masamune Saga."

Ritsu, dazed and confused and still frozen on that damn leather couch, doesn't move as Takano takes his leave. His brain is too busy trying to process  _that_ nonsensical statement to spare any effort for anything else.

Saga Masamune.  _(Why does Ritsu know that name?)_

Saga. Masamune. _(Why does his chest tighten at those six little syllables. Why does that name strike him with such a powerful stab of excitement and confusion and pain?)_

Ritsu's mind finally clicks. Suddenly, he  _knows._   _Saga-senpai?_

An empty room has never felt so crowded and suffocating. Ritsu can't breathe. No. No, no, no, no,  _no!_ No. Fucking. Way! This can  _not_ be happening! Takano  _cannot_ be  _Saga._  Takano  _cannot_ be the person Ritsu's been looking for and hiding from for all this time. He can't be the person Ritsu's been trying to forget, while desperately remembering since he was fifteen.  _This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this can't be happening!_

But it is, somehow. It doesn't matter that the hair is darker, messier, and styled completely differently from back then. It doesn't matter that the face and the attitude are both sharper and harder than in high school. Against all odds and logic,  _Takano is Saga._

What the  _fuck!?_

What the  _hell_ is Ritsu supposed to do about this? He'd already dreaded coming back to work tomorrow when Takano was merely his boss. Now he has to come back knowing  _this?_ That Takano, Saga, whatever the hell his name is now, is the one that tore out his fifteen-year-old, not yet scarred and broken heart and then laughed about it? That Takano is  _here,_ closer than he's been since the night Ritsu learned better than to blindly trust people with important things like his heart, which he had unforgettably learned are oh-so breakable?

No.

Ritsu refuses to let this insignificant detail change anything. Saga-  _Takano,_ has been the star of his every darkest nightmare and wildest daydream for far too long. He refuses to allow himself to dedicate even a single second more than he already has to that man for the last ten years. Refuses to play along with whatever game Takano is playing at.

But first, Ritsu wants  _answers,_ dammit! He wants to know what the hell Takano kissed him for. He wants to know where the hell Takano gets off thinking that he has any right to make him feel things he hasn't since he was a first year in high school. But mostly, he wants to know  _why._ Why did Takano waste so much time on him back then? Why did he bother to make Ritsu think that it was safe to give his heart to him, if he was just going to rip it in half without a second thought, anyway?

Rising from the couch, Ritsu chases after Takano. He tries to ignore how that is something that hasn't changed in the slightest these past ten years.

Sa- no,  _Takano_  is getting further and further away.

Ritsu won't allow that. So he thinks he can just drop a bombshell like that and then run away like it was nothing? To hell with that. Ritsu has been waiting a long time for this moment, and he'll be damned if he lets it, lets  _him_ slip away from him so easily.

Takano -who Ritsu can't help but notice is so unfairly tall now- (and still ridiculously attractive, though in a different way than he was at eighteen. Damn, Saga grew up well.) has the gall to look unimpressed when Ritsu stops him.

Ritsu doesn't give two shits. It's terrifying, but incredibly validating and freeing when he  _finally_ gets the things that have been weighing down the shattered remains of his heart for so long off his chest.

Takano's explanation -aside from the unfortunate news that he and his family had spectacularly fallen apart, even more than Ritsu had imagined back then- (hey, he's no stranger to family issues; despite what Takano and everyone else in the damn world seems to think) is hysterically weak. First of all, he doesn't even have the decency to  _remember_ how he took Ritsu's heart and crushed it without even blinking, which ignites a fury more powerful than any emotion Ritsu has felt for the last ten years within him.  _Nervous_   _laughter,_ he says, like that makes anything better or acceptable.

Fuck that. Ritsu will  _not_ have his anger, his confusion, and especially the paralyzing, all-encompassing pain he's been trying with everything he's got to breathe through since that night be brushed off by such a pathetic excuse. Takano needs to try harder than that.

Takano doesn't. He does, however, say some absurd things. Like: "Then it's fine for me to seduce you again, right?" Or: "No matter who I was with, I couldn't forget you." And the most absurd of all: "I'll make you fall in love with me again."

Ritsu's heart stutters dangerously. Outrage, wrath, and hurt all swirl around in his head, but Takano leaves before he can do anything to release them properly, the bastard.

There's a lot of (too much, holy shit) new and puzzling information, here. It's hard to organize what he knows into a single, coherent list, but this is what he has so far:

1\. He fell (stupidly, inexplicably, and irreversibly) in love with Saga when he was twelve.

2\. He confessed (thanks to the shock of Saga suddenly being  _right in front of him,_ and a temporary lapse of his brain-to-mouth filter) three years later, when he was fifteen.

3\. Saga agreed to go out with him. (For whatever reason.)

4\. Not all of it, certainly, but most of their relationship (if you can call it that) was actually… good. Ritsu started getting comfortable, and falling even more in love with Saga than he'd been before.

5\. Saga broke his heart.

6\. Ritsu suffered through ten agonizing years of trying to pick up the fractured pieces of that heart. (Not much progress, there.)

7\. Saga is Takano.

8\. Somehow (in spite of the ten,  _long_ years spent separated) he managed to recognize Ritsu after less than a week of working together.

9\. He kissed Ritsu.  _(Twice!)_

10\. As of now, he seems to be under the delusion that Ritsu is going to just drop everything and run right back into his arms? And forget everything bad that happened between them that drove them apart in the first place?

Hah! As if. Ritsu hasn't let anyone have his heart since he was fifteen years old. Like hell is he going to hand it over on a silver platter again so easily.  _Especially_ to Takano. 

Ritsu, for better or for worse, is not the same, naive little boy he was when he fell into Takano's web the first time. (Takano can thank himself, for that one.) So, he thinks he can… what? Win Ritsu back with a few pretty words and a half-assed, meaningless apology like that? Does he think a kiss and an empty promise are enough to balance out the way Ritsu's very soul became as twisted and jaded as it is now because of him?

Yeah, no. Over Ritsu's cold, dead body, maybe, and not a moment sooner.

So what if Ritsu's heart had jumped when he'd noticed Takano staring at him earlier, before Ritsu had known who he truly was. So what if that same heart had stopped when Takano had vowed to make him fall in love with him again? So what if the blazing sincerity in his amber eyes when he'd said he'd never been able to forget Ritsu made his breath catch in his throat? So what if, for just an instant, Ritsu had let himself  _want_. Want to forgive and forget. Want to be happy and foolish and let himself fall for Sa- Takano again? None of it means a damn thing.

His head may be light, and his chest may be full with the butterflies that he thought had escaped ten years ago, but he'll be  _damned_ if he lets that sway him.

This is  _not_ love!

He can't, and  _won't_  let it be. (Not again.)

* * *

_Four._

For the fourth time (of what will become many, many more) Ritsu does not say 'I love you.' It's not difficult, at first.

Ritsu feels many things towards Takano, at the beginning. Love is assuredly not one of them. Resentment? Maybe. Caution and wariness? Oh, of course. Distrust and suspicion and skepticism? You know it. But  _love?_ Hardly.

Takano is none too thrilled with the icy silent treatment he gets from Ritsu for the first few weeks.

Ritsu would be greatly pleased, if he didn't spend half his time finding new ways to avoid the guy. Saga has become increasingly persistent over the years.  _And,_ here's the best part: they live Right. Next. Door to each other. How lucky. The universe hates him lately, he guesses. He really needs to move; nevermind that he doesn't have the money for it, and his parents most likely aren't going to start speaking to him again anytime soon, since they had been against him moving to begin with. Turns out, they had been more upset by his transferring to Marukawa than they'd let on. Shocker.

The confusion surrounding Takano, the stress of work, and now his parents, all combine to make every day a living hell. A deep ache settles into his stomach that he doubts any medicine could help. He learns to live with it, after a while.

His daily schedule looks something like this: Wake up too late, run around in a frenzy and grab an energy drink on his way out the door, run to the elevator and pray Takano doesn't leave his apartment until the doors have slid closed, go to work, avoid Takano some more, flounder and suffer while trying to learn a genre that's never interested him in his life, leave on time or stay late to ensure that he doesn't have to endure a suffocating train ride with Takano, maybe buy a convenience store dinner at the shop by the train station, get home, make sure Takano isn't lingering around in the hallways or anything, get inside and lock the door (that last part is very important), and pass out either on the couch or just in the doorway. Then, feeling more exhausted than when he fell asleep, wake up the next day to do it all over again. Fantastic.

Now, if only Takano would let Ritsu ignore him, and the conflicting, complicated, confuzzling feelings that come with him in  _peace,_ everythingwould be fine.

Takano, of course, does no such thing. Rather, he uses every excuse he can think of to get Ritsu alone.

Ritsu does his damn best to make sure that doesn't happen. And really, if this -being cool and haughty while at work, and then pushy and demanding elsewhere- is how he plans to make good on his promise to make Ritsu fall in love with him again, then there might not be much of a problem, after all. He may have been quiet and mysterious and handsome in high school, (okay, he's still pretty handsome now. You didn't hear that from Ritsu.) but as a boss, he's easily the most infuriating person Ritsu's ever met.

He's unsympathetic, uncompromising, and impossibly hard to please, on a good day. If that's all he was, though, there wouldn't be an issue. 

Takano being a tyrant, a slave driver, and a perfectionist, Ritsu can handle. But Takano, damn him, isn't like that when they're alone together; something that begins to happen with increasing frequency, much to Ritsu's chagrin, and despite his best efforts. It's harder to ignore the way his chest hums and his head clouds over and his heart beats faster than he wants it to because of Takano when the barrier of distractions and other people are absent.

When they're alone, Takano is…  _nice._ Well, as nice as he is probably capable of being, anyway. He's a bit quieter and more patient. If Ritsu actually  _asks for help,_ something he hates doing more than anything, Takano doesn't make fun of him like he usually does. He's actually a decent teacher, whenever he isn't busy being a sarcastic asshole. He's also more prone to spontaneous declarations of love. It's funny, how their roles have changed in that respect.

But the craziest thing is this: he  _believes_ in Ritsu. Says he wasn't worried even when Ritsu messes up phenomenally with his first author, Ms. Mutou. Nobody's ever done that, before.

The difference between editor-in-chief Takano and Alone-with-Ritsu Takano is staggering, and it makes Ritsu's head spin and his heart flutter dangerously. In spite of himself, and against every one of his instincts, he finds himself letting his guard down around Takano. Finds himself batting away the hands that scorch his skin wherever they touch less viscously than he had before. Finds himself giving in all too easily whenever Takano's touch clouds his judgment and lights a desperate fire beneath his skin where his fingers draw a map on Ritsu's body.

 _'Dammit. What the hell am I doing,'_ he asks himself every time. He never can find the answer. He came to Marukawa to  _work._ Not to have the one person he'll never allow himself to fall for again confuse him like this. 

Takano, damn him, doesn't relent. Not that he ever has. For every inch Ritsu unwittingly gives, he takes a mile. But it's the quiet moments; the  _I wasn't worried_ or the  _I've always liked that about you_ or the  _good work_  and _I'm counting on you_ ,that are the most hazardous to Ritsu's resolve. 

Ritsu doesn't know what to do.

He says a lot of things. Things he doesn't mean, and worse: things he  _does._  But no matter what hurtful, barbed words he says in a fruitless attempt to keep Takano away, Takano stays. No matter how hard he tries to keep up the steel walls he built around himself and his heart when he was fifteen, Takano breaks down all his barriers that had used to stand so strong with ease. It's infuriating. It's confusing. It's  _scary_ how Takano can tear down his defenses and invade his every waking thought without even trying.

Takano, irritatingly, only presses further. Day after day, week after week, month after month. Ritsu gets tired of pushing back. In the middle of the day, in the dead of night, and in Takano's arms, he finds himself thinking: maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to fall for Takano again?

He really needs to stop doing that, one of these days. Letting himself trust people, he means. It never had worked out very well, before. He ought to have learned his lesson by now.

Yokozawa complicates things. (Like they weren't already complicated enough.)

He's brash, he's cold, and he's ruthless to anyone and everyone. Except for Takano, sometimes. He still picks fights with Takano on a practically daily basis. But then, after all the fighting and the bickering and the insults, he calls Takano by his first name. He makes Takano smile.  _Genuinely._ (Ritsu's never been able to do that.) He tells Ritsu it's his fault that Takano is as messed up as he is now, and Ritsu believes him. He tells Ritsu that Takano was hurt because of him, and Ritsu believes him. He tells Ritsu that he loves Takano, and Ritsu believes him.

After that, he isn't sure what to think, anymore. Dammit, he'd changed offices and careers to prove that he wasn't some spoiled, useless company heir. Not for  _this._ This drama and distraction and dizzying turmoil that's starting to tear him apart from the inside out. Damn Takano! Why is he the only thing Ritsu can think about?

Yokozawa warns him to stay away from Takano. Ritsu can't figure out why that stings or petrifies him so much. Sure, Takano renders him unable to think. Unable to run away like he knows he should whenever he finds himself pressed against Takano's wall or his floor or in his bed. (Time has not made him any better at denying Takano when they're alone.) Unable to  _breathe_ more often than Ritsu will ever admit, but it's not like he's going out with Takano, or anything as outrageous as that.

Ritsu isn't jealous, though. The heavy, unbearable mass of confusion and hurt that drops into his stomach when he sees them together means nothing, he tells himself. It gets weaker every time he has to repeat it. It's not as if seeing Takano let someone else so close to him, after all his talk about how Ritsu is the one he wants bothers him. That would be ridiculous.

_And yet…_

All it takes is a lot of time, and a little push from Takano, and Ritsu is helpless to stop the words and true feelings he's been trying his hardest to keep locked away come pouring out. It seems that the years have not lessened the power Takano has to make Ritsu confess everything he's thinking at the drop of a hat.

Takano tells him he and Yokozawa aren't dating. That "I'm telling you, the one I love is  _you."_ It takes a few times for it to finally sink in, and for Ritsu to actually believe him, but eventually (after too many poor choices and nights of getting swept away that he curses Takano, himself, and his heart that should know better already for. Still, he can't bring himself to regret it too terribly much), he does.

"I've loved you for ten years now," Takano declares, with the snow falling softly, silently around them. It's like something straight out of a fairytale. For a moment, Ritsu believes that, too, and accepts that resisting Takano is useless. He doesn't know why he bothers trying anymore.

The information does  _not_ make Ritsu's heart soar. It doesn't make anything between them any different. It doesn't make Ritsu happier than he can ever describe, or more terrified, either.

Why would it? This is not love! It isn't!

(Too bad his stupid, fluttering, wavering heart no longer believes him when he says that.)

* * *

_Five._

The fifth time, Ritsu  _technically_  does say it.

A lot of things have changed.  _Ritsu_ has changed. Many people (Yokozawa, An, and Ritsu himself, to name a few) have tried to destroy any hope there was of him ever finally taking that last step, and falling, but he won't let it be delayed any longer. Ritsu gave up denying how he feels to himself a long time ago. Has long given up denying that the thought of losing Takano  _again_ doesn't terrify him to his core. It's almost happened too many times, now. 

Tying to keep these feelings he has (no matter how hard he'd tried to prevent them from forming) contained isn't working anymore. All it's doing is hurting himself, and Takano, too. They did enough damage to themselves in high school, he thinks. He needs to stop adding to it, already.

Ritsu is  _tired._ Tired of running. Tired of fighting Takano and his own feelings away from his heart, still scarred and incomplete, but healing, slowly but surely. Tired of pretending that Takano doesn't make his pulse race or his mind wonder  _what could have been_ and  _what could be._ Tired of denying that he wants to let all of the petty, useless spite and resentment he's carried with him for ten years go. And he's  _exhausted_ with trying to keep the words -that have been so, so desperate to escape for a long time if he's telling the truth- locked inside his chest.

Like it did when he was fifteen, the butterflies swarm. The words spill past his lips, and leave his heart racing and his legs trembling. "I love you," he says, feeling lighter and more excited and full of fear and anticipation than he has for a decade.

He barely has time to take a deep, shaky breath, though, before the rainstorm around them becomes thundering and deafening.

Rain becomes his new least favorite thing, after that.

Ritsu can't decide if he wants to laugh or cry. What a cruel joke, for his voice to be drowned out  _now,_ right as it was about to finally be heard. Why do things like this always happen to him at crucial moments?

Maybe it's a sign; that Ritsu needs to keep those sacred words to himself for a little while longer, no matter how much he doesn't want to. He doesn't like it, but for now, he will. He'll keep quiet, until the day (hopefully it comes soon) he won't have to.

(So, that time, he says it. But Takano doesn't doesn't hear him, so it doesn't count.)

* * *

It takes a long,  _long_ time, and many more obstacles for Ritsu to gather the desire, the willpower, and the courage to say those three little words again. When he does, though, the peace and tranquility and  _rightness_ that settles over him makes it all worth it.

"I love you," he says, and a weight worth ten years is lifted off his chest. "I have only ever loved you!"

Takano freezes, and looks at Ritsu; shock and wonder and amazement in his eyes and on his face. Then, he smiles. Wider and brighter, and more relieved and hopeful than Ritsu's ever seen.

It's terrifying, letting himself trust and hope and  _fall_ again, but Ritsu smiles, too. Because  _finally._

* * *

Months pass. Seasons change. Takano becomes Masamune, and Ritsu still loves him even more than he did when he was a hopeless fifteen-year-old.

Somehow, (after the denial and the stubbornness and the fear that had crippled Ritsu, and kept them frozen in place for too long) Masamune still loves him too, if the silver band he put on Ritsu's finger a few weeks ago says anything about it.

 _The rest of their lives, together._ It still doesn't seem real, no matter how many times he says it, or how long he stares at the shine glinting off the ring he now wears. But it is. Holy  _shit,_ it is. 

If someone had told Ritsu about a year ago that this would happen, he would have never believed them.  _Him,_  with  _Takano?_ Not a  _chance._  He probably would have tried to laugh it off, and ignore the warmth that would inevitably bloom on his face and in his chest. Then he would find a place to hide (he's very good at hiding. Either from people -except for Masamune, of course- or from his own, confounding emotions), and curse himself for being so obvious, and so stupidly head-over-heels that a complete stranger could see it.

Thank goodness he's passed all that, now. It was exhausting.

He loves the ring. More than he can say. Ritsu isn't normally one for jewelry, but he hardly even notices he's wearing it most of the time; it feels so  _right._ More than anything he can remember. Lately, however, he's been noticing how barren Masamune's own ring finger looks. A strange desire had pulled at his stomach the first time he'd realized it. He needs to remedy that.

He hopes Masamune likes silver.

The sound of the key unlocking the door makes his heart miss a beat, but it could also be because he knows  _who_ the one is on the other side of the door. "Ritsu," Masamune calls, closing the door behind him. "I'm home. You in here?"

Ritsu takes a deep breath.  _Showtime._ "Living room," he calls back, sparing a quick thanks that his voice isn't tremoring yet. Steady footsteps echo down the hallway, perfectly in tune with his pounding heart.

Masamune smiles when he rounds the corner and locks eyes with Ritsu. Ritsu's heart twinges, as if to tell him to  _hurry up, already!_ "There you are," he says, calm and mellow and content. It's unfairly sweet. "Hey, I was thinking: we should go out for dinner tonight. How about that new-"

Squeezing his unoccupied hand into a fist to gather his courage, Ritsu doesn't give Masamune a chance to spoil the surprise, or look around too carefully and see the way he's not very discreetly hiding his hand behind his back. Instead, he rushes forward and rises to his tiptoes to crash his lips to Masamune's in a painfully clumsy kiss.

Masamune doesn't seem to mind the clumsiness, though, if the way his wide eyes close and he instantly kisses back, before wrapping his arms around Ritsu's lower back to pull him closer is any indication.

Ritsu gasps when he's tugged forward, and his eyes slip shut as well. For a moment, he loses himself in the kiss, which isn't anything unusual, when it comes to situations like this. Masamune has always been good at making him unable to think clearly. It's both exasperating and exhilarating. But while kissing Masamune is always a(n extremely) pleasant experience, it's only a bonus of Ritsu's current mission. He needs to focus!

As planned, Masamune doesn't notice when the ring slides onto his finger. Thank goodness, it was the right size.

When Ritsu, with much difficulty, breaks the kiss, a small whine of complaint rumbles from the back of Masamune's throat. Ritsu decides he likes that sound. His hands aren't holding anything, now, but strangely, they don't feel empty without the small, silver band. He knows it's where it belongs.

Masamune doesn't remove his arms from where they're looped around Ritsu's hips. A lazy, catlike grin stretches across his face.  _"What,"_ he breathes, staring down at Ritsu with dazed, bewildered, thankfully pleased eyes. "Was  _that_ for? Not that I mind it," he claims hastily.

Ritsu's heart stutters. For once, he's sure he's making the right choice. Guess there really is a first time for everything. "No reason," he says, voice hoarse and low, as it usually is after he and Masamune kiss. Nervous anticipation squeezes his heart, and before he realizes it, his eyes have drifted down, to where Masamune's hand is splayed over his hip.

Masamune notices. Because of course he does. His eyes follow Ritsu's line of sight. "What's the matter," he asks, lifting his hand away from Ritsu. Ritsu holds his breath. "Is something wrong with my…  _oh."_

Ritsu feels him go completely still the second he sees the ring. His heart speeds up, and not only because Masamune's arms are wound around him, and they're still standing close enough to breathe the same air. Anxiety twists Ritsu's stomach into a painful knot. He's confident in his decision, for once, but this is still the most nerve-wracking thing he's ever done. How the  _hell_ did Masamune do this?

"What… is this?" Masamune's voice is more distant and disbelieving than Ritsu's ever heard it.

Ritsu releases the breath he'd been holding slowly. It doesn't help the tightness in his chest, much. "I thought it was about time we matched," he says, looking at the floor by his feet, which is significantly less likely to give him a heart attack than the man in front of him.

Masamune just stares at the band on his finger for a while.

For  _too long_  of a while. Ritsu's nerves start creeping up on him again, and if he could he would wring his hands. "If… if you don't like it I can take it back," he offers. His voice finally betrays him with a slight waver.

"No!" Masamune's eyes tear themselves away from the new addition on his finger. He looks into Ritsu's eyes imploringly. "I  _love_ it. I'm wearing it every day for the rest of my life," he vows solemnly.

Ritsu's lips turn upwards a bit. Relief warms his chest. Thank god, he was really starting to get scared, for a minute! "Good."

Masamune's eyes glimmer with too many emotions to name. "Ritsu…"

"Masamune, I love you."

Masamune inhales sharply. His hand that's still on Ritsu's hip tightens, most likely subconsciously, but never enough to be painful.

"I just," Ritsu bites his lip, and tentatively brings his eyes back up from the floor. "I've been thinking a lot, since this," he says, raising his hand and gesturing to the ring on his finger that now matches the one on Masamune's.

Masamune gapes, still looking flabbergasted. He opens his mouth and then closes it again without a word.

Good. Ritsu's not sure how much longer his resolve will last, and if he has to say any of this again, it's all over. "Ten years, five years, hell, even a year ago, I never thought we would end up like this. Not if I had anything to do with it.  _God,_ I was a stubborn idiot," he admits, glancing around their shared apartment, and then to the nonexistent space between them. Then, he looks back at Masamune, who's still watching him in wonder. He smiles. "I didn't think that I would fall for you, or anyone, again. That I would ever _let_ myself fall."

Masamune is still stunned speechless. Hope, and what even Ritsu can only call pure and unadulterated love glitters in his eyes. 

Looking at him right now, Ritsu isn't sure how he ever thought he or his heart stood a chance. "But I'm glad I did, and I'm glad it was you." Here, he has to stop and clear his throat. His voice is getting dangerously thick. "It still shocks me, sometimes, when I think about how much everything has changed from that first day we accidentally met each other again. About how much  _I've_ changed."

From the naive, undeniably sheltered kid he was in high school, to the stubborn workaholic he is now. For better or for worse, he clearly is not the same person he was before Masamune. Then again, Masamune isn't the same as he was, either. Both of them are different, now. They've come a  _long_ way from where they started. But he can't say it hasn't been one hell of a ride.

Masamune appears to snap himself out of the stupor he had been in. "No," he shakes his head. "You haven't changed, that much," he says, like the very idea of that is preposterous. "True, you're more strong-willed and fierce than you were before, but you're still  _Ritsu;_ the same incredible, unwavering, determined person I fell in love with over ten years ago." He brings his hand -the one with the ring- away from himself, and cups the side of Ritsu's face, and brushes a few stray strands of hair away from his eyes with his thumb.

The metal of the ring is surprisingly warm against Ritsu's cheek.

Masamune smiles at Ritsu like he's the sun.

That familiar, fluttering feeling of escaping butterflies fills his chest. "I love you, Masamune," he says, enjoying the weightless, freeing feeling it brings him, even after all this time. "I always have. Even back when I was so far in denial I convinced myself I didn't. And I'm sorry for how much I pushed you away back then," he says, voice soft; honest and sincere. "I was confused, and hurt, and scared, but I'm not, now. Not anymore."

Masamune's eyes look suspiciously wet.

"I just wanted you to know that." Fear and concern strike Ritsu's heart. Was it too much? Should he have waited? Was he doing something wrong? What-

His worries all dissipate when Masamune buries his face in the crook of his neck. "I love you, Ritsu.  _Always._ That never has, and never will change," he promises, lips carving his vow into Ritsu's skin.

Ritsu smiles. "I love you, too."

Masamune hears him, this time.

* * *

Words have power. No one knows that better than him.

They can save something old, build something new, or destroy it altogether. It's terrifying, how such a small thing as a poorly timed laugh, a withheld confession, or a long-overdue declaration can turn everything completely upside down. It takes twenty-five years for Ritsu Onodera to learn that, but he does. ( _Oh,_ he does.) To learn that sometimes it truly is better to say nothing, while other times speaking up is the only thing that can save you. And doing one when you should have done the other is nothing less than devastating.

Words are powerful things.

None of them matter, though, if your voice isn't heard.

Ritsu's words aren't listened to, aren't said, and aren't heard (by the right person, at the right time) for so long that he begins to keep them tucked inside his heart, where only he can hear them. But it isn't until he lets them go, lets then escape to where they belong, to the person he's always wanted to hear him the most, that he realizes:

Being heard is a wonderful thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... It's really over. I still can't believe it. Sorry, but I'm going to gush and become a complete mess, now. 
> 
> Hitting that final 'post chapter' button has got me feeling some kind of way. Like Ritsu said, though, I can't say it hasn't been one hell of a ride. I don't mean to sound arrogant saying this, but I can tell that I've grown both as a writer and as a person because of this story, and that's thanks to all of you, and your kind, encouraging words that I treasure dearly. To each and every person that's ever commented, left kudos, or even just read this fic: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 
> 
> This story was never supposed to happen. That first, terrible, 800 word drabble I posted so long ago was supposed to be the beginning and the end. I never imagined it would become... this. Writing about these two was never supposed to become something I love so much, but here we are, thirty-five chapters and over a hundred thousand words later. (Wow, you guys have a lot of patience!) I'm like Ritsu: people scare me, I don't trust very easily, and I keep my emotions under lock and key, most of the time. But this fic became... an outlet. Something that helped me get more in touch with my emotions, and discover things about myself I hadn't known before. But it, I, would never have come this far if it wasnt for your support. So, again: thank you all. And I just want y'all to know that there's a little bit of my heart in every one of these chapters, and with every one of you. I consider each one of you a truly good friend. 
> 
> Okay, enough sappiness!!!! I need to stop crying already!! Anyway, This story is done now, but I am not. I have many more things planned for our boys, and if y'all don't mind staying on this journey with me, it would mean the world if you subscribed to the series I added this work to. 
> 
> Alright! That's all for now. I'm not sure when, but I hope to see you all again soon! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I just... love these boys? Also unrelated I've reached Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi about three times within the last month.
> 
> Send help


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